


Piglet and Pooh

by Amberlovesocean



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 159,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberlovesocean/pseuds/Amberlovesocean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the age of 8, Kurt is grieving for his late mother.</p><p>Blaine's brother doesn't want to be stuck babysitting.</p><p>Rachael's fathers want her to make real friends.</p><p>Neither Kurt, Rachel, or Blaine wants to spend their summer at a community theater for kids. Each in need of a friend, the children gravitate towards each other and find a friendship that will last the rest of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eight Years Old

 

 

_Kurt and Blaine meet at a summer theater program for children, each being there for a very different reason. What starts as a meeting of two lonely boys blossoms into a friendship that they need to depend on as time and fate make life more difficult than either one of them imagined._

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Lima Recreation Center Community Theater – June 2004**

 

The little boy sat in an old wooden chair, one probably sat in by generations of other children before him. He tried to keep his mind on what the guy was saying, something about the rules they would have to abide by this summer. There were a bunch of other kids in here but they were all strangers – well, he thought they probably were, but he hadn't lifted his head to look.

 

The boy carded his hands through his chestnut hair, what was left of it. It was not even a half an inch long now, not that he cared. He was trying very hard to keep tears from falling down his freckled cheeks. Other kids would make fun of him if he started to cry just because his dad had left him here today. He was suddenly lost in thought, reliving the scene from two weeks ago in his therapist's office.

 

 

 

~#~#~#~#~#~#~

 

 

 

**Dr. Keener's Office - April 2004**

 

“ _Mr. Hummel, can you tell me your concerns with Kurt?” Dr. Keener asked, tapping her pen gently on the pad of paper in front of her and not making eye contact with the sad little boy sitting on the overstuffed chair across from her._

 

“ _I know it's a hard time for him, what with his mother dying just a month ago. I get it. I'm sad, too. But I want to do my best for him,” Burt said, then looked at Kurt. “Sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean to talk about you like you weren't here. Dr. Keener, I know it is normal for us to miss Elizabeth, but a few days ago I found Kurt hiding behind my bed with a pair of scissors. He had cut off all his hair in big chunks and all that was left was some tufts here and there. I had to take him to the barber and just have his head shaved down.”_

 

“ _That is something that kids will do, sort of an experiment to see if they can control something in their lives when everything else seems so uncontrollable. It isn't a sign of mental defect,” she said, and stopped to write a note on her pad._

 

“ _Okay, but when Kurt won't eat and wakes up every night five or six times I don't know what to do. Kurt, my sweet boy,” Burt again made eye contact with his son, “I want to know if there is anything I can do to help.”_

 

_Dr. Keener wrote on the pad again. Her pen scratched on the paper, making Kurt's skin crawl with the sound. He rubbed his upper arms as if it was cold in the room._

 

“ _Kurt, does the sound of my pen bother you?” she asked, finally looking over at the small boy._

 

“ _Yes, ma'am. I don't want to cause any trouble, though. You can keep using it, I'll be okay,” he said._

 

“ _That is very kind of you, Kurt. However, I do have another pen.” She got up from her chair and rummaged through her desk for a minute, coming up with another pen and sat back down._

 

“ _Mr. Hummel? Can you step out of the room? Right through that door is another room you can wait in. There is a television and some crossword puzzle magazines in there. I will speak to you again before you leave,” Dr. Keener said, getting up to escort him into the next room._

 

_Coming back to sit down, the doctor smiled at Kurt, “Now, I was wondering if you would like to tell me about your mother?”_

 

_Forty minutes later, Kurt was asked to sit in the room and Burt was ushered back into the psychiatrist's office._

 

“ _I don't think there is any personality disorder or mental illness evident in your son, Mr. Hummel. I do detect a tendency toward what society thinks of as feminine roles but he is quite clear in his identification of himself as a boy...” Dr. Keener started._

 

“ _Hey, hey, hey...wait just a damned minute. You might be a doctor and have all kinds of fancy medical degrees and highfalutin certificates, but there is nothing wrong with my son in that regard. So he likes colorful clothes and having tea parties instead of climbing trees in dirty blue jeans, but he's my son and he can do those things if he wants....” Burt burst forth._

 

_Dr. Keener held up her hand to stop him. “No, no...Mr. Hummel! You misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with any of that. I was going to say that in my professional opinion you have been an excellent parent, the best Kurt could ever hope for. You are kind, caring and accepting. Many boys in Kurt's situation are not so lucky.”_

 

_Burt snorted, but didn't interrupt her._

 

“ _What I see is a little boy that has lost the person dearest to his heart and he is grieving. Cutting his hair is just an attempt to regain some control over himself, he is feeling lost. With your support, I can see him getting much better with a little time. I'm not going to recommend any medication at this time, because he just needs to be allowed to grieve. I'm going to ask that you bring Kurt back every other week for a while, so I can monitor his progress, but I think what might help is to get his mind on something else. Perhaps an organized sport, such as little league or soccer?” She looked over at Burt, who was shaking his head 'no'. “How about an art program of some sort? Not an isolated one like painting, but a group activity...a community theater group meets twice a week at the recreation center and Kurt might get some enjoyment out of that.”_

 

 

 

_~#~#~#~#~#~#~_

 

 

 

**Lima Recreation Center Community Theater – June 2004**

 

Kurt's dad had enrolled him in the summer theater program for children, and here he was. He touched the floor with his toe, rubbing out a scuff mark with his shoe. He tried to think of something other than how bad he was feeling when there was a disturbance at the door.

 

“My daddies said I would get the starring role!” a shrill voice sounded from the hallway. Kurt looked up. He knew that voice from his second grade class. He smiled a bit, knowing if Rachel Berry was here, this might be some fun after all. That girl knew how to pitch a fit like nobody he had ever met. A small smile threatened the corner of his mouth, but he looked down again.

 

Suddenly there was a warm hand tucking itself into his. He jumped a bit and brought his eyes up to see a small boy sitting next to him. Two huge hazel brown eyes were glued to his and Kurt was unable to even speak. It was like he was being hypnotized. The boy had a mop of curly black hair that hung down almost in his eyes. He flipped some of the curls back with a jerk of his head and looked intently at Kurt's face. The boy sat looking at Kurt, then a smile slowly materialized on his dusky pink lips and Kurt couldn't help but smile back.

 

“Hey, you look sad. Don't be sad, I'll be your friend here. Okay?” the curly haired boy asked, his whisper sincere and friendly.

 

“Okay. Thank you. My name is Kurt.”

 

“I'm Blaine, and we're going to be good friends, Kurt.”

 

 

 

#~#~#~#~#~

 

 

 

**Anderson Kitchen – April 2004**

 

“ _Cooper!”_

 

“ _Yes, Mom?”_

 

“ _Where is your brother?”_

 

“ _Playing at the park with that brat from down the block. His mom was with them, so I figured he was safe, okay? I had some stuff to get done.”_

 

“ _You mean the Smythe kid? I didn't think Blaine even liked Sebastian. You just dumped Blaine on that poor woman, didn't you?”_

 

“ _Aw, Mom. I just wanted a few minutes to myself. I have a life, too, you know. Why am I the babysitter?” Coop complained._

 

“ _Because you live in this house and your father and I feed you and clothe you, young man. I know you're up to no good with that girl you hang around. It will do you some good to have some responsibility this summer.”_

 

“ _But Mom, I don't have any time to myself at all. I have that kid up my butt all day every day. It's bad enough during the school year, but summers are the worst.”_

 

“ _Well, your father and I cannot just stop doing business because you want to hang around your girlfriend and be lazy all summer. You are eighteen years old and you have to take some responsibility. How much trouble can an eight year old get into? If it's really that bad, sign him up for some summer activity. Leroy and Hiram put their daughter in a community theater group for the summer. That will take care of three hours a day twice a week. Use your brain for once, Cooper.”_

 

“ _He is such a pain in my ass. Yeah, I can dump him off there. Thanks, Mom.”_

 

_Blaine, who was sitting under the kitchen window because Sebbie Smythe had told him to get lost, heard all of this. He wiped the tears from his eyes and walked over to sit on his swing until dinner time._

 

 

 

_~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#_

 

 

 

**Lima Recreation Center Community Theater – June 2004**

 

Rachel flounced into the room, glaring at the doorway where one of the directors of the community theater was standing, her arms crossed and a frown on her face. Rachel rolled her eyes and walked back into the hallway. The conversation could be heard in the room.

 

“Now, Mr. Berry. I understand that you give a generous fund to this community theater every year, and it is appreciated by each and every member of the troupe. But we cannot allow that to color our choices when it comes to picking the plays we do or casting said plays. It has to be fair to all involved – thus the name “Community” in the title. Rachel is welcomed to try out for any part she wishes, but the final cast of each play is in the hands of the directors. Now, we will see you at three o'clock when you come to collect your daughter. Goodbye, Mr. Berry.”

 

Kurt looked at his new friend, Blaine, and caught him looking back. They shared a quiet smirk. This theater thing might turn out to be a lot more fun than they had thought.

 

Rachel was still standing in the middle of the floor, arms crossed and toe tapping in annoyance. She looked around and saw Kurt Hummel sitting in a chair holding the hand of another boy, a smaller one with a mop of curls and big, soulful hazel eyes. The chair on the other side of Kurt was empty, so Rachel walked over and sat down. She looked at Kurt's head for a moment, shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him.

 

“Hi, Kurt. I didn't know you wanted to be an actor,” she said. Kurt made a sort of non-committal noise and then gave her a half smile. He looked back down at his lap.

 

“What did your dad do to your hair, Kurt?” Rachel asked, now openly staring at him.

 

Kurt blushed all the way up his neck and turned his head, wishing with all his might that he could sink into the floor.

 

Rachel tapped her foot, waiting for an answer.

 

“Ah, Rachel? I'm Blaine. Kurt and I are friends and I think he doesn't want to talk about his hair right now. What school do you go to?” Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand and took over the conversation so as to steer Rachel away from tormenting Kurt. He spoke to Rachel for a few minutes before the director walked to the front of the room and tapped her chalk on the chalkboard. All eyes went to her and the participants quieted down.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Lima Community Theater for Children. I am the director, Ella McGregor. Each year we put on two plays. We do some acting classes and work on learning to memorize scripts and we do fun projects like read parts of plays to develop confidence. All parts in the plays will be cast after try-outs. Everyone is welcome to try out for any roles. You may not know very many people here today, but by the end of the summer, you will know everyone.”

 

 

 

Ella went on to explain Reader's Theater and the boys and girls were allowed to pick a partner to read with. Rachel turned in her chair to ask Kurt, but his attention was already taken up with the new boy, Blaine. They were still holding hands and Blaine appeared to be calming Kurt down by rubbing his arm in a gentle way.

 

Rachel was sorry for Kurt. She had been to his mother's funeral and understood when her daddies told her about Elizabeth Hummel having leukemia. It made Rachel sad because she liked Mrs. Hummel, who baked cup cakes for the school parties and helped when the class went to visit the zoo and the museum. Rachel wanted to help, but she had never had a mother, so she didn't understand what it would be like to miss one. The thought of losing one of her fathers was scary, though.

 

As it turned out, there were enough for everyone to be in a pair, with only one left over. Rachel had counted on being partnered with Kurt and hadn't asked anyone else, so she was all alone. She started to get upset when a hand touched her shoulder.

 

“Rachel? Kurt and I want to know if you will be in our group?” Blaine asked, looking at her with his big eyes. She smiled, happy to be included.

 

“Yes, I will. Thank you,” Rachel said.

 

They were all given scripts to read and sent to different parts of the theater to practice. Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel went up to the balcony, looking around to be sure they were alone. They each read through their parts – the three had been given lines from “The Wizard of Oz” - and grew bored quickly.

 

“Kurt, I didn't mean to upset you earlier. Why did your dad cut your hair so short – Oh! I'm sorry, did you have lice or something?” Rachel asked, putting her fingers over her mouth in shock.

 

“No! Rachel Berry, I did not have lice. I just wanted to have my hair gone. So I tried to cut it, and I messed it up so Dad took me to his barber,” Kurt said in a quiet voice, his eyes begging Rachel to just drop it.

 

“But why?” she persisted. “You had such beautiful hair.”

 

“I..I...” Kurt stopped and just sat there, then tears began to run down his face.

 

“Rachel, leave him alone! Kurt, it's okay. You don't have to tell anyone. Come here,” Blaine said, hugging Kurt around the neck. Kurt just leaned into his new friend and sighed.

 

“You'll be okay, Kurt. I'll always be your friend,” Blaine whispered into his ear.

 

They sat back down and read the script together, Rachel doing the part of Dorothy, Blaine the Scarecrow, and Kurt the Tin Man. By the end of the hour, they had read it several times and were comfortable enough with each other.

 

 

 

Mrs. McGregor called the children back to the circle and asked them to sit in the chairs and pay attention.

 

“I hope you made some good friends today. On Thursday we'll be reading our parts just like they do in Reader's Theatre, then next week we can try out for parts in this summer's production of “The House at Pooh Corner”. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Thursday.”

 

 

 

Rachel walked out to wait on the grass for her dad to pick her up. She had been afraid of coming here, afraid she wouldn't be able to make friends and afraid that the other kids would resent her talent. It was such a relief when she saw Kurt sitting there. They weren't close friends, but at least she knew him and he was nice to her. Plus, the other boy, Blaine, was nice.

 

Kurt and Blaine walked out to wait. Burt was there in just a few minutes and opened the door for Kurt, smiling at the little girl he knew was in Kurt's class. Hiram Berry's girl, but he couldn't recall her name.

 

“Dad,” Kurt said in a soft voice, “can we wait until Blaine's brother picks him up? He's scared his brother will forget him and I don't want him to be scared.” Kurt looked up at his father, his big blue eyes filling with tears. Burt had taken his lunch hour to come get Kurt and had to get back to the shop, but looking at his son's face was all he needed to convince himself this was more important.

 

“Sure, kid, no problem. Want to introduce him to me?” Burt asked, his warm hand on his son's shoulder to comfort him.

 

Kurt went back to Blaine and took his hand, leading him to his car where his dad was waiting.

 

“Dad, this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, this is my dad, Burt Hummel.”

 

Blaine held out his hand to shake with this large man. He was scared, he wasn't often introduced to adult men and this one was very intimidating. He looked gruff, frowning as he looked at the group of kids at the door of the building. His eyes focused on Kurt for a second and a warmth filled him. Blaine could see how just that one glance at Kurt made Mr. Hummel calm and happy. He wished with all his might that one day his own father might look at him like that.

 

Burt saw Blaine's hand and saw it trembling a little, but the kid's gaze never wavered as he looked up at him. Burt took the kid's hand and shook it. This kid had courage was the first thing Burt observed about Blaine. He smiled down at the kid and got a small smile in return.

 

Kurt had moved closer to the boy, his arm snaking around his waist. Burt saw his son comforting another boy and it warmed his heart that in the midst of his grief he had reached out to another person that needed him.

 

“I hear we are waiting for your...ah..brother?” Burt asked, trying to remember what Kurt had said.

 

“Yes, sir. You don't have to wait if you don't want to, I'm used to waiting for him. It was kind of you to offer,” Blaine said in words that sounded rehearsed and not something that came naturally out of the mouth of an eight year old. Burt wondered how often this boy had to make excuses for his brother.

 

“Hello, Mr. Hummel,” Rachel walked up. She couldn't stand being left out of anything.

 

“Hi, sweetheart, how are you?” Burt said, smiling at the girl, trying to think of her name. Then it came to him. He remembered her fathers introducing her at Elizabeth's funeral.

 

“Did you have fun today, Rachel?” he asked.

 

“Yes, I did. I hope to be a lead in the play, but since there are many parts I'm sure Kurt will get one, too,” she said with sincerity, smiling at Kurt.

 

“Well, I hope you all have fun,” Burt said, wondering when Blaine's brother would show up.

 

Hiram Berry drove up, spotted Rachel and waved out his car window.

 

“Hello, Burt! I see you enrolled Kurt in the Community Theatre!” he greeted.

 

Burt nodded his head. Rachel got in the car and Hiram waved as he pulled away from the curb. There was no sign of Blaine's brother.

 

Burt gave up and walked over to a bench in front of the building and sat with the boys as they told him all about the class. The class had let out at three but it was almost five before a loud muffler on a beat-up car sounded down the block. Blaine stiffened and got up.

 

“Mr. Hummel, thank you for sitting with me. I apologize for my brother, I'm sure there was a reason he is so late in picking me up. I don't think it will happen again,” Blaine tried to explain, and Burt could tell this wasn't the first time the kid had to make an apology for his brother.

 

“It was no trouble at all, kid. I guess we'll see you on Thursday,” he said, smiling at the little kid. If anyone needed a friend, this was the kid.

 

Kurt went over and hugged Blaine, “I'll see you on Thursday, Blaine.”

 

The old car drove up to the curb, the teenager driving honking as if he couldn't see Blaine was standing a few feet away. “Hurry up, Squirt! I don't have all day.”

 

Blaine ran to the other side of the car and jumped in, barely getting his seat belt on before Cooper pulled away and skidded his tires at the end of the block.

 

Burt turned to Kurt, motioning for him to get in their truck.

 

“Dad, thank you for letting me wait with Blaine. I think he's scared to be by himself, and I think he's by himself a lot,” Kurt said.

 

“I think you're right, Kurt. Maybe you can invite him over to visit. Or maybe I can give him a lift home after the classes. He seems like a nice boy, is he in your class at school?”

 

“No. They just moved here. Maybe he will be next fall. He's my best friend here, though,” Kurt smiled at the thought of his new friend.

 

 

 

 

 

**Lima Recreation Center Community Theater – July 2004**

 

Over the next few weeks, the Community Theatre classes were the highlight of Kurt's week. He could sit with Blaine and sometimes Rachel and practice lines, talk about what they hoped to do one day. All three of the friends wanted to be on Broadway. The had friendly competition and all tried out for the roles in The House at Pooh Corner. On a Tuesday, the cast list was going to be posted and the three friends could hardly wait.

 

Entering the building, Rachel ran to be first to see the list posted on the wall. She had tried out for several parts but really wanted to be Christopher Robin. She wasn't disappointed.

 

“I got it! I'm Christopher Robin!” she shouted. The role appealed to her because she thought Christopher Robin was the most important one.

 

Both Blaine and Kurt hugged her.

 

“I'm glad you got your part,” Blaine said, smiling at her. A lot of the kids didn't like Rachel. She always wanted to be in the center of the group, always pushing herself to do her very best at all times and the other kids didn't understand that. Blaine did. He had similar ambitions, but in a slightly different way. He wanted to be important to his family, especially to his father. He worshiped his father and looked for his approval. Unfortunately his dad was a busy man and while he loved Blaine with all his heart, he didn't have a clue how to relate to him. Cooper had figured this out early in life and had shifted his focus to pleasing his teachers and his grandparents. He barely acknowledged his father at all and it worked for both of them. He had tried to explain this to Blaine, but the kid wouldn't listen.

 

“Go see if you guys got your parts,” Rachel encouraged. She had seen the cast list and knew already, but seeing your name on the list was exciting and she didn't want to take that away from her friends.

 

Kurt walked over to the board, his hand wrapped tightly in Blaine's. They looked and saw that they had both gotten their first choices in the play: Blaine was Piglet and Kurt was Winnie the Pooh. They grinned at each other.

 

 

 

In the guise of having to rehearse, Blaine started hanging out at Kurt's house during the days they didn't go to Community Theatre. They did practice, sometimes with Rachel joining them. Burt couldn't be home with Kurt and he was too young to be left alone, so he had asked Kurt's grandmother, Elizabeth's mother, to come and stay with Kurt during the days, and it worked fine for all concerned. Betsy Higgins needed something to occupy her days now that her husband was passed away and Kurt loved his grandmother. She had moved in the house just after Elizabeth's funeral and it worked out fine for all. She could teach Kurt to bake and garden, not thinking it strange at all that a little boy would prefer those things above soccer and comic books.

 

Betsy was not the spry woman she had been only a few years ago and her daughter's death had aged her. Feeling wanted and needed in the Hummel house was a blessing to her, but she slept a lot and wasn't able to walk up the stairs where Kurt and Burt's bedrooms were. Kurt was a conscientious boy and stayed out of trouble and he often had Blaine over to rehearse for the upcoming play. After an hour or so of reading the lines and memorizing them, they would get restless and go in the back yard to play.

 

Burt had built Kurt a tree house and the boys spent hours in it, just talking and singing or reading. They grew to be so comfortable it didn't matter what they were doing, they did it together. They often ended up in the family room, laying together on the sofa eating popcorn and watching movies.

 

“Kurt, are we going to be friends forever?” Blaine asked one day while they sat in the tree house eating a bowl of grapes. That was the ending line of the play, when Pooh and Piglet walk away together.

 

“Of course we are, Blaine. Even if we move away from each other, you will always be my best friend. Always.”

 

Blaine smiled. Even when he hated everyone and everything, which happened too often in his young life, he was always sure of Kurt. He thought of Kurt as being the one thing in his life that would always remain constant. He smiled and curled up beside his friend on the pile of cushions they had dragged up the stairs of the tree house. They fell asleep in the shade of the huge ash tree where Burt had built the tree house, Blaine's head resting on Kurt's chest and Kurt holding Blaine's hand in his as though they didn't have a care in the world.

 

 

 

The night of the play, and the last night of the Community Theatre classes, the boys were at Kurt's house getting ready. They had on their costumes and were so excited to be doing the play in front of all their families. Blaine's folks had promised to be there, but he had elected to get ready with Kurt to be on time for the play.

 

 

 

The play went perfectly. Everyone remembered their lines, the costumes fit, the make-up was perfect. The scenery that had been made by the students was whimsical and cute. All the parents were in the audience and the actors were a bit nervous. As usual, Blaine was the calming influence as he spoke a word or two to everyone, complementing each one on their costume or make-up, reassuring them they would remember their lines, and giving a few a hug. Rachel was confident on the surface, keeping her head high and a smile pasted on her face. She looked confident, but Blaine and Kurt knew the pressure she placed on herself to do and be the best. She had a drive to excel that neither one could really understand, it was enough for them to know it was there.

 

“Hey, Rachel, you're going to be great out there,” Kurt said, walking up in back of her as she sat getting her hair pinned up so the wig for Christopher Robin would fit. She started to give him one of her stock answers about how she didn't need any more encouragement, she was fine. But this was Kurt, and Blaine was right behind him, slipping his hand into hers.

 

“Thank you, Kurt, Blaine. You are the best friends a girl could have you know.”

 

They smiled and then Mrs. McGregor called them to get in their places on stage. Kurt started to move, he was the only one on the stage in the first part and had to be on his mark before it could start. Blaine took his hand and pulled him closer.

 

“I know you will be great,” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, then leaned forward and kissed him on his rosy freckled cheek. Kurt smiled. He knew he would be okay now, Blaine believed in him. He walked onto the stage with his head up.

 

 

 

All during the play, Blaine would glance out at the audience to see if his parents were there. He hadn't been able to find them in the crowd, but they had said they would be there. Maybe they were in the back where it was dark and he couldn't spot them. Kurt had been looking, too. He had met Mrs. Anderson once, but had never seen Mr. Anderson. He looked for Cooper, but didn't see him. He was angry because Blaine wanted them to be there so badly. He knew his dad would clap for Blaine and take them all out for ice cream after, but it would not be the same if Blaine's parents didn't show.

 

Just before the second act, Kurt was looking out of the curtains while Blaine was sitting in a chair, looking at the cuff of his Piglet costume and tucking it in over and over. He was trying to keep the tears from falling and ruining the play for everyone else. Aside from Kurt as Pooh, he had the most lines and he was sometimes forgetful, so he had a script open and was skimming over the words.

 

“Blaine!” Kurt said in a stage whisper. “Blaine. Come here!”

 

“Mrs. McGregor said we aren't supposed to be looking out of the curtains, it isn't professional,” Rachel said to Kurt, but he just gave her a frown and she walked away.

 

“What, Kurt?” Blaine said in his sad voice.

 

“Quit sounding like Eeyore, your parents are here,” Kurt said and a smile lit up Blaine's entire face. He peeked out of the slit in the curtains and there in a middle row was Cooper. He looked like he was sorry to be seen there, but at least he had shown up. Right beside him was his girlfriend, Jenn, and on the other side of her were his mother and father.

 

“Oh, Kurt! They came!” Blaine whispered back, bouncing as he told his friend.

 

“Okay, first you're Eeyore, now you're Tiggr?” Kurt teased as Blaine picked him up and whirled him around in a circle.

 

“Yes!” he said, too loudly and Mrs. McGregor gave him a look. He blushed but couldn't stop the smile from his face.

 

“Time to hit your marks, children,” she directed and Blaine ran out behind the curtain and stood on his mark. Kurt got ready to walk on at his cue and Rachel came up beside him, sliding her hand into his. He turned to her, this wasn't something Rachel did very often, and saw the smile on her face looking at Blaine. He squeezed her hand in understanding and they moved to be ready to enter the stage.

 

The rest of the play went on without a hitch, everyone remembered their lines, everyone shone brightly, but Blaine shone the brightest of all.

 

 

 

After the play ended, they were called back on stage for a second bow and Kurt grinned to see his father clapping and whistling. He looked over a the Anderson family just as Cooper whistled the loudest and his mother tapped the back of his head to tell him to behave. It made Blaine grin from ear to ear when he heard Cooper whistle.

 

Afterwards, the actors changed into their street clothes and handed the costumed back to the wardrobe mistress. Mrs. McGregor hugged each one of the students and thanked them for being so awesome. Kurt and Blaine hugged Rachel and made plans to meet the next week before school started. They wanted one last day at Kurt's house to just be kids before the stress of school started over again. At least this time, Kurt thought, Blaine would be there.

 

 

 

The two boys walked outside the building where their parents were waiting, Blaine proudly introduced his father to Kurt and to Kurt's dad. Mr. Anderson was polite and smiled at Kurt then shook Burt's hand.

 

“Thank you for having my Blaine over this summer, it was a relief to know he was in good hands, Mr. Hummel,” Mr. Anderson said. Burt nodded.

 

Kurt wondered what was going on. His father hated being called 'Mr. Hummel' and always invited people to call him 'Burt' instead. He didn't say anything, but Blaine held his hand tighter.

 

“You all did an excellent job, Kurt. I liked the play very much,” Mrs. Anderson said.

 

“Thank you, ma'am,” he responded. She had never asked him to call her by her first name, either and he wondered what it was.

 

“Mom, Burt asked us to go out for ice cream as a celebration. Can we go?” Blaine asked his mother, knowing she would be more likely to respond favorable then his father.

 

“Oh, Blaine, we need to get home. Your father and I have a meeting with the corporate secretary in the morning in Columbus. Maybe another time, honey,” Mrs. Anderson said. She hugged her son and Mr. Anderson patted his head.

 

“Good job, son. You made us proud,” he told Blaine and the smile on Blaine's face could outshine the sun. Suddenly it didn't matter if his parents took him to get ice cream, his father said he was proud.

 

“Would you like to come with us, if it's okay with your folks?” Burt asked and Mrs. Anderson nodded her consent, patting Blaine on the shoulder.

 

“Of course, that would be nice. Thank you, Mr. Hummel. It was nice to meet you,” she said politely.

 

“Nice to meet you, Hummel,” Mr. Anderson said, then turned to walk to his car.

 

After they left, Cooper smiled at his brother.

 

“You were great, Squirt. I need to get Jenn home, I'll see you later. Oh, you were great, too, Kurt,” Coop said and gave his little brother a hug.

 

Jenn smiled at the two boys and waved goodbye, catching up with Cooper and putting her arm around his waist as they walked down the street to their car.

 

“Let's go,” Burt said, trying to appear to be in a good mood after meeting Blaine's parents. He could hardly believe how oblivious they were. He went to Kurt and kneeled down to bring him into a hug. “You were really great on stage, kiddo,” he said, “I love you.”

 

Then he turned to Blaine, pulling him into a hug, too. “You were really great, too, Blaine. Your folks and I were all proud of you,” he told the small boy. “And just so you know, I love you, too, Blaine. You're a good kid.”

Burt straightened up and walked quickly to the truck before he could see the look in Blaine's eyes, taking his handkerchief out to blow his nose before getting into the seat. He didn't want to think about what the kid was going through because the pitiful way he grabbed onto the fact that his dad said just those few words and Blaine was ecstatic. Were words like that so hard to come by for Blaine? Burt thought so. He could tell something was wrong by the way Blaine clutched onto Kurt and himself whenever he visited, but he didn't know what to do about it. He popped the lock open on the other door and Kurt and Blaine got in as they drove to the ice cream parlor. Blaine was cheerful and grinned the whole time, still happy his father has said he was proud of him.

 

 

 


	2. Ten Years Old

 

 

 

Camp Cloudy Pines, Eastern Ohio ~ July 2006

 

Kurt sat in the hot cabin, wondering when his dad was going to stop torturing him in the name of “making friends”. He loved his dad. He did! But this was taking it just a bit too far. The year his mom died, Kurt's dad had enrolled him in that theater group. Okay, it had turned out alright. He'd met a few friends that he still hung around. Rachel Berry. Tina Chang. He'd also met his best friend, Blaine Anderson, so it did turn out okay.

Well, almost okay. The kids at school were still calling him _Pooh_ and Blaine _Piglet_ two years after the play. Those were the kind of nicknames a kid never got rid of. At least nobody here at the camp knew about that, so he could just be “Kurt”. 

Then there was last year. His dad sent him to a day camp at the rec center where he learned to swim and play soccer. He hated it. With a purple passion. Blaine was the only good part of that whole experience because when some of the bigger guys: Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman would push him around, Blaine would distract them with a joke or something. Blaine was a smaller kid, but because his big brother, was always picking on him, Blaine was also a tough kid and nobody wanted to mess with him. When Noah went too far and pushed Kurt into the deep end of the pool, Blaine dived in and helped him to the edge, then he got out and chased Noah through the locker room and out of the building. Nobody saw it, but Noah had a black eye the next day. He claimed he'd run into a cupboard door, but nobody believed him. Kurt never asked Blaine what happened, but when he'd bumped Blaine's shoulder on the way home, Blaine looked at him with a shy grin and looked down. His long eyelashes brushed his blushing red cheeks and Kurt didn't have to ask anymore.

 

This year was the worst. He was here in this camp with no friends and no Blaine. It was going to be a terrible summer.

 

“Hey, kid, come out with us and play volleyball!” a tall slim kid said, walking into the cabin. He smiled at Kurt.

“Ah, okay,” Kurt said, stumbling over his answer. He followed the kid out to the center of the clearing in front of the cabins and stood in the crowd. The slim kid and a tough looking girl were standing in front of the other kids. The girl was holding a volleyball in one hand and her other hand was on her hip. They were choosing teams.

“I want the tall kid in the glasses,” Slim said.

“Give me the skinny blond jumping up and down in the back row,” the other captain chose.

“The red haired girl.”

“The tall pale one in the blue polo,” the girl said, pointing at Kurt. He hesitated, but she smiled at him and when he walked by her, she whispered, “I bet you can jump, right?”

“I want the Asian skyscraper hiding in the back,” the boy said.

It went until the kids were all picked. Kurt was thankful he wasn't the last one. He stood with the group of kids making up his team. The bossy girl introduced herself:

“I'm Mercy, short for Mercedes. I want you, you, and you in the front row,” she pointed at three kids, “And you, you, and you in the back. Hey, can you serve?” she asked Kurt.

“Yeah. We played at school.” 

“Cool. You serve first.”

Kurt walked to his place and Mercy threw him the ball. The other team were in their places and the whistle blew for them to play. Kurt's first serve flew over the net in a perfect arc and his captain cheered him. This summer might not be so bad after all.

 

They won the volleyball game, but by a very thin margin. Kurt had a good time, but he was very tired now. The groups broke up and he made his way to the shade of a stand of pine trees. He sat down on a log bench and looked around, trying to catch his breath. Mercy came over to sit beside him.

“So, you played at your school?” she asked and he smiled. 

“Just in gym class,” he said. “How about you?”

“Nah, I'm a Navy brat. I move schools like you change your socks. You looked a little lost, that's why I chose you. I know how that feels.”

“I'm sorry for that,” he said, not sure what his response was supposed to be.

“No worries, I'll be fine. I've learned to get along, to find my place. I've had lots of practice after all.” She grinned at him. “I'm Mercedes Jones. You can call me Mercy. What's your name, kid?”

“Kurt Hummel, I'm from Lima,” he told her.

“Then maybe I'll be seeing you. My mom and dad are separated now and my mom and I are moving to Lima at the end of summer. It'll be nice to know somebody when I start school.”

“That sounds nice. When's lunch around here? My bus was late and I didn't get in on the first part of the announcements.”

“Oh! You came in on that last bus? Did you hear?” she asked, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Hear what?” Kurt asked.

“Some of the kids said they saw a stowaway. When they opened the luggage doors on the side of the bus, they said a kid was hiding in there. He jumped out and ran, but with all these trees and bushes and everything, he just disappeared. The councilors looked, but then they said the kids were making the story up. Maybe they were – who would stowaway to a summer camp?” she giggled.

Just then a big man walked out of the dining room and rang a big triangle that was hanging from the porch roof. The kids came running from all over, crowding to get into the doors. 

“Looks like lunch, Kurt.” Mercy smiled at him.

 

After lunch, the kids all went to their cabin to get their things put away and have some time to write to their parents or talk to each other. There would be a movie later that afternoon or a hike around the lake. Kurt got out his suitcase and opened it. He had packed it very neatly. Actually, he'd packed and repacked it several times to make it all precise, but when he opened the zipper, it was jumbled as if someone had taken everything out and pushed it back in while in a hurry. Strange. Well, maybe his dad was checking on him to be sure he had everything?

Taking his clothes out to set neatly in the drawers provided, he started coming across things he knew he hadn't packed. Running shorts, sweatpants, t-shirts? He had some, but not in these colors. He checked the suitcase to make sure it was his, but there was the luggage tag with his name on it, and most of the thing he had packed.

There wasn't time to contemplate anything else, he threw the clothes in the drawers as fast as he could while folding each article neatly. Maybe his dad thought he didn't have enough stuff packed. Here were two toothbrushes...?

After settling his things, his cabin mates came in. Each cabin had four boys or girls. Kurt had the bottom bunk on the west wall. The kid in the top was the one that had asked him to come play ball, his name was Jeff Sterling. In the other bunks were Mike Chang and Trent Barnes. They all seemed like nice kids and Kurt hoped they would get along this summer. 

The afternoon was full of fun, much to Kurt's surprise. They hiked around the lake, playing games and chatting. He found out everyone in his cabin was from Ohio, two of them from Westerville and Mike from Lima. He heard stories about all the shenanigans from years gone by from kids that had been coming to the camp summer after summer. 

After dinner, he was at the back of a group of the campers, all of them sitting by the campfire and singing. Some of the kids were roasting marshmallows. He was sitting between Mercy and Jeff when something stung his arm. He looked around, thinking it was a mosquito maybe, but didn't see anything. It happened again, but this time it stung more and he jumped.

“What's up, Kurt? See a ghost?” Mercy whispered.

“No, I think something bit me,” he whispered back, rubbing his arm.

“It's too early for mosquitoes, it must have been a horsefly, they bite hard.”

They went back to singing and at the end of the evening everyone went back to the cabins. 

 

“I'm bushed!” Trent said, climbing into his bunk. 

“Me, too,” Mike joined in, “That hike around the lake was longer than I remember it from last year.”

There was a knock at the door and their camp councilor came in.

“Everybody ready for bed? Anyone need anything?” he asked, but all four of the boys were already in bed. “Okay, I'll be here in the morning at seven to wake you up,” he smiled and left.

Jeff leaned over the top bunk to smile at Kurt. “I am a heavy sleeper, I mean nothing short of an earthquake will wake me up, so you shake my arm or something when he knocks on the door. I don't want him mad at me, okay?”

“Sure, Jeff, no problem,” Kurt said.

They all fell asleep soon after lights out.

 

It was probably eleven or a little later when Kurt thought he heard a noise. His bunk was on the west side of the partition, Mike and Trent's was on the east side, but they shared a bathroom. There was a door on both the east and west walls.

He wasn't sure what woke him up, but he could heard Jeff mumbling in his sleep, so it wasn't him. Kurt held still, but there weren't any noises coming from the other side of the partition, either. Probably some little animal or something. He knew there was a large dog that the camp kept as protection against any large animals, but the dog was silent tonight. Kurt sighed and went back to sleep. 

He had a hard time sleeping. Often he'd have nightmares at home. His bedroom was in the basement, so his dad, whose bedroom was upstairs, didn't hear him. He didn't want his dad or anyone to know about the nightmares. They were often about his mother. Well, that was the nice part, the scary part was about her grave. He got angry at himself for thinking about it and that sometimes made them worse if he thought about them during the day. He'd try to think of something else. 

A little while later, Kurt must have dozed off because he startled awake just as a hand covered his mouth and someone landed on his chest in the bed. He struggled, but the person was strong. He stopped to regroup for a second when he heard the voice in his ear. It was pitch black in the cabin, but he would know that voice anywhere. He stopped struggling and relaxed.

“Blaine!” he whispered loudly.

“Shhhh!” Blaine warned, taking Kurt's hand and reaching beside the bed to get his shoes. He helped Kurt put them on and took his hand, leading him out the door and through the shadows, under the trees to some bushes.

“Blaine, what are you doing here? Kurt demanded, shocked to see his best friend, but so happy he was here.

“I kind of...ah...hid in the luggage compartment on the bus. I thought for sure I'd get caught when I got out, but I ran into the woods and they gave up. I think only a few kids saw me, because I heard the adults saying they thought the kids made it up. Nobody else came back.”

Kurt was standing there in the woods in his pajamas and canvas shoes, just staring at Blaine. 

“You ran away from home...to be with..me?” he asked, his mouth open a little.

“Of course. You're my best friend, Kurt. I couldn't stand having a summer without you,” he smiled.

“Www....?” Kurt was lost for words.

“I tried to get your attention when you were sitting on that log by the fire, but there were too many people. I threw a piece of gravel at you, but you must have thought it was a bug, then that girl beside you was looking, so I went back to hide. Do you have anything to eat? I'm starving,” he said. “I ate some blackberries in the woods, but there weren't very many,” he added, looking at Kurt with his big brown eyes.

“Yeah, I have some beef jerky and some dried pineapple in my room. I can sneak you some food from the dining hall tomorrow.”

“That would be great. I can stay in the woods most of the day, or be with you when nobody's around. I don't want to get you in trouble, though,” Blaine looked hesitant.

“Don't worry about that, silly. Of course you'll be with me. You can sleep in my bed, nobody will notice. My bunkmate, Jeff, is dead to the world when he sleeps. You can hide under the bed when the councilor comes to get us in the morning, okay?”

“Sound good. I am so tired. Can we go back and sleep now, and get that food. I don't know if I'm more hungry or tired,” Blaine said, bumping Kurt's shoulder.

“Oh, it makes sense now...when did you decide to do this?” Kurt asked.

“Last week. It kept getting closer and closer and I didn't want to spend the summer without you...” Blaine repeated.

“You put some of your clothes in my suitcase,” Kurt said, the piece of the puzzle in place now.

“Yeah, your stuff is too long on me,” Blaine grinned.

“So, aren't your parents going to worry?” Kurt asked.

“No. They asked if I wanted to go with them to France, but I said no, I had plans for the summer. Then just before they left, I told Cooper I changed my mind and was leaving with them. Lucky for me your bus for camp left on the same day my parents left for Europe. Nobody will be the wiser because you'll be home three days before they come home. It's not like Cooper talks to them about me, anyway. I'm sure everyone is happy thinking they don't have me as a burden all summer.” Blaine looked away, but Kurt knew he was trying not to let the tears start. He put out his arms and hugged Blaine tightly to distract him.

“I'm glad you came, Blaine. This is going to be a good summer with you here!” 

They walked back to the cabin, very quietly, and Blaine got under the covers in Blaine's bed. He pulled the blanket up while Kurt got him some of the beef jerky and pineapple. Blaine ate it quickly and Kurt found an apple from dinner and gave him that, too.

“Thanks, Pooh-bear,” Blaine grinned.

“Go to sleep, Piglet,” Kurt grinned back, taking Blaine's hand in his and sharing his pillow. They fell asleep, snuggled together.

 

Neither of the boys had seen the other camper peeking around the corner, observing them, then tiptoed back to their bunk.

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

“Blaine...wake up...hey, wake up,” Kurt whispered. Blaine sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes.

“Here, get under the bed. I put a blanket under there and I have my suitcase in front of it. You'll be safe and I'll bring you something to eat,” Kurt assured his best buddy. Blaine slipped under the bunk and out of sight just minutes before Kurt shook Jeff's arm to wake him up and the knock came to the door telling the camper to get up for breakfast.

Breakfast was cafeteria style, so Kurt got a lot more food than he would have normally. Nobody said anything but Mercy, who asked Kurt how he could eat so much but stay so skinny.

“I run a lot,” he said and changed the subject. 

After breakfast, Kurt walked back to his cabin to 'change his shoes', having worn his bedroom slippers to breakfast so he could manufacture this excuse. He slipped in the door and listened, not hearing anything. He looked at the beds behind the partition, but Trent and Mike were gone, so Kurt called to Blaine. 

Blaine was out like a shot, smiling at Kurt as he handed over scrabbled eggs, bacon, an oatmeal muffin, and two oranges.

“Sorry, I couldn't bring you anything to drink, but I ran out of pockets to hide the food in and I couldn't exactly carry a glass of grape juice across the camp,” he laughed. Blaine just grinned, shoveling the food into his mouth.

“This is wonderful Kurt. I was starving. I can get water in the bathroom, so don't worry about the drinks. What are you doing today?” he asked.

“We're going horseback riding. The stables are down on the other side of the lake. I heard the guys talking, both Trent and Mike have been going here since they were six years old! Anyway, once we get on the horses, the experienced riders can just go where they want. I was thinking I could meet you somewhere?” Kurt suggested.

“That sounds great. I have a map of the camp here...” he rummaged through his pockets, “Sorry, I took it off your dad's desk before we left. I needed to know where I could hide.”

They looked at the map and found the stables and then a few trails that led up into the hills. They found two places Blaine could meet Kurt and then he left, slipping out the door and into the woods behind the cabins. He'd walk to the meeting place and wait for Kurt.

 

Down in the circle of cabins where they had the campfire last night, Kurt met up with a few of the campers. Mercy, Jeff, and Mike were going horseback riding along with a few others. Most of the kids were going to use the canoes today, so the woods by the stables would be kind of secluded Kurt hoped.

Just as they got ready, each taking a sack lunch prepared by the dining hall cooks, Trent showed up.

“Hey, I thought you were going on the hike to Pine Lake today,” Jeff asked.

“Nope, I decided to go ride horses with you guys,” he smiled. He got his sack lunch and then went back inside the dining hall, emerging with a second lunch.

“Hungry much? Jeff asked, looking at Trent, who was a little on the chunky side.

“Hey, I get hungry walking so much, I'm not used to this,” he blushed. The kids here teased a lot, but nobody was actually cruel like they were back in Lima.

They got going, singing and laughing. Mercy walked next to Kurt, taking his hand when the councilor told them to pair up. Trent came over and whispered in her ear and she looked at him for an instant, then let go.

“Trent wants to be your partner, he's too bashful to talk to the kids he doesn't know. Is that alright his time, Kurt?” she whispered to him.

“Okay, but we can be partners next time, right?” he asked her.

“Of course, Kurt,” Mercy said and gave him a big smile before walking back to take the hand of a shy blond girl in the back.

Trent walked next to Kurt, stumbling a little and Kurt grabbed him to keep him from falling. “Hey, there, careful,” Kurt said. 

“I hope you don't mind, being my partner, Kurt. I was too shy to ask that girl,” he confessed.

“No problem. Mercy was fine with it.”

They walked for quite a while and finally they were at the horse barn. The horses were already saddled and ready to go. The campers were asked who already knew how to ride and Kurt raised his hand. He'd never been near a horse in his life, but he didn't want anyone following him around.

“Okay, we'll pair you up with your horse and then you can be on your way. Stay on the trails and do not gallop the horses. The borders of the camp are fenced, so no need to worry, if you get lost just follow the trail back home. All the horses know where home is, so let them have their head and they'll bring you back,” the woman in charge of the horses told them with a grin.

Kurt was boosted up on a pretty palomino named Chance. Trent got a black one with white socks and blaze named Tuxedo. They started out and Kurt had no trouble steering the horse where he wanted it to go. Trent rode close to him until they were a ways away from the other riders and Kurt stopped.

“Trent, you don't have to go with me. I kind of want to be by myself for a little while. Nothing against you, but I need to be alone,” Kurt said in a kind voice. He was glad Mercy wasn't his partner for this because he didn't think he could get away from her as easily.

“I understand, but could I ride with you for just a few minutes?” Trent asked, his big baby blue eyes begging. Kurt wondered if he was afraid. He could understand that, and he felt sympathy for him, but he also needed to meet with Blaine.

“I'll leave when you ask me to, Kurt.”

“Okay.” Kurt got his map out of his pocket and looked at it for a moment, then turned his horse's head down another path, Trent following behind him.

They rode for a ways before Kurt pulled his horse to a stop and turned to Trent.

“Trent, don't think I don't like you, but...” he searched for words to say, but Trent spoke before he had thought of any.

“Kurt, quit worrying. I brought enough food for your stowaway, too. Let's go find him and we can look for a place to sit and talk away from the other campers,” Trent looked at Kurt, who was pale now.

“You...you know about Blaine?” Kurt asked.

“I was awake when he came into the cabin last night, and I saw him get out of the luggage compartment of the bus. He's lucky he didn't suffocate in that heat. He must really want to be with you, Kurt, to risk all of that. Don't worry, I know how to mind my own business, I won't tell anyone.” Trent smiled at Kurt and kicked his horse into a walk. 

They got close to the place where Blaine was waiting and didn't hear anything. Kurt was a little worried when he didn't see his friend, but Trent said Blaine was probably hiding because he was there, too.

“Blaine, can you hear me?” Kurt called, but nobody answered. Kurt was getting concerned. Blaine had left quite a bit before the campers had, so there was plenty of time for him to get here. Then he thought Trent was right, Blaine might think it was a trap.

“Piglet, it's okay, come out,” he said, using the pet name only a few people knew. The bushes rustled and Blaine stepped out.

“I thought we'd gotten caught, Kurt. You scared me. Who's this?” he asked, nodding his head at Trent.

“Trent. He saw you get off the bus and come into the cabin last night. Don't worry, he's a friend,” Kurt assured Blaine. They got off the horses and tied their reins securely to a tree.

Trent got the extra lunch and handed it to Blaine, and they sat down in the shade to eat. Trent proved to be a fountain of information about the camp, the staff, and horses in general.

“My dad has a string of polo ponies, I've been riding since I could sit in a saddle,” Trent grinned. 

They finished the food, drank from their canteens and Trent helped Blaine get up on the palomino with Kurt to ride double. He led the way to another set of trails that led in back of a hill where none of the other kids would be riding. It was a great day and the boys had a wonderful time. They got back to the stables, dropping Blaine off with a headstart home before getting back to the horse barn. The staff was getting the horses ready for a feed, stripping off their saddles, bridles, and rubbing them down. Trent talked with a few of the wranglers before joining Kurt to walk back to the cabins.

They were late getting to the barn, so all the other kids had left and Kurt and Trent caught up with Blaine part way home. They walked together, thinking Blaine would be hard to distinguish in the darkening sky. A few hundred yards from the cabins, Blaine left them to sneak into the cabin and hide before the others came home. Just like yesterday, the campers gathered around the campfire after dinner. It was dark before they all got back to the cabins.

Kurt smiled at Trent, silently thanking him for his help, and went to bed. It was just about twenty minutes after their councilor did the night check before Kurt heard Jeff's quiet snoring. Blaine slipped out from under the bunk and climbed into the bed beside Kurt. 

“That was fun, Kurt. I think I like summer camp,” he whispered. Kurt grinned. This was going to be a great summer.

 

Three weeks later, Kurt was sleeping and Blaine hadn't come in the cabin yet. It was just after lights out, so Trent wasn't too worried, but Blaine had only been this late once or twice. Kurt hadn't been feeling well that day, his throat was scratchy and his eyes were watering, and he had a slight fever. He though it was probably a cold coming on, so he'd gone to bed early.

After the councilor checked on them, Kurt dozed off again.

It was a good hour later when Blaine tiptoed into the cabin and Trent sneezed. That was their code for the coast is clear (meaning Mike and Jeff were sleeping) and Kurt was also asleep. Blaine was very quiet and placed his hand over Kurt's mouth gently so he didn't squawk when he woke up. Blaine climbed under the covers and Kurt hummed, indicating he was awake.

“Hey, you feel hot,” Blaine said. 

“I just have a cold coming on,” Kurt said, turning away from Blaine so he didn't share his germs.

Blaine gave Kurt a hug and they fell asleep. It was just a while later when Kurt screamed. Everyone in the cabin jumped up, including Jeff.

“Kurt?” Trent called, jumping out of bed and racing around the partition to see what happened. Kurt was sitting up in bed, Blaine's arms around him. Blaine was holding him, stroking his face and talking to him in a soft voice to calm him down.

“Kurt, what happened, and who are you?” Mike challenged.

“Shhhhhhh...” Trent said, taking Mike's arm. “Be quiet or the councilor will be in here!”

“What's wrong with that?” Mike asked, still looking at Kurt and Blaine.

Trent shushed Mike and looked up at Jeff, who didn't look at all surprised to see Blaine in Kurt's bed.

“First, are you okay, Kurt?” Trent asked and Kurt nodded.

“He has nightmares sometimes, “ Blaine explained. He gave Kurt a significant look and Kurt nodded to him. “He has dreams about his mother's grave. He falls into it and he can't get anyone to hear him, and they keep shoveling dirt on top of him.” Blaine whispered.  
The other boys looked sympathetic.

“But...who are you?” Mike asked again.

“I'm Kurt's best friend,” he answered, but Mike still looked confused.

“Do you remember the day we came and there were rumors about a stowaway on one of the buses?” Trent asked.

“Yeah,” Mike said, his face beginning to show recognition.

“Well, that was Blaine. He wanted to spend the summer with his best friend,” Trevor explained. 

“He's slept her since the first night,” Jeff said and everyone looked up at him. Kurt gave him a questioning look. “Hey. I sometimes wake up in the night and have to get a drink or something. I saw him, but figured it was Kurt's business. He doesn't tell my secrets.”

Kurt didn't. Jeff had sometimes had an accident in bed since he slept so soundly and Kurt had helped him change his sheets and sneak them into the camp laundry, but he never said a word to anyone about it. He smiled at Jeff.

“Okay...well, if I can help, let me know. Is that why you eat so much at meals? You're bringing it back here for Blaine?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, please don't tell anyone. Blaine could get into a lot of trouble,” Kurt pleaded. All of the boys agreed.

“You don't need to worry, Kurt, it's our secret. We won't tell. Plus we can all keep a lookout for trouble now, or bring Blaine something to eat,” Jeff said. They all put their hands together and Trent said, “All for one and one for all.”

 

Things went along fine after that, The four cabin-mates looked after Blaine and were able to sneak him on outings and include him in sports or other activities where they could do something with just the five of them. They got him into the movies by sitting around him in the dark theater, or took him horseback riding away from other kids. They went fishing in the canoes and walked in the woods. Everything was great. Until it wasn't.

 

The councilor knocked on the cabin door just after they went to bed one night. It was too early for a bed check, so Blaine skidded under the bed barely before the door was flung open. Trent and Jeff sat on Kurt's bed, their legs shielding Blaine from view. The councilor looked at Kurt.

“Come with me, you're wanted in the director's office,” he said and put a hand on Kurt;s shoulder to guide him to the office. Kurt was scared. Something must have happened to his dad. He was terrified. 

Blaine got out from under the bed and skinned out of the cabin. He went around the outside of the ring of cabins and crawled to the window of the director's office. He could hear what was going on. He was afraid something had happened to Burt, too, and he would be there if Kurt needed him. His safety was nothing compared with Kurt's needs, they were best friends.

“Kurt, you have a call from your father. We don't normally allow camper's to call their parents, but this is a serious matter. Come into my office and answer the phone, I'll be waiting out here if you need me. 

Kurt walked into the office, his knees shaking.

“Dad?”

“Kurt! How are you? Enjoying yourself?” his father's voice was strong and true.

“I'm fine, Dad, but why did you call?”

“There seems to be a bit of trouble here. I know you've been gone for six weeks, but you might have heard something that might help. Now I don't want you to worry, but Blaine is missing. Cooper is here and he thought Blaine had gone to France with his parents, but today he was speaking with his mother and she asked how Blaine was. She thought Blaine was home with Cooper all this time.”

Kurt swallowed. This was bad.

“We were just getting ready to call the police, Kurt. We're waiting to hear from Mr. Anderson, who has been traveling in Great Britain, to see if he had arranged something different for Blaine for the summer and just forgot to mention it to Mrs. Anderson.” Kurt could hear the disapproval in his father's voice. He was never a fan of the Andersons and they way they neglected Blaine.

“Dad, how upset is Cooper?” Kurt asked. Blaine heard that and jumped through the window and rushed over to Kurt, moving the telephone receiver so he could hear what Burt was saying.

“Kurt, he's pretty scared. He's blaming himself, his parents trusted him to take care of Blaine, and now we don't know what's happened,” Burt said.

Kurt looked at Blaine and Blaine whispered, “Tell him the truth. I knew it would never last,”

“Dad, Blaine is here with me,” Kurt said.

“What?” 

“He's here. He hid himself in the luggage compartment of the bus and came with me. I didn't know it until that night, but he's right here with me.”

Kurt could hear Burt speaking to Cooper and then he heard sobbing. He was beginning to feel really, really bad.

“Kurt, is he there in the room with you?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Put him on the phone,” Burt sounded upset.

“Ah...Mr. Hummel?” Blaine stuttered.

“Blaine, are you okay?” Burt asked.

“Yes, sir. I'm sorry I made you worry. I had it planned, we were going to be home three days before my parents, Nobody would have known I was gone. You can see that, it's been six weeks and they didn't even notice...” Blaine said, sounding so sad that Kurt put his arms around his friend's waist.

“That is not the point, Blaine. Now, speak to your brother for a minute while I think of what to do,” Burt sounded very shook up.

“Blainers?” Cooper said, trying to stop crying.

'Ah...Coop. I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to find out until I was back. I'm sorry, so sorry...” Blaine said, his own eyes filling with tears.

“Are you okay? Did you get enough to eat?” Cooper asked. “You little idiot, I'm punch you, it's what you deserve, but all I want is to hug you. Where is this camp?” Cooper asked.

“Ah, I don't know the address, but Burt will know.”

“Blaine, give the phone to Kurt,” he heard Burt's voice.

“Dad?”

“Kurt, go get the director so I can explain all of this to him. I am coming to get you. Keep Blaine in your sight, we'll be there in about two and a half hours.”

“Yes, Dad,” Kurt said, setting the phone down.

He turned to Blaine. “Dad and Cooper are coming to get us. I have to go get the director now,” Kurt said. He leaned forward and put his arms around his best friend. Blaine looked like he was in shock, but hugged Kurt back. “We'll get through this, Piglet, I promise. You know I'm always on your side.”

As Kurt walked out into the next room, Blaine could hear Kurt telling him that his dad wanted to speak to him. As soon as the director came back in, Kurt took Blaine's hand and walked back to his cabin. The director hadn't even noticed Blaine was not one of the official campers.

 

Kurt and Blaine said goodbye to their friends, packed their suitcase and waited for Burt and Cooper. The director came to the cabin and asked the boys to wait in the main office. They were almost out the door when they heard Trent say, “You two are going down as legends.” Blaine grinned.

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

The ride home with Burt and Cooper was quiet. Nobody knew what to say, so they kept silent. Kurt knew he was in trouble, he knew he should have told his father that Blaine was there instead of waiting until they were found out. He hung his head, feeling like he deserved to be punished.

Blaine sat in the back next to his brother. Cooper was so upset, he had started by yelling at Blaine and almost hit him. Only Burt's hand on his arm had stopped him. Now that he was calmed down he was thinking beyond how much trouble Blaine had always been to him. He was thinking about how scared he was when he didn't know where Blaine was. He had leaned over, scooting his little brother closer to him and held him in his arms all the way back to Lima. Blaine felt safe for the first time in his brother's embrace and perhaps for the first time ever, he knew his brother actually did love him.

Back at home, Kurt was grounded for the rest of the summer but he didn't mind. He had to spend it helping his dad at the garage, but he was happy to do it. He liked spending time with his dad, even though it was at the garage. 

Blaine was not punished. His parents were too busy and told Cooper to take care of it, and Cooper was too inexperienced to know how to deal with it. Burt felt so badly for Blaine, he told him that he was also grounded and would be spending the rest of the summer at the garage learning how to act like a responsible person right beside Kurt. 

 

That summer marked the best summer the boys had in all of their childhood, and Blaine was pretty much a full member of Burt's family after that. When they went to school in the fall they were pleasantly surprised to find Mercy, Mike, and Trent all in their school and they were proud when Mercedes told her new friend, Rachel Berry, the story of the stowaway. They had become legend.

 


	3. Twelve Years Old

**Kurt's House - November 2006**

  


 

  


Blaine stood in front of the door, shivering in the cold. He shouldn't be cold, he was dressed for the weather in warm flannel-lined levis, thick wool socks in his Frye boots, a black button-down with gold cuff links and a heavy cardigan under his Navy pea coat and cashmere scarf. He was dressed warmly, but he just could not shake the cold tendrils that snaked up his back and into his heart as he shook his head, trying to clear it before he entered his friend's house.

  


He gathered his courage and rang the doorbell.

  


 

  


“Blaine!” Kurt grinned at seeing his best friend at his door.

  


“Hey, Kurt. I'm sorry I'm so early, I hope it isn't a problem but Cooper was going out and offered me a ride. The buses don't run on holidays and it's a long way to walk in the snow...” Blaine tried to explain, but Kurt cut him off.

  


“No, Blaine, stop! It's perfectly fine you came early. I could use some help baking the pies. Not everyone likes pumpkin, so I offered to make apple and I need to get busy or it won't be done by supper time. Are you up to doing that?” Kurt asked, leaning his head on Blaine's shoulder to look up at him in his best begging puppy impersonation. Blaine giggled.

  


“Of course, just show me to the apron and we're golden!” While Blaine appeared to be friendly and happy to be with anyone, it was usually just on the surface. He appeared to have many friends and indeed he was very popular at school, but he was actually a very lonely boy with the exception of Kurt who was his very best friend in the world.

  


“You cannot possible cook in your best clothes, Blaine. Let's go up to my room and get you something comfortable to wear until we're done cooking, okay?” Kurt asked. He didn't wait for an answer, he just grabbed Blaine's hand and started up the stairs. Once in his room, Blaine sat down in the desk chair. Kurt rummaged through his drawers and found an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of relaxed-fit jeans for Blaine to change into. Blaine got up and began removing his clothes, but after taking off his shirt he looked nervously over at Kurt.

  


“I can finish in here, I'll meet you downstairs as soon as I'm done,” Blaine said, a little too casually. Kurt looked at his friend. They had seen each other just about every day of their lives for almost four years, in every situation and condition, so Kurt felt he knew Blaine pretty well, and he knew when something was wrong. 

  


“Okay, Blaine. Spill.” Kurt said, giving Blaine no chance to make up some lame excuse that Kurt would poke full of holes anyway.

  


“I can't talk about it. I will tell you if I can think of how...but not now, Kurt. We need to get the pies done. Cut me some slack, okay?” Blaine pleaded. He didn't hold out much hope that he could keep this from his best friend, but he could try for a while.

  


“Okay, I'll agree, but only until the apple pie is done, then we're going to discuss it.” Kurt laid down the law and Blaine nodded his head in agreement. Maybe by that time he could make something up that would sound plausible. Maybe.

  


They went to the kitchen and Kurt began to get out the ingredients. Blaine got out the tools, having cooked with Kurt for so long he knew where it was all kept. He had been there last year the day Kurt came into the kitchen and found his grandmother collapsed on the kitchen floor. He had dialed the ambulance while Kurt tried to wake her up, but she was gone. A heart attack the doctor said. After that, Kurt didn't want to cook in the kitchen any more.

  


Blaine had been sympathetic for a while, but Kurt was not getting any better, so he'd gone to Kurt's dad and asked permission to redo the kitchen and together Blaine and Kurt had packed everything up while the workmen put in new cabinets and painted the walls. Where the kitchen had been bitter orange, harvest gold, and avocado green, reflecting when it had last been refurbished in the last 1960's. Kurt and Blaine had designed the new one with stainless steel appliances and the walls a shade of pale blue with bright red accents. The floor was a checkerboard black and white and the table and chairs were right from the 1950's with chrome everywhere. Kurt had no idea where Blaine had found it, but he showed up with two movers one day hauling a cherry red porcelain sink in to replace the old white enamel one. 

  


The new kitchen had an island with a built-in stove top and the counters were all white Corian. Kurt had loved it, even making curtains with cherries in the trimming. While Kurt still missed his beloved grandmother, it was easier for him to take over the cooking duties now that it was not the same kitchen. 

  


The boys made the pies, checked once more on the turkey and dressing, checked off the list of food for the Thanksgiving dinner. Everything was ready, so Kurt led the way down the stairs to have a talk with Blaine. He was determined to get the truth out of him this time and so he sat on the bed and patted the mattress beside him for Blaine to sit down, which he did after shedding his boots.

  


“Well?” Kurt started, knowing Blaine would understand what he meant. The two boys were so close that just a word was necessary for Kurt to communicate the idea to Blaine. Blaine hung his head.

  


“Kurt, let me start by asking if you...if you have any thoughts about how things are going to go when you start dating?” Blaine asked. 

  


“Not really in detail, just a vague idea, why?” Kurt asked. He had actually been thinking about that very thing for months now, but it was too scary to talk to Blaine about yet.

  


“I hadn't much either. Until a few days ago. Kurt? Do you think I might be different than other boys?” he asked, still staying in neutral territory. 

  


“In what way?”

  


“In...well.....just any way. Am I different in a way that the kids we know might notice?” Blaine asked again.

  


“No. Well, yes in some ways, but those are like the fact that you are smarter and kinder than any of them,” Kurt smiled at Blaine. Maybe he was feeling insecure?

  


“Okay, if I tell you something about myself, something I'm still not even sure about, you won't judge me, will you? No matter how awful it is, we will still be friends, right?” Blaine asked, a deadly serious look on his face. “I mean, well, we always agreed we would be friends forever, no matter what comes between us. Promise me, Kurt, that you still feel that way?” Blaine's voice shook as he pushed the reluctant words from his mouth to fall on Kurt's ear. Kurt could plainly see that the secret was pulling his friend apart and truly, Kurt could forgive anything for Blaine. He wanted Blaine to be his friend until the end of time.

  


Kurt put his arm around his friend and held on.

  


“Tell me, Blaine. It can't be that awful, can it?”

  


“Yeah, Kurt, it can. I am so ashamed,” he said as he hid his face in his arms as he pulled his knees up into his chest.

  


Kurt just sat for a while, patting Blaine's shoulder, taking his hand to hold tightly.

  


“Tell me, Blaine. Trust me, you know we are best friends forever,” Kurt said.

  


“It happened a few days ago,” Blaine started. He sighed deeply and Kurt scooted closer and put both of his arms around Blaine's shoulders. “I was in the basement changing the laundry. I had to wash my sheets because I spilled a bowl of onion dip on them when I was eating chips and watching TV. I heard someone in the hallway and when I turned to see who it was, the lights went out. I started to panic, trying to feel my way to the wall – you know there are no windows in that part of the basement.” Blaine explained, disentangling himself and then got up abruptly and walked to the bathroom. He returned with a glass of water, sipping it slowly before getting back on the bed. Kurt could tell that he had washed his hands, they looked chapped like he'd been washing them a lot.

  


“It was kind of scary, but I just figured the storm had knocked out the power and I was thinking about where the candles and matches were kept. I was feeling my way along the wall when the person grabbed me from behind and duct taped my hands together.”

  


Blaine sat still for a while, his head resting on his knees that were huddled up against him. His arms were clutched around his legs.

  


“I know you want to ask me why I didn't fight it, but honestly I was so surprised I didn't even think about it until it was too late. Then a piece of duct tape was over my mouth and I couldn't scream any more. All I could hear was a girl laughing. She sounded drunk. Kurt, I was terrified,” Blaine admitted, and got up to pace back and forth across the bedroom. He sat back down next to Kurt. He curled closer to his friend and Kurt put his arm back around Blaine.

  


“I was tripped when someone hooked my ankle with their foot and I fell to the floor. I was trying to figure out where I was exactly when the person pulled my shirt up and started....oh, you're never going to believe this, but licking my nipples,” Blaine said in a whisper in spite of the fact that they were alone in Kurt's bedroom. 

  


“I knew it was a girl, I could smell her perfume and I knew I'd smelled it before. Then she undid my belt and unzipped my jeans, pulling them half way down my legs, and finally she did the same with my briefs. I was sitting on the floor of the basement with my pants half-way off and I couldn't see.”

  


“Oh, my god, Blaine, weren't you scared?” Kurt asked, his hand seeking out Blaine's hand once again and holding on for dear life.

  


“I was terrified. I mean, all kinds of things went through my head, each thing worse than the last one. It was awful, but it got worse. She put her tongue...ah, I can't say it.” Blaine sat there beside Kurt, shaking. He wanted to tell Kurt, but it was getting hard to speak. 

  


“Maybe we can talk later?” Blaine asked.

  


“No, you need to get this off your chest, Blaine, and you know you can trust me, right?” Kurt asked, looking into Blaine's big brown eyes. The boy just sat there, Kurt holding him and humming a tune to try and calm him. He could feel Blaine shaking and felt so much pity for him, he was scared and upset, and who knew what else.

  


“Hey, hey, Blaine. Come on and let it all out. What are you afraid of?” Kurt asked. He thought he knew where this was going and he felt so badly for his friend. He was gathering his courage in his mind, knowing he would have to stand strong for Blaine. Their friends had no idea that Blaine was not the happy-go-lucky kid he appeared to be. Kurt knew the truth, he knew Blaine had nightmares and slept with a charm on a necklace in his hand to ward off the things that scared him in the dark nights. 

  


“Kurt, she... put her hand around my...parts...and rubbed me. I didn't want her to, I felt like I was going to vomit. She wouldn't stop. I couldn't get away from her, and she held me down and made me....ah...finish. I couldn't get away and it was all over me, hot and sticky and messy. Then she laughed at me and said awful things about me,” Blaine's eyes were closed and he turned his head so Kurt couldn't see his face. 

  


“I was so scared. I thought I was going to choke, I couldn't breathe. She finally took the tape off of my mouth and as soon as she did, I threw up on her. She left me tied up and ran down the hallway and I could hear her feet as she ran up the basement steps. It was dark, so I never saw her face, and she disguised her voice, but I know who it was, I smelled her perfume.”

  


 

  


There, it was all out there and nothing bad had happened yet. Blaine dared to open his eyes and slowly turned his head back so he could see his friend. Kurt was still there, still holding him, still humming the tune in his ear to calm him. All Blaine could think was that Kurt hadn't run away, hadn't made a face or pushed him away. He had been right to trust Kurt, they were best friends after all.

  


“Kurt, I'm scared to go home. I don't want to be there alone again. I can't tell my parents, they would never believe me.”

  


“I'll think of something, I promise. In the mean time, I'll ask Dad if you can stay for a few days. We don't have school until the second week of January and your parents are gone until...??”

  


“February. They said they might be home for my birthday.”

  


“Okay, I'll fix something, you can't be there any more if it isn't safe.”

  


Kurt didn't ask why Blaine didn't go to the police, Blaine said he knew the person that did this, so maybe he could stay with the Hummels for a while. 

  


“What about Cooper? Isn't he supposed to be watching over you? We can tell him and he can keep you safe,” Kurt thought out loud. Blaine got very quiet and turned his head.

  


“Blaine, what is it?” Kurt asked, but he was beginning to think he knew. 

  


“Kurt, Cooper can't know. Ever. Okay? He would never believe me. It would only make him hate me even more than he already does.”

  


“Blaine, tell me who it was,” Kurt asked in a quiet voice while he was gently coaxing Blaine to rest his head on his chest. Blaine didn't say anything.

  


“It was Jenn, wasn't it?” 

  


Blaine didn't speak.

  


“Okay, you don't have to tell me, but Blaine - it wasn't your fault. She is sick, it wasn't anything you did. I'll see if you can stay here,” Kurt promised. “Now, lie down and let me rub your back. Just rest for a while, there's plenty of time before dinner. Do you want to watch a movie?”

  


“Yeah...Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. That's my favorite Thanksgiving movie,” Blaine smiled a small, trembling smile. Just being with his friend made him feel better. Kurt got him to lie down and set the laptop on the blanket chest at the end of the bed. Blaine was propped up on his forearms and Kurt pulled Blaine's shirt off and began massaging his friend's shoulders. He moved down his back and by the time Kurt had gotten to his arms, Blaine was sound asleep.

  


 

  


_Downstairs an hour later:_

  


“Dad? I have a big problem and you always told me to come to you with things I couldn't figure out for myself, right?” Kurt asked, sitting on the sofa with his father. Burt was watching a football game and Kurt was leaning back against his dad, Burt's arm around him.

  


“Sure Kurt, what's up, buddy?” Burt asked, the game already forgotten when he saw the look of fear and sadness on Kurt's face. “Where's Blaine?”

  


“Asleep on my bed. I guess he was tired.”

  


“Okay, kiddo, what's going on?”

  


“What if I knew someone that was in a place that was no longer safe for him. I don't think I can do anything to change the circumstances of where he lives, but I can't just sit by and watch bad things keep happening to him,” Kurt told his dad. 

  


“Maybe I can talk to this person's parents?” Burt offered, getting concerned.

  


“They aren't there. They're out of town for a while on a business trip,” Kurt said, trying to imagine what it would be like to have parents gone for months at a time, then imagining it all too clearly.

  


“Is this Blaine we're talking about?” Burt asked, although he knew it was. Not much went on that Kurt didn't mention about his best friend.

  


“Yeah. I didn't get his permission to talk about it with you, but this time it seems too serious to wait,” Kurt said.

  


“Can you tell me what happened to him?”

  


“No, he wouldn't want me to, but it's bad. He's scared to be in that house, Dad. He was shaking and crying and wouldn't even tell me exactly what was going on,” Kurt said.

  


“Is it Cooper?”

  


“No. But he didn't want Cooper to know. Dad, I have to do something. Maybe I can stay over there with him for a while?” Kurt asked, hoping that Burt would see how much Blaine needed him.

  


“Kurt, if it isn't safe for Blaine, I can't let you go there. I can't let you be in an unsafe place, son.”

  


“Oh, well, I had to ask.”

  


“Kurt, I think we can make a place for him to stay here. I think that would keep him safe and I'd feel better if I could keep an eye on him. Do you think he'd do that?” Burt proposed.

  


“I'll go ask him,” Kurt smiled a sad little smile at his dad. “Thank you, Dad. I love you.”

  


“I love you, too, Kiddo.”

  


 

  


Blaine was sleeping for the first time in days, all the terrible thoughts being kept at bay for now. He was so tired from having to be half awake in his house, not knowing if she was coming back, if she would come into his room again. He was scared to tell anyone, he knew they would make fun of him for not wanting a girl to have sex with him. It wasn't like that, though, they would never understand. 

  


He was waking up, he knew he was because suddenly he could smell roasting turkey, cinnamon, sage, and all the scents he associated with Thanksgiving. He was actually very thankful this year. He was part of a family gathering with people he knew and loved, even if it wasn't his family. A smile crossed his face and he opened his eyes. 

  


“Hey, sleepyhead. Have a nice nap?” Kurt asked.

  


“Yeah...how long did I sleep? Blaine asked.

  


“About three hours. You looked so tired, I figured you needed it.”

  


“I haven't been sleeping very well, that's true. Thanks, Kurt.”

  


“Hey, we're going over to your house after dinner to pack some of your stuff. I spoke to Dad and he says you can stay here with us until your parents get back from Japan,” Kurt told his friend.

  


“That isn't until February, I can't be here that much time,” Blaine said, but he wondered if he really could. Walking around the big empty house across town was getting to be a scary thing. He knew he shouldn't be afraid, the girl hadn't actually hurt him, it was just....he didn't know how to think about it. He remembered the awful feeling of panic, then vomiting when she pulled the tape from his mouth. He'd worked his pocket knife from his jeans and cut the tape enough to tear it off, then ran to his room, locking the door and running the hottest shower he could. It didn't help, no matter how much he scrubbed and scrubbed his skin it still felt dirty. 

  


He took the clothes he was wearing and put them in a bag, throwing it into the trash can and burning them in the back yard. Even that didn't make it go away. 

  


Then after two weeks of feeling awful, he finally had to tell someone. It was eating him alive, he couldn't think properly or concentrate. He found things to do away from home so he didn't have to talk to Cooper because when he did, he felt guilty. He hadn't talked to Jenn since that day. If Cooper was bringing her over, Blaine either went to Kurt's or the library. He walked in the park until late at night, then crept in the back door and up the back stairs to lie shivering in his bed behind his locked door. Even Cooper noticed and asked him if he was sick or something.

  


It got so bad he stopped looking in the mirror, stopped fixing his hair other than to comb it and when he stopped eating Cooper came to talk to him one morning. Coop had been with Jenn the night before and when Blaine smelled her perfume on his brother, he barely made it to the bathroom to lose what little food was left in his belly. He told Cooper he had the flu and his brother made him chicken soup for lunch and brought him ginger ale. 

  


All of Cooper's caring and pampering would stop once he found out what happened, so Blaine didn't tell him. On Thanksgiving morning he couldn't take it any more. He hitched a ride over to Kurt's house with Coop and told his best friend. Kurt was the only one that he could talk to and it was such a relief to spill it all out that he'd fallen asleep.

  


 

  


“Let's go down and get the table set. Rachel and her dads are coming and Mercedes and her mom, too. Are you going to be okay, Blaine?” Kurt asked seriously.

  


“Yeah, as long as you're there, Kurt. You're my best friend,” Blaine said and Kurt gave him a hug. He hoped Blaine would be okay.

  


 

  


After dinner, Burt drove Blaine to his house and he and Kurt went up to his room to pack some things: toothbrush, pajamas, enough clothes to last a while. Cooper didn't come home so Blaine left him a note to say where he was. They left a while later, not looking back. 

  


At Kurt's house, Burt called Blaine into the den to talk to him.

  


“Hey, kid. Kurt told me you aren't comfortable with being alone in your house. He said you weren't safe. Now he didn't tell me anything else, but if you need help I'm here. Hey, you are one of our family, or at least I think of you as another son to me. If you want to talk or anything, I'll listen. I won't push you to tell me anything, but I'll listen. Do you understand?” Burt asked and Blaine sat with his head down. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want Burt to know what happened to him, he was so ashamed of it, but it felt so good to know that Burt cared, that he considered Blaine one of his family.

  


“Thank you, Mr. Hummel. I appreciate it so much. I get an allowance, so I can pay you back. Or I can work, I learned a lot in the garage working for you two summers ago. I can shovel snow or anything, just let me pay you back somehow. It isn't right if I don't pay my own way,” Blaine blurted out. 

  


“Okay, son. You can take over some of Kurt's chores. I'd appreciate the help. You're a good kid, Blaine, and I'm glad to have you here. Now, get to bed. I'll be downstairs in a few minutes to tuck you two in.”

  


 

  


Blaine ran down the basement stairs, so relieved he would be here. Kurt was in the bathroom taking a shower, so Blaine got ready for bed. He'd take his shower in the morning. He got out a movie from his suitcase and popped it into the player. He and Kurt usually watched a movie on the nights he stayed over. He had a scary one tonight. He'd just bought The Descent

  


and it looked like it would be good. 

  


There were two beds in the room, one twin bed on the east wall and Kurt's queen sized one on the west. They usually watched a movie sitting on Kurt's bed, the television was closer. Blaine was sitting cross-legged on the bed when Kurt came out, wrapped in a fluffy white robe.

  


“Hey, got a movie picked out?” he asked and Blaine grinned at him.

  


“Yeah, you're going to love this.”

  


Kurt slipped his robe off and got his pajamas out, putting them on as the two boys talked. Kurt got into bed next to Blaine and they laid down on their stomachs, resting on their elbows with their chins in their hands. Blaine hit 'play' and the movie started, Kurt turned out the lights.

  


About halfway into the movie, it was getting scarier and scarier, the boys were practically in each other's laps, hands over their eyes or holding hands. When the heroine fell down the hole and broke her leg, the scary guy following her, Kurt hid his face in Blaine's neck, not daring to look. Probably neither boy saw the end of the movie, they were both so scared.

  


“What made you buy such an awful movie, Blaine?” Kurt asked. Blaine just smiled.

  


“I thought you liked scary movies! You always pick them to go see when we go to the movies.”

  


Kurt didn't want to say it, but he usually picked scary ones because he liked holding Blaine's hand when the movie got scary. He knew that wasn't really acceptable, but it was okay if it was at a scary movie. 

  


“Let's get to bed. I want to go to the mall in the morning and the stores open early. I want to get all my Christmas shopping done,” Kurt said to cover why he didn't answer the last question.

  


“Sounds good. Good night, Pooh-bear. And....thank you for understanding why I didn't want to stay at my house. Thanks for asking your dad,” Blaine said, really grateful. 

  


“No problem, Piglet. Good night.”

  


 

  


Blaine was asleep in the smaller bed, tossing and turning. He thought having a different bed to sleep in might make the dreams stop, but he kept having the worst one - the one where he was tied up and hands came at him, but he couldn't stop them no matter how much he struggled or screamed and nobody came. He was just going through it for the third time when he felt hands on his shoulders. He sat up in bed, groggy from sleep and burst into tears, still so scared.

  


“Hey, hey, now..it's okay, Blaine. I'm here for you. I won't let anyone hurt you, Piglet. I'm here...” Kurt said. He put his arms around Blaine to stop his shaking. “Hey, calm down. Come here,” he coaxed and Blaine put his arms around Kurt. 

  


“Oh? Oh, Kurt. It was awful. I was tied up again and I couldn't move and I could smell her perfume...I was going to hurl, but my mouth was sewn shut...” he was shaking. 

  


“Come with me, Blaine,” Kurt said and took his hand, leading him to his own bed. Kurt climbed in and flapped the covers back, patting the space next to himself. Blaine gladly climbed in next to Kurt, and turned his back. Kurt scooted close and put his arms around his friend, holding him close. He hummed the lullaby from Tarzan, and felt relieved when Blaine relaxed.

  


“Hey, you're going to be okay, Blaine. I won't let anything hurt you, you're my best friend,” he said.

  


The sound of Kurt's soft voice was a comfort to Blaine and he believed him when he said he would keep him safe. He melted into Kurt's embrace, knowing he would be able to sleep now. Blaine had a lot of things in his life to be afraid of, some physical but most emotional. He worried a lot that there was something wrong with him, some reason his parents didn't like him, his own brother didn't care about him. He tried so hard to make them proud, but nothing he did seemed to matter. They said they loved him, and it was true that Cooper had been more attentive, talked to him and taking him places after he ran away to Kurt's summer camp two years ago, but it didn't last. He was still a burden on Cooper and Cooper wasn't afraid to remind him. Maybe living with the Hummels would make Cooper miss him. Only time would tell. 

  


 

  


Morning came and Blaine was awake at six. His legs were tangled with Kurt's and their fingers were laced together. Blaine's head was cradled on Kurt's neck, his arm holding him close. Did they sleep that way all night? He didn't want Kurt to think he was creepy, so he tried to move before Kurt woke up, but Kurt's reaction was to hold him tighter.

  


He had to move soon. He was trying to squirm away so Kurt didn't feel his morning erection. He'd been getting them for almost a year and it was one thing he felt like he couldn't mention to Kurt. He liked sleeping curled up together ever since the summer he stowed away to camp and hid in Kurt's cabin, and Kurt seemed to like it, too since they always ended up together when Blaine stayed over. 

  


He knew what was going on, why his body was doing this. They saw a film in school and Cooper told him, too. He knew it was natural, and he knew what to do to take care of it, but he could hardly do that in Kurt's house. He was thinking of a way to get rid of it or to get away from Kurt for a little while when his bedfellow moved. Oh...well, Kurt would understand after all, Blaine thought when he felt Kurt's hard morning erection rubbing against his hip.

  


“Hey, Kurt, let go...I have to use the bathroom,” Blaine said, pushing Kurt a little to get loose, He got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He heard Kurt get up and walk down the hallway to use the other bathroom. 

  


Just a few minutes later the two were back in the bedroom, both blushing furiously, but they got dressed with no awkward words and were ready to have breakfast and walk to the mall by six thirty.

  


 

  


“Hey, Blaine, I was just wondering...” Kurt started to say, but his voice ran out. He had been turning over questions in his mind, and he didn't want to ask anything that would upset him.

  


Blaine looked over at Kurt. They were walking down the street, on their way to the mall to do some Christmas shopping, stopping to throw a snowball at each other once in a while. 

  


“Yeah?” Blaine said.

  


“Never mind.”

  


“No, you were going to ask me something, what was it?”

  


“I...I don't remember now,” Kurt stuttered. He had totally chickened out. 

  


“Kurt, just ask me. If I don't want to talk about it, I'll tell you. Since when are you afraid to ask me something?”

  


“I'm sorry, Blaine. It was none of my business. I just blurted that out, but now I'm sorry. Let's just change the subject, okay?” Kurt said, blushing just a bit because he knew he fucked up.

  


They walked for another block, watching the cars go by. Blaine saw an old lady trying to shovel her walk and gave Kurt a look. Kurt nodded back and they stopped and finished shoveling for the woman, refusing any money as they went on their way.

  


“Kurt, just ask me. Now I can't get it out of my head, so let's get it over with,” Blaine whined.

  


“Okay, but you don't have to answer me if you don't want to and I'll understand,”

  


“Deal.”

  


“What did it feel like? I mean when she...when she put her mouth on you?” Kurt asked, blushing deep red this time.

  


Blaine just kept walking, not looking at Kurt.

  


“Hey, I'm sorry. That was so inappropriate. I shouldn't have asked,” Kurt apologized.

  


“No, it's okay. I was just trying to think. I was so scared, it kind of didn't feel like anything at first. I didn't want it to feel like anything, I wanted to get away. Then she...well, when she had all of me in her mouth it did feel good. That was probably the worst part of it. I didn't want it to feel good, Kurt, but she wasn't letting go. She was saying all these dirty things right before and I kept trying not to think about those, then I couldn't ignore what she was doing to me,” Blaine had a sick look on his face.

  


“You don't have to say anymore, Blaine. I'm sorry, I should never have brought it up,” Kurt said, ashamed of himself.

  


“No, I think it's good you did. I keep thinking about it, about how I could have gotten away or fought harder. Was it my fault? I don't know. Maybe I said something to her?” he rambled on, thinking aloud all the things he'd been holding in his mind since it happened.

  


“I might not know a lot, Blaine, but I know for dead certain you did not bring this on yourself. It was not your fault. Okay?” Kurt told his friend.

  


“But? She must have thought there was a reason to pick me. Wasn't Cooper giving her what she needed? They are all over each other, all the time, I don't know why she needed me.”

  


“I think she's just sick, Blaine. Sick in the head. Maybe we should go to the police. If she did this to you, maybe she did it to other kids, too. Or maybe we can stop her from doing it to anyone else. Don't you think?” Kurt asked, trying not to look at Blaine in case he was still feeling bad.

  


“I don't know. I think Cooper would kill me. I don't know if it's worth it, you know what happens to people who tell – I've read about it. Especially because I'm a boy, nobody will believe me,” Blaine said, sounding resigned. “It was...I don't know how to say this, Kurt.” Blaine was crying now and Kurt felt awful. He steered Blaine to the park and cleared the snow off a bench deep in the trees where they were sheltered from the street.

  


“Just spill it all out, Blaine. There's nobody here but me, and you know I will understand. We're best friends and I always have your back, I'm always on your side. Now, tell me,” Kurt said, holding Blaine's hand to make him feel better.

  


“I didn't want it, I was scared..but after a few minutes, Kurt, it felt good. You ...well, have you ever done it to yourself? Jerked off?” Blaine asked.

  


“Yeah.”

  


“Then you know what it feels like. There's the point that you get to that you just wouldn't be able to stop. Even if you hadn't meant to get there, even if you know you should stop, you're past that place and you know you have to finish. Well, it was like that. I hated it, but I wanted it, too. If she could tell that I wanted it, then maybe she wasn't wrong? Maybe I did somehow let her know I wanted her to do that. It was like jerking off, but at the same time, it wasn't. It was...I don't know? Better? It was warmer and wetter, and I felt...different. Maybe it was my fault,” Blaine put his feet up on the bench to curl his arms around his legs. He put his forehead on his knees and closed his eyes. He was so tired of thinking about this.

  


“Blaine, let me ask you something, okay?' Kurt put a hand on his friends back.

  


“Yeah?” Blaine grumbled.

  


“If you wanted this so badly, why did you hurl when she was done?” he asked gently.

  


Blaine didn't move. He hadn't thought about that. He had vomited as soon as the tape was off of his mouth, but he'd wanted to do it the whole time. He'd been panicked that he might vomit while the tape was still on his mouth and he would choke to death. He started to shake then, leaning closer to Kurt and he couldn't stop the trembling in his legs and it spread to his arms and soon he was just shaking all over, crying into Kurt's shoulder.

  


“It's okay, Blaine. Let it out. This was not your fault. It was wrong for her to do that and no matter what you might have said or done, you did not deserve to be raped.”

  


“Raped? No, she didn't...” Blaine started to say, but stopped. That was what he felt like happened. She might not have stuck a cock inside him, but what she did was the same thing. He looked at Kurt. What was he to do now?

  


“Blaine, it's going to be okay. You can talk to my dad if you want, you know he thinks about you like you're his own kid. Would that be better for you?”

  


“No. Talking to you helps, though. You don't blame me, and that's all I care about right now. C-c-can you just hold me?” Blaine begged, clutching on to his friend.

  


“Sure, Blaine. Sure.” he said, holding Blaine tightly around his waist, then unbuttoning his coat so Blaine could put his head on Kurt's chest to hear his heart beat. They stayed that way for a long time, until Blaine had stopped shaking and Kurt had felt able to let go without Blaine flying into a million pieces.

  


“Are you feeling better now?” Kurt asked, looking deep into Blaine's eyes. 

  


“Yeah, I am. We can go ahead to the mall now, I'll be okay,” Blaine said, starting to get up.

  


“I think we should go back to the house. We can make cookies or something and watch a movie. I don't need to go shopping and I think you might need to rest?” Kurt asked.

  


“Okay. Cookies and a movie sound good. Thanks for being there for me, Kurt.”

  


 

  


 

  


It was the beginning of Christmas break at school and the boys were once more snowed in at the Hummel house. Burt had braved the drifts and gone out that morning to work. He had a tow truck at the shop and usually made enough to buy some nice Christmas presents if it snowed a lot before Christmas. 

  


“Hey, what do you think we should get your dad for Christmas?” Blaine asked Kurt as they finished breakfast and were doing the dishes.

  


“I would love to get him some new clothes...not flannel!” Kurt smirked. Everyone knew all Burt ever wore were plaid flannel shirts and blue jeans.

  


“No, I'm serious. I want to get him something really great. He's always been there for me and he's not even my dad. I want to say thank you in a big way,” Blaine said, a shy smile on his face.

  


“I'll help you think about it. I got him a subscription to Popular Mechanics and some new clothes. He's kind of hard to buy for,” Kurt groaned. He never knew what to get his dad.

  


“What do you want, Kurt?” Blaine asked, smiling a much brighter smile at his friend.

  


“Hmmm...I'll have to think about it. Maybe some new music?” he said and Blaine smiled.

  


“There's too much snow out there now, let's just stay in and bake cookies again. We can watch a Christmas movie,” Blaine thought.

  


“Okay, but it can't be the one you always want to watch...that isn't even a Christmas movie!” Kurt snorted.

  


“Hey, don't say _Die Hard_ isn't a Christmas movie!! It is. John McLain is at his wife's office Christmas party, isn't he? That makes it a Christmas movie.” Blaine's lower lip came out in a pout. Kurt rolled his eyes.

  


“All right. We can watch it. But if you get to pick that one, I get to see _White Christmas_!

  


“Kurt, we've watched _White Christmas_ three times already this week,” Blaine said with a sigh. Normally they liked the same movies, but in this case....

  


“Okay, we can watch _Die Hard_. But I get to pick tomorrow, all right?” Kurt said, drawing a finger down Blaine's chest.

  


“Deal.”

  


 

  


Later the boys had eaten lunch and were sprawled on the sofa in the den watching Bruce Willis pick glass out of his feet and swing from elevator cables. Kurt was burying his head in Blaine's chest every time a violent scene came on. It never crossed his mind that this was the reason Blaine liked the movie so much having Kurt so close to him. 

  


“Is it over?” Kurt's muffled voice came from somewhere in the vicinity of Blaine's chest, a blanket covering his head.

  


“No, I'll tell you,” Blaine lied. The scene was over, but he wanted Kurt to stay close a few more minutes. He wondered if it was weird, he didn't see other guys touch each other so much, even guys that were close friends like Mike and Finn. Of course, Puck touched everybody, but he was an entity unto himself – that boy never stopped touching people, usually inappropriately. Blaine tried to repress a giggle as he thought of last week at school when Puck had slid his hand up Rachel Berry's dress, just to the top of her thigh, but the window-shattering scream that she unleashed! Wow. Blaine was giggling again.

  


“Hey, what's so funny?” Kurt asked, coming up for air.

  


“I was thinking about Puck and Rachel in the lunchroom last week. I never heard anything that loud that wasn't on train tracks. Wow, that girl has a steam whistle.” Blaine grinned at Kurt, but got a glare in return.

  


“I didn't find that funny in the least. Poor Rachel, she was traumatized. Puck's lucky she was too upset to tell the dean, he might have gotten expelled,” Kurt huffed.

  


“Oh, come on, you know Puck's harmless. He would never do anything that would go too far. He was teasing her,” Blaine said, surprised at Kurt's anger.

  


“Blaine, it was too far. Rachel was crying in the girl's room later. You of all people should understand that,” Kurt said.

  


Blaine froze. Kurt was right, and now he felt terrible. He'd laughed with the rest of the guys at the table, not thinking that it would upset Rachel so much. He liked Rachel, he wouldn't want her to feel as bad as he did. He turned back to Kurt, tears threatening.

  


“I didn't think about that, Kurt. Oh, now I feel terrible. I should have done something...” Blaine was the picture of sadness.

  


“No, it's okay. I sat with her for a while. I think she was more surprised than angry. I made sure she was all right before I left her, so no worries,” Kurt soothed his friend.

  


“Well, in that case. I'll be nice to her when I see her again. I can't believe I was that stupid...” Blaine said with remorse.

  


“Let's go get something to eat, I'm hungry,” Kurt offered to get Blaine's mind off of it. He noticed Blaine was easily upset these days. He had spoken about his ordeal to Kurt a few times, but steadfastly refused to talk to the police or to Burt. Kurt thought time would change his mind, so he just made sure Blaine knew he was available.

  


 

  


Sitting in the kitchen while Blaine dished up the ice cream, Kurt idly played with the fork and spoon that were on the table. He put the tines of the fork on the end of the spoon and balanced them on the metal straw in the glass in front of him. It was just something to do with his hands while he sat there, thinking about clearing up the dishes from lunch before his dad got home at six.

  


“Whattcha doin'?” Blaine asked, watching as Kurt played with the utensils.

  


“Nothing. I was just thinking about stuff. Nothing important,” Kurt said. Blaine looked over at Kurt and caught a melancholy look in his eye. Then he almost smacked himself in the face. He knew what was wrong. It happened around this time every year. Kurt was missing his mother. Blaine came and set the dish of ice cream in front of him, sitting beside Kurt instead of across from him at the table.

  


“Penny for your thoughts,” Blaine said. 

  


“Ah...I wasn't really thinking of anything, just waiting for the ice cream,” Kurt said.

  


“I was thinking...it's getting close to Christmas and your dad is working such long hours, how about if we get out all the Christmas decorations and set them up and surprise him?” Blaine asked.

  


Kurt's eyes sparkled.

  


“That is a wonderful idea! We can go up in the attic this afternoon, I know where Dad keeps them. Oh, Blaine, that is a great idea!” Kurt looked so happy, Blaine was proud of himself.

  


 

  


After they ate the ice cream, Blaine called his brother. Cooper had a jeep and didn't have any problems in the snow. Blaine had spoken to him last night and he didn't have to work today, so he got him to come over and they went to pick out a tree.

  


“Hey, Squirt, how tall?” Cooper asked when they got to the tree nursery.

  


“It has to be at least six feet. I want it to fill the front window so Burt sees it when he comes home tonight,” Blaine said, Kurt nodding in agreement. The three boys walked all over and finally found the perfect tree. They took it over to the man to pay for it and as both Kurt and Blaine reached for their wallets, Cooper handed the man his credit card.

  


“This one's on me, guys. I want you to have a good Christmas this year.”

  


“Cooper, you'll be there, you know we invited you last week,” Kurt said, smiling at his friend's brother.

  


“Yeah, of course I'll be there. Thank your dad for me, Kurt, it was nice of him to include me.”

  


“You're family, Cooper. I hope you realize that,” Kurt smiled. Blaine got a warm feeling all through his body at those words. He had a family, but it never felt like one, he always found that the Hummels were more of a family to him than his own.

  


“I do, Kurt. Thank you. Now, let's get this tied on the jeep and get it home,” Cooper said, lifting the tree.

  


 

  


“Are you coming in to help decorate?” Kurt asked.

  


“No, not this time. I need to be somewhere,” Cooper said, looking sober...almost sad but determined.

  


“Where is that?” Blaine asked. He would really like to have his brother decorate the tree with them.

  


“Ah...well, it's that I have to go see Jenn. I'm breaking up with her. We had a fight last week and another one yesterday. I just can't keep doing this, she is...I don't know. Acting funny. I don't know what's wrong with her. I'm going to go pick her up and have a talk with her, but I'm pretty sure we're not going to be a couple any more.” Cooper looked wrecked.

  


Blaine hugged him, not saying anything.

  


“Call us if you don't want to be alone later, Coop,” Kurt said, patting the older boy on the arm before he got in his jeep and took off.

  


 

  


“You okay, Blaine?” Kurt asked, his eyes on his friend's face.

  


“Yeah. I hate to say it, but I'm glad they're breaking up. Now I never have to tell him what Jenn did,” Blaine whispered. Kurt put his arms around Blaine and held him close. 

  


“Let's go get the ornaments,” Blaine said, shaking his head a little to clear the memories. He was determined to have a good time now.

  


They set up the tree, putting it in the front window. Then they went up to the attic. 

  


“Are you sure you know where they are?” Blaine asked, surveying the chaos around him. There were boxes and trunks, bags and suitcases, old furniture and books all over the room.

  


“Yeah, they're over here,” Kurt said from behind a stack of boxes and behind a huge steamer trunk.

  


Blaine walked over, looking at some of the books and wondering what on Earth could be in all those boxes.

  


“I think these are the lights, and over here are the ornaments,” Kurt said, smiling. He didn't get in the attic very often, but when he did it was a wonderland of things to explore. He was thrilled that Blaine was here with him to share in the fun.

  


“Dad used to put lights up all over the outside of the house, and we have reindeer he made of wood that he put on the roof, and Santa's workshop for the front lawn. I think it's all up here somewhere. He hasn't put it up since Mom died,” Kurt said and sniffed.

  


“You okay?” Blaine asked, knowing that thoughts of his mother had been with Kurt all day.

  


“It's the dust. I'm allergic,” Kurt said, wiping suspiciously at his eye.

  


“Let's see, I can get his box if you bring those...” Blaine offered. They stacked the boxes they wanted by the hole in the floor where the ladder waited.

  


“Hey, come see this...” Kurt called, opening a trunk. Blaine came over and Kurt showed him the Navy uniform his grandfather wore during World War II. There were all kinds of medals and things to go with it. Another box revealed newspaper articles about his grandmother winning a ribbon at the state fair for a quilt she had made. Blaine looked closely at the picture.

  


“Hey, this is the quilt that's on your bed, Kurt!”

  


“Yeah, she gave it to me. I always loved sitting with her when it was on her bed. She could tell me where each piece of fabric came from. One from her mother's apron, a piece of my mother's dress from her first day of high school, things like that. I can probably still tell you where most of them came from,” Kurt smiled, his eyes far away. He stopped and shook his head. “Okay, we better get going before time runs out. I want to get it all decorated before Dad gets home.”

  


 

  


The boys work all afternoon, untangling the lights and putting them on the tree, hanging the ornaments and talking about the special ones. Blaine had been spending Christmas with Kurt for years, so he knew where a lot of the ornaments came from.

  


“Here's the one your grandmother gave you the first year I spent the holidays with you,” Blaine smiled at the memory as he handed Kurt the blown glass pine cone. Kurt hung it on the tree.

  


“Oh! This is the one you got me last year!” Kurt grinned, placing the music note on a branch. They had most of the ornaments up now, and Blaine found the one Kurt held in a special place in his heart.

  


“Kurt, here's the last one,” he smiled at his friend and handed him the tiny perfume bottle that had belonged to his mother. Blaine had tears in his eyes, knowing it would bring tears to Kurt's eyes, too. 

  


“Thank you, Blaine,” Kurt said, taking the tiny cut glass bottle. He held it up to his nose first and his eyes closed in memory. Last year he had realized it no longer smelled like her, the scent was gone after so many years. Blaine had gone to a store in Columbus and purchased a small bottle of the same perfume, Chanel No 5, and refilled Kurt's tiny bottle so it would smell like his mother once again. Kurt had noticed it immediately when he entered the room Christmas morning and tears appeared immediately. He had turned to Blaine, knowing instinctively that he had been the one to do it, and threw his arms around his friend, hugging him. 

  


This year as Kurt hung the tiny bottle, the scent spreading in the room, he smiled at Blaine and held out his arms.

  


Blaine went to him and they just stood there, embracing for a long time.

  


“Blaine, you're my best friend in the whole world.”

  


 

  


To say Burt was surprised when he got home was an understatement. He turned the corner of his street and noticed some new Christmas lights were up along the block. It wasn't until he turned into his driveway he saw what the boys had done. There on the front lawn was the Santa's workshop he had made for Kurt when he was just a little boy. On the roof were the reindeer, just as they had been all those years ago. Lights were everywhere, and in the front window was the tree, decorated and lit up. 

  


Coming into the house, Burt was grinning from ear to ear. There was the tree, all the lights on it and the ornaments and tinsel. There were bunches of holly and pine boughs around the doorways, and mistletoe hanging from the hall door frame. On the fireplace mantle were four stockings, the two Burt and Kurt had that Elizabeth had made and the other two were made by Kurt for Blaine and Cooper the first Christmas they were with the Hummels. All the memories came crowding into the room and Burt turned to see his boys. He grabbed Kurt, swinging him around, then grabbed Blaine and gave him the same treatment. Both boys laughed, so happy their surprise had pleased Burt so much.

  


Dinner that night was great, everyone talking at once, laughing and reminiscing about Christmases long ago. The boys were tired and talking about going to bed when a knock came to the door. Kurt answered it and Cooper was standing there.

  


“Can I speak to Blaine?” he asked, very pale and shaken.

  


“Of course, Coop. Come in. Can I get you something to eat? We have plenty left over from dinner...” Kurt started to offer, but Cooper walked past him.

  


Blaine was standing in the doorway and when he saw his brother, he ran to him, “Cooper, what's wrong? What happened?”

  


“I need to talk to you in private, Squirt. Kurt can come, too, but...I need to tell you,” Cooper said.

  


“Let's go down to my room, Cooper, my dad is in there watching a ball game, we can have privacy in my room.”

  


Cooper walked as if he was in a daze. He sat in the desk chair next to Kurt's bed and just stared at Blaine for a few minutes.

  


“I went to see Jenn. When I got there, cops were all over the place. Her father was standing there, a look of shock on his face. Her mother was crying. I thought something like an accident happened. But it was much worse,” Cooper put his head down for a minute to collect himself.

  


“They were there to arrest Jenn. How can you know someone for years... _years_...and still not know them? They arrested her for sexual assault on a minor. I thought it was...a mistake. They let me speak to her for a moment and I asked her, did she want me to get her a lawyer, I kept telling her we would get it fixed, that the police would find out it was the wrong person. She just looked at me and said that they did not have the wrong person. That she had done it,” Cooper just sat there, crushed. 

  


Blaine was shaking by now, and Kurt gathered him close, holding his friend because it was the only thing he knew to do. He was overwhelmed. Here were his closest friends, people he considered to be his family, and he was lost as to what to do. Blaine was clutching his chest, his fist balled up in Kurt's shirt. Blaine was sobbing, talking but no words were discernible.

  


Cooper went from being in shock to staring at his brother. 

  


“Hey. Blaine? I didn't know you were so close to her? I mean, you barely spoke to her – why are you so upset?” Coop looked at Kurt as if he could offer some clue to Blaine's break down.

  


Kurt leaned down and whispered in Blaine's ear, stroking his head trying to comfort him. Blaine nodded yes and Kurt looked at Cooper.

  


“He's not upset she got caught, Cooper. He's relieved,” Kurt said and Cooper just looked at the two boys, holding each other like the world was ending.

  


“I don't understand, Kurt.”

  


“It's because Jenn didn't just make some kid you don't know her victim. She did it to Blaine, too,” Kurt said. Cooper fell to the floor, unconscious.

  


 

  


Kurt had carefully gotten Blaine on the bed and checked Cooper to be sure he was breathing, then ran for his dad. Burt took one look at his son's face when he came running in the room and was out of his chair, following Kurt back down the stairs. Kurt was explaining as fast as he could, trying to be accurate and concise so Burt knew what he would find in the basement. By the time the two Hummels got to the basement, Cooper was awake again, sitting on the floor looking dazed. 

  


It took a long time for everything to unravel, Burt holding Cooper and Kurt holding Blaine as the entire story came out. In his mind, Burt wondered why Kurt hadn't come to him earlier, but then -the boys were only twelve and had just made a bad decision. Burt wasn't angry with them.

  


When everything had been laid on the table, Burt asked the Anderson boys if they wanted him to contact their parents. Both panicked and it was a while before Burt was able to calm them down. Cooper was a grown man, twenty two now and could make his own decisions, but Burt offered to let him stay with them for a while. His heart went out to the confused kid when he saw how grateful Cooper was to accept the offer. Blaine was looking less pale, but his face was blotchy and swollen from crying. Burt noticed that Kurt hadn't let go of Blaine since the whole thing began.

  


“I think we all need to get some sleep tonight and call the police in the morning. Cooper, you can sleep in the bed down here. Blaine and Kurt usually share the bigger bed. I can stay here for a while if you want me to,” Burt said, looking from one set of sad eyes to the next.

  


“I think we'll be okay. Thank you, Mr. Hummel, you don't know how much I appreciate what you've done for Blaine and me. Not just now, but ever since we met,” Cooper said.

  


 

  


They all got into pajamas and went to bed, Kurt holding Blaine in his arms once again. Blaine sent a thank you to whomever was in charge of the universe to thank them for giving him Kurt as a friend. He finally dozed off into a fitful sleep, his breathing shaky as he cried in his sleep. Across the room, Cooper was in a similar state. Kurt thanked his father silently, vowing to tell him in the morning how much he loved him. Blaine shivered in his sleep and Kurt tugged him closer and kissed the top of his head.

  


“We love you, Blaine,” he whispered, “and we'll keep you safe.”


	4. Fourteen Years Old

It had been a night of revelations, of confessions and consequences. What Blaine had hidden away deep in his memories had resurfaced its ugly head and now he was sitting, forlorn and alone, in a dining room with his parents. 

 

Blaine wanted the floor to open and swallow him. This was not a new feeling, he'd had it on and off for most of his life, but it was most unwelcome right now. Blaine had been on his way to Kurt's house, intending to stay the night if Burt agreed – which he always did for as long as Blaine could remember. He took a moment to thank the powers that be for giving him Kurt and the whole Hummel family. 

He wished he was at Kurt's house tonight. Luck would have it that just as Blaine was getting ready to walk out the door on his way to dinner with Kurt and Mr. Hummel, his father and mother walked in his own front door.

“Blaine,” his mother said, a vague smile on her mouth. His father nodded his head in acknowledgement.

“Mom, Dad, I wasn't expecting you, it's so good to see you,” he said with little emotion. 

“We canceled the trip...well, we rearranged the jaunt to Toronto to be with you tonight, so if you could have a seat in the dining room at the table, Blaine.”

“Of course, sir, “ Blaine answered, turning and walking to the chair to seat himself. His father and mother sat across from him.

“Blaine, we heard a rumor, and we want you to tell us if it's valid,” his mother said. 

“You do? What rumor?” Blaine asked.

“That you were somehow involved with this sexual assault case against your brother's former girlfriend,” Mr. Anderson said, looking away.

“That was two years ago. Why bring it up now?” Blaine asked. He had never told his parents anything about the case. Burt Hummel had accompanied him to the courtroom each day he was required to be there. Since he was a minor, the newspapers were not allowed to use his name and all police records and his testimony were sealed. Unless Cooper had told them? But no, Blaine was sure he would never do that.

“One of my business contacts mentioned it. We didn't know you testified. His son was involved as a witness and saw you in the courthouse. Why are we just learning about this now, Blaine?” his mother asked. 

“I had to testify. She was here in the house all the time, they wanted to know things like where she was on certain dates. That wasn't anything to tell. I had no reason to talk it over with you,” Blaine said. 

“Surely you might have mentioned it to us? This kid said you were very upset,” Mr. Anderson said.

“Well, it was an upsetting thing, don't you think? I mean, she was in this house all the time,” Blaine dodged the question. He wished Cooper was there to help him out. Blaine took a deep breath, he could get through this.

“Yes, I suppose it was. Okay, then. If that was all there was to it,” his father concluded.

“Blaine, what are your plans for this summer? Vacation starts in a few weeks. We have arranged to stay home for a larger part of the summer this year,” Mrs. Anderson said.

This sounded a bit suspicious to Blaine.

“Why?”

“What do you mean? We need to spend time with you, Blaine. Your father has a project for you,” his mother said, looking at her husband.

“A project? But I was going to get a job. The animal shelter is hiring dog walkers for this summer,” Blaine said, dismayed that he might have to do some lame project with his father. They had been gone half his life, why the sudden change?

“Son, I bought an old 1955 Chevy that needs to be restored. My father helped me restore a 1923 LaSalle one summer and I think that you would enjoy it as much as I did. I will have weekends free, so I think we can get it running by fall,” his father actually smiled. “It's out in the driveway now..come look it over.”

Blaine was a bit shocked to say the least. He had never done a 'project' with his father, and couldn't imagine how uncomfortable this was going to be. He stood up and followed his Father outside.

“Isn't it a beauty?” Mr. Anderson said and Blaine could only nod. It just looked like a pile of rusty metal ready for the junkyard. He could not imagine having to get dirty working on this car.

“Dad, I have an appointment, I'm due at the Hummel house for supper in an hour. I don't want to be rude to them, so I have to catch my bus. Can we talk about this later?”

“You aren't going to be home for supper?” he asked his son, disappointed that he hadn't gotten a more enthusiastic response.

“No, sir. I didn't know you and Mom were coming home today,” he told his dad.

“Of course. I'll give you a lift. I expect you'll be home later this evening?”

“Ah...no, sir. When I go for supper I usually stay the night. Buses don't run late enough for me to catch one home. I'll be home in the morning,” Blaine said.

“All right this time, but we expect you home early tomorrow morning and then we can begin work on the Chevy. Let me get my car keys and tell your mom I'm taking you,” Mr. Anderson said and walked back in the house.

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

 

“And then he takes me out to the driveway and there's this huge chunk of rusty car parts that he tells me is a '55 Chevy and we're going to restore it!” Blaine whined, telling Kurt what had happened at his house earlier in the day.

“At least he finally wants to spend some time with you,” Kurt tried to console his friend. They were sitting on the chaise lounge on Kurt's patio after supper. Blaine had been quiet and withdrawn all evening and Kurt had finally gotten him to spill what was wrong. 

“Too little, too late if you ask me,” Blaine said bitterly. Kurt took his hand and laced their fingers together.

“You didn't seem to mind working in my dad's shop, this won't be so awful, will it?” Kurt asked.

“I like working for your dad because _you're_ there, not because I have some urge to get my fingernails filthy changing tires,” Blaine mumbled and Kurt's heart skipped a beat. 

Kurt tried to analyze what was going on. For as long as he could remember since he was eight, Blaine had been a part of his life, and for the past several years he had been a part of almost _every day_ of his life. Blaine practically lived at the Hummel house. He went to stay with Cooper every once in a while, but Coop came to visit the Hummels almost as much as Blaine did. To Kurt, Cooper and Blaine were like brothers to him. Well, up to a point.

 

It was hard to pinpoint when exactly Kurt had fallen in love with Blaine. Sometimes it seemed like it started the first day they met in the theater class when they were eight years old. Back then it was more like loving Blaine as a brother, wanting his companionship. Over the years it evolved into a different kind of love. Now Kurt daydreamed about holding Blaine's hand. Of course he held Blaine's hand all the time, but this was different. He wanted to hold Blaine's hand and have it mean something extra, something romantic.

It had gotten worse this past year. Yes, they had both started feeling more things...down there. They often woke up with morning erections when they slept in the same bed, but it was just something they ignored, each choosing to turn the other way or get up and go to the bathroom. It had been about nine months now that Kurt had found himself alone at night, thinking of Blaine. Thinking of kissing those plump, dark pink lips or running his hands down Blaine's chest and not stopping when he reached his waistband. 

They had seen each other naked, starting with the first time Blaine had spent the night when they were eight and thought nothing of it. But now Kurt changed his clothes in the bathroom so Blaine wouldn't see him staring, practically drooling over Blaine's body. Kurt daydreamed about touching Blaine all the time, to the point he was beginning to think he was going just a bit crazy. He could never mention all of this to Blaine, however. He couldn't risk ruining what they had now, which was comfortable and safe. No, Blaine might not want to be friends if he knew what Kurt thought about when he looked at Blaine's bare chest when they went swimming. 

Kurt blinked his eyes. He'd have to be more careful about daydreaming, one day he'd let something slide by him and it would ruin their friendship.

 

“Hey, where did you go?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt in a funny way.

“Oh...sorry, I just wandered off in my head. Back to the summer. I guess you're stuck with doing this with your dad. It won't stop us from being together, just not on the weekends. We'll still have all week together. Besides, we were going to get jobs at the humane society, right? We'll see each other all the time then,” Kurt tried to smile. He needed Blaine with him like he needed air to breathe or water to drink. Kurt risked looking at Blaine's face, wondering what he was thinking. He was different lately, but Kurt couldn't pin down what exactly was going on in his head. 

“Is everything okay, Blaine?” Kurt asked. Blaine startled out of a trance.

“Ah...yeah, sure.”

“Yeah sure, what? Did you even hear what I said?” Kurt asked, convinced Blaine was not listening.

“I'm sorry, Kurt. I guess my mind was off wandering, too. What did you ask me?”

“I asked if something was wrong. I get the feeling you're upset, but more than I think you would be just because of your dad. Did I say something to upset you?” Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head 'no', but didn't trust himself to speak. He was on the verge of tears but didn't want Kurt to know because then he would get it out of him and Blaine did not want to discuss it. Ever since his parents had mentioned Jenn, he'd been feeling bad. He had tried for two years to stuff those feelings inside where they would never show again. He reprimanded himself, asking why he was still so upset over one blowjob just because it was not consensual. He really had no idea how to cope with this. He was fourteen, for god's sake, high time he manned up and stopped letting stupid things in the past affect him so much. 

The worst thing was that he was beginning to think it did affect him. He knew it was time for him to be interested in girls, but he just wasn't. He liked specific girls, he thought they were nice and smelled good and looked pretty. He liked Rachel a lot, and Mercedes and Tina. But to ask to the school dance? No. He didn't want to dance with them or kiss them. There was something very wrong inside of him, and he could not let Kurt know. If he lost Kurt, he knew life would not be worth living. So he just pretended that he didn't love being so close to Kurt, or cuddling up to him on the sofa when they watched movies. When he stayed the night, he would sleep in the same bed with Kurt, they had been doing that for years, but neither of them suggested they change. He would wait for Kurt to fall asleep, then snuggle up close and pretend it was Kurt's idea to hug him. He'd feign sleep and yawn, his arm 'accidentally' falling over Kurt's waist as they lay together. So far Kurt never seemed to notice and Blaine lived in fear of the day he did.

“Blaine!” Kurt said loudly, his hand warm on Blaine's arm.

 

Blaine jumped, his mind lost in thought once again. 

“Hey, Kurt? Can you..ah...oh, never mind.”

“No, what is it Blaine. You're really not yourself this evening, what can I do to help?” Kurt said, getting concerned.

“Ah..don't ask me why, because I just don't want to talk about what my parents said...but...can you just hug me for a few minutes?” Blaine looked away, afraid of seeing rejection in his friend's eyes.

Kurt didn't say a thing, he just held out his arms and Blaine melted into them, his ear over Kurt's heart and listened to the steady beat. He imagined for a selfish moment that Kurt's heart was beating just for him. He didn't cry, he was able to stuff that back inside, his muscles were tense and Kurt held him tighter, rubbing his back in an attempt to get him to relax. Blaine tried taking deep breaths, but it wasn't helping at all. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that Kurt was holding him because he was in love with him. Of course Kurt loved him, Blaine knew that – but he was not “in love” with him. He genuinely tried to calm himself down. He waited for Kurt to loosen his grip or to push him away, but it didn't happen.

“It's okay, Blaine. I'll hold you for as long as you want me to. For you, I will hold on forever, you're my best friend,” Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear as he carded his fingers through the loose curls, calming his friend. He was getting very worried, Blaine wasn't one to do this, he wasn't the needy sort of person -he was the one that comforted everyone else. It must have been something awful his parents said, and Kurt could think of any number of things it could have been.

“Thank god for you, Kurt. Thank god I have you,” Blaine said, not even realizing he was saying it out loud. He clung to Kurt like a drowning man would a lifeguard. Kurt went on holding his friend, rubbing his back or playing with his hair. He leaned forward and kissed the top of Blaine's head before he could catch himself, then wondered if Blaine had even noticed in his misery.

Blaine did notice, and his stomach was doing a swooping kind of loop. Kurt had kissed him? What? Of course, he was just trying to comfort him. That explained it. What kind of friend would he be to take advantage of Kurt's kindness. He willed his body not to react. He knew he had to let go or Kurt would get uncomfortable, but it was so nice to feel Kurt's warm body so close to his own. He would stay just a few more seconds...

Kurt felt Blaine tense for a second when he kissed his head, then relax. He wondered if it had made Blaine feel uncomfortable. He should let go, stop rubbing his back, stop carding through his silky hair. He would, Blaine would get suspicious if Kurt kept it up. Speaking of 'up', Kurt was a bit worried Blaine might notice that, too. In spite of the circumstances, his cock was half-hard with being so close to Blaine. He could hear his breath hitch with his attempts to keep the tears at bay, he could smell Blaine's shampoo, his cologne that Kurt had gotten him for Christmas last year, and maybe a bit of something -- not stale sweat, this was more like he was nervous and just started sweating. It didn't matter, Kurt loved Blaine's scent. He loved falling asleep in the front seat of his dad's truck, leaning on Blaine after a day of hard work at the shop and smelling that scent that meant Blaine had worked hard, too. 

They eventually relaxed enough to let their arms fall from the tight hug, but remained close together, watching the sun set behind the trees at the back of the yard. They still sat there as the darkness came, bats coming out and snatching insects in the sky. A neighborhood cat came over the fence, watching as something crawled along the far fence. He pounced and ran under the back fence. Kurt and Blaine both giggled and put their heads together, squeezing their hands together.

Kurt smiled at Blaine and thought maybe he could sing to him. That had worked in the past to calm him down.

 

 _Did you ever know that you're my hero,_  
and everything I would like to be?  
I can fly higher than an eagle,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.  
  
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,  
but I've got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you.  
  
Did you ever know that you're my hero?  
You're everything I wish I could be.  
I could fly higher than an eagle,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.  


 

Blaine smiled at Kurt. He loved that song and Kurt could sing like an angel. He squeezed his hand and Kurt squeezed back. Blaine sang along.

 

Inside, Burt was sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar and looking out the back window. He'd come into the kitchen to shout out the back door that a game was on the television and did Blaine want to come watch it with him. He glanced out the back window and what he saw made him stop. He didn't mean to snoop, the boys deserved privacy as much as anyone, but Blaine's peculiar actions this whole afternoon had been unsettling. Burt could tell something was up, but he didn't know what that might be. Seeing the two sitting in the chaise lounge wasn't anything to get worried about, they often sat together and held hands, had been doing that since they were eight. 

Burt knew that most boys stopped doing things like that when they were younger than fourteen, but Blaine tended to be insecure and Kurt had a maternal instinct that showed itself in ways like that. But tonight, it was different somehow. 

Watching the boys, he first noticed neither one was paying attention to the other. One would speak, then have to get the other's attention. Then Blaine got upset and was blinking back tears, speaking to Kurt in a hesitant way. That was different – those two boys spoke to each other about everything under the sun with no reservation. Something must be wrong, badly wrong for Blaine to act like this.

He must have asked Kurt something because Burt saw his son wrap Blaine in a tight hug, no letting go. He could see Kurt rubbing his back and running his fingers through his friend's hair over and over. When he saw Kurt kiss Blaine's head and then the look of “what did I just do?” on Kurt's face matched exactly the look on Blaine's face..Burt was pretty sure what was happening, but he could clearly see that neither boy was aware of it in the other. 

His son was falling in love with Blaine. And Blaine was falling in love with Kurt. And neither of them had a clue. Oh, youth could be so cruel. If he told them, it was likely to screw it all up completely, so all Burt could do was to perhaps gently nudge one or the other into thinking more about it and finding out on their own what was really going on.

He saw them finally break apart after about forty-five minutes, but they were still holding hands. He decided not to go out there and tease them, they had enough problems without embarrassing them, too. Burt briefly wondered if Kurt would come out to him or if Kurt assumed he already knew. Well, life had a way of taking care of things like that. Burt could be patient.

 

“The mosquitoes are out, I guess we better get back inside. Are you sure you're okay, Blaine?” Kurt asked, still worried.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Kurt. I just needed a hug, that's all. I'll be fine. Let's go to bed and get lost in a movie, okay?” Blaine suggested, even though he would love to just lay there and hold Kurt's hand for the rest of his life.

“Okay, I'm really kind of tired,” Kurt replied, letting go of Blaine's hand reluctantly.

They walked back in the house, surprised to find that Burt had already gone upstairs to bed. Kurt thought about calling up to say goodnight, but he didn't want to wake his dad up if he was sleeping. He hadn't acted like he felt well lately and Kurt thought he might need some sleep.

 

After getting into their pajamas, Kurt set the laptop at the end of the bed and left the choice of movie up to Blaine. He waited for Blaine to come out of the bathroom and went in to brush his teeth.

Coming back out, he found Blaine in bed, some old movie playing on the laptop.

“What do we have tonight?” Kurt asked.

“The Wolf Man. Original with Lon Chaney and Bela Lugosi, Claude Rains, that's the best one,” Blaine grinned. 

“Maybe the best movie, but Teen Wolf is my favorite for television shows. Derek and Stiles? Wow. And Scott! By far the best thing on TV since Firefly,” Kurt said. He grinned back at Blaine. He was well known for loving Teen Wolf and they watched it together every Thursday.

They settled in bed, Blaine holding the covers up for Kurt to climb in next to him. Kurt turned to see that Blaine had brought them each a dish of ice cream and they sat and ate that and watched the movie not even halfway through, both boys had finished their ice cream and fallen asleep, cuddled close together.

 

Later in the night, Blaine had woken up. He was having a bad dream or something and woke up to find himself with his arms around Kurt. That was probably not the wisest idea, he'd woken up last week in the same position, but so hard it hurt and was so embarrassed he had to go relieve himself in the bathroom. When he came back out, Kurt was still asleep and Blaine went upstairs to fix breakfast. It had been very unsettling and he didn't want a repeat of that. So, he moved to the other side of the bed, tried to ignore Kurt as he whined in his sleep, Kurt's hand searching for him. He finally fell back asleep.

Near two in the morning, Kurt was jolted awake. Blaine was not just whimpering in his sleep, it sounded like he was begging someone to leave him alone. He twitched and scratched at his wrists, crying almost. Kurt hadn't seen him like this since the days after he was molested by Jenn. Oh...things were beginning to add up. Blaine's moody demeanor at dinner, his jumping at every sound all evening, the breakdown as they were sitting together in the chaise lounge. Even Blaine asking for a hug, then holding Kurt like he was afraid he'd be torn away from him at any moment...Kurt didn't know for sure, but he'd bet the farm that Blaine's folks had mentioned Jenn. No wonder Blaine was upset.

“Hey, buddy, I'm here. I'll keep you safe.” Kurt said. He found promising to keep him safe was what calmed Blaine down when he was having those nightmares a few years ago. He didn't want to wake him up abruptly, that scared him even more. Gently, Kurt put his arms around Blaine, pulling his back up against his own chest. Speaking very softly, Kurt told Blaine that he was safe now, that he would hold him and nobody would hurt him. Blaine shuddered in Kurt's arms, but the trembling was stopping. He continued to whimper for a while and Kurt once again carded his fingers through Blaine's hair in a gentle motion. It took a while, but eventually Blaine slid back into a deep sleep, no longer troubled by the ghosts that haunted him. Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes and closed them, falling back asleep with his arms around his best friend.

At the door, Burt wiped a few of his own tears. He didn't want to intrude when he could clearly see that Kurt was the best thing for Blaine at this moment. He thought about how to go from here, but just the thought of talking to Blaine's parents – or Cooper for that matter – weren't the right thing to do. Walking back up the stairs to his bedroom, Burt thought of what he needed to do and finally resolved to do it tomorrow after sending Kurt on some errand. 

 

“Okay, boys, I want the two of you to help me at the garage this morning,” Burt said as he spooned another helping of scrambled eggs onto his plate.

“Sure, Dad,” Kurt said.

“I'd be happy to help, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said. He would much rather work for Burt than go home to his parents.

 

An hour into the day, Burt watched the boys doing inventory and called Kurt over to him.

“Hey, kiddo, I need you to take this carburetor over to Harold's garage over on Lakewood Drive. It's only a dozen blocks or so, do you think you can do that?” Burt asked. “Then pick up some lunch at that salad place you like on the way back.” Burt handed his son some money. “Thanks, kid.”

With Kurt gone for what would be more than an hour, Burt called Blaine into his office.

“Yeah, Mr. Hummel? I got the tires on the back wall counted and the sizes recorded in the notebook like you asked. Do you have something else for me to do?” He asked cheerfully.

“Not right now. I want you to sit down here, son. I need to talk to you,” Burt said, indicating the other office chair.

Blaine looked a little scared.

“You're not in trouble with me, Blaine, but I am concerned. Do you want to tell me what's been going on with you the past two days? I've never seen you so jumpy and nervous.”

“I will try to keep it to myself, Mr. Hummel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let it show so much,” Blaine hung his head. He didn't mean to let Burt know anything was amiss, he didn't want to be a burden. It seemed that was all he had ever been.

“Blaine, please don't make me tell you one more time that I care about you. That you are as close as a son to me and what you think and feel is important to me – as important to me as Kurt is. You do know that, right?” Burt asked.

“Yes, I do,” Blaine answered. It wasn't fair. Blaine was not the kind of kid that cried at everything – but all he seemed to want to do lately was cry. Now here he was, blinking back tears once more as he sat looking at Burt's royal blue eyes that were looking back at him. 

“I know something your parents said upset you yesterday. I think maybe if you told someone and didn't have to carry that burden alone, you would feel better. Did you tell Kurt?” Burt asked.

“No. I didn't want to upset him,” Blaine confessed.

“Well, both Kurt and I knew when something's wrong and we both are concerned for you. So, how about you tell me what it is. It's not going away by itself, is it?”

“No, sir. My parents heard that I testified at Jenn's trial. They assumed I had something to do with it. I told them it was because I lived in the house. I know that while that is not exactly a lie, it amounts to the same thing but I did not want to talk to them about something that happened a long time ago when they couldn't even bother to call and check on me. 

“That, and when they mentioned her, all those bad feelings came back. I kept thinking about it, I was sick to my stomach over it again. When is it going to leave me alone?” Blaine burst out, the tears he'd been holding for two days running down his cheeks. It was okay to allow himself this with Burt. Burt had been there for him, had taken him to the judge's chambers and sat with him while he testified. Burt knew what happened but didn't make Blaine feel bad about it. 

“Is it just the memories, Blaine? I can understand that. It could happen to anyone in your situation. But I want you to think, is there something else that's bothering you, because you seem a lot more emotional about it now than you did when it happened,” Burt tried to sympathize with Blaine, tried to get him to talk. He knew from experience that drawing Blaine into a conversation where he could bare his soul was cleansing for him. It just took a little extra effort.

“No, it isn't just the memories, but you have to swear to me you won't tell Kurt. He would think differently about me if he knew.” Blaine looked genuinely scared and Burt wanted to hug him. Not time for that, yet.

“Tell me what's going on in your head, Blaine. Do you want me to get you a therapist? I can do that if you want.”

“No. I don't think they can fix this. When Jenn …..ah....when she did that to me, I think it broke what was inside me,” Blaine said, not knowing how to tell Burt this awful thing. Would he stop Blaine from seeing Kurt? He hoped not.

“Broke what? I took you to the doctor, Blaine. They did all the blood tests, you were clean of all of them.”

“No, that's not what I mean. This year we had a few dances at school. I wanted to go, but I was afraid to ask anyone I liked...in that way. I mean, when Jenn did that, I think she made me not like girls anymore. I have some girls as friends: Mercedes, Tina, Rachel...but I don't want to take them out.”

Burt just looked at Blaine. Was he trying to say what Burt was thinking he was saying? 

Blaine sighed. “I don't know any other way to put it. I think what happened to me was so traumatic that it made me turn gay. It made me so scared of girls, now I only like boys like that...but I'm scared to say anything to anybody. If my parents find out? I don't know what to do. Or if Kurt finds out? Remembered you promised that you would never tell him! If he found out he might still try to be my friend, but it would come between us and I couldn't stand it if Kurt stopped loving....ah...if he stopped liking me as a friend. It would break my heart. So, don't tell him, please.”

 

“Blaine, this incident, this thing that happened to you was bad. Sexual assault on a child is probably the worst crime ever. But the ones that suffer for the crime, the victims, suffer more than any crime I can imagine. No matter how bad the crime was, I can assure you it had nothing to do with your sexual orientation. If you are gay, you were born that way, son. Nothing wrong with it. Like being born with dark curls instead of straight blond hair. You don't get to choose your true self, Blaine. If you're gay now it's because you were born that way and no amount of trauma will change that. It's natural, Blaine, and I don't want you to forget that. Okay?” Burt said, wishing with all his heart that he could tell Kurt or that he could tell Kurt about Blaine. They would be so happy together and knowing. 

But life isn't fair and Burt had made a promise to Blaine not to tell Kurt; he had no intentions of outing Kurt to anyone when the kid hadn't even told him that yet. This was a dilemma, but Burt's hands were tied. He couldn't help either of his boys - and the answers were right in front of their eyes. 

“Blaine, are you feeling any better? You don't have to tell anyone about being gay, but I want you to understand that there is no shame in it. There is nothing wrong with it, no matter what you might hear or see on the television or anywhere. You are a beautiful, intelligent boy and I would be proud to call you my son. If you have worries like this, Blaine, please come to me. I think you know you can trust that anything we say to each other in confidence will stay that way, right?”

“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Hummel.” Blaine sat for a few minutes, trying to dry his eyes. He felt relieved that he wasn't as screwed up in his head as he thought he was, but the pressures were still there. He still had to spend unending hours with his father this summer. At least it was just on the weekends, he'd be free to spend the rest of the week at the Hummel's house. He was still in love with his best friend, but there was no way to deal with that...and Blaine knew that Burt might be understanding and supportive, but if he found out Blaine was lusting after his son, things were bound to change. So, in spite of having a boulder removed from his shoulders, there was still a whole mountain there crushing him. 

Burt looked at Blaine, wondering how many things the boy was still hiding. He could see he was still upset, that the tears had only begun. He thought about what he had seen last night, how compassionate his son was when it came to Blaine and he was so proud of Kurt. He could only try to be as kind and thoughtful to this amazing boy.

Burt held out his arms and Blaine looked at them, as if he could not believe it could happen. He sat for a minute, but Burt's arms were still open to him and he fell into them. Burt pulled the boy up on his lap and just sat and held him while he cried his heart out. It was so good to have someone that genuinely cared about him, it was amazing. Burt had been there for him for years, why had he just realized now that Burt was the father he had always thought his own father might be if he just tried a little harder to please him, if he got better grades, if he was as good as Cooper...but it never happened. Blaine had been trying for fourteen years to turn himself inside out to be what his father could love, but he always missed the mark. Now he realized that he never had to try to be anything and Burt loved him, as much as he loved Kurt. It was a revelation. 

 

Kurt walked into the garage through the back door. He was surprised to see the 'CLOSED” sign up in the window in front and wondered what was wrong. His dad never closed on a Saturday before five o'clock. He saw a light on in the office and walked to the door, looking around the corner. There was his dad, in the rickety old office chair, Blaine curled on his lap sound asleep, his arms around his dad's neck.

“Is he okay?” Kurt whispered.

“Yeah, Kurt, I think he's going to be now,” Burt smiled at Kurt. “Can you clear off the sofa, then sit at that end and I'll give him to you. My arm's been asleep for half and hour.”

Kurt cleared the magazines off the sofa and sat down, Burt lifted Blaine over and put his head on Kurt's lap. He shook out the old knitted blanket and covered the sleeping boy.

“I'll just close up, Kurt, and we can wake him up then to go home.” Burt went back in the garage, swept the floor and locked up. He couldn't remember being this tired. Raising boys was hard work. He hoped Blaine would grow up to be a good man. He would do his best to make sure it happened. He finally finished and went back to the office to check on the boys. Kurt was sitting when he was before, a sweet smile gracing his angelic face, his eyes sparkling as he looked at a sleeping Blaine. His fingers combed through the silky curls and Burt could see the love Kurt had for this boy. He wished once again that he could set this all right. He would just have to wait for divine providence to work. Or for the boys to wake up and smell the coffee. Burt smirked at that, imagine these two drinking coffee.

“Oh, Dad. Are we ready?” Kurt asked, noticing his dad was standing there.

“Yeah. Let's wake him up and get home.”

 

 


	5. Fifteen Years Old

Burt walked down the path behind the woman, looking into a few fenced kennels as they went to the barn-like structure at the end of the gravel. A few of the dogs barked, but one gruff word from the woman and the barking dogs sat and wagged their tails, some poking their noses to the fence to sniff as the two people walked by.

“You know which one will be best, then?” Burt asked, carrying on the conversation that had started in this woman's kitchen a few minutes ago.

“Of course. I don't breed dogs to just trot to the dog shows or show off at an obedience trial, and, god forbid, I don't do it to make money! I don't think anyone can make money if they are truly trying to breed the best dogs. There's vet bills, housing, food....it eats up a lot of money. Selling puppies doesn't put more than a drop in the bucket. No, I breed to try to get the right kind of dog – one with intuition about how to heal someone, how to care and be a companion. Most of the pups I raise are service dogs.”

“What do you mean by that? Seeing-Eye dogs?” Burt asked.

“No. They have kennels and raise their own stock. Mine are used in a variety of ways. I have had a few seizure alert dogs, but mostly they are therapy or for people with anxiety issues. I have trained a few dozen hearing dogs for deaf clients. I read your application and your story touched my heart, Mr. Hummel. I hope the pup I chose for him will be this boy's savior.”

Burt hoped so, too. Blaine had seemed all right for a while after the whole arrest of Jenn and the court case. He had stayed with the Hummels, as did Cooper, for most of that time. Burt had been so angry with the boys' parents, but Kurt had said something to him that made him stop in his tracks.

~*~

“ _Dad, I know you're angry at Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, who wouldn't be? But I have been angry longer. Then one day I could see it was eating me up inside. Something occurred to me. They don't neglect Blaine deliberately, they don't do things to be mean. I think they were just born without that ability. You know how once in a while a baby is born without an arm or has Down's syndrome or some other disability? Well, I think Mr. and Mrs Anderson were just born without the ability to understand how much Blaine needs them. We shouldn't be angry at something they can't help. Maybe we should just love Blaine and Cooper and let the anger go, it isn't helping anyone,” Kurt had said._

Burt just sat there, gobsmacked. How did a fourteen year old boy figure that out? Burt had always thought Kurt was an amazing person, but he didn't know the half of it, did he?

~*~

And so...Burt was going to buy Blaine a puppy for his birthday, and not just some random dog. No, he had contacted the mental health hospital and spoken with a doctor, describing Blaine's special circumstances and the doctor very kindly suggested therapy (which Blaine steadfastly refused). The doctor laughed and said he couldn't really tell Burt anything, not knowing the boy in question, but before hanging up he had said one more thing, “This is off the record now, but I have three teenage boys. You know what I'd do in your place? I'd buy the kid a dog. Unconditional love, total acceptance, constant companion, great listener, and he won't tell the kid's secrets. As a father, I'm telling you...get the kid a dog. Here, I have the number of a woman that breeds therapy dogs. Call her.”

Burt had set the phone number that he'd scribbled in haste on his desk. He thought about it for a while, weighing the pros and cons. He finally talked himself into a decision and made the call. In a few days a large envelope arrived at his shop with pages of forms to fill out. He'd written all the particulars about why Blaine needed this dog, without mentioning the exact nature of the 'incident' and mailed them back. A week later he'd gotten a phone call and now here he was.

The woman that met him at the door was small, but she reminded him of a stick of dynamite. She was bossy and nosy and he knew he had chosen the right person immediately.

“I was thinking a bigger dog might be nice, and I have a litter of Irish Setters. I know golden retrievers and Labradors are popular therapy dogs, but goldens are so needy and I just don't care for Labs. This little mama has always been one of my favorites. I think I have the perfect pup picked out, too.”

They entered the building and were greeted by a beautiful deep red dog, wagging her tail and bouncing a bit on her back feet as she greeted Burt. A handful of fat puppies followed her and Burt could not wipe the grin off of his face. He'd had a dog when he was a boy, a pointer that his dad trained to hunt pheasant. He remembered how much he loved that dog and his smile got bigger. He had some reservations about getting Blaine a dog, but they had just melted when the woman picked up a large pup and handed it to Burt. The pup took one look at Burt and licked his face.

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK~

 

Kurt got up early, sneaking into the bathroom to wash up. He put on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt and tiptoed up the stairs to the kitchen, ready to tackle the day. He had a cake to decorate, dinner to cook, presents to wrap. They were going with Cooper to the airport late in the evening to pick up Blaine's parents. At least they were going to see him on his birthday, a rare occurrence.

Kurt baked the cake last night, a two-layer white cake with orange marmalade filling and fluffy buttercream-orange frosting. Orange was Blaine's favorite flavor. After tying on his chef's apron, he started heating a sauté pan and placed a large handful of chopped pancetta in with a swig of olive oil and a knob of butter. He was making Bolognese Sauce with pasta for Blaine because it was one of his favorite dishes and Kurt wanted to give him something special for his birthday. Just the sauce took several hours to do all the steps. He smiled and even began to whistle as he worked, chopping a perfect brunoise with the red peppers and onions. It always relaxed him. He hadn't even heard footsteps as he worked, his concentration in getting each piece perfect and doing it quickly took up all of his attention. 

Arms came around his waist and a head pasted itself to his back.

“Hey, I'm chopping here...with a knife, Blaine! I could have hurt you,” Kurt groused, a bit embarrassed he hadn't heard Blaine sneaking up on him.

Blaine giggled. 

“I just wanted to thank you for letting me sleep in, and for making me my favorite dinner of all time,” Blaine said, hugging tighter for a second before letting go. He was smiling, and the glow lit the room. Kurt could not help but smile back, his heart cracking because he loved this boy so much and because loving him in secret had to be enough. Kurt could never risk losing everything by telling him how much he was _in love_ with him. No, Kurt was not a risk taker, but sometimes you are caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. 

“Hey, it's your birthday! What else would I do? So, Mr. Cleverboots, what do you think I'm cooking?” Kurt grinned. He wished that Blaine would just go on hugging him for the rest of the day. Blaine gave his friend an extra squeeze and let go.

“Ahh...bacon? Oh! Clam chowder? What can I help with? Oh, this smells delicious.”

“Hah! As if I would tell you. Nope, you cannot know until dinner time. I thought you said it was your favorite; how do you know it's your favorite if you don't know what I'm cooking? Because it isn't clam chowder,” Kurt teased, turning half around to see Blaine's face. He loved to see Blaine smile. He didn't smile often enough any more. Maybe turning fifteen would change that. 

“Anything you cook is my favorite, Kurt. Just the fact that you care enough to make me something makes it my favorite.” Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes and saw something there...but he was too young and inexperienced to know what it was. 

 

They were interrupted by Burt walking into the kitchen, sniffing at the pancetta browning in the pan. He smiled at his son.

“You're cooking me bacon for breakfast?” Burt asked, looking at Kurt suspiciously. 

“No, Dad. There are oatmeal muffins and milk on the table. They're fresh out of the oven, so help yourself. You, too, Blaine,” Kurt directed. Burt and Blaine sat down at the table. 

“Thank you, Kurt,” Blaine said. “These are wonderful. What's in them?”

“Cranberries, walnuts, and flax seed. What do you think, Dad?”

“Wonderful. I liked the ones you made with cheese and bacon last week, too. Thanks, son.”

“You're entirely welcome, both of you,” Kurt said. 

“Happy birthday, Blaine,” Burt said, patting the boy on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said, a smile on his face as he poured himself a glass of milk. Kurt finished whatever he was doing in the saucepan and set it on a back burner. He would return to it after breakfast. He sat down next to Blaine, pulling him over for a birthday hug but very careful not to hug too long. Blaine was still jumpy about being touched sometimes.

 

After breakfast, Kurt went back to his saucepans. He boiled some water and dipped nine Roma tomatoes in it, fishing them out with a basket strainer and setting them in a bowl. He took a paring knife and started to peel them, placing the tomatoes in the blender and discarding the skins. Blaine sat and watched the whole process for a while, then got up to help. He didn't have to know what Kurt was cooking to help. Kurt gave him the paring knife to finish peeling the tomatoes.

Moving to the cutting board, Kurt set down the carrots and celery he'd gotten from the salad crisper.

“So, you gonna tell me what we're cooking?” Blaine asked, giving Kurt his very best sad puppy eyes.

“Of course. We're cooking dinner,” Kurt smirked. Blaine frowned.

“Aww, that wasn't fair. I meant what are we cooking for dinner?” Blaine whined.

“Blaine, whining isn't going to get you anywhere with me. You should know that by now. How long have we known each other?” Kurt gave him a hard stare and Blaine looked away. Kurt grinned and, picking up his French blade, began chopping the carrots into tiny dice. By the time he was done with chopping, Blaine was done with the tomatoes. 

“Now, we add the chopped vegetables – called soffritto - to the pan and sauté them until they're just a bit golden around the edges,” Kurt said, the look on his face contented. Blaine knew how much Kurt loved to cook. It kind of went along with the way he liked to work for his Dad, setting up the right tools and preparing things ahead, then knowing the processes and applying it to the situation. Blaine had thought about this for a while, and he loved the way Kurt's mind worked. He was more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy...jumping into situations without looking. He laughed to himself, knowing that whenever he jumped, Kurt or Burt were there to catch him and that was a comforting thought. 

Blaine stood next to Kurt as he put in two packages of ground meat he had unwrapped from white sheets of butcher paper. It smelled so delicious, Blaine stepped closer.

“Can you brown the meat?” Kurt asked and Blaine took the wooden spoon from his hand. 

“What kind of meat is it?” he asked, knowing it wasn't clam chowder now.

“Veal and pork. Just break it up in the pan as it cooks, it needs to brown before I add anything else,” Kurt said, getting a plastic bag from the freezer and taking out two red chunks of something. He ran the blender to make the tomatoes into mush and got another plastic bag from the refrigerator, unfolding a paper towel to break off several large leaves of some herb, then get the kitchen shears to cut a bundle off of the plant growing on the windowsill. When he did that, the aroma was strong enough for Blaine to smell it over by the stove.

“Mmmmm...thyme?” he asked. It was heavenly. 

“Yes, good nose, Blaine,” Kurt smiled.

Kurt leaned his back against the counter and watched as Blaine stirred the contents of the pan. 

“How are you coming with the '55 Chevy? Do you have the engine running yet?” Kurt asked. Blaine had been spending a weekend here and there with his father trying to rebuild the old classic. It was his father's idea to bring them closer together but that plan was not working and Blaine resented the time it took from other projects. Blaine would rather be writing songs or playing his guitar. He was surprised at his father's knowledge of the old car, and they had done some work on it, mostly sending panels out to be refinished and painted. After much discussion and a lot of convincing on Blaine's part, they had decided on painting it the original two-toned aqua and white. They had the upholstery redone in the same colors and the transmission and various things had been done, but it still didn't run. Of course it didn't matter all that much since he was too young to drive yet, but all the time spent on the car made him sort of like the car. 

“Blaine?” Kurt asked for the third time.

“Oh...sorry, I was just thinking. Yes?” Blaine shook his head a little bit and looked over at Kurt who was staring at him. It had been a while since he was so spacey.

“Are you all right?” Kurt asked, placing a warm hand on his back.

“Yeah. I was thinking about asking your dad something and I wanted to work out how I was going to ask him,” Blaine confessed.

“Can I help?” Kurt asked, taking the pan and draining the grease from the meat. He put the pan back on the stove and added the red chunks.

“What are those?” Blaine asked.

“Tomato paste. I freeze it in tablespoon chunks so I can just get as much as I need out and not waste any. Now, what is this business with my dad?”

“What business?” Burt asked, stepping in from the backyard. 

“Oh...well, Mr. Hummel, it's about my car,” Blaine said.

Burt just looked at him.

“You mean that old Chevy your dad was rebuilding with you?”

“Yes. He hasn't been home long enough to work on it for about five months now and the other day he asked me if I wanted to sell it. I guess I could do that, even though it isn't done, but I kind of want to finish what I started. All the body and upholstery are done, the rear end and tranny are done. I need to work on getting the engine running. I was wondering if you could give me a little help? I'll do all the work if you could sort of....guide me?” Blaine said hesitantly. He had wanted to practice what he would say before he confronted Burt, but life never turns out the way you think it will.

Burt stood still for a few moments. He knew Kurt was not as thrilled with having to work on cars as Burt had hoped at one point in his life. He also knew from the beginning that Mr. Anderson would probably abandon the Chevy project as soon as Blaine invested himself in it. He wished he had been wrong. This was exactly what he knew would happen and he had decided long ago that he would help Blaine finish the car if he needed it.

“Yeah, seeing as how this is your birthday and all, I guess we could get it towed down to the lot behind the shop and we can work on it when we have time,” Burt said. Blaine threw himself into Burt's arms. The only person grinning wider than Blaine was Kurt, so happy to see Blaine excited about something. Burt looked over Blaine's shoulder where he was hugging him and caught his son's eyes. Kurt mouthed “I love you, Dad” and wiped a tear from his eye.

“I'll call Melvin tomorrow and we'll get it moved,” Burt said, breaking free from the embrace.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Hummel. You are the best dad ever.”

Blaine turned back to Kurt to help with the cooking once again and Burt stood there for a minute, realizing what Blaine had said. He blushed and went on into the den to see what was on the television. How sad was it that he was a better dad than Blaine's own father? Pretty damn sad. And sadder than that was there was nothing Burt could do to make Mr. Anderson a better dad to his sons.

 

Back in the kitchen, Kurt was putting the pan back on the stove and adding a cup of white wine. 

“Wine?” Blaine asked.

“The alcohol will cook out of it. It's the flavor of the wine we want, not the alcohol,” Kurt said, stirring the pan.

“There's a lot left over...” Blaine said, winking at Kurt. “I'm pretty sure we can think of something to do with the leftovers.”

“Put it in the refrigerator and use it in another dish?” Kurt said, looking very sober for a moment, then letting his laugh loose. He giggled and bent over holding his stomach for a few minutes, Blaine doing the same. It wasn't that it was all that funny, just that they needed some kind of outlet for their stress and seized the opportunity when it struck.

“Okay, back to the dinner. I need a cup of milk,” Kurt said and Blaine made a face.

“Milk? In tomato soup?”

“Well, if it was tomato soup, some people make cream of tomato soup and use milk. But this is not tomato soup. Just get it and stop asking so many questions. This is supposed to be a surprise,” Kurt frowned and Blaine laughed again. Kurt looked so funny with the fake frown on his face. Blaine went to get the milk and measure it out, pouring the milk into the pot.

“Now, if you will stir that until it reduces the liquid to half, I'll get the next ingredients,” Kurt said. “Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you having fun? You know you don't have to stay in here with me. I can do this by myself if you would rather go watch a game or something on TV with Dad.”

“No, I like cooking. I think I'll stay in here if that's okay....I mean, well, was that you trying to tell me to leave?”

“No, Blaine. Of course not. I just didn't want you to be bored or anything. It is your birthday,” Kurt smiled at his friend.

“Good. I'd rather be with you, Kurt...” he said, but Kurt was running back to the stove and grabbing the wooden spoon.

“Oh! I thought I had left it alone too long. Whew. No, it's just right. Now, we add the chicken stock, tomatoes, the bundle of thyme, and the bay leaves.” 

Kurt kept his back to Blaine for a few minutes, pretending to be very busy stirring and adding things. He had blushed at Blaine's words. It was nice that Blaine wanted to be with him, but Kurt wanted him to want more...to love him in a way he knew Blaine could never love him back. He had to repeat over and over to himself that Blaine was in his life and he had no right to ask for more. Being his best friend was all he could reasonably ask for, so it would have to be enough. Kurt was going crazy in his head every time his hand brushed Blaine's, every time he was close enough to smell his shampoo or brush against his arm. It sent tingles down his arms and made him catch his breath. And it was getting worse. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep up this pretense of just being a friend. Until the end of your life, a little voice in his head told him.

“Okay, now we need six cups of chicken broth. I put it in a container in the back of the refrigerator on Thursday when I made it,” Kurt said, trying to get his mind back on the Bolognese sauce.

Blaine found it and got out the pyrex four-cup measure. He poured it full and slowly poured it into the pan. Kurt turned up the heat until it was boiling, then reduced the heat to a low simmer. He placed a lid on the top, but offset it a bit. 

“That needs to simmer for about four hours now. We can go do something, but I have to check it once in a while. We can add more chicken stock if it starts to get dry.”

“And it's not soup?” Blaine asked, looking very doubtfully at his friend.

“Nope. Not soup.” Kurt chuckled. He loved driving Blaine a bit crazy.

~*~

“Hey, Blaine, are you guys done in the kitchen for a while?” Burt asked. 

“Yeah, did you need us to help with anything?” Blaine answered. He and Kurt were getting ready to listen to some music but it was nothing important.

“I was wondering if you could help me out in the garden shed for a few minutes,” Burt said. He winked at Kurt when Blaine wasn't looking.

“Sure,” Blaine smiled. He was always willing to help out whenever possible.

The boys followed Burt to the shed, Blaine taking Kurt's hand as usual. Burt got to the shed and started to unlock the door and Blaine heard a whine. He looked around, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary and the Hummels didn't seem to notice anything.

“Okay, Blaine, sit down on the grass there and close your eyes,” Burt said, “Kurt and I have a present for you.”

Blaine gave him a funny look but complied without comment. Burt opened the door to the shed and a fat red puppy waddled out. She spotted Blaine sitting while the other people were standing and recognized her prospects were better with the boy. She shimmied her little butt and walked slowly closer and closer until she was in his lap. The look on Blaine's face was absolutely perfect as he opened his eyes and Kurt got a shot on his phone of the puppy licking his face and Blaine looking at her with a goofy “I'm in love” expression.

“Ohhh?? Burt? Kurt? Is she...?” he could not string two words together to make any sense, but the Hummels knew what he was saying.

“Yes, son, she's yours. Treat her like a princess and she'll be your best friend for life,” Burt said, grinning at how happy Blaine was.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine and put out a hand to let the puppy sniff. She was wiggling all over, her butt doing the shimmy while her tongue was lapping Blaine's cheeks. 

“Come here little princess, come see me,” Kurt called and the pup loped in a circle then over to get pets and love from this new person. Kurt grinned because, well, what else can you do when something that beautiful climbs in your lap? 

Burt leaned over and snapped his fingers and she immediately went to him, rolling over on her back.

“No, I don't need to scratch your belly, missy. Sit.” he said and the pup got up and sat, looking at his face as if asking what he wanted her to do next. Burt smiled and said, “Lie down.” and she complied.

“She knows about eight commands now, but she can learn more. She is four months old and I signed you up for obedience classes. For the dog. I couldn't find one to take you, Blaine,” Burt deadpanned. Blaine looked at him for a moment and burst into laughter.

“Ah, okay...Of course I'll go with her and we'll practice. Oh, this is the best birthday present I ever got. I always wanted a dog....” Blaine got a funny look on his face and his smile faded away. “But...I don't think I can have her. My parents....” He looked close to tears.

“I thought of that, Blaine. You have a huge fenced yard. I think if I speak to them we can work something out. If she isn't allowed to be at your house, she can stay here on those days; but I think with training your parents will see that she isn't any trouble. You will have to put forth the effort to keep her brushed, keep the yard clean by shoveling up her messes, keeping her fed and healthy. If I see she isn't being taken care of, I will take her back. Understood?” Burt asked in a firm tone.

“Yes, Mr. Hummel, oh, yes, and thank you so much,” he hugged him once more and Burt went back in the house. 

Blaine scooted over close to Kurt. “Kurt? She is so beautiful, but she can't be my best friend for life because that honor has always been yours.” He took Kurt's hand and held it tight for a moment, then kissed him quickly on the cheek. He wanted to hold it forever, he wanted it to mean something, but maybe being his best friend would be enough. He started to sigh, but the pup saw he looked sad, climbed in his lap and cuddled close to his chest, giving a low-pitched whine. She poked her nose at his hand until he gave her a pet on the head and rubbed her ears. He wondered how she knew he was feeling a tiny bit sad.

“Blaine, you know you're my best friend for life, too,” Kurt said, reaching over to stroke the setter's ears. Her fur was silky soft and a glossy, deep red mahogany color that looked so pretty as the sun hit it. 

“What should we name her?” Blaine asked.

“We? No, she's your dog, Blaine You should name her,” Kurt said.

“You know we share everything, and she will probably have to stay here if my parents say no. I think she should be a family dog,” Blaine said, very serious. He knew Kurt had wanted a dog when he was little and wondered if he still did. He didn't want to take that opportunity away from him.

“Oh, you just want me to help you shovel dog poo!” Kurt kidded and Blaine laughed.

“Nope. I will do that. I'll walk her, feed her, and do whatever she needs. But if she's going to be my best friend, then she has to be yours, too.” Blaine said and Kurt smiled back at him.

“Okay, Blaine. I think we'll do fine. Right now, I need to get back to the kitchen, then in an hour, you and I are going shopping at the pet store to get her everything the young modern dog needs.”

“Only you could turn getting a puppy into going on a shopping spree, Kurt. Only you,” Blaine laughed. He rolled over on his stomach and called to his new playmate while hiding his head in his arms. She went a bit nuts trying to dig a hole to get to him and the boys laughed. Blaine found a stick to throw for her and Kurt left them to play while he went back to the kitchen.

“Oh, hey Dad,” Kurt said, walking in the back door. “I think getting him a dog was a wonderful idea. He sure seems taken with her – not that I blame him. She is a beautiful dog.”

Burt smiled. “He needs somebody to love him unconditionally. Nobody fits that bill like a dog,” Burt said.

Kurt's face turned into a frown. “I...well, I kind of thought we fit that bill, Dad. I love him unconditionally.”

“I know you do, Kurt, and I cannot imagine what life would be like for him if he didn't have you in his corner. I'm just saying, the dog will bond to him in a different way and he can tell it things that he needs to, knowing she won't judge him or tell anyone else. I know he trusts you, kiddo, but you are so close that I think he has things he isn't comfortable sharing with you yet. Give him time, Kurt. He'll come around. I think I can promise that,” Burt told his son. 

His heart went out to both of the boys, but he felt caught between a rock and a hard place. They had both come out to him, but they were both so nervous about the other one finding out...and Burt wanted to tell them, but he had promised to keep it a secret. This was tearing him apart inside, but he had to keep it all a secret. They would work it out one day. He scolded himself, knowing it was not his business to say anything. He sighed and hugged Kurt.

Kurt hugged his father back, gripping tighter as the pain of holding in his secret tore at him. He wanted to tell Blaine that he was gay – didn't Blaine just tell him he was his best friend? But what if Blaine was repulsed by it? Kurt could not take that risk. He could not lose Blaine, ever. He started to cry and Burt held him closer.

“Hey, now, Kurt. It's all going to work itself out one day soon. I promise.”

“I know Dad. I'm trying to keep the faith here, but some days are just better than others. I had best get busy with the pasta so it's ready to cook for dinner,” he said, wiping his eyes. “We did make him happy, didn't we?”

“We sure did, kiddo, we sure did,” Burt agreed, looking out the back window at Blaine rolling in the grass with the dog.

 

About an hour later, Blaine walked into the kitchen with the pup at his heel.

“Look! She knows what 'heel' means. What a smart dog,” he beamed. Kurt looked up and gave his best friend a grin.

“Yeah, she sure is. Now get her out of my kitchen.”

“Awww, Kurt, she'll behave, I promise. She'll sit where I tell her and I'll be responsible if she does anything wrong – which she won't,” Blaine pleaded.

“Okay, but if I find so much as one red hair in my food tonight, we are going to have words, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt tried to look ferocious, but it didn't work and Blaine giggled.

“What are you making now?” he asked. 

Kurt had a pile of flour on the counter top and had just put a well in the center, like a crater. He started breaking eggs into the flour, popping the yolks and mixing each one into the flour very gently with a fork and shaking a bit of salt into the mix. When about half the flour was mixed in, Kurt set down the fork and used his hands. He mixed the dough gently, incorporating more and more flour in until the dough was to his liking. 

“Oh, can I knead it?” Blaine asked. He went to the sink to wash his hands. 

“Sure. I'm getting kind of tired,” Kurt said, sitting on the stool by the stove. He lifted the lid and skimmed off the tiny bit of fat that had collected on the top of the sauce. Just as he turned to look at Blaine stepping over to the counter wiping his hands dry, his friend sniffed and a beautiful smile blossomed across his face. 

“Oh, Kurt! I know that smell...you're making me Sauce Bolonese, aren't you?” Blaine shouted. He rushed across the room throwing his arms around Kurt. “Really? You made that for me? You're right, it is my favorite thing on earth to eat...oh, wow....how did you know?”

“Well, for one thing, I've known you almost half your life, and for another, I called Cooper last week and asked him. I hope it turns out, I've never made it before,” Kurt said, blushing at all the complements. Blaine picked Kurt up and whirled him around, only setting him down when Kurt demanded it.

“You have made me so happy today, Kurt!” he said and leaned forward to kiss Kurt's cheek. 

Kurt would have done anything to have that kiss land on his lips, but counted himself lucky to have been kissed at all. He put his arms around Blaine and held on tightly for a few moments...not near long enough...and then pulled back.

“Hey, get busy with the dough so I can get the pasta rolled. It has to air dry for a while before we can cook it.”

Blaine skipped over to the counter and began kneading the dough, a happy smile on his face. Kurt went over and put his arms around Blaine's waist, placing his head against his back and just held on for a few moments, then pulled away – wiping a few tears from his eyes. Blaine had finished kneading the pasta dough and turned around, hearing Kurt sniffle.

“Hey, now..what's this about?” he asked, placing a dough-covered hand on Kurt's cheek. Kurt didn't even object to that, so Blaine got concerned. “Seriously, what's going on?”

“Nothing, it's just that I wanted you to be happy and, well, you are. That's the best present I could ever have and it isn't even my birthday,” Kurt whimpered. Blaine put his arms back around his friend.

“Kurt, I'm always happy when I'm here with you guys. You know this is my home more than the place my parents live. I love you guys like my own family. I wouldn't have had such a fantastic childhood if it wasn't for you and your dad. And for you to get me a puppy and make me Bolognese? It's like I died and went to heaven. Thank you, Kurt.”

Kurt reached up with his thumb and wiped away the few tears that were trailing down his cheeks.

“You're worth it, Blaine...so worth it. We love you, too,” Kurt said, but in his mind he was saying: _I love you, Blaine, with all my heart. Me. I. Love.You._ But he would never have the guts to say it because he might break Blaine's heart if he found out his best friend was gay. He just hugged Blaine one more time and went to put the pasta dough in the refrigerator for twenty minutes. 

Blaine was leaning over, petting his new puppy and happened to glance over at Kurt walking away. Kurt was so great to look at. That was Blaine's guilty pleasure – looking at Kurt when he wasn't aware of it. Kurt was so beautiful in Blaine's eyes – perfect skin, gorgeous hair, and his eyes....well, just his eyes. Blaine closed his own eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. 

 

Blaine and Kurt sat together on the sofa watching a movie and eating grapes. They made a game of it, Blaine tossing a grape in the air and Kurt trying to catch it in his mouth. Then they did it the other way. Blaine was winning. 

“So, did you name the dog yet?” Kurt asked, indicating the pup asleep on the sofa beside Blaine.

“Yes,” Blaine smiled at the red puppy, stroking her silky ears. “Your dad gave me the idea. He said to treat her like a princess...so I named her Princess.”

At the sound of her name, the little setter's ears pricked up. She lifted her head and waved her tail a few times, then set her head back on her paws as if it was just too heavy to move and fell back asleep.

“I think you tired her out, Blaine,” Kurt said, reaching across Blaine to pet the dog.

“Nah...she's just young. I bet she would get up and play with us if we wanted her to,” Blaine said back, defending his girl.

“We could walk over to the pet store and buy her a few things,” Kurt offered.

“Okay, I'll carry her. Then we can get a collar and leash and walk her back,” Blaine said, slipping his shoes back on and tying them.

“Hey, Dad?” Kurt asked. “Can you stir the sauce every twenty minutes or so...and add a ladle of chicken broth if it looks like it's getting dry?”

“Sure Kurt. No problem,” Burt said. “Have a good time, don't spoil her too much.”

 

Blaine and Kurt came home an hour later, Princess sporting a new plaid collar and leash and three bags full of things for her. Blaine had agreed to vitamins, a few things for the training class: a head harness, a very long leash, a clicker. Added to that, they got her two steel bowls for water and food, a mat for placing the bowls on that said “I love my Irish Setter”, a rope with a tennis ball attached for throwing and fetching, a stuffed raccoon that made a crying sound when it was squeezed, a book about Irish setters, and a package of green bows for her ears. She was wearing two of them now.

What Blaine refused to consider were cute jackets, boots for dogs, a backpack that the sales lady tried to talk him into, and a rubber duck. He also balked at the price of a dog bed, telling Kurt she could sleep on his bed which led to an argument because it was also Kurt's bed and he didn't want dog hair in his linens. They compromised by deciding to buy the necessary things to make her a bed. All in all, it was an exhausting trip but they had fun.

 

By evening, Kurt had set the table with bright fiestaware plates in rainbow colors. It looked beautiful and he had decorated the room with balloons and streamers. Cooper rang the doorbell and Princess barked but Blaine silenced her with a motion of his hand.

“Hey, Kurt, I thought I heard a dog bark?” Coop said, walking into the house.

“Well, you might have. Blaine is in the den watching a movie,” Kurt smiled.

Cooper walked into the den and saw his little brother sitting with a fat red puppy sprawled across his lap. He started to walk closer and the dog put it's head up, the green bows askew on her ears giving her a clown appearance. She cocked her head to one side and looked at the newcomer.

“Oh, my god...you got a puppy!!” Cooper laughed, enjoying the look of joy on his brother's face. He rushed to sit next to Blaine, petting Princess and talking with his brother and Kurt.

After talking about the pup, Cooper got a serious look on his face.

“I'm so glad you're happy, Squirt. But it makes me twice as sad to be the one to bring bad news.”

“Mom and Dad aren't coming home for my birthday, are they?” Blaine said. 

“No. Their flight out of Munich was canceled and they're waiting for another flight. They will try to be home by the weekend. I'm so sorry,” he said, putting a supporting arm around his brother. 

“I didn't really expect them to show up, so don't worry. I'm sure they did the best they could,” Blaine said. Just then his cell phone rang. He didn't even take it out of his pocket.

“Don't you think you should answer that?” Cooper asked.

“Probably somebody from school, I'll call them back later,” Blaine said. Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine's and leaned against him. Kurt knew that was Mrs. Anderson's ring tone.

 

After a spectacular dinner of homemade pappardella pasta with Bolognese sauce and orange cake for dessert, Cooper left for home. He had given Blaine some cash in a card and a stuffed donkey that reminded him of one Blaine had when he was a baby. He also got him a new cell phone with all the latest bells and whistles on it. Blaine loved it. 

Kurt had made him the dinner and cake, but still had one more present for his friend. Blaine opened it and found two CDs with all of his favorite songs on them and a large journal with a tooled leather cover and a fountain pen. When he opened the pages he found it was filled with staff paper for writing music. 

“Oh, Kurt, this is so perfect. Thank you so much!” Blaine crowed, excited to start writing a song right away.

“I'm glad you like it, Blaine. Now write me a song so I can play it when I'm old and gray and you've long forgotten me because you are a big star. Okay?” Kurt said, wishing Blaine really would write him a love song.

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

 

A few months later, Blaine was home in bed with strep throat. He had felt sick for a day or so but when he got a fever, Burt took him to the doctor. Now he was taking antibiotics and drinking apple juice. Burt had stayed home yesterday with him, but he had to get back to the office, so Blaine was alone for most of the day. Kurt got home as soon as he could from school and walked into the bedroom.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Kurt asked. He wasn't sure what to do to make his friend feel better, but he had made chicken soup for dinner.

“Tired, bored, and sick. But now you're home, I feel much better,” Blaine tried to smile at his friend, but he was so tired it came out half-hearted.

“Well, I have the kettle on to make you some peppermint tea for your throat. I'll add some honey and a drop of whisky like Dad makes me when I get sick,” Kurt told him and he tried to smile again. 

“Thanks, Kurt. You really are my best friend....” Blaine closed his eyes. 

“Here, let me rub your back, that might make you feel better. Can I try?” Kurt offered.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, Kurt,” Blaine said and Kurt pulled at the hem of his pajama shirt.

“Shirt off, please,” he said and Blaine got a little hitch in his breath. It was hard not to act like something had happened, his heart was beating hard, his breath a little fast. He nodded – there was no way he could form a word – and Kurt unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it down his shoulders and off.

“Now, lie down on your tummy and I'll go find some oil,” Kurt said. He returned in a few moments with a bottle of massage oil that smelled like jasmine and chamomile. “Just the thing to relax you,” Kurt smiled at Blaine. Blaine lay still, sending messages to his body to stay still and not get excited. 

Kurt poured some oil in his palm and rubbed it between his hands, then began rubbing it over the muscles in Blaine's back. He smoothed the oil all over, then concentrated on the back of Blaine's neck, just gently rubbing and then stroked down to his shoulder blades. He followed the contours of the muscles and felt how strong Blaine was as he shifted position and the muscles bunched up as he moved. Kurt continued, humming a quiet tune as he concentrated on Blaine. He was thinking about how nice this would be if he and Blaine were something more than just friends, but then put those silly notions away, knowing that it would never come to pass.

He began to think maybe he was ready to tell Blaine the truth – that he was gay, but the fear of how that could change the dynamic of their friendship scared him. Would Blaine let him give him even an innocent back rub if he knew Kurt was gay? Probably not. And Kurt wasn't willing to risk that. The worst fear was that Blaine would never share the bed with him any more. As it was, they had been sleeping together in Kurt's queen sized bed for years, and Kurt dreaded those few weeks a year when Blaine actually went to his parents' home to sleep. He was not willing to give up sleeping with Blaine just to clear his conscience. 

 

Blaine was resting his head on his crossed arms as he lay on his belly. Kurt's hands were warm and felt so good rubbing the soreness out of his back. He had been so uncomfortable today, he could not get into a position that alleviated the ache in his muscles. Kurt knew exactly where to push, where to stroke lightly, how make it feel better. Kurt leaned in and pressed harder, trying to loosen a particular muscle and Blaine groaned with the relief of it...then blushed because he knew what that must have sounded like. Would Kurt still want to rub his back – or even touch him or sleep in the same bed if he knew Blaine was gay? It was thoughts like this that drove him crazy. He wanted so badly to believe Burt when he said it would not make any difference to Kurt, but Blaine couldn't chance anything like that. The stakes were too high. So, he sighed one more time under his breath and closed his eyes to relax into the massage, trying in vain to clear his mind.

 

Massage done, Kurt went to the bathroom and washed his hands. He came back with a hot towel and laid it on Blaine's back. 

“There, does that feel any better?” Kurt asked and Blaine smiled at his friend.

“It's perfect, Kurt. Just perfect. Thank you so much,” he smiled back.

 

Kurt curled up next to Blaine, their backs touching. They slept like this often, not wanting to cuddle but needing to feel the other even in their sleep. Kurt closed his eyes and tried not to react to the noise Blaine made when he was massaging his back. Kurt knew that was the kind of noise he longed to hear from Blaine, but in very different circumstances. He sighed to himself and tried not to think about it any more. It was just a dream that would never come true. He shifted his weight to get a bit closer to Blaine and fell asleep, wishing his half-hard erection would stop reminding him of what he wanted because it was out of reach.

 

A few days later, Blaine was feeling much better. It was the start of the winter holidays and school was out until January. The boys had decorated the house with lights and holly, sweet smelling pine boughs and mistletoe in the front hall. Burt came home for dinner and they all ate in pleasant silence. After dinner everyone was sitting in the den and Blaine brought out his guitar. 

“I know it isn't Christmas yet, but I have a present for you both,” Blaine said, smiling at Burt and Kurt as they sat on the sofa together. Burt turned to his son and took his hand for a moment, squeezing it as they waited for Blaine to begin. Blaine strummed a few chords, then adjusted a string on his guitar. He took a deep breath and sang:

 

_Home,_  
I've heard the word before,  
but it never meant much more  
than just a thing I've never had.  
  
A "place,"  
They say, "Hey, know your place!"  
But I've never had a place to even know,  
or a face that I could go to  
if I needed someone there...  
  
I'm laughing  
it's hard to hide a smile  
My god, it's been a while  
since I have had a reason to.  
  
To think  
it's been here all along  
somewhere to belong,  
and a reason,  
a something-to-believe-in  
  
I've finally found it,  
a place where I'm wanted...  
This must be how it feels to have a home  
  
I used to dream about it  
but never schemed or counted  
on fantasies or wishes-  
it breaks a man to see what he misses  
  
And so many nights I'd pray  
for a better life, a better day  
but I never thought that it'd come true  
It's finally here and I don't know what to do  
and I'm trying not to cry  
  
This must be how it feels  
to have a home  
  
I've finally made it  
I've hoped and I've waited  
and for the first time in my life, I don't feel so   
alone  
  
My heart starts to heal  
to know this is real.  
This is how it must feel  
to have a home!   


His voice was perfect, and he only let the emotion through in the last lines. Tears were running down the faces of both Burt and Kurt as they clapped. Blaine wiped his own face and set the guitar aside, trying to think of what to say. Kurt saved him from that by getting up and taking Blaine's hand, bringing him over to the sofa to sit between Burt and himself.

There were no words to start with, only two people hugging Blaine and covering him with all the love they had for him. 

“Oh, Blaine, that is the best Christmas present I could ever imagine,” Burt said, finally able to speak without squeaking with emotion. “You will always have a home here, always.”

“We love you, Blaine, and you will always be our family, no matter what,” Kurt said, and the tears came faster – cascading down Blaine's cheeks. He was still in awe of how much love these two men had for him.

“I love you both, too,” he said, voice shaky. 

They sat for a while, just holding on to each other. The timer in the kitchen rang and Kurt got up to take care of it. In a little while he called the others into the dining room where there were dessert plates set on the table and a caramel flan in the center. A pot of hot tea was ready and they had a nice time sitting and chatting, remembering some of the best things from the year. Princess was Blaine's best memory, and he leaned down to pet her as she sat beside him. 

Burt finally yawned and said he was going to bed, he had work in the morning.

“Don't stay up too late, boys, and remember to lock up before you go to bed,” he said as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom.

“I guess we better be getting to bed, too,” Kurt said. They let Princess out back one last time, then started down to bed. As they walked through the hall, Princess bumped into Blaine, who was then off balance. He grabbed at Kurt to keep from falling and Kurt held him up so he could stand. They stood there for a moment when Kurt looked up to see the mistletoe hanging above him. He nudged Blaine and smiled. 

It was hard to say which one initiated the kiss because it happened at the same moment, both boys leaned in to each other. Kurt felt Blaine's soft lips as they touched his own and the spark exploded, traveling from his lips, down to his belly and a warm feeling seeped into his whole body. He was kissing Blaine. On the lips. And Blaine was kissing him back. He kept his eyes closed, just letting the feeling overwhelm him. His hands began to shake with the intensity of his emotions, and he wanted this kiss to last forever. 

Blaine could not believe how one touch of his lips to Kurt's could feel so right. He had dreamed about this day for a year or more, telling himself that it would never come to pass. His hands came up of their own volition and cupped Kurt's jaw as he kept his lips there – never wanting it to end. 

The kiss probably lasted 6 or 7 seconds before they broke apart, eyes locked on each other, fear that this was too much. It was another few seconds before Kurt blinked his eyes and Blaine turned away, the fear of rejection now taking over his brain. He grasped for the first excuse he could come up with to explain his behavior and the panic was starting to turn his blood to ice when Kurt spoke.

“I w..w..wonder how that tradition got started?” Kurt stuttered, trying to think of something – anything – to say to get over the awkwardness of the moment.

“Ah, I don't know. I think it was pagan? We should look it up,” Blaine said, leaning over to pet Princess on the head. “Well, I guess we better get to bed.”

 

They got into their pajamas, Kurt in the bedroom and Blaine in the bathroom. It was an awkward silence and they laid down, each on the very edge of the mattress facing away from each other. They tried to go to sleep, but both boys were too full of anxiety to be able to sleep. Each of them was well aware that the other wasn't asleep, but the cavern between them was yawning wider as the minutes ticked by. Finally, Kurt rolled over determined to do something because he could not last another minute like this. Just as he turned, the same thought crossed Blaine's mind and they turned at once, resulting in a laugh from both of them.

“Oh, Kurt, I just couldn't lie here thinking there was something wrong between us. Tell me there isn't, is there?” Blaine asked in a soft voice.

“No, at least I hope not. I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable....I was tired and not thinking and when I saw we were under the mistletoe, well, I....” he ran out of words and just looked at Blaine with his expression begging forgiveness from his friend. 

“Good. I mean, the same thing happened to me, and we are so close, kind of like brothers and...” Blaine could not think of what to say, but he was thinking that the kiss was not like any fraternal kiss he could imagine. He loved Cooper with all his heart, but would never have kissed him like that, mistletoe or not. 

“Okay, then we're good?” Kurt asked, not wanting to talk about it any more in case Blaine would ask him an awkward question.

“Yeah, we're good. Is it okay if we...” Blaine could not find the courage to ask Kurt to hold him, but he held out his hands and Kurt smiled. He scooted to the middle and Blaine met him half-way. They were cuddled together, Blaine's nose buried in Kurt's neck, their arms and legs entwined, and both were sound asleep in minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to make your own Sauce Bolognese, I used Martha Stewart's recipe from her Cooking School Cookbook:
> 
> Sauce Bolognese
> 
> 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
> 
> 1 pound ground beef, such as chuck or sirloin
> 
> 1 pound ground pork
> 
> 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
> 
> 3 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon tomato paste
> 
> 3 ounces pancetta, cut into 1/4-inch pieces (2/3 cup)
> 
> 2/3 cup minced yellow onion (1/2 medium)
> 
> 1 cup dry white wine
> 
> 1 1/4 cups whole milk
> 
> 2/3 cup minced carrot (2 medium)
> 
> 2/3 cup minced celery (1 rib)
> 
> 5 sprigs thyme, tied into a bundle with kitchen twine
> 
> 1 to 2 fresh bay leaves
> 
> 1 can (28 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes, pureed (with juice) in a blender (or through a food mill)
> 
> 6 to 7 cups Basic Chicken Stock
> 
> Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
> 
> Heat butter and oil in a large pot over medium-high heat until butter starts to sizzle, then reduce heat to medium. Add pancetta, and cook until golden and fat has rendered, about 2 1/2 minutes. Add onion, carrot, and celery, and cook, stirring often, until just beginning to brown around edges, about 10 minutes (adjust heat if mixture is browning too quickly).
> 
> Add beef and pork and cook over medium heat, stirring frequently and separating meat with the back of a wooden spoon, until no longer pink, 8 to 10 minutes. Once meat is completely browned, pour off any excess fat. Add tomato paste and cook 1 minute, stirring to intensify sweetness.
> 
> Pour in wine and cook, stirring to scrape up browned bits from bottom of pot, until liquid has evaporated, 6 to 7 minutes. Add 1 cup milk and cook until reduced by half, about 3 minutes (don't worry if it appears slightly curdled, it will smooth out again). Add thyme bundle and bay leaves, and then pour in tomatoes and 6 cups stock. 
> 
> Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a very low simmer and cook, partially covered, 3 to 3 1/2 hours, skimming the fat from the surface with a ladle periodically. If at any time the sauce appears too dry, add up to 1 cup more stock as necessary. The finished sauce should have the consistency of a loose chili. Stir in remaining 1/4 cup milk and season with salt and pepper, as desired. If not serving immediately, let cool completely before transferring to airtight containers. Refrigerate up to 3 days or freeze up to 3 months; defrost in the refrigerator before using.
> 
> I make my own pasta, but feel free to use any type of fresh or dried pasta you like.


	6. Sixteen Years Old

“ _Dad?” Kurt said, looking everywhere but his father's eyes. He just couldn't risk seeing the rejection if it was there._

 

“ _Did you need to talk to me, kiddo?” Burt asked, smiling at this son._

 

“ _Yes. There's something I've been wanting to tell you. I...I...” words failed him, just like he knew they would. He'd been practicing in his mirror and it never came out the way he wanted it to. He'd finally decided to just wing it._

 

“ _Hey, Kurt. Are you okay? You look kind of pale – even for you,” Burt said, confused at his son's actions. Kurt was always so forthright in what he said. This must be something pretty serious if Kurt was so nervous....oh. Burt had a good idea what this was about now. “You know, Kurt, you can tell me anything. I'm your dad.”_

 

_Kurt stood in front of his dad, twisting his hands in the tail of his shirt, and Burt cringed inside at how upset Kurt was going to be when he realized he was torturing that poor shirt. It was one that Kurt had gotten on-line and waited for weeks for it to come from some place in Europe or somewhere. He recalled Kurt running to get the mail every day until the box arrived. Yes, this must be a big deal._

 

“ _I'm gay.”_

 

“ _I know.”_

 

“ _Yes, I'm sure. I have known for a while and.....what? You know?” Kurt's eyes were the size of dinner plates and he left his mouth hanging open until Burt reached forward and cupped his chin to close it._

 

“ _Kurt, I've known since you were three and you asked for a pair of sensible heels for your birthday.”_

 

_Kurt just stood there. This was the last thing he had expected. Was he that obvious? Well, he did dress...a little differently._

 

_Burt held out his arms and Kurt stepped into the warm embrace._

 

 

 

~*~

 

That had been six months ago, but it sat on the boy's mind as if it happened yesterday. Now Kurt was sitting in his room and for once Blaine wasn't with him. For the first time in a long time he was relieved. Blaine was having lunch with Cooper and Kurt wasn't sure what time Blaine was going to be home. They were going to the movies later, but now Kurt was wresting the problem in his head. He had asked his father not to tell Blaine. 

 

It wasn't that Kurt was ashamed of who he was – not at all. It was more that he was afraid that the relationship between himself and Blaine might suffer a blow that Kurt wasn't ready to deal with. Aside from his father, Blaine was the most important person in his life. What would Kurt do if it all went wrong?

 

Kurt was pretty sure Blaine wasn't a homophobe. He had never said anything to lead Kurt to think that. But...Kurt was still a bit unsure. He wanted to bring it up in conversation first, feel Blaine out and know where he stood before he just blurted it all out. Of course, his dad was all for him telling Blaine right away. He had argued that Blaine loved him, they were like family and of course it wouldn't make one iota's difference, but there was that lingering doubt. Kurt sat rubbing behind Princess' long silky ears and stroking down the fur on her neck. She licked his wrist and then laid her head back down. She was nervous when Blaine left the house without her. 

 

 

 

“Hey, Kurt!” Blaine greeted his pal, walking down the stairs to their room. Kurt smiled at Blaine, but he was preoccupied with his dilemma and didn't say more. Blaine looked at him a bit worried because Kurt seemed, well, upset?

 

“What's going on, Kurt?”

 

“Nothing. Why? Did someone say something was wrong?” Kurt jumped, still nervous.

 

“No, nobody said anything. You just, I don't know, don't seem yourself?” Blaine answered, sitting down on the bed next to Kurt and reaching to pet Princess.

 

“Let's get dinner started. How was lunch with Cooper?” Kurt asked.

 

“It was okay.” 

 

Blaine didn't want to talk about it. He had been upset because Cooper had guessed that Blaine was gay, had probably known it for a long time. Coop was under the impression that Blaine was ashamed of who he was, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Blaine was fine with it. He was just worried about what Kurt would think. Cooper was a great brother, but he didn't live with Blaine and had no real idea what his life was like. It had been a tense lunch, ending in Blaine begging Cooper not to mention it to anyone, especially their parents. Coop had reluctantly agreed.

 

 

 

The two boys walked downstairs and started to make dinner. Blaine had been living here more than he was at the Anderson house for just about half his life. Ever since he was eight years old. He knew where everything was and was as adept at making a healthy meal as Kurt was, and he felt at home here. It made little sense to Blaine's parents why he would choose to live with the Hummels and do housework rather than live in their big house and have maid service. Blaine thought that the fact they asked such an asinine question answered it.

 

 

 

When Blaine came out to Burt when he was fourteen, he had been so unsure of himself. He was scared of anyone finding out, although he was glad he had Burt to talk to. His birthday was a few weeks later and to his unending surprise, Burt got him a dog. It was an Irish setter, and she was so beautiful. Princess liked Burt and Kurt well enough and went with Burt to the garage when the boys were in school. When the clock hit ten minutes to three she'd get up and leave, walking to the school and sat by the door until Blaine appeared. 

 

His parents didn't want a dog, but they were never there to object, so the pup slept in Blaine's room, ate in his kitchen and lived with the Hummels when Blaine was there. He needed the dog. Burt had known that Blaine needed love that was constant, unconditional, and never wavered and Blaine got just that with this dog. As an inside joke, Burt told Blaine to treat the dog like a princess, and Blaine had named her that: Princess Sheelagh. He had asked the exchange student from Ireland for a girl's name and Rory told him the name meant “musical”. Blaine loved the name. They usually just called the little setter “Princess”.

 

 

 

“What are we going to do this summer?” Kurt asked Blaine. They had been working at Hummel Tire and Lube every summer since they were ten, each year more hours and more responsibilities. That made up a large part of the summer, but still they had a lot of free time. This year, both Kurt and Blaine got their driver's licenses on their birthdays. 

When Blaine was fourteen his father bought an old junker '55 Chevy for them to rebuild together to strengthen their bond as father and son. How ironic was it that Burt was the one to help Blaine actually rebuild it? They repaired it at Burt's shop with his help and now had a serviceable car. The funniest thing about it was that Blaine's dad took credit for Blaine being interested in fixing it up. What he failed to recall was they the 'every weekend' that he promised turned into once a month, a few hours on a weekend here and there. They never got very far, just Mr. Anderson sending the body out to be refurbished and have the upholstery redone. Then it sat for months before Blaine asked Burt to help him and it was never mentioned between Blaine and his father again. 

 

“Maybe we could go on a road trip?” Kurt suggested. 

 

“Do you think your dad would let us do that?” Blaine asked, He was of the opinion that Burt was a bit on the over-protective side, not that he minded too much. 

 

“We can ask,” Kurt said. 

 

So, that night at dinner, they asked. 

 

“Where?” Burt wanted to know.

 

“We hadn't even thought that far ahead, Dad. We wanted to know if it was a possibility before we planned anything,” Kurt said.

 

“Bring me a plan and we can talk about it. You may not leave the state, okay?” Burt said.

 

“Okay, Dad,” Kurt grinned.

 

“And I want all the plans so we can go over them before you drive ten feet.”

 

“Of course, Burt,” Blaine said, his eyes dancing with eagerness.

 

 

 

Blaine was out walking Princess when Burt called Kurt into the kitchen.

 

“Yes, Dad?” Kurt came in the door.

 

“I have something for you and I need to talk to you about it,” he said to Kurt and handed him a stack of pamphlets. 

 

“Ahh...I don't need these, Dad! Why would you get these for me?” Kurt was shocked as he saw the titles on the pamphlets. They were about safe sex for gay men.

 

“Because you might need them and it's always best to be prepared. I want you to read them and then we are going to talk about them,” he told his son. He went on to tell him about being safe and not just to prevent disease, but to protect his emotions, his self worth. By the end Kurt remembered why he loved his father so very much.

 

What Kurt didn't know was that Burt had done the same thing for Blaine two years ago. Blaine had the same reaction and Burt hoped he had done enough to make his boys safe. He had a feeling they might figure out just what they meant to each other on this road trip and they better have the information. He has slid some condoms and lubricant into Kurt's toiletries bag when he wasn't looking, just in case.

 

Kurt read them and then looked for a place to hide them. He did not want Blaine to find them and figure Kurt out before he was ready to deal with it. So he put them in his journal. He knew for a fact that Blaine would never read Kurt's journal. He was very respectful of personal property. 

 

 

 

The boys worked on their plan for the summer of their lives. They found campgrounds and figured out costs and routes and things to do or places to visit along the way. It took about two weeks before they had the final plans and presented them to Burt one June night after dinner.

 

“You seem to have everything covered. Okay, you have my permission to go,” Burt agreed. “With the stipulation that you will call me every single day, rain or shine. I am giving you a credit card to be used ONLY in emergency, and you need to be cautious at all times. Understood?”

 

“Yes, Dad.”

 

“Yes, Burt.”

 

“Okay. Now, let's talk about when you're going to leave and come back...”

 

 

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

 

 

Kurt took one more load of things out to pack in the car. He and Blaine had been packing for two days and it seemed there were always more things they might need. Then Burt would trek out to the Chevy and unpack all the things they didn't need. 

 

“Honestly, Kurt, are you really going to wear seven pairs of silk pajamas?” Burt would ask and then there would be a discussion. Blaine would eventually act as peace keeper and mention to Kurt how difficult it would be to wash the silk on the road and wouldn't a few cotton pairs work? 

 

They got the old Chevy packed on the 30th of June, ready to start their trip on the first of July. Burt had gone over every bit of the car to make sure it was safe and his boys wouldn't run into any problems on the road. _His boys_. Burt smiled to himself, thinking about how long it had been since he began thinking of Blaine as his. Probably since he was around nine. Life would not be the same if they didn't have Blaine.

 

 

 

“Dad?” Kurt asked for the third time.

 

“Oh...yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry,” Burt turned back to Kurt. 

 

“I think we're ready to go, Dad,” Kurt said. He grinned at his dad for a moment, thinking about how lucky he was to have him. He stepped forward, putting his arms around Burt and hugging him closely. 

 

“Bye, Dad. We'll see you in three weeks. I'll call you tonight from the campground. Okay?”

 

“Yeah, don't forget.”

 

Blaine walked over, staying back a little and looking at Burt through his lashes as he put his head down. Burt smiled and held his arms out to the boy. Blaine hesitated and then went an hugged Burt, too. 

 

“Drive safely, kiddo. Take good care of each other. I'll talk to you tonight,” Burt said. 

 

“We will...Burt,” Blaine was still getting used to calling him Burt instead of Mr. Hummel. 

 

The boys walked to the car, Princess beside them. Blaine snapped his fingers as he opened the back door for her and she jumped into the seat and made herself comfortable. 

 

Kurt got into the passenger seat and Blaine into the driver's seat. With a wave to Burt, they were off on their grand adventure. Burt wiped a tear from his eye. He was going to miss the three of them.

 

 

 

~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

 

 

 

“Well, what did the GPS say?” Kurt snapped as he slowed the car down and pulled over on a dirt road.

 

“It said to turn left at that last junction, I think...I'm sorry, maybe I dozed off and missed it?”

 

“Some co-pilot you are. I think we're lost and it's getting dark,” Kurt sighed.

 

“No, I think we're okay. There's a sign up the road.....let's just go up a ways and see what it says?” Blaine suggested. 

 

Kurt drove up the road and they stopped to get out.

 

“See, we're not lost. Just follow this road to where it forks here,” Blaine said, his finger following along the map on the sign, “and we'll go to the left and a few miles down the road to the camping spot.” Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it. “Hey, this is going to be okay. Don't get so uptight. We took this trip to enjoy ourselves and get rid of all the stress and anxiety of life. Now, let's see that smile?”

 

“All right. I guess you're right. I didn't mean to get so grumpy. Let me stretch my legs a bit and I'll be right with you.” Kurt walked away, headed towards some trees and brush across the road. He was back in a minute, looking refreshed. 

 

“How about if I drive the rest of the way? You've been driving for a couple of hours,” Blaine offered. 

 

“Sure. Here, Princess, let's get back in the car,” Kurt called as the little setter wandered to the edge of the trees to sniff.

 

 

 

Finding the campground, it didn't take the boys very much time to set up the tent and get the fire going in a ring of rocks. Neither one of them knew much about fishing, so they had brought food with them. Kurt made sandwiches while Blaine got the sleeping bags into the tent. They tied Princess up just in case she got the idea to wander. It wasn't safe for a dog to go exploring in the forest by herself.

 

“Thanks for making dinner, Kurt, it was delicious,” Blaine said, smiling at his best friend. 

 

“You are entirely welcome,” Kurt smiled back. He was feeling much better now that he didn't feel lost on the road. 

 

They sat and talked in front of the fire for a while until it got dark.

 

“I'm glad we called Dad before we got in the park, I can't get any reception here,” Kurt was saying, checking his cell phone one more time.

 

“He sounded lonely. Do you think he'll miss us?” Blaine asked.

 

“Yeah, but I think he's glad we went. I haven't been in the woods since summer camp,” Kurt said, trying not to giggle, but losing the battle. Blaine blushed bright red and tried to hold in his laughter but they both ended up laughing about the summer Blaine stowed away on the camp bus and spent part of the summer with Kurt at his camp. 

 

“Wow, that was so much fun,” Blaine said, scooting closer to Kurt and leaning on his shoulder.

 

“Until we got caught. I have never seen my dad so angry. He did get over it eventually,” Kurt said. “Just the same, I'm glad Cooper came with him to keep him calm all the way to the camp. I think we'd have gotten in a lot more trouble if Dad had come alone.”

 

“He still made us work in the tire shop for the whole rest of the summer to make up for it. But it was worth it, wasn't it?” Blaine asked and Kurt nodded, tucking himself closer into Blaine's side. The night air was chilly. “The night you came into the cabin and told me you had come to keep me company? That was the moment I knew we would be friends for life.”

 

Blaine put his arm around Kurt and laid his head on Kurt's shoulder.

 

“I just could not imagine that summer without you, Kurt. I think if I'd have stayed home I would have thought about ending it,” Blaine said in a soft voice, pulling back to see Kurt's face.

 

There was pure astonishment there. 

 

“Blaine? You thought about suicide? You were ten years old, for heaven's sake!” Kurt said, still looking incredulously at his friend.

 

“I did. You know more than anyone what my life was like at home. I may get along with Cooper now, but back then I didn't think he loved me. I was just in his way. He was always so resentful that he had to take care of me. I can hardly remember a day when that wasn't true. It only got better when your dad let me stay with you. I guess I never really told you...how hard it was to know you were going to leave me for the summer,” Blaine looked down. He didn't want Kurt to see the sadness in his eyes.

 

“Hey, Blaine. I know it was hard. You know, don't you, that I didn't want to go? Dad thought I needed to get away because I was having so much trouble in school. He wanted me to forget about all the crap that had happened that year. I told him I wanted to stay home, but with Grandma gone, there wasn't anyone to watch out for me. He was just trying to do his best for me,” Kurt said. He remembered the fight he had with his dad over the camp, and he had finally given in and gone. It would have been terrible if he hadn't had Blaine there to comfort him.

 

“I sat in my bed that last night and I knew you didn't want to go. So, I went down to the parking lot where you were going to meet your bus and hid in the bushes. When they were loading the luggage, I just ran over and got in. Let me tell you, it was hot in that compartment. I made it to the camp and you know the rest. I hid in the woods and then came to your cabin. You have to admit we had a great time, right?” Blaine was smiling again.

 

“We did. I remember at night we snuggled together after everyone was asleep. You know you ruined me for sleeping by myself. I hate it when your folks come home and you have to stay there. I can't sleep without you,” Kurt blushed. What was he saying? He hoped he hadn't said too much because Blaine had a funny look on his face. Well, maybe he could fix this by changing the subject.

 

“Is Princess going to sleep in the tent with us?” Kurt asked.

 

“Ah...yeah, sure. I think she'll be safer there. Plus she can bark if any wildlife comes too close. That's okay, isn't it?”

 

“Sure. She sleeps on our bed at home, why not here?” Kurt said.

 

“I guess we better get to bed. I pumped up the air mattress and it's ready to go. I put both sleeping bags on it so we can use one for a blanket. I'll get Princess a drink of water and meet you in the tent.”

 

“I'll bank the fire and get our pajamas out of the car. There isn't any wind, so I think if I do that we'll be fine for the night.” Kurt got up to do just that and they met back at the tent.

 

 

 

A while later they were tucked under the sleeping bags, Princess laying at the foot of the mattress across the threshold of the zipped tent. 

 

“Blaine?” Kurt asked to see if he was asleep.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You don't...ah...you don't still have any thoughts like you did that summer, do you?” Kurt asked. They were lying back to back, touching but turned away from each other. 

 

“Not very often. I did when all that stuff happened with Jenn and the court and everything,” Blaine confessed.

 

“Were you serious? Did you plan it?” Kurt asked. He didn't want to know, but he had to ask. He couldn't imagine how hard life had been for Blaine then. He tried to comfort him in the best ways he could, but what if he wasn't enough?

 

“I was serious. I was going to hang myself. You want to know what stopped me?”

 

“What?”

 

“I was afraid you would be the one to find my body. I couldn't do that to you, Kurt. So I just held on and got through it. If it wasn't for you and your dad.....” Blaine didn't finish the sentence.

 

“Then I'm glad we were there because I don't want to live without you. Promise me you'll tell me if you ever feel like that again, please?” Kurt asked, feeling very afraid and alone.

 

“I don't feel like that any more. I promise that if I do, I'll tell you, Kurt. You know, since your dad got me Princess I feel better about a lot of things. I think he got her to help me,” Blaine said.

 

“Yeah, I do, too. He got her from a lady that trains therapy dogs. Did he tell you that?” Kurt asked, hoping that wasn't a secret.

 

“Yeah, he told me....later. It made me feel like he loved me. It meant a lot to me, Kurt. I feel like you and your dad are my family. I hope you don't think I take up too much of your dad's time. Do you?” Blaine asked. It seemed like a night for truth and confessions.

 

“No. I know how my dad feels about me. I'm happy he feels the same way about you. I remember towards the end of my mother's life she would ask me to come sit by her bed. She would say that what she wanted to tell me was probably hard for me to understand, but she didn't have a lot of time to wait. I tried to understand her words, but some of them I just couldn't. 

 

“I remember what she said, but I was much older before they made sense. She wrote them into a book for me and I keep it to read when I feel lost or sad. One of the things she told me was that your heart is filled with love and you can give all that love to one person, like your child. When another child comes along, you don't have to divide the love in your heart, you just add more and somehow it still fits no matter how many people you love it just keeps getting bigger. So, if Dad loved me with all his heart and then you came along he just added that much more love. How could I be jealous of that? I love you, too, Blaine,” Kurt said. 

 

Blaine was silent and Kurt began to be afraid he'd gone too far. He was scared to turn around and see if Blaine had figured out Kurt's secret. He would have to be more careful of what he said, to guard his words or he would let the cat out of the bag and Blaine would know he was gay. Lying there, he had tuned his ears in to Blaine's breathing and it seemed uneven. Throwing caution to the wind, Kurt turned over. It was dark in the tent with no streetlights or even a full moon to see by, but his watch glowed and he could just make out Blaine's face.

 

Blaine had turned towards Kurt at the same time and he had tears in his eyes.

 

“Hey, did I say something wrong, Blaine? I'm so sorry. Say something, please,” Kurt said in a thready voice, trying and failing to mask his fear.

 

“I just...I....I love you, too, Kurt. You are my best friend and I hope you always will be. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to imagine that, it would be a nightmare. Promise me you will always be there and I'll promise the same,” Blaine begged.

 

“Of course, how else would it be?” Kurt tried to smile. Blaine put his arm tentatively around Kurt's shoulder as he sat up. He wasn't sleepy any more. Kurt snuggled closer for a moment, but remembered to be careful, he didn't want Blaine to think he was trying to do anything more than share a hug. 

 

“I wish my mother had given me a book like that. It would be so nice to be able to have a question and be able to read something my mom thought for the answer,” Blaine said, just thinking aloud.

 

“You can read mine. I know that Mom would have loved you, Blaine. And you would have loved her. Do you want to see the book? It has lots of things like what she told me about loving, and a few poems and drawings. Some of it is sad because she wrote it when she knew she was dying, but there are a lot of happy thoughts, too. Things about her childhood or when she fell in love with Dad. I have never shown it to anyone, not even Dad,” Kurt said.

 

“I don't want to intrude into your privacy, Kurt. It's nice of you to offer, but you don't have to. Maybe you could just tell me a few things sometimes?” Blaine asked.

 

“Oh, I don't mind sharing with you. I'd be proud to show it to you. I don't mind if you read it,” Kurt said with sincerity in his voice.

 

“Thanks, Kurt. I'd feel honored to read it,” Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt blushed, but Blaine couldn't see it in the dark.

 

Kurt got up and found the flashlight, then got into his duffel bag.

 

“What...you have it here?” Blaine asked.

 

“Yes. I always take it with me. Well, not to school, but yeah, I do take it with me. It is...like a security blanket I guess. Are you sleepy?” Kurt asked.

 

“No. Not at all,” Blaine said, sitting up straighter on the mattress.

 

Kurt found the leather-bound journal and handed it to Blaine. He lit the Coleman lantern and the tent was bathed in amber light. Blaine set the book on his lap and opened the cover. He looked through the first few pages.

 

“Oh, this is a treasure, Kurt. She had beautiful handwriting,” he praised the book.

 

“It starts out like that, but towards the end she was taking so many pain meds, her handwriting gets shaky and sometimes what she wrote doesn't make sense. She would have trouble staying awake and she finally stopped writing. I do have some stuff in the back. Oh....” Kurt stopped. He remembered something he had put between the pages. “I have a letter you wrote me in there. The time you had strep throat and had to stay home alone. You wrote me a thank you note. I have a few birthday cards and the lyrics to the song you gave Dad and me for Christmas.”

 

“Wow, you save everything!” Blaine giggled. He had saved everything, too. It was all in the footlocker under the bed. He kept it at Kurt's house because he knew it would be safe there.

 

“Let me see the letter I wrote? I don't remember it,” he said and Kurt nodded. 

 

Blaine opened the back of the book and some things fell out on his lap. There was the letter and under it were some cards and then some pamphlets. 

 

Both boys gasped as the pamphlets fell out, their titles plain for everyone to see:

 

“ _Safe Sex for Gay Men”, “When Boys Fall in Love with Boys”,_ and _“Basics of Anal Penetration”._

 

“Kurt! Where did you get these? I thought my footlocker was private? What were you doing in it...and why did you take these?” Blaine shouted. Kurt cringed, not understanding what Blaine was saying. Princess was standing, trying to get to Blaine – whining and barking. She knew her job was to keep him calm and she was anxious to get to his side. Kurt was trying to grab the pamphlets, saying that it wasn't what it looked like and panicking about what would happen now.

 

Complete chaos reigned as both boys were shouting, the dog was barking and everyone was crying. Princess pushed her way between the boys and Blaine grabbed her around her neck, sobbing. Kurt was thrusting the pamphlets back between the pages of the journal and shoving that back into his duffel bag. Both boys were panting with trying to calm their breathing and stop their tears. Kurt chanced a glance at Blaine, but all he saw was the boy's face buried in his dog's fur. Princess was whining and trying to lick Blaine's face.

 

“Oh, Kurt....why were you in my footlocker? Why would you betray my trust like that?” Blaine moaned from his refuge behind his dog.

 

“What? I wasn't in your footlocker. Why would you think that?” Kurt asked. Nothing was making sense at all. He shook his head and then just stared at Blaine.

 

“Where else would you have gotten my pamphlets, damn it. Don't play the innocent with me. Why, Kurt?”

 

Kurt was starting to get upset.

 

“I did no such thing, and what do you mean 'your' pamphlets? Dad gave those to me a couple of months ago when I.....” he stopped. What? He could never tell Blaine why Burt had given those to him, could he? He was at a loss to know what to think or do. Maybe Blaine had mistaken what the pamphlets said. 

 

“Yes, my pamphlets. Burt gave those to me last year when I came out to him,” Blaine said in a tiny, sad voice. He knew his secret was out now. There was no way to hide what he had said. But did it matter? If Kurt had found them, then he already knew. That meant – well, Blaine didn't know what that meant. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Princess' shoulder once again. He felt Kurt take his hand and speak.

 

“Blaine?” he said so quietly Blaine could hardly hear it. He was shaking with trepidation, terrified of what would happen now. Would Kurt just drive them home and never talk to him again? “Blaine. Look at me,” Kurt said in a pleading voice. Blaine looked up and Kurt squeezed his hand.

 

“I think we need to talk about this. Are you able to do that now?” Kurt asked, fear evident in his trembling words.

 

“Yes,” Blaine knew he had to face the music. “How long have you known about me?”

 

Kurt gasped. “You? What are you talking about?”

 

“Well, why else would your dad have given those to me, Kurt? Don't be obtuse,” Blaine said, beginning to get irritated in his confusion. Why was Kurt making this so hard?

 

“Ah...wow. Blaine, those are my pamphlets. I would never go into your private trunk, ever. Don't you know me better than that?” Kurt huffed. Then he took a great gulp of air and soldiered on. “Dad got those for me last year. I came out to him, but he told me he had known I was gay since I was three years old. I didn't want to know about....those things. About sex. But he demanded that I read them and then he sat me down and we talked about it. I put them in my journal so you wouldn't find them.”

 

It was Blaine's turn to sit dumbfounded. Kurt was gay? He closed his eyes for a moment. Things that had been confusing for such a long time were falling into place. Burt trying to convince him to tell Kurt, assuring him that Kurt wouldn't be upset with the news. He blinked. How long had Burt known about the two of them?

 

“Ah, Kurt? Burt gave me those same pamphlets over a year ago when I came out to him. It was just after the court case and I thought that what Jenn did to me...had made me...ah...not like girls. Romantically, I mean. He told me that couldn't happen, that we are all born a certain way and there is no shame to it. He said I was not sick or wrong, and he got me those so I would be more...comfortable with myself. I didn't know you.....that you...were gay. It never occurred to me. I have been so scared that you would find out and not want me in your life any more. Burt kept telling me that I should tell you...” Blaine rambled for a few minutes, then just stopped and looked across the tent at Kurt, standing over his duffel bag. He was frozen, but Blaine's words seemed to bring him back to life.

 

“Oh, my gods, Blaine...he kept telling me the same thing, but I was scared, too. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees...” Kurt came back to the mattress and sat down on the sleeping bag. Princess turned around and gave him a big doggie kiss on his cheek before turning back to her master.

 

“Wow. All this time...and...just...” Blaine had run out of words. Both boys sat there, stunned as they went over it all in their minds, thoughts coming and going as they contemplated what this would all mean. After a long time, Kurt spoke.

 

“This is not going to be resolved tonight, Blaine. It is a shock to both of us, and I think we need to sleep on it. Do you want to try to go back to sleep?” Kurt asked.

 

“Yeah. You're right, we're going to have to have a lot of talks I think. Are you okay with everything for now, though? I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable,” Blaine blushed, thinking about all the nights they had slept in each other's arms.

 

Kurt was almost as red, the same thoughts crossing his mind. However, he and Blaine had been sleeping together for eight years and tonight wasn't going to be much different. At least he hoped not. He got up and turned off the lantern, crawling back under the sleeping bag and holding it open for Blaine.

 

“Blaine?”

 

“Hey, isn't this how we got into this trouble to begin with?” Blaine said in a lighthearted way. Kurt giggled. Yes, it was going to be okay between them.

 

“I was wondering if I could...just hold you? Not is any sexual way, but I just want you to be close to me all night – like we usually do?” Kurt wondered, a little afraid things might have changed between them.

 

“I'd like that. I feel all mixed up and just...well, this was sort of a shock for both of us. Yes, we can still cuddle like we always have, if that's all right with you,” Blaine offered, hope in his heart. He didn't want things to become awkward with his best friend.

 

They came together, arms tight as they hugged, careful now not to let their lower bodies brush up against one another. Both Blaine and Kurt sighed at the same time, bringing a giggle.

 

“We're going to be fine, I know it,” Kurt said and kissed Blaine's cheek as they often did.

 

Blaine hummed his agreement. 

 

Later that night as the slim crescent of the moon crossed the sky, Blaine was snug against Kurt's back. His arms were around Kurt's chest, hands in Kurt's as their fingers tangled together. Blaine was awake again, just trying to make sense and order out of the chaos in his brain. Kurt was gay. Did that mean he could ask him out? Maybe on a date? They already went everywhere together, would it be different now? And what would happen when they told Burt? Obviously Burt knew about both of them, had known for a long time. Would he forbid them to sleep together any more? There were too many questions. He felt Kurt shift in the sleeping bag and pulled back a little as Kurt rolled over to face him.

 

“Hey, what's going on? I can hear you thinking all the way over here,” Kurt said, stroking Blaine's arm. 

 

“Just thinking about how this is going to affect everything at home,” Blaine said. 

 

“Yeah, it might change things a little, but I don't think we have anything to worry about. Why?” Kurt asked. 

 

“I'm scared your dad won't let us sleep in the same bed any more when we tell him,” Blaine said. Kurt's mouth opened for a brief moment, but no sound came out. 

 

“Ah, well, I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. It's not like we're in a relationship like that yet...oh, I hadn't thought...are we going to...” Kurt stammered.

 

“I didn't want to assume...” Blaine said, but stopped to look at Kurt's reaction. They just laid there, listening to their breathing getting rougher, their hearts pounding in their chests.

 

Kurt, his arms already around Blaine and tugging him closer. He closed his eyes for a moment, then brushed his lips tenderly across Blaine's. Just a touch, a flicker and it was over. 

 

Blaine blinked, then looked into Kurt's eyes. He was remembering the kiss under the mistletoe and all the nights he had gone to sleep with the echoes of that in his mind. He leaned back again, this time he put his lips on Kurt's and felt the tingling of desire go through him. He pressed just a touch more, loving the feel of finally having Kurt as close as he had dreamed for years. Years. It seemed like forever. He pulled back once again to gage Kurt's response and saw the yearning on his friend's face, too.

 

“Kurt? Is this...is this okay?” he hated that his voice trembled even though he was glad he could get the words out.

 

“Oh, yes...I've wanted to do this for so long, Blaine. So very long.” 

 

They met in the middle this time, the kiss was longer and more sure, the tentative shyness was gone from them both as they pressed their lips together harder, moving in gentle motions until a moan escaped from the back of Blaine's throat followed by a whine from Kurt. They kissed for a long time, they were so wrapped up in each other. Kurt was kissing the corner of Blaine's mouth, just tiny kitten kisses and then back to a full kiss when Blaine opened his mouth a bit and let his eager tongue lick along Kurt's bottom lip and take it gently between his teeth for a fraction of a second. The sound that burst from Kurt's throat was loud, and he was a little embarrassed as the moan echoed in the tent a little. 

 

“Was that too much?” Blaine worried, but Kurt's hand moved to the back of his head, tangled in his silky curls and pulled him back to continue kissing.

 

Kurt shifted his weight, pulling Blaine over on top of him to rest on his chest as they kissed. Blaine moved from Kurt's mouth down his jaw and under to kiss along his neck. Kurt shivered and his skin was covered with goose bumps as Blaine slowly kissed along his neck, settling at the pulse point to feel how alive Kurt was now; he could feel his heart pounding in his blood vessels. 

 

Blaine could feel himself getting hard and wondered if Kurt was having the same reaction. He brushed his thigh close just to confirm it and got his answer. Kurt whined in his throat again as he felt the contact and pressed himself closer to Blaine. He licked the warm spot under his jaw and Blaine's hips bucked a tiny bit before he was able to control them.

 

“We better slow down, Kurt. I don't want to get too deep tonight before we have talked about this, right?” Blaine said and Kurt could tell what it took for him to admit that. He also knew Blaine was right, so he slid out from under and put a bit of space between them. 

 

They still held hands, but otherwise didn't touch. Lying on the air mattress, they just looked at each other's eyes. Kurt smiled and Blaine smiled back. There just didn't seem to be any words. 

 

An hour later and Kurt was sound asleep, safe in Blaine's arms with his face buried in Blaine's neck. Blaine was curled around Kurt, holding him close as they both slept through the rest of the night. They didn't wake up until the sun was far over the horizon and Princess' urgent scratch at the tent flap brought them back to reality.

 

“Oh, no...I was having the nicest dream, girl,” Blaine said, addressing the setter. He sat up, careful to disentangle himself from Kurt, and rubbed his eyes. He glanced at his watch and saw it was after nine.

 

Kurt yawned and stretched, his cotton pajama shirt riding up his torso. 

 

“Wow, it seems like we got to sleep just minutes ago, doesn't it?”

 

“I would have slept longer, but Princess needs to go out. Here, let me climb over you and I'll unzip the tent,” Blaine said as he set his weight on Kurt in his hurry to open the tent flap. Princess ran out after Blaine snapped her tie-out leash to her collar. He climbed back over Kurt but only got half-way when Kurt's arms stopped him.

 

Relaxing into the embrace, Blaine put his head on Kurt's chest.

 

“Good morning, merry sunshine,” Kurt said, kissing Blaine's temple.

 

“Good morning to you, too. Did you sleep well?” Blaine asked.

 

“Wonderfully. You?”

 

“Princess woke me from a wonderful dream,” he replied, looking comically sad.

 

Kurt giggled. “Awww. What was it about?”

 

“This,” Blaine said, pushing himself up enough to be able to see Kurt's eyes and kiss his cheek.

 

“Oh. Funny, I was having the same dream,” Kurt smirked and pulled Blaine back down to lie on his chest. They just stayed like that for the longest time until morning urges sent them to the edge of the woods to relieve themselves. Walking back into camp, they put together a little breakfast, cooking bacon and eggs over the stirred-up fire. They brushed their teeth and got dressed, each glancing at the other boy and blushing as they pulled off their pajamas.

 

“I'm sorry, Blaine, I can't pretend I'm not looking,” Kurt confessed.

 

“It's okay, I was, too. It's not like we haven't been getting dressed in front of each other since we were eight,” Blaine said. 

 

Once more outside, Kurt sat down on a log to tie his shoes.

 

“What do you want to do today? We had planned to drive to Cedar Falls and see the waterfall I think,” Blaine started.

 

“Yeah, that sounds good. We can get the camp cleaned up and pack the tent. Or we could stay here for a while...I mean, the tent is already pitched and it's pretty here?” Kurt countered.

 

“That sounds like a great idea. One of us will have to drive back a ways to call Burt this evening, I'm still not getting phone reception here,” Blaine said. Kurt pulled his out of his pocket and looked at it.

 

“Oh, mine's working! Should we call him now? He's at the shop,” Kurt said.

 

“Should we call him just to check in– or should we tell him our secrets are out?” Blaine asked, looking a little apprehensive. He felt that this news was so new he wanted time to explore it before they involved another person, even if it was Burt.

 

“Ah, I don't want to lie to dad, and I'm sure he'll be pleased considering what I found in my toiletries kit this morning, but maybe we can keep it to ourselves for a while? Just until we get used to the idea?” Kurt threw out, not entirely sure how Blaine would feel about it all. He knew Blaine was close to his dad, and that was fine, but some things might need to be kept to themselves for the time being.

 

“I agree. We can save it until we get home, no need of making Burt uncomfortable. What did you find in your kit this morning?” Blaine asked with curiosity.

 

“You don't want to know.” 

 

Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine walked over to plant himself on the log next to his friend. He gave Kurt his best puppy eyes.

 

“Okay, but I'm not saying it out loud. Here, look for yourself,” Kurt blushed bright red. 

 

Blaine took the kit and unzipped it. His eyes got big as he looked back at Kurt. 

 

“What did he think we were going to be doing here?” Blaine posed the question to the air and blushed red as Kurt. There in the toiletries kit, beside the toothpaste and deodorant and things was a package of condoms and a small tube of lubricant. They avoided looking at each other for a few moments, but quickly let it go as Blaine zipped the kit up and set it aside.

 

Princess came trotting up, dragging her leash behind her. She seemed confused at the length of leather that was following her everywhere.

 

“Sorry, girl, but you need to stay on the leash in camp. I can't have you walking around the woods flushing porcupines or skunks out of hiding. Come. Sit. Good girl,” Blaine told his dog. She sat still, looking at the boys and waving her long tail.

 

“Do you want to go for a walk? I think our camp is safe here, I haven't even seen a car go by,” Kurt offered. He really wanted to kiss Blaine again, but was afraid to say so until Blaine made a comment about last night. 

 

“Yeah, a walk sounds good. We can go over by the river and try to skip some rocks...or better yet throw a stick for Princess.”

 

They got up, made sure everything was secure in the camp, and started out along a path made by many people over the years. They couldn't get lost on a path, especially since it didn't really branch out anywhere.

 

Walking under the trees was lovely. Just a few steps into the trees and Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and they grinned at each other. They often held hands, most of the time actually. This morning it just felt different and they were very hesitant, Kurt searching Blaine's eyes first to be sure it was okay. Blaine giggled when Kurt tentatively slipped his fingers into Blaine's hand and laced them together. Blaine squeezed back lightly to convey he liked it and they walked to the river, Princess ranging along beside them.

 

The scenery was beautiful, the air crisp and clean, and the sounds of the river made it seem like they were all alone in the world. Sitting on a boulder, Kurt leaned closer to Blaine and nuzzled his neck before kissing him on that tender skin. Blaine took in a deep breath, his arms going to Kurt's shoulders as if they had a will of their own. 

 

“MMMmmm, that feels good,” he said under his breath, but Kurt heard it and began to nibble along the tendon in Blaine's neck causing Blaine to wrap his arms tighter. Kurt hummed his approval but didn't stop until Blaine whined.

 

“Everything okay?” Kurt's breath rushed over the tender skin and Blaine tilted Kurt's head a little and placed his lips on Kurt's. Apparently it was okay then.

 

Blaine pulled Kurt closer until Kurt finally got up and sat back down in Blaine's lap, straddling him and placing his arms around Blaine's neck to steady himself. He took up kissing Blaine where he'd left off. Princess lay down on the path, head on her paws to wait this out. She finally shifted and lay down on her side to take a nap.

 

Everything started soft and gentle, but the heat produced made the two of them more desperate as they continued to make out, sliding down the boulder to sit on the grass. After a while, Blaine pressed Kurt down onto his back and lay on top of him. Kissing went on until Blaine noticed how aroused Kurt was becoming and knew he was in the same state. Reluctantly, he pulled back a bit.

 

“Did I do something wrong?” Kurt asked.

 

“No, it was....you did everything right, too right, and I was...you were...” Blaine stammered and couldn't get to the point. Kurt smiled and pushed his hips up to see what Blaine would do as he felt Blaine's erection through the layers of jeans. He got an immediate reaction as Blaine came down to kiss him fiercely – first grinding into Kurt's waiting crotch and then plunging his tongue into Kurt's open mouth. Kurt's head was twirling and his body reacting to Blaine in a way he had only dreamed about before. His hands griped around Blaine's waist and he pulled him closer, as if he believed they could get any closer. The kissing and grinding was getting way too heated and neither boy wanted it to stop. It was like a stick of dynamite and they had lit the fuse, getting more frantic as the seconds ticked by. 

 

It might have ended quite differently if Princess hadn't started barking. Blaine mumbled a word that might have been 'cockblock' before pulling back, sitting up and taking a huge breath. He was still straddling Kurt who was panting and refused to open his eyes for a moment, afraid this was a dream, too.

 

“What's wrong, Princess?” Blaine asked the dog, looking over to see her pacing back and forth on the bank of the river. A few minutes later two kayakers went by, nodding their heads in greeting as they paddled down the rushing water of the river. Blaine waved back, but Kurt was still lying there with his eyes closed. Blaine looked down at his friend and took stock of him. He saw Kurt just about every day of his life but now he was looking again, seeing Kurt as if for the first time.

 

Kurt had always been beautiful, Blaine realized. His pale skin was just the right shade, not too pale, just right. It went perfectly with the rich chestnut of his hair and the bright blue of his eyes. Kurt's eyes. They were like sunlight on water, shades of blue, aqua, cornflower, and French blue with tiny sparkles of gold. Kurt had started shaving this year, finally catching up with Blaine who had begun to shave almost two years ago. 

 

Blaine shifted his weight and put less pressure on Kurt as he continued to look. Kurt was still laying with his eyes closed, his hands above his head resting in the grass. He was thin, but not skinny, his arms and legs showing promise of strength and power to come. He always dressed in things that accentuated his long legs and Blaine remembered Mercedes saying she thought Kurt was flamboyant last year when he showed up to class with his usual tight jeans and button down silk shirt topped with a purple vest and knee-high boots. Blaine blinked. How could he not have guessed that Kurt was gay? He must have had a blindfold on to be so out of touch. 

 

Kurt finally opened his eyes, glancing over at Princess and giving Blaine a questioning look.

 

“Kayakers, she didn't seem to like them so close to us,” Blaine explained.

 

“Are they gone?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded. “Then why are you all the way up there?”

 

Blaine decided to remedy that and leaned down to kiss Kurt's nose. Kurt giggled.

 

“If that's all I get, I might as well get up,” he sighed. Blaine crawled over to the boulder and sat back down, leaning his back against it. He held out his hands and Kurt moved to sit between his legs and lean back, catching Blaine's hands and dragging them around his waist to clasp together over his belly.

 

“How's this?” Kurt asked. Blaine pulled him a little closer and put his lips on the nape of Kurt's neck, running his lips along to the soft place behind Kurt's ear and giving him a lick.

 

“I like it,” Blaine said in a soft voice. He was still dizzy from the frenzy of ten minutes ago, but he knew they had to calm down or they'd be naked and doing some very unlikely things in the public access park. 

 

Kurt wiggled, clearly happy with this turn of events as he relished the kisses to his neck. He pressed his hips back into Blaine's and got a rush as he felt Blaine's hardness against his spine. Blaine moaned a little, his breath coming faster and his lips moving across Kurt's neck. He found the spot where Kurt always got goosebumps and kissed it for a minute, then began to suck the tender flesh. Kurt gasped and then held Blaine's hands tighter around his waist. 

 

“Blaine....” he whispered and Blaine redoubled his efforts. As Kurt continued to rub his back against Blaine's erection, Blaine's hands roamed downward, his fingers just outlining Kurt's cock through his jeans. Kurt was whimpering, his senses overloading and he knew they had to stop. With no one of authority here to tell them to stop, they knew they had to police themselves and Kurt scooted forward a little. Blaine realized they were taking it too far for now and pulled back.

 

“I think we better finish our walk,” he said, his reluctance showing. Kurt turned in his arms and gave him a less frantic kiss before he struggled to his feet.

 

“We need to talk about this before it goes too far, Blaine. I'm enjoying it way too much and every time it's harder to stop,” Kurt said, putting out a hand to help Blaine to his feet.

 

“I know. We need to be responsible. I just don't know what to say right now, how to put my feelings into words,” Blaine returned.

 

“Let's walk for a while, it will get easier. I'm not sure what I'm comfortable with yet, and every time I touch you I want more.”

 

“Me, too, Kurt. Can we...just hold hands?” Blaine asked, reaching for Kurt's hand as they walked further down the path.

 

“I'd like that,” Kurt said. 

 

“Have you ever thought about kissing anyone else?” Blaine asked and Kurt looked over at him before answering.

 

“No. I like to look at guys, there are some famous people that I fantasize about I guess, but mainly I used to think about kissing you, Blaine. I kind of dream about you. I never would have done anything like try to be with you or kiss you or anything because I thought you were straight and I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship. I know we've been open with telling each other how we feel, I tell you I love you all the time. It was about a year ago that I realized I not only loved you, but I was falling in love with you,” Kurt disclosed. He was a bit bashful in telling Blaine all of this, but they had never been shy about saying anything to each other – well, except for the fact that they were gay.

 

Kurt was beginning to think he had overstepped. Blaine was still holding his hand, swinging his arm gently as they walked along. He dared to glance at Blaine's face to see if he was having a bad reaction to Kurt's revelation.

 

“I know. I have loved you since the day I walked into the acting class when I was eight and saw a sad boy that was so beautiful I thought he must be a prince. I couldn't believe you were sitting there, in the same place as I was, and you looked like you were going to cry. It was so important to me that you didn't cry, I'd have done anything. It must have been fate that brought us together. That day when Cooper forgot me and your dad stayed to make sure I was okay....well, it changed my whole life. Kurt, it was the first day I felt like I could hope, like I was worth something to somebody.”

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine and stopped walking. He held out his arms and Blaine stepped into them, unable to say anything more. Kurt understood and just patted his back for a while before rubbing up and down, waiting for Blaine to get control of his emotions. He said little comforting things into Blaine's ear and kissed his temple.

 

“You are worth something, Blaine. You are worth everything to me. Everything,” Kurt said in a tear-filled voice. “Hey now, it's okay. We're going to be fine, Blainers. This is all new to us, but we're going to be fine. I promise, we will.”

 

Blaine hugged Kurt a little tighter.

 

“I know, I know. It's just so overwhelming. I have felt lost for so much of my life and my only anchor was you and Burt. You mean everything to me. I thought I might lose you if you found out I was gay, even though your dad kept assuring me you would accept it. I hated not telling you, it felt like a lie. Will you forgive me?” Blaine asked.

 

“There is nothing to forgive, Blaine. You forget I was doing the same thing. Why were we so blind? I guess fear does that. We can go on from here, are you okay with that?” Kurt suggested. 

 

“Yes, as long as I have you in my life, I'm good,” Blaine said, and kissed Kurt quickly.

 

 

 

Back at the campsite later that evening, Kurt and Blaine were throwing a stick for Princess. She was wagging her tail, loving all the attention. 

 

“Here, girl, fetch!” Blaine called as he threw the stick. She bounded after it, grabbing it in her mouth and running back to give it to her master. They had been playing for quite a while and she was looking a bit worn out, so Blaine sat down and poured Princess some water in her bowl. 

 

They had eaten dinner, talked all afternoon, and were ready for bed. Neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before.

 

“What say we head to bed?” Blaine asked, eager to hold Kurt in his arms again.

 

“Sure,” Kurt said, catching Blaine's eye and smiling. They entered the tent and got their pajamas out of the duffel bag. Princess was lying down at the end of the mattress and dozing already when Blaine zipped the flap shut. Kurt lit the lantern 

 

Even though they had changed clothes in front of each other thousands of times, both boys were shy now and turned their backs once again to get ready for bed. Kurt turned the lamp down so it was a soft glow in the tent and climbed into the sleeping bag, Blaine right behind him.

 

“Kurt?” Blaine said, unsure of how to ask the question on his mind.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What are we? To each other, I mean. Before we were best friends. Does this change everything?” he asked.

 

“I think it does, but we can still be best friends. I hope we are best friends forever,” Kurt said.

 

“You sound like a story book, you know,” Blaine said, giggling. “I'm pretty sure that's a line from Winnie-the-Pooh.”

 

Kurt started to laugh. “Yeah, remember when we were in that play? It was years before we got rid of those nicknames. Puck still calls me Pooh Bear sometimes. I don't really mind, though. Piglet.”

 

Blaine laughed, too. He had loved performing that play with Kurt. He thought about it and all of his best memories were from times he had with Kurt. He wondered if Kurt thought so, too. 

 

“Santana found out about that and told me she thought we were more like Tigger and Eeyore,” Kurt said, trying to hide the smile. Blaine was like Tigger, always bouncing and sometimes jumping on the furniture. Blaine laughed even louder.

 

“Yeah, you do have your Eeyore moments...” Blaine said and Kurt pushed his shoulder.

 

“I do not!”

 

They pushed at each other for a few minutes, laughing until Blaine rolled over on top of Kurt and held him down. Kurt might outweigh Blaine, but he had amazingly strong arms. Kurt struggled for a few minutes then smiled at Blaine, relaxing completely. With the fight out of him, Blaine stopped struggling and just laid down next to Kurt. Kurt turned towards him and whispered, “Can we kiss again?”

 

“Always.”

 

Even though they had been kissing all day long, they couldn't get enough of each other. Blaine stroked Kurt's face, looking into his eyes to make sure this was okay, that he didn't take it too far. Kurt's eyes danced, he was happy and lighthearted, and his discovery of how good Blaine made him feel was amazing. He really liked having Blaine rest on top of him while they kissed, and so when they had locked lips for a while, Kurt tugged Blaine on top of himself. 

 

Blaine didn't object. He loved the feel of having Kurt's warm body underneath him. He was whispering things in Kurt's ear, sometimes just a moan, sometimes how good Kurt felt to him. It wasn't long before they were hot and rubbing against each other. 

 

“Kurt, we have to make some rules. Having to stop just when I feel this good is getting harder.” Blaine said when he'd taken a breath and pushed himself up away from touching Kurt. 

 

“Harder, Blaine?” Kurt giggled.

 

“Hey, you know what I mean!” Blaine said.

 

Kurt reached out a finger and just barely outlined the edge of what he could see through the soft fabric of Blaine's pajamas. Blaine felt the light touch on his cock and groaned. He lowered himself down onto Kurt again.

 

His voice was much deeper when he spoke again. “Well, if you want to play that...”

 

“I....I don't know where to draw the line, Blaine. If it were a new boyfriend, well, then it would be easy. I could go slowly and think about every step before we did it. But I've known you more than half my life, I've loved you more than half my life. How do I draw a line?” Kurt asked. 

 

“I don't know, either. I have dreamed about you, thought about what it would be like...and we have known each other for so long. What about if we do what seems right, but stop if we get uncomfortable? Or we could set a limit?”

 

“I don't think I'm ready for...everything yet. I need to talk about it first. Can you...lie next to me? I can't think with you on top of me,” Kurt grinned.

 

Blaine shifted so he was not lying on top.

 

“There. I want to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth. I'm not saying this is something I'm ready for, but I want to know before things get that far,” Kurt said very fast.

 

Blaine nodded his head in agreement.

 

“I think that if we stay together, as...boyfriends?” he looked at Blaine for confirmation and Blaine smiled and nodded at the term. If we stay along this path I might want to give you a...put my mouth on your...” Kurt could not bring himself to say it. Blaine put his hand very gently on Kurt's hand and brought it to his erection.

 

“Here?” he asked.

 

Kurt nodded and pulled his hand back. They needed to get this straightened out without distraction.

 

“I need to know if what happened to you in your basement, what Jenn did to you... is going to affect that. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. You know what I mean?” Kurt asked shyly.

 

“I understand. A few years ago it might have upset me, but now? No. At least I don't think so, not if it's you. So we'll just have to talk about it when the time comes. Are you okay with that?”

 

“Yeah. I am,” Kurt replied.

 

Kurt leaned up and found Blaine's lips once again, licking his bottom lip for a moment before Blaine accepted the invitation and moved his tongue into Kurt's warm mouth. His tongue was soft and Kurt liked this...the warm flesh as he was touched in places he didn't think anyone ever touched before. 

 

Blaine took a breath and asked if they were done talking for now and Kurt agreed. Then he slowly rolled back onto Kurt's body, their erections finding each other and rubbing together while they kissed.

 

The thin cotton of their pajamas was much better for this activity than their jeans and it didn't take long for the pair to get serious. Blaine rolled off of Kurt, who whimpered thinking he was stopping the activity once again. Blaine ran his fingers down Kurt's cheek and gave him a chaste kiss on the mouth, then moved down to kiss his neck once more. He started unbuttoning the pajama top, kissing the bits of skin it exposed and listening to Kurt as he whimpered again, as if coaxing Blaine to do more. Blaine's hand was at Kurt's knee and slowly moved up to his hip. Kurt was lying back, eyes closed and panting. He knew he would let Blaine do anything he wanted right now.

 

Just as Blaine got to his belly with the kisses, he touched Kurt's hardness and Kurt moaned. It was so much better than he thought it would be.

 

“Blaine, take off your pajamas, too. Please?” Kurt asked. Blaine removed his top by pulling it over his head while Kurt shook his off of his shoulders. They stopped briefly to hug, the feeling of skin on skin was just a catalyst for taking off the rest. 

 

Both boys naked now, Kurt settled back down on the air mattress, tugging Blaine after him. They were side by side and Blaine watched Kurt's eyes while he used one finger to skim the shaft of his cock, pulling another moan from Kurt's throat. 

 

“More, please, Blaine...” he whispered and Blaine set his fingers around the thick shaft. Kurt reached for Blaine and they were soon both stroking. 

 

“Wait...” Kurt said, fumbling at the side of the air mattress for his kit, zipping it open and taking out the tube of lubricant. He took Blaine's hand and squeezed some onto his palm, then some into his own. They looked at each other, frozen in a moment and knowing this would change everything again. Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheek and lowered his hand.

 

“Are you ready for this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

He put his palm on Kurt's cock, smoothing the gel from base to tip and then stopped as Kurt followed his example. They started with smooth, slow strokes. Blaine could not believe how this felt and wasn't shy about telling Kurt so. He moaned loudly as his cock got harder with every stroke. He soon forgot that he was touching Kurt when he got lost in the amazing feeling. Kurt was fine with that, it was hard to concentrate when he was so distracted.

 

Moving closer, he was practically in Blaine's lap as he quickened his movements. He thought about how he liked to do this to himself and moved a little to his left to get the right angle, then increased his strokes, alternating with a twist of his wrist to go over the tip on the end of the stroke. Blaine was now bucking his hips a little, his hands fisted in the sleeping bag. Kurt gave it a last minute's thought and grabbed his pajama shirt – he didn't want to sleep in a wet sleeping bag. 

 

“Oh, Kurt...oh, it's so good, so good for me...oh, it's coming...it's coming....” and he moaned loudly as streaks of semen shot into the pajama shirt that Kurt was holding. He continued to pump gently all through Blaine's climax until Blaine held up his hand and laid it on Kurt's wrist, panting and sweating. 

 

Kurt leaned over to kiss him and Blaine took him in his arms and covered his face with kisses.

 

“C'mere, Kurt...oh, that was....” he didn't finish his sentence, but Kurt understood. In a few minutes Blaine had his breath back and was up leaning on his elbow and forearm, pressing Kurt to the mattress. He tickled his belly and Kurt giggled a little, his eyes dark and wanting. Blaine stopped to get more lube and touched Kurt, making him jump.

 

“Oh...that's cold,” he said, scooting his ass closer to Blaine so he didn't have to reach so far.

 

“It'll warm up, I promise,” he whispered and began a slow stroke. Kurt was high on adrenaline from Blaine's climax so it didn't take long until he was rock hard and gripping Blaine's other wrist. Blaine was kissing his neck once again and Kurt had a handful of sleeping bag. His body was stiff as Kurt tried to wait. He didn't want to come right away, he wanted this to last as long as possible. Blaine saw that and slowed a little, taking back his other hand so he could cup Kurt's balls as he stroked. A groan that was almost like a wild animal came out of Kurt's throat, a desperate sound.

 

“It's okay, Kurt...you're okay...” Blaine soothed, knowing this was new to Kurt. It didn't feel the same as it was when you did it to yourself. Blaine ran his fingers up to the base and wrapped his hand around so he was stroking Kurt with two hands.

 

“Ah...Blaine...Blaine...” Kurt moaned, his eyes closed and his head flung back. Blaine continued his rhythmic strokes, back to one hand now as he got faster. It was only a minute or so later that Kurt called his name again and he held the pajama shirt ready and Kurt came in thick bursts into the soft fabric, shouting and moaning. 

 

“Oh, my god, Blaine...why haven't we been doing that all along?” he asked, lying back in the sleeping bag and closing his eyes. 

 

“I've been wondering that myself,” Blaine said, taking Kurt into his arms and pulling the other sleeping bag over them. They just snuggled together under the cover, relishing the warm embrace and sated feeling of having just had sex for the first time. It just felt so right for both of them. 

 

“I love you, Pooh-Bear,” Blaine said, teasing Kurt with the nickname.

 

“I love you, too, Piglet.”


	7. Seventeen Years Old

“Shhhhhhh.... I don't want Dad to hear us,” Kurt whispered, thinking of placing his hand over his boyfriend's mouth. He decided to kiss him instead. They were making out in the basement bedroom where they had been sent like naughty children when Blaine's father came to talk to Burt. 

  


Palmer Anderson and Burt had been up there for almost an hour and the boys were really anxious about what was going on. They knew it had to do with the school dance and their subsequent days in the hospital, but had no idea what the outcome would be.

  


“Blaine, I'm pretty sure he won't take you away....nobody is that cruel. He knows we're best friends,” Kurt tried to comfort his boyfriend.

  


“Neither of them know we're boyfriends. Nobody knows that but Mercedes and Sam. I have no idea what my father will do – and I'm scared,” Blaine said, burying his face in Kurt's neck. 

  


“I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens,” Kurt said, rubbing Blaine's back. “Surely your dad wasn't serious about sending you to boarding school in Switzerland...was he?”

  


“I don't know. He sent Cooper to one in England when he was in high school. Cooper liked it for a while, but he got homesick and got them to let him come back home. I think they just did that so he could babysit me, though,” Blaine said, sounding almost despondent. “Kurt, I can't go away to some school. I want to stay here with you. I love you,” Blaine held him tighter.

  


“I don't believe Dad will let them do that. Let's just wait and see.”

  


 

  


~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

  


 

  


_Lima General Hospital – Three weeks ago:_

  


 

  


_Burt ran into the emergency room reception area, his hands sweating and his head aching. He looked around for a moment, then approached the desk._

  


“ _I'm Burt Hummel. My boys were brought here, I got a call from the police....where are they?”_

  


“ _Mr. Hummel, if you would please step into the consultation room tI will page their nurse and she will meet you in just a few minutes,” the receptionist said, directing him to a small room at the side of the main waiting room._

  


“ _Can't you tell me what...” Burt started, clearly upset, but the receptionist put a calming had on his arm._

  


“ _I can't tell you, I don't have the information, but the nurse will...oh, here she is now. Carole, this is Mr. Hummel. He's here for Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson,” the woman said, then returned to her desk. Carole waved Burt into the room and asked him to sit down. She walked over to the trolley in the corner and poured a cup of coffee and brought it to him._

  


“ _Thank you,” Burt said, then, “What's going on? Where are my boys?”_

  


_Carole looked at Burt for a few moments, judging how blunt she could be. Evaluating parents was important when it came to seriously injured children. She waned to be gentle with the information, but she could see this man could take the truth without having to couch it in euphemisms or to have a doctor present. She sat next to him and took his hand in her two, knowing his world was about to fall apart. As a single mother raising a boy the same age, she understood how he was feeling._

  


“ _Kurt is in surgery right now. He had a badly broken orbital bone in his face and the orthopedic surgeon is setting it. It would have been too painful to do that without anesthesia,” Carole told him. She had been the bearer of bad news like this for nine years now, and it never got easier. She watched Burt for signs of stress and gaged he was upset but taking the news okay. She continued._

  


“ _Blaine is under observation. He has a deep gash to his left side and they are doing an ultrasound right now to assess the damage. He is awake, but sedated and is getting an IV drip to maintain his fluids and he's had demerol. That is an opiate that keeps the pain levels down. I understand you are his guardian?” she asked._

  


_Burt took a paper out of his pocket to present to her and she took it._

  


“ _I'll just get a copy of this and return it to you. I cannot tell you certain things because of the confidentiality act because they are both seventeen...” she started to say, but Burt interrupted her._

  


“ _I know they are both gay if that's what you're dancing around,” he said bluntly._

  


“ _Okay, that makes it easier. I understand that they were attending a high school dance and were walking to their car in the parking lot when they were attacked. The police have three boys and a girl in custody now. Luckily for your boys, there were several other kids there with good heads on their shoulders who stopped the bleeding and called an ambulance. I believe they are in the waiting room now. I haven't been able to tell them much, but perhaps you could soothe them?” she said, a small smile on her lips._

  


“ _Of course. I'll go out as soon as I've seen Blaine. When will Kurt be in recovery?” Burt asked._

  


“ _Not long, maybe another half hour,” Carole said. She reached over and patted his arm. Personal contact was often good in cases like this. “Your boys are strong, they're going to be okay.”_

  


_A beep went off on her pager and she looked at the number, then picked up the phone on the desk in the corner and dialed. She spoke for a few minutes, then turned to wave Burt to come with her._

  


“ _Blaine is back from his ultrasound and the doctor wants to talk with you,” she said and took Burt to a small room down the hallway. Burt walked in to find Blaine on a gurney, pale and not very coherent. He was having trouble focusing his eyes, but as soon as he realized it was Burt standing there he burst into tears._

  


“ _Blaine, kiddo, I'm here. We're going to get you fixed up,” he said, taking the boy's hand._

  


“ _Burt...” was all he said for a moment, then, “How's Kurt? Is Kurt....”_

  


“ _He has a broken bone, but he's fine. You'll get to see him in a while, I promise,” Burt said, brushing the hair from Blaine's eyes as gently as he could and placed a kiss on his forehead. Blaine closed his eyes and squeezed Burt's hand._

  


_The doctor waved Burt outside and explained to him that Blaine had a knife wound that had nicked his kidney. He would need to have immediate surgery, but it wasn't too dangerous a thing and if they repaired it immediately, the kidney would still function to full capacity. Burt gave his permission and went to kiss Blaine's head once more._

  


“ _Remember I love you, son,” Burt said. They wheeled Blaine out of the room and allowed Burt to stay with him until they gave him the medications to make him sleepy before the surgery. Burt held his hand until he was unconscious, then walked back to the waiting room to let Mercedes, Tina, Sam, and Puck know how the boys were doing. He stayed a while until the woman, Carole, came back to take him to Kurt._

  


 

  


~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

  


 

  


“You Know your parents do love you, Blaine. When we went to the hospital and Dad called them, they got an emergency flight and were here by the next afternoon. I know they'll take us and our friendship into consideration. Dad will tell them without making anyone upset I think. We have to have faith,” Kurt said, holding Blaine's head in his lap and stroking his hair, running his fingers through the curls.

  


“I hope so, Kurt. I can't be away from you.”

  


Blaine sat up and shifted closer to Kurt, kissing the right side of his face, then his lips. Kurt responded and soon they were making out, hands running down each other's sides. 

  


Blaine still had bandages around his belly and a tube going to a plastic bag which was strapped to his ankle. He would have to have the drain for another week, then it was likely the urologist would be able to remove it. Kurt still had a small bandage on his face, but each time he saw the doctor the bandage got smaller. He would probably always have the tiny scar from where they had to set the orbital bone around his eye, but it would heal just fine. He was lucky, the blow might have been fatal if it had been a few centimeters to the left because it would have hit his temple. 

  


Blaine heard the steps on the stairs and they pulled apart before the door opened.

  


“Come upstairs, boys. We need to talk to you,” Burt said.

  


 

  


Sitting in the dining room, Blaine took Kurt's hand where nobody could see under the table and squeezed it in reassurance. He wasn't going to let their parents separate them and suddenly he was glad they had kept their boyfriend status a secret. Surely that would affect this in a negative way. It had been hard enough on Blaine when he saw his parents at the hospital for the first time. 

  


The police had told them the circumstances of the attack and apparently that was when they found out he was gay. He never had the nerve-shattering moment when he came out to them, but the aftermath would probably have been the same. It was like they completely ignored it. Blaine tried to tell himself that it was better than if they had screamed and yelled at him, but somehow it just underlined what he had been feeling since he was a small child: that his parents didn't love him enough to care one way or the other. Blaine was startled into rejoining the conversation when Kurt squeezed his hand again.

  


“Blaine, I know you love your Glee club and boxing, but your mother and I do not feel you're safe at McKinley any more. There is just no guarantee that you'll be safe because the staff and administration seem to think that your safety is not of the utmost priority. You have expressed to me and your mother that you don't want to go to boarding school abroad. I still think that would be the best for you, but I understand the concerns you've expressed to me,” Palmer said.

  


“Thank you, father,” Blaine said. Huh, maybe he did listen to Blaine? That was hard to believe, but he was willing to listen to what his father had to say before he started to plea his case.

  


“With that in mind, I have done some research and you are now registered at a boarding school in Westerville, just two hours from here. Dalton Academy has one of the highest academic records in America and the best part is that they also have a no-bullying policy. I have been reassured that it is strictly enforced and I do believe you will be safe there,” Blaine's father said to him, watching for his son's reaction.

  


“But? Don't I get a say in this?” Blaine almost shouted, his heart pounding. He could not possibly be taken away from everything he loved. This was so unfair.

  


“No. I've already paid the tuition. You start in three weeks, as soon as winter vacation is over,” Palmer took his son's hand. “Blaine, son, we are not doing this to punish you. We are doing this because we love you and want you to be safe. Don't you understand that?” his eyes were on the verge of tears watching his son try to contain himself. “Now, if you will listen to the rest, I want to explain what will happen.”

  


“Of course, father,” Blaine said, lowering his eyes and biting his lower lip to keep from crying. He was seventeen and clearly old enough to hold himself together he said over and over in his head.

  


Princess was at his side, trying to gain access to his lap to lick his face. She saw it as her duty to keep him calm and was getting frantic to fulfill that duty. Blaine scooted his chair back a bit and allowed her to put her front legs on his lap so he could rub behind her ears. It was calming for both Blaine and Princess to do that, and the dog calmed down. Mr. Anderson continued, watching Blaine's face to see his reaction. He really did care about Blaine, he genuinely loved the boy – he just never learned how to show that love.

  


“I know that Kurt is your best friend and we owe him a debt of gratitude for all he and Burt have done for you over the years. In no way am I saying that money could ever repay the debt I owe them, but I do have the means to give Kurt something,” Palmer said.

  


Kurt's eyebrows went up and his eyes were centered on Blaine's father now. He didn't know him well, but he'd been a guest in the Anderson house many times. He didn't want to be paid for caring for Blaine -that was just wrong. He started to open his mouth when Burt put a hand on his leg. He glanced at his father for a moment and Burt gave him a barely-there shake of his head, asking Kurt to be silent. Kurt nodded in the same way and kept his mouth shut.

  


“After discussing it with Mr. Hummel, we have agreed that I will also pay the tuition along with room and board for Kurt to attend Dalton Academy. The two of you will board there and come home here on the weekends. I trust that will meet with your approval?” Palmer looked worried that they boys wouldn't agree, but Blaine hopped up, pushing Princess gently to the floor and hugging his father.

  


Palmer was at a loss to know where to put his hands. He wanted to hug his son, he did love him, but he was worried because of the bandages. It hurt him inside every time he saw the tubes and bandages that were the reminders of what had happened. Palmer didn't know how to take the news of his son's sexual orientation and he was also at a loss as to how to talk to him about it. He settled for very tentatively putting his arms around Blaine's shoulders and hugging very gently. He was surprised when Blaine melted into his side. Blaine was warm and it felt genuine. Palmer sighed in relief. Maybe he could learn how to be closer to his son after all.

  


“Thank you, father. Oh, thank you so much,” Blaine grinned, looking over at Kurt who was looking a bit stunned. Kurt was looking at his own dad, astonishment written all over his face. Well, the part of his face that wasn't under bandages anyway.

  


“Kurt, I hope that's what you want, kiddo. I want you to be safe, too, and when Palmer offered, I agreed. You'll start at Dalton with Blaine in January,” Burt said to his son.

  


“Oh...yes, I...thank you, Mr. Anderson. Thank you so much,” Kurt said, still looking like he was in shock. His dad held his hand for a moment, hoping this would work out.

  


 

  


Blaine's father was getting used to the idea that his son was gay. He and Blaine's mother, Phoebe Anderson came to Blaine's bedside in the hospital and held Blaine's hand until he woke up. It had been a big shock, but after talking to Burt about Kurt and how the boys had gone to the dance as friends, he finally came to the conclusion that if this was who Blaine was, he would do his best to learn to accept it. He loved his younger son, but he just never knew how to connect with him. He was more than grateful to Burt for helping him understand.

  


Phoebe had stayed by Blaine's bedside for the time he was in the hospital, taking turns with her husband so someone was always with Blaine. He was sharing a room with Kurt and Burt was often there, too. 

  


Despite the circumstances, Burt and Palmer got along fine. The boys were often asleep and the two fathers would talk. Burt was able to discuss what he had learned about having a gay son, encouraging Palmer to ask questions. Little by little, he was accepting Blaine's orientation and coming to terms with his fear of what Blaine's life was going to be like when Blaine told people he was gay. The one thing he could never understand, and Burt couldn't come up with an answer, was why a gay boy would _want_ to tell people. He didn't mean he should be ashamed of who he was or keep it a secret - but why would it come up in conversation at all? He certainly didn't have conversations with anyone about the fact that he was straight, his sexuality was something between him and his wife. So why would a gay man feel some sort of obligation to discuss this with the general population? He would probably never get an answer to that.

  


The day after they released Kurt and Blaine from the hospital, Phoebe spent most of the day in Blaine's bedroom at the Hummel house. She was a bit uncomfortable there, but they had all agreed that Blaine was better off there where Burt could take care of him. On her last day there, she kissed her son goodbye and had to go back to Europe to finish their business, but Palmer would be staying until Blaine was well again. 

  


Burt had even set up the guest room upstairs so Palmer could stay closer to his son. It was probably the closest Palmer and Blaine had ever been, and Blaine was beginning to have hope that his father would be something approaching the good father Burt was in time. He knew it was unfair to compare the two men, but he just couldn't help it. 

  


 

  


~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

  


 

  


**A week before the end of winter break, Hummel house.**

  


 

  


Blaine sat in the back seat of his Chevy, Kurt was in the front with Burt. They were on their way to the clinic at the hospital to Blaine's appointment with his urologist. He could have gone with just Burt, but he'd begged Kurt to come with him. He couldn't admit it out loud, but he was scared. This whole thing had been awful. The pain of the surgery, the fear when Burt explained that the knife had nicked his kidney and he'd have to have surgery, waking up to see his parents standing over him: it had all been so frightening from the first minute he had heard the bullies yelling slurs at him.

  


He hadn't been as scared for his own life as he had been for Kurt. Blaine might be gay, but he didn't dress in flamboyant clothing or match insults with the bullies like Kurt did. Not that there was anything wrong in Kurt being himself – indeed Blaine envied him that sometimes – but Blaine envied Kurt's ability to just be himself. Blaine felt that he was hiding sometimes. They still didn't let it be known that they were anything more than best friends, but they did hold hands in the hallway and that was enough apparently for him to become a target that night.

  


He didn't remember much about the attack itself, just being scared for Kurt and then feeling like he was surrounded by a hundred people and struggling to get to Kurt. He remembered the knife...as if it was alone and not held by anyone, but some sort of surreal nightmare where the knife stabbed him by itself. He felt the pain, then nothing else until he woke up in the Emergency Room with a woman stroking his forehead and talking to him, telling him he was safe now and that he would be all right. 

  


He had asked for Kurt, but she told him Kurt was in another room and he would see him soon. He told her his name and that Burt Hummel was his guardian, then he felt the woman putting a needle in his arm and he got sleepy as the pain receded into the back of his mind. The next thing he knew, Burt was standing there looking pale and frightened. Most of it was a blur of images that didn't make sense, except he knew he was calling to Kurt. He went to sleep when the woman told him they were giving him some medication and when he woke up, Burt was there and he hurt so badly. 

  


He woke up later to see Kurt in a bed across from him in a little room. He called to Kurt and his boyfriend came quickly to his side, his face bandaged.

  


“Blaine, oh.....Blaine, my sweet Blaine...” Kurt had said, holding his hand and kissing him. Kurt had stayed there by his side, telling him what the doctors had done. Blaine had never been so sleepy in his life and he dozed off, only to wake and find his parents there.

  


It had been a long two weeks, but they were finally home. He was allowed to have Kurt with him, but they had to sleep in separate beds now because of his surgery and all the tubes coming from inside his body. It was the most embarrassing thing to have Burt come to empty the urine bag that was hanging by the bedside. After another week, Kurt had taken over that duty and it wasn't quite so bad. Today the doctor was probably going to remove it.

  


 

  


They sat in the waiting room, Burt reading a magazine and Kurt holding Blaine's hand. Kurt knew Blaine was nervous and so he snuggled closer, tugging Blaine into his side and putting his arm around the other boy. Blaine sighed into Kurt's embrace, feeling a little better.

  


 

  


In the exam room, the doctor was reading the x-rays and cat scan report.

  


“Well, Blaine, it looks like you've healed up quite nicely. I think we can lose that tube you've been dragging around behind you, okay?”

  


“Yes, sir!” Blaine smiled for an instant, then a look of apprehension came over his face. “Is it...is it going to hurt a lot?”

  


“I won't lie to you, Blaine. Yes, it will for a few seconds. It's like tearing a bandaid off a still sore wound. But, it will be over and you'll feel better. Ready?” he asked, clipping the stitch that held the tubing to Blaine's skin. He had a stack of towels under Blaine's side to catch any fluids that might come out and a sterile container to hold the tubing once it was removed. He painted some kind of reddish-purple liquid all around the place where the tube went in.

  


“Kurt, if you want to come hold him, I think Blaine could use some comfort about now. Burt, if you would come, too,” the doctor said, aware of how afraid Blaine was. 

  


Burt came and took one of Blaine's hands and put an arm around his shoulder. Kurt took the other hand and Blaine leaned his head into Kurt's chest, his eyes closed tight. The doctor checked to make sure the stitch was out of his skin and began to pull on the tubing, extracting it from Blaine's back. Blaine was shaking a little and Kurt let go of his hand to stroke his curls and hold his cheek close to his chest. He murmured encouraging words as the doctor pulled. 

  


Blaine tried to keep quiet, but a few whimpers got out, and Burt was feeling decidedly sick to his stomach. He didn't do well with these things: blood, body fluids, and hearing Blaine in pain just doubled his nausea. He held on to Blaine and turned his face away, but the whines got a little louder. Burt felt his knees shake and he prayed the doctor would hurry up.

  


“It's almost done, Blaine. It's coming along perfectly. I know it hurts, but it's almost over,” the doctor sympathized. He really liked this kid and he felt so badly for him. He had children of his own and having to repair a knife wound on a small seventeen year old boy had really hit him hard. But he was a professional and had set aside his personal feelings. He got to the end of the tubing and pulled a bit harder to get the end piece out, placing the whole tubing kit in the sterile container to dispose of.

  


“There, is it feeling okay now?” he asked, holding a stack of gauze pads over the hole in Blaine's side.

  


“Yeah, it does. Thank you,” Blaine said, ever the gentleman. Burt squeezed his hands and let go, walking over to sit in the chair before he knees collapsed. Kurt stopped carding through Blaine's hair, but didn't leave his side.

  


“I'm going to bandage this, then you need to stay out of the pool, bathtub, and shower for three days. You can shower after that, but no immersion in water until the incision is closed. It might be pretty sore for a few days, so I'm giving you a prescription for more codeine. Let me know if there is any swelling, redness, discharge, or increased pain. If you don't have any more questions, you are free to go. I need to see you in two weeks,” he smiled a Blaine and patted his back. “You are one brave young man, Blaine. Remember that.”

  


 

  


Burt followed the doctor out of the room to set the next appointment. The boys held back for a minute.

  


“Are you okay for real, Blaine?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded. Kurt was standing in front of Blaine had his shirt in his hand to help him put it back on, but leaned forward and placed his lips on Blaine's mouth. They kissed for a few moments before Kurt slipped the polo shirt back on Blaine. Blaine stood up, tucking the shirt in his jeans and turned to Kurt to get one more kiss before they left. It had been so hard to get time alone together with Burt, Phoebe, and Palmer all watching over Blaine. They craved the intimate moments from before the attack and now it seemed as if they could get back to being themselves alone. Palmer had left for New York the night before, and Kurt had slept with Blaine again, finally being able to hold him in his arms all night. Kurt gave Blaine one more peck on the corner of his mouth and took his hand to go find Burt.

  


 

  


Walking down the hospital corridor to the parking lot, the two boys turned the corner to find something they never thought they would ever see. There was Burt, with the ER nurse that had been with the boys the night of the attack. They were standing in an alcove, arms around each other and kissing. Kurt and Blaine just stood there, eyes wide and mouths open for a long minute before Kurt got a smirk on his face and coughed . Loudly. 

  


Carole and Burt sprung apart in an instant, both blushing.

  


“Ah, I can explain this...” Burt said as Kurt stood there, arms crossed and toe tapping on the linoleum floor. Burt just stood there for a moment when Kurt and Blaine couldn't hold it in any more and began to laugh. Burt blushed even darker and Carole smiled, a little giggle breaking out.

  


“Well, Nurse Carole, would you like to join us for Friday night dinner?” Kurt asked, causing his father's eyes to snap open in wild disbelief.

  


“I would like to very much, thank you for asking me. Can I have the address and I'll see you then,” she said, still giggling at Burt's reaction. Kurt gave her the address and his cell number.

  


“Dinner is at seven, but you are welcome to come at six and relax before we eat,” Kurt offered. “We'll look forward to seeing you there,” Kurt said, taking Blaine's arm he walked out the door to the car. 

  


He and Blaine got in the back and laughed until their sides ached. Burt finally emerged from the building and sat in the driver's seat. It was a very quiet ride home.

  


About three blocks before their house, Kurt spoke up to break the silence.

  


“Anything you'd like to tell us, Dad?” Blaine asked in a perfect imitation of Burt's voice. Kurt had his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

  


“No.” Burt said, but they could see the bright red blush going up his neck and neither boy could hold in the laughter any more. They got home and Burt went straight to his room, shutting the door firmly. 

  


 

  


~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

  


 

  


**Dalton Academy, Candelaria Residence Hall**

  


 

  


“Well, this looks...ah...cozy?” Blaine said, sitting on his bed in their new dorm room. Kurt was sitting across the room on his bed and they had just finished unpacking their things and putting them away in the drawers and closet. 

  


“You're too far away, Blaine. Way too far...” Kurt whined. Blaine got up and walked slowly over to Kurt's bed, a smile on his face. He sat down next to Kurt and put his arms around him, leaning in to kiss him.

  


“Better?” he asked.

  


“Yes, much. But not quite close enough,” Kurt said and got up. He climbed into Blaine's lap and pushed his boyfriend back onto the bed giving him a deep kiss, his tongue soft and warm in Blaine's mouth as a moan escaped. Kurt pushed Blaine's legs apart with his knees and lay between his legs, grinding a little to get just where he wanted to be. Blaine was showing his appreciation in Kurt's favorite way – the bulge in his suit pants getting harder as Kurt pushed closer. 

  


“Mmmm....that feels good,” Kurt said, kissing down Blaine's neck. They were celebrating a little victory over the administration.

  


It was Dalton policy to put new students in dorm rooms with older students that had been there a longer time, a way to ease the new boys into the rhythms and cadences of the school. It was a way to make them feel more secure and teach them the rules as they went along, a mentoring program of sorts. 

  


Kurt and Blaine both objected, having spent more than half their lives together sharing the same bed, but that probably wasn't the best argument. Kurt had spoken very seriously to the headmaster in his office, explaining about Blaine's surgery and that he still had to have his bandages changed and hinted of other things of urinary nature that needed to be taken care of, and how it would be devastating to have a stranger do that for him. Headmaster Ethridge, who had been informed of the attack on the boys, didn't wish to have that detailed to him and immediately agreed that this was a special case and they boys should room together. Kurt had come out of the office quite proud of himself for his verbal fancy footwork, winking at Blaine when no one was watching. There was no more argument and Kurt and Blaine were now in room 206 in Candelaria Hall, one of three dorms at Dalton Academy. 

  


It had already been a long process to have Princess allowed in the dorm. Blaine's father was forced to mention his lawyer and a certain Ohio state law concerning service dogs before that was established. Kurt and Blaine were allotted a place beyond the parking lot to take Princess to relieve herself and had to promise to be responsible in taking care of her. Princess was fitted with a dark green vest that proclaimed her to be a service dog along with a leash that had to be attached to her collar when she was in the classrooms. Dalton was a place that taught its students how to act like gentlemen and the headmaster saw no reason the dog would interrupt classes once he had met her. She simply lay down at Blaine's feet when he sat down and when he began to get a bit anxious, she pressed her body against him and he calmed down. Headmaster Ethridge was a keen observer and saw this, and his heart went out to the boy. He allowed Blaine to keep the dog in his room with no qualms after that.

  


 

  


It was approaching dinner time and Kurt was lying on his bed with Blaine's head resting on his chest. They had been kissing for hours it seemed and now they were hungry.

  


“Let's go down to the dining hall. We can at least try their food before we have to go find a restaurant. It's awfully cold outside with the snow and all,” Blaine said, sitting up and shifting Kurt off of his chest. Kurt whined for a second, but got up cheerfully enough. It was Friday night and they had the weekend to figure out where everything was before classes started on Monday morning. Kurt and Blaine took turns in the bathroom getting ready for their dinner. Blaine walked out of the bathroom tucking his red linen shirt into his black skinny jeans when he looked up to see Kurt. 

  


Kurt was wearing incredibly tight fawn colored pants and a chocolate silk shirt, a cream brocade vest that showed off his wide shoulders and thin waist. He was just lacing up a pair of calf-skin boots, his foot resting on his desk chair and showing off his 'ass'ets quite nicely, thank you very much.

  


“Let me help you with that,” Blaine offered, quickly going to Kurt's side to feel along the backside of the tight pants. “I like these pants on you, Kurt. Maybe we should stay in the room instead. I could help you out of these.”

  


“I thought you were hungry,” Kurt said, trying to keep a straight face.

  


“Oh, I am....” Blaine said in a deep, low voice.

  


“I meant for food,” Kurt said, a self-satisfied smile on his face.

  


“I think I have a candy bar in my jacket pocket, we can share that,” Blaine said, his fingers exploring the fit of the pants as his lips got closer to Kurt.

  


 

  


_Knock knock._

  


 

  


The door opened and standing there were two boys. Their eyes got big for a minute as they took in the view, and smirking smiles followed.

  


“Well, Nick, I guess we're too late. Looks like the new guys have their dinner all planned already,” the tall blond one said in a cute Australian accent.

  


“I don't know, Jeff. I think maybe we need to stay and teach them how the locks work on the dorms, they don't look like they are too thrilled that we're here,” the brunette standing next to him said. “Which is too bad because they might miss the opportunity to meet and greet all the best students here at Dalton.

  


“Ah...come in?” Kurt said, a bit apprehensively. Blaine had moved slightly in front of him when the door opened, but was now standing beside Kurt. 

  


“I thought you'd never ask!” the brunette, Nick, said, walking into the room and making himself comfortable on Blaine's bed. Jeff bounced in behind him and sat beside Nick on the bed.

  


“I heard there were two new students in the dorm, so we came to meet you. We read over your school records and saw you were both in Glee Show Choir, so The Warblers are ready to meet you. If you don't mind, follow us,” Nick said.

  


“How did you get our records?” Kurt asked, suspicious. He frowned at the two boys. This was supposed to be a no-bully policy school, strictly enforced, so why were they being led to stand before this...Warbler group?

  


“Ah...one of the guys works in the office. He screens the new applicants for singing experience and he called our leader. We all know about the two of you,” Jeff grinned. 

  


The frown lines in Kurt's forehead deepened.

  


“And just exactly what does _that_ mean?” Kurt asked. 

  


“It means that you are cordially invited to a Warbler meeting. Now. Would you like to accompany us to the practice room?” Jeff asked again. “We're harmless, I promise.”

  


Blaine looked at Kurt and Kurt nodded.

  


“Hey, a dog!” Jeff grinned. “How did you sneak her in here?”

  


“I didn't. Headmaster Ethridge knows she's here. She shook hands with him,” Blaine grinned.

  


Jeff's eyes got big.

  


“You're kidding me...Ethridge doesn't even like dogs,” Nick said. Princess was standing next to Blaine and he slipped her vest on. She had to wear it whenever they left the dorm room.

  


“Ah, I beg to differ, he sure seemed to like Princess,” Kurt said, not sure he liked these new boys. 

  


“Oh, she's a service dog. Okay, that makes more sense. Sorry, I didn't mean to give you a bad time,” Nick said, taking back the hand he had offered to the dog. “I know you're not supposed to approach a service dog on duty.”

  


“It's okay now, she isn't working yet.”

  


Nick offered his hand again and Princess wagged her tail. Jeff did the same and she wagged at him, too.

  


“They can't be all bad if Princess likes them,” Blaine stage-whispered to Kurt and got shy smiles from Nick and Jeff.

  


“Okay, we'll go,” Blaine said, slipping into his loafers, Princess at his side. Kurt finished lacing his boots and they followed Jeff and Nick down several hallways, across a closed-in breezeway and into the dark building that housed the classrooms.

  


Jeff led them into a large room that looked quite formal with shelves of books, walnut desks with globes and other instruments on them, leather chesterfield sofas, brocade over-stuffed chairs, and bay windows that looked out on the rolling lawns that were now covered with pristine snow. 

  


“This looks like something out of Masterpiece Theatre,” Kurt whispered to Blaine as they were directed to sit in a pair of matching Hepplewhite chairs at the front of the room.

  


“Men, attention. The Warblers' auxiliary meeting will come to order,” a boy dressed in a dark blazer with red piping banged a gavel on the large library table in front of him. He looked at the two newcomers with a smile on his face.

  


“I'll turn the floor over to Warbler Jeff Sterling,” the boy with the gavel said.

  


“Nick and I would like to introduce you all to Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and this is his service dog, Princess,” Jeff said with a big smile. All the boys in the room said hello.

  


“This is our esteemed leader, Wes Montgomery,” Jeff went on, waving at the boy with the gavel. “If we can just be casual, I think we'd all like to meet the new prospects. They both come from McKinley High in Lima and were in the show choir there,” Jeff finished.

  


The boys in the room all cheered and Nick led Kurt and Blaine over to the nearest sofa. The Warblers came a few at a time to meet them and by the end of the hour they had met each boy. 

  


“Well, do you think you'd like to join?” Wes asked.

  


“Ah, I'm not sure, I haven't heard you sing yet,” Kurt said.

  


“Fair enough. Warblers?” he called and the boys went to their places. David sounded a note on his pitch pipe. 

  


The Warblers burst into song, “Uptown Girl” reverberating in the room as they danced and sang. Kurt and Blaine couldn't keep their eyes off the singers, amazed at the sound and spectacle in front of their eyes. The Warblers finished, smiles on their faces as their audience of two clapped in appreciation.

  


“Yes, yes, yes...we would love to audition for the Warblers!” Kurt said, looking at Blaine for confirmation though he already knew the answer.

  


“Great, we can arrange that this week,” Wes said. “In the mean time, we'd like to take you to dinner. You'll get enough of school food, and tonight is the cook's night off and you don't want cold sandwiches I bet.”

  


“Dinner sounds lovely,” Blaine accepted and they left to get their coats.

  


 

  


~KBKBKBKBKBKB~

  


 

  


Coming back from the wonderful dinner with Jeff, Nick, Wes, and Trent, Nick leaned in and told the boys to dress in very warm clothes and meet back at the Senior Commons where they had gone to meet the Warblers before dinner.

  


 

  


“Hey, Kurt, what do you think about the Warblers? Do you think it will be as fun as New Directions?”

  


“Yes, but probably in a different way. With New Directions it was about everyone being different and celebrating that difference. I think the Warblers is more...making a cohesive group even though everyone is different. I think it will be a challenge, though. I'm up for it,” Kurt smiled at his boyfriend.

  


“Yeah, I can see that. I think we'll be okay here....all those guys seemed nice. Do you think Nick and Jeff are a couple?” Blaine asked. They hadn't been holding hands or anything, but they did seem to be somehow together.

  


“I have no idea. Ready?” Kurt asked, donning his heavy wool coat and handing Blaine a thick scarf. They opened the door to find Jeff in Nick's arms, kissing. The two jumped apart, blushing.

  


“Ah, I think the answer to your question is 'yes', Blaine,” Kurt giggled. 

  


“Hey, don't you knock?” Nick asked.

  


“To leave our dorm room?” Blaine asked, laughing. 

  


“Oh. I guess you do have a point. Okay...well, let's get going,” Jeff said, taking Nick's hand and kissing it as they walked down the corridor.

  


 

  


They met the other Warblers at the top of the south lawn where it had a gentle slope down to the walls of Dalton's Ross Hall. Many of the Warblers had sleds, some had inner tubes and they cheered as Kurt, Blaine, Jeff, and Nick showed up.

  


“We're all present and accounted for,” Wes said. “Let the games begin!”

  


All the boys took turns sliding down the long hill, Kurt finding himself on a sled close to Blaine as they navigated the bumps on the hill and skillfully avoiding a crash into the stone fence at the end of the run. They fell into the snow laughing, Kurt taking a small handful of the powdery substance and sneaking it down the back of Blaine's coat.

  


“Hey!” Blaine shouted and the fight was on. They wrestled in the deep snow, sinking deeper into the drift as they tried to shove more snow down each other's backs. Princess stayed at the outskirts of the drift, barking and wagging her tail. 

  


Trent waded through the deep snow with Thad to extract the wrestling boys from the deep snow and brush them off. By this time, Kurt was giggling and Blaine was sputtering because Kurt had landed a snowball in his neck.

  


“I think we need to build forts and have a war!” Jeff shouted and was answered by a round of cheers.

  


They chose sides and began building a great fort on each side. Kurt and Blaine were on the same team opposite Jeff and Nick. When the forts were deemed ready and the ammunition was made and stacked, Wes blew his whistle (which Trent laughed at and said it was just a replacement for his gavel) and the war began.

  


Jeff was the first one down, a flurry of snowballs hitting him at once when he stood up too fast. David was next, caught going out to gather more snow. The snowball fight went on for over an hour as they made more snowballs and hit each other. Kurt and Blaine loaded up their arms and sneaked over behind the other fort and covered their opponents with snow, ending the war as everyone gave in to the freezing night. 

  


It was almost midnight when the Warblers once again came into the Senior Commons, shedding outerwear as they came close to the fire, everyone snuggling together. Trent brought marshmallows and they roasted them, putting them in the steaming mugs of hot cocoa Thad and David brought from some unknown source. 

  


Blaine was sitting against a pillow on the sofa, Kurt leaning against his chest and trying to keep his eyes open. Nick was passing out blankets and everyone was snuggling under them as a few boys started to sing. Soon everyone was singing. It was almost like a campfire in summer camp, but indoors.

  


Kurt looked across the room to see Jeff and Nick on a sofa in the darkest corner, kissing and cuddling under the warm blanket. It didn't seem to bother anyone, even though they were in plain sight and Kurt was suddenly a little more happy to be here at Dalton. Blaine must have had the same thought because he pulled Kurt closer and kissed him softly. Kurt felt warmer and nuzzled his face into Blaine's neck for a moment, kissing the tender skin there. He could feel Blaine sigh silently in content.

  


The group sang a few more songs, then Wes looked over at the two newcomers.

  


“Sing us a song, Kurt,” he asked and Kurt didn't think too much before he began. He sang “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, but the slow ballad version of it. Blaine joined in on the second verse and when they were done Wes looked around the room. Each Warbler nodded his head as Wes looked at him.

  


“Welcome our two new Warblers into the group,” Wes declared and a cheer went up.

  


Kurt and Blaine both looked up from their kiss in surprise.

  


“But..I thought we had to audition?” Blaine asked.

  


“You just did. We meet at four o'clock on Mondays and Wednesdays, here in the Senior Commons room,” Wes said. “We'll see you on Wednesday.”

  


“Ah, thank you!” Kurt managed to say, smiling at Blaine.

  


 

  


~*~

  


 

  


**Five Weeks Later, Dalton Academy**

  


 

  


“Yes, Dad, I do feel safer here. Yes, we've both made friends. Uh-huh, most of them are Warblers, but at McKinley most of our friends were in the Glee club. Of course we'll be home by Friday night dinner. Bye, Dad. Kiss Carol for us,” Kurt said, finally hanging up his cell phone. He gave Blaine a quick roll of his eyes in exasperation. 

  


“Burt wants us home for Friday Night dinner?” Blaine asked, more a statement than a question. He was lying on the floor, his head pillowed in Princess' side as she slept. He'd been combing her and felt too lazy to get up just yet.

  


“I wonder if it's a repeat of last Friday,” Kurt said and Blaine sat up. He moved to sit on Kurt's bed beside him. 

  


“What do you really think about your dad's news? You haven't said much this week about it,” Blaine asked, pulling Kurt's shoulders so he was leaning against Blaine.

  


“I'm happy for him, but I do think its a bit soon, don't you?” Kurt asked.

  


“Burt is a grown man, Kurt. He knows what he wants, and it's not like he's never been married before, is it? He knows what it's like. I'm happy for him,” Blaine said. 

  


“Oh, don't get me wrong – I'm happy, too, but so soon?” Kurt said.

  


“Kurt, listen to me. I hate to bring this up, but I think Burt has been lonely. He's been a widower for nine years. I know he loved your mother, there's no question of that, but he's lonely. Now with us gone most of the time, and only one more year of high school....I think this is the best time for him to get married. And who wouldn't love to have Carole as a step-mom? She is the sweetest woman I've ever met,” Blaine said, feeling a need to defend Burt.

  


“Well, yes, all that is true. I still feel funny about it, but...you're right. I am happy Dad's getting married again.”

  


“One day it'll be us getting married,” Blaine said and Kurt whipped around to stare at Blaine.

  


“What?” he asked.

  


“Ah...did I say that out loud?” Blaine backpedaled. He didn't mean to just spill that...

  


“Blaine? You've been thinking about us getting married?” Kurt asked, his face a blank slate that Blaine couldn't read. He put his head down, afraid that Kurt wasn't thinking the same thing. They declared their love for one another for quite some time, but hadn't gone too far physically – not more than being naked together and some hot make-out sessions. Blaine knew Kurt wasn't ready for something too intimate yet, or he thought so anyway. Kurt was afraid anything past frotting and handjobs were pushing Blaine too far with his PTSD caused by Jenn's molestation. Maybe they needed to talk about it.

  


“Ah..well, Kurt, I can't lie to you. Yes, I've thought about it. You know I love you, and I thought one day...well....I don't want to live a life that doesn't include you, I don't want to face that,” Blaine said in a soft voice, not sure how it would be received by Kurt.

  


Kurt didn't say anything at first, feeling he had been hit in the face with the very thing he'd been struggling to tell Blaine. As it ended up, the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth and he compensated by moving closer and throwing his arms around Blaine. Blaine melted into him and wasn't surprised when he felt Kurt's mouth on his. The kiss was very, very gentle at first – a sort of apology for not having the words. Blaine understood that and kissed back a bit harder, letting his lips part and his tongue brush against Kurt's lips. It wasn't long before they were lying on the bed, sharing deep kisses and their hands began to explore the expanse of warm naked skin of the other, with sighs and moans emanating from the bed. Princess groaned in her sleep and turned over, she'd heard this before and knew it was her place to stay on the floor and not intervene, no matter how much Blaine sounded like he was in trouble. 

  


Right in the middle of a kiss, Kurt pulled back. Blaine looked at his face, trying to decipher what was going on in Kurt's head.

  


“Kurt?” Blaine asked, his fingers under Kurt's chin to lift his face so Blaine could see his eyes.

  


“Blaine...I..I..I don't know how to talk about this. I don't know what pretty words to use to make this right. You have that gift, you know, the gift of knowing what to say to make me feel what you mean, to know you hold my heart in your hand. Oh, Blaine...” Kurt put his head back down and blinked to clear his eyes of the tears.

  


“Hey, it's just me here, you know. Kurt, we've been best friends for nine years, we're Piglet and Pooh, remember? You can tell me anything,” he smiled at Kurt, stroking his fingers down his face from temple to mouth. 

  


“It's what you said...wanting to be together always. I want that, Blaine. I love you, not only because you're my best friend, but because you bring something out in me that I didn't know was there. The love I have for you...well, you know, don't you?” Kurt asked, then hid his face in Blaine's neck once again. It was where he felt the safest, the most loved since the days he had hidden his face in the flannel shirt of his father when he ran to him as a child. The feeling of absolute acceptance was here, too.

  


“Hey, baby, come out and talk to me. I think we're on the same page, you know. There is no reason to be so bashful, Kurt.”

  


Kurt moved back, but reached over to shut off the bedside lamp. There was still the light from the fish tank on the desk across the room, so he could see Blaine. He moved closer and whispered in his ear, “I know we are both thinking about our lives together, but it seems so far away. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, baby, but we're so young. I'm kind of afraid to talk about it, I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to hope too much because if I do and something happens, it will devastate the rest of my life. I think that, but then I realize, I already hope for that and it scares me.”

  


Blaine put his arms around Kurt and drew him closer.

  


“I understand, and I wish I could reassure you, Kurt. I do love you, more than anyone or anything on this earth. I don't know how to make you believe that. I can only ask you to trust me,” Blaine whispered.

  


“I do, Blaine. I do,” Kurt whispered back and then curled up next to him, tipping his face up to kiss Blaine once more. 

  


Kurt pulled at the hem of Blaine's shirt, giving him a shy smile and then pulled the shirt over Blaine's head, messing up his curls. Kurt combed his fingers through the silky black hair to get it back in line, softly curling around Blaine's beautiful face. He pulled his own shirt off, folding the henley neatly and setting it beside Blaine's folded shirt. Then came the jeans, socks, and boxer briefs.

  


Once again they lay down on the bed together, noses almost touching, eyes closed against the fear in each others' eyes. Kurt leaned just far enough to kiss the tip of Blaine's nose, then they tugged each other closer to kiss once again. This time they were touching skin to skin, close together on the bed. Blaine's tongue out to touch Kurt's neck as he tasted the salt across the skin. Kurt moaned quietly, humming to himself. 

  


Quite a while later, Kurt was on the verge of doing something new but he was so apprehensive that he stopped what he was doing, apologizing in advance for disrupting their make-out session; but he needed to talk to Blaine.

  


“I want to do something we haven't done before, something I've wanted to do for a long time but I was worried about your reaction,” Kurt started.

  


Blaine looked at his boyfriend, trying to imagine what he was going to ask. It was a mix of fear and excitement, of not knowing but the anticipation was delicious. He saw something in Kurt's eyes, even in the dim light that gave him a chill – what he saw in Kurt's face wasn't just excitement, there was an element of something else – fear, apprehension, anxiety? So, it wasn't an easy question and Blaine wondered how long Kurt had held back asking. 

  


“It's okay, please just ask,” Blaine begged. He didn't want anything to come between them, especially not a question that seemed to be a part of their relationship.

  


“It has to do with your PTSD. I know you don't like to talk about it, but maybe we need to,” Kurt said. “This is going to come up one day when we're not ready for it, and I'm afraid of what kind of damage that could cause, so I think maybe we could talk about it now when we're alone and calm?”

  


“Okay. What did you want to ask?” 

  


“We've been kissing and a few other things for over a year, and I think maybe we're ready for the next step?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded his head, taking Kurt's hand to lend him courage to ask the question. “Well, you told me what she did...with her mouth...and it's something I have been curious about. I wanted to do that with you, Blaine, but I don't want it to bring back bad memories for you.”

  


Blaine sat up. He had a frown on his face and that scared Kurt for a few moments before he realized that Blaine was just thinking.

  


“I don't think it will. What triggers the anxiety attacks is smelling her perfume mostly. I don't know the name of it, but it's a dark, musky odor. The perfume and the smell of the damp basement. It happened in the laundry room and that room wasn't finished; it was cement walls and floor with no windows, so it smelled a little like mildew or mold. I don't like being in places like that. The other trigger is if I hear someone whose voice sounds like hers, but that's only happened a few times, and not recently. So, we can try knowing it might happen, and if it does we'll stop. If I can't speak...you know that happens sometimes, right? If I get the feeling and it's too overwhelming, I can't say a single word. I'll squeeze your arm or hand. You'll know to stop, okay?” 

  


“Okay. We don't have to do it today, I kind of killed the mood. I was just worried if I tried that, well, I just thought you needed to know if it was going to happen and not have it surprise you,” Kurt said in a soft voice, stroking Blaine's chest. He cuddled up close, sharing Blaine's warmth under the covers.

  


“Come closer, baby, I need you,” Kurt said, scooting to be nearer to Blaine. They were kissing again, Kurt whispering sweet promises, Blaine feeling the warm breath over his neck. They curled together, touching each other in all their secret places. Kurt's lips ran down the center of Blaine's chest, leaving a trail of tingling nips and licks in their wake. As he reached Blaine's belly, he rubbed his cheek against the softness then turned his mouth to start kissing again. He paused and looked up at Blaine, silently asking if this was really okay. Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. Kurt's rubbed his cheek against the silky surface of Blaine's cock, feeling the stiff muscle underneath. Blaine took in deep breaths as he tried to stay calm. He waited for the bad feelings to come – the shaking and shortness of breath and deep fear – but it never came. Instead he felt Kurt there, smelled the mixture of jasmine and spicy ginger with spring rain, added to a scent that was pure Kurt. It was amazing.

  


Kurt looked up at Blaine's face, watching for any nuance of fear or apprehension, but it just wasn't there. Instead, Blaine had his eyes pinned to Kurt's, a dark look of desire glimmering in the honey-brown depths. Kurt took this as a sign to go further.

  


Opening his mouth, he took Blaine's hand and put his boyfriend's index finger in his mouth, sucking and running his tongue over the tip in mock playfulness. The look on Blaine's face as he closed his eyes and tried to keep his hips from bucking forward weren't playful. Neither was the deep moan that escaped his lips. Kurt's body reacted to that with shooting, tingling, feelings from his belly up his back and down to his balls. He was so hard it was just short of painful.

  


Do you want me to do that here?” Kurt whispered, removing the finger and stroking Blaine's erection.“Blaine...” Kurt's breath ghosted across Blaine's ear and he could feel his blood moving in his veins like fire, filling his cock as it got harder. 

  


“Yes, oh..god, yes...” Blaine managed to say, his breath coming in gasps as he imagined Kurt's mouth doing to his cock what it had just done to his finger.

  


Kurt tried to put his fingers around Blaine's thick cock, gently moving his hand up and down a few times. “Oh, Blaine, you are so beautiful, look at how beautiful this is....” Kurt moaned, as he licked the tip and circled around the crown, then slid his tongue up the underside along the thick vein. Blaine was moaning with every movement. Kurt spent a long time running his tongue all over, slowly licking. He cupped Blaine's balls in his hand, gently moving them in the sac, dipping down from time to time to lick there, too. He kept it up, always moving slowly, until Blaine's heartbeat was a little less frantic. Kurt opened his mouth and took in just the crown, sucking gently as he used his tongue to stimulate the most sensitive place near the ridge. Blaine moaned loudly and let go of the blankets that had been wrapped in his hands. He moved them to Kurt's hair, carding his fingers through the silky chestnut locks as he laid back and tried not to buck his hips forward.

  


Until Kurt took it all in his mouth, touching the back of his throat with the first downward movement. Blaine froze. He was not breathing, couldn't get in any air and was panicking. He couldn't tell Kurt to stop – his voice was gone, his muscles frozen. All he could do was hold still and pray it would let up enough for him to take a breath.

  


Kurt pulled back a bit, just that split second, and knew something was wrong. He pulled his mouth away and scrambled up the bed to Blaine, pulling him into his arms.

  


“Blaine? Are you okay?” he asked, waiting for Blaine to take a breath. He had told Kurt what it was like when he had a panic attack, how hard it was to breathe, like someone crushing his chest. “Baby, calm down. I'm sorry...so sorry. That was so selfish of me.”

  


Blaine was shaking his head no. He closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles. Princess was anxious..she knew he needed her and was trying to jump on the bed. Kurt got back so she could get next to Blaine and press her body against him, resting her muzzle on his chest. Kurt went to the bedside table and got one of Blaine's anti-anxiety pills from the bottle and brought it to him with a glass of water. He was breathing slightly better and took the pill, then ran his hand along Princess' side, hugging her close to him. He snapped his fingers and she jumped off the bed, settling on the floor, but still watched his face.

  


“Kurt, c'mere,” Blaine asked in a small voice. Kurt stood away from the bed, wringing his hands together, seeming not to notice he was still stark naked. He just looked at Blaine, fear in his eyes. “Please?”

  


Kurt moved over to the bed, slowly climbing in and over to sit beside Blaine.

  


“I'm sorry, I should never have done that. It was cruel,” Kurt gasped.

  


“No...no. You should. And we're going to try again. Kurt, I need someone who knows me, but is brave enough to help me get through this. I guess it's kind of selfish on my part, but I want to be able to enjoy you sucking me off. We have the rest of our lives together and I want that for myself. Are you willing to help me?” Blaine asked, although he already sounded defeated.

  


“Maybe another day...in a few weeks, maybe, we can try again,” Kurt said. 

  


“No. I mean right now. If I don't keep trying, it will just build up in my mind again. Can we try again?” Blaine asked.

  


“Ah....” Kurt's eyes rolled in his attempt to come up with something to say.

  


“Please?”

  


“Okay, Blaine. We can try again,” Kurt said. He shut off the bedside lamp once again and laid down next to Blaine, taking him in his arms. “You know I'll do anything for you, baby.”

  


They kissed for a while before Kurt moved down in the bed, stroking Blaine's thighs and kissing his soft belly. Once again he took Blaine in his mouth, gently licking and sucking the tip. So far so good, Blaine was relaxed and moaning his pleasure. Kurt was far too worried to be hard right now, but that was not going to stop him, Blaine was his priority now. 

  


Stroking the inside of Blaine's thighs again, moving his hand to spread Blaine's legs and cupping his balls, then watching as his boyfriend quivered for a moment before moaning again. Kurt was teasing him a little, trying to get him so worked up that he forgot what he was doing and maybe that would get him past the trigger point.

  


Kurt reached under the edge of the bed where he'd put the small bottle of lube they sometimes used when they gave each other hand jobs, finding the pump bottle and squirting some on the fingers of his right hand. He was still holding Blaine's erection with his left hand, stroking the part of his cock that wasn't in his mouth. He pushed Blaine's legs a bit farther apart and the next time he cupped his balls, he slid his hand back and ghosted across Blaine's pink entrance. Blaine jumped, letting out a shouted word, probably Kurt's name though he wouldn't swear to it.

  


Kurt made an inquiring sound, his mouth too busy to speak in words and Blaine began to pant, “Oh, Kurt...oh that felt so good,” he whimpered. Kurt did it again, circling the sphincter muscle with the slick lube. Blaine moaned again and Kurt moved his lips down the shaft a bit more. Maybe he had done it too fast last time? He was gliding his finger over the hole, pushing just a bit more until Blaine was once more panting. Kurt slid his lips just that much farther, sucking gently and circling his tongue around the ridge under the crown, sliding into the slit and back out, taking more in while his finger breached the muscle and Blaine's hips bucked up – forcing him farther down Kurt's throat.

  


Kurt kept up a rhythm, moving up and down the shaft, feeling the blood pumping into Blaine's thick cock – his leg muscles trembling. 

  


After pushing his finger inside Blaine, he stroked softly until he located that place that he was sure would take Blaine's mind off of anything in his past. He went down as far as he could on Blaine's cock, swallowing as Blaine buried his fingers in Kurt's hair and held on tightly. His legs were shaking now and his breath was coming in gasps once more, but there was no sign of the panic that came before.

  


Stroking the prostate along with deep throating as far as possible, Kurt reached up just to gently pinch Blaine's nipple between his thumb and finger. That was the final piece to the puzzle as Blaine shouted Kurt's name and exploded into his mouth, his semen splashing down Kurt's throat as Blaine cried out, not realizing how loud he was screaming Kurt's name. Kurt tried to put his hand over Blaine's mouth, but to little avail. He kept his mouth in place until Blaine was done, and he slowly removed his finger from Blaine's body and climbed up beside him, a towel in his hands. He wiped off his hand, then cuddled close to Blaine who put his arms around Kurt.

  


“Are you okay?” Kurt asked.

  


“Yeah...I think I am. Wow....that was different somehow. I didn't even think about it when you...well, what you did with your finger. It worked. Now, lay back and let me show you what it feels like?” Blaine asked.

  


“You don't have to, tonight was all about you, Blaine,” Kurt said, but Blaine was not taking no for an answer when he happened to brush against Kurt's swollen cock. 

  


Blaine did just what Kurt had done, kissing down Kurt's chest and stroking him, taking him immediately into his mouth. It was more difficult with Kurt's size, but Blaine did the best he could and soon had Kurt howling his name as he came hard into his boyfriend's mouth. Blaine milked the last of Kurt's seed and sat back, the love shining in his eyes as he looked at Kurt laying back on the pillows.

  


“I think living at Dalton is going to be one of the best moves we've ever made, Kurt,” Blaine said, kissing the corner of Kurt's smile.

  


“That it is, that it is...” Kurt said back, snuggling his nose into Blaine's neck as he pulled the blankets up around themselves to keep warm on the cold and snowy night.


	8. Still Seventeen Years Old

 

“Hey, Blaine, I have kind of a strange question to ask you,” Jeff said, sitting across from the boy in the dining hall. Kurt was there beside Blaine and Jeff's boyfriend, Nick, was there, too. They had just eaten a good meal: roast chicken with dressing and asparagus. It was almost like Christmas and actually, the holidays were just around the corner.

 

“Yeah, Sterling? What's up?” he asked between bites of chicken and being pulled over to Kurt so he could kiss some more.

 

“Did you – and Kurt – go to summer camp?” Jeff asked.

 

“Yeah, well...it's a long story. Funny you should mention that, I was listening to a song that became popular that year and it always reminds me of that summer,” Blaine said. Trent was sitting farther down the table and he looked over at Blaine, then Kurt, and his eyes got wide.

 

“Jeff?” Trent said, and Jeff nodded.

 

“What's going on?” Kurt asked, looking at Trent and Jeff who seemed to be having some sort of private joke.

 

“Ah...was the name of the camp Cloudy Pine?” he asked.

 

Blaine whipped around to stare at Trent.

 

“Oh, my living gods....you were there!” he said, staring at Trent. “You brought me lunch the day we rode horses...”

 

Kurt was just sitting as if he'd seen a ghost and Blaine threw his arms around his boyfriend, bouncing in his seat.

 

“We shared a cabin with you two,” Kurt finally said, a smile breaking out on his face. “That's why you looked so familiar that first day. Well, you have changed in seven years, I guess...”

 

Nick was looking from one boy to the next, finally fixing his stare on Jeff, his eyes asking what was going on.

 

“Blaine here is a living legend, aren't you?” Jeff giggled, pleased to solve the mystery of why the two newcomers looked so familiar.

 

“A living legend?” Nick prompted.

 

“Well, it was seven years ago when Trent and I were at Camp Cloudy Pine for summer camp. We had a cabin-mate named Kurt,” he said, flourishing a hand at Kurt. “He was new that year. The first day we heard rumors of a kid that stowed away in the luggage compartment of the bus and ran off when it was opened. Nobody really believed it, and we had all forgotten it by that night. But Kurt here had a 'guest' in his bunk that night....seems Blaine didn't want to spend his summer without his best friend and had stowed away to spend the summer!”

 

“We all sneaked food from the dining hall and brought it to him at night, and he hid under Hummel's bunk when they did bed check. During the day he just joined us when the counselors weren't looking. He was like the camp mascot. It took them six weeks to figure out he was missing!” Trent said.

 

“I told my brother I was going to France with my folks, I told my folks I was staying home with my brother...they didn't compare notes for a while. But when they did....all hell broke loose,” Blaine said, a small bit of regret in his voice. He felt bad that he's scared Cooper.

 

“Wow. Did you get in trouble?” Nick asked, his eyes round with curiosity.

 

“Oh, boy. Both Kurt and I ended up working in Mr. Hummel's garage for the rest of the summer. He lectured us for weeks. I'd rather take a beating than have Burt Hummel say he was disappointed in me,” Blaine said.

 

“Well, it was worth it. I went to Cloudy Pine for five more years, I was a counselor there the last three, and you were still a legend,” Jeff grinned.

 

“Have you two been boyfriends since you were...ten?” Nick asked, incredulous.

 

“No. We met when we were eight years old at a kid's community theater group. We really were just friends until...about two years ago I guess. We haven't told our families, I don't think either of us is up for that yet. I think we just want it to be between us for now...oh, and our friends here at Dalton, of course,” Kurt said, looking at each boy there to be sure they all understood. He trusted they would keep his and Blaine's secret.

 

Blaine blushed a little because of all the attention, but he was kind of proud of himself in a way for sneaking into the summer camp to be with Kurt. That had been before Jenn and the molestation and he wished he could be that fearless once again. His hand went down to touch Princess' ears and stroke the silky fur, and he leaned a little more towards Kurt who moved his arm around Blaine's waist to comfort him.

 

“You're okay, baby,” Kurt whispered so low nobody else heard, but it put Blaine at ease once again.

 

 

 

~*~

 

Blaine had been out of sorts for days. He went to class, held hands with Kurt, spoke to his friends and sang with the Warblers, but Kurt could tell that there was something bothering him. He'd asked, of course, but Blaine denied anything was upsetting him. Kurt had watched carefully all the people Blaine interacted with during the day, but saw nothing to arouse his suspicion. Except Princess. She stuck to Blaine's side like glue, her face searching for Blaine's every few minutes, her side pressing into him as they sat together. Kurt was sure there was something upsetting Blaine on an emotional level because Princess was never wrong.

 

 

It wasn't until very late one night, long after they had called an end to their evening and gotten into bed, that Kurt felt Blaine slipping quietly out of the bed they shared and tiptoe into the bathroom. He was in there a long time before Kurt could hear crying coming from the room.

 

Getting up out of bed, Kurt thought about how a million things could go wrong and he was afraid he would be inadequate to help his best friend. As it turned out, though, because he could not abide sitting in his bed -- and pretending nothing was wrong had worn thin, Kurt was resolved to go get some kind of help. Or perhaps provide help in some way? Yes, that would be better if possible. He knocked on the door and heard Blaine's quick intake of breath.

 

“Blaine? It's just me – can I come in?” Kurt asked.

 

“I'll be out in a minute,” Blaine said. Kurt could hear that he was not on the toilet or at the sink, but sitting on the floor on the other side of the room. He counted to ten and opened the door. Princess was sitting next to Blaine, leaning on him as she kissed his hand and moaning as if in distress. Kurt slid to the floor next to Blaine, leaning his back against the tub.

 

“What's wrong, Blaine? And don't tell me nothing because we don't lie to each other,” Kurt said in a stern voice. It came out that way because he was trying desperately not to cry. The look on Blaine's face was breaking his heart.

 

“I think we need to go to Headmaster Ethridge and ask for different roommates, Kurt,” Blaine said, sounding as if his mind was made up.

 

That was so far from what Kurt had expected he was at a loss for words and only his snarky attitude came out.

 

“Well, I think we should give Princess another chance, she's been with us for a long time,” Kurt joked, but immediately regretted it as a tear fell from Blaine's cheek, followed by a lot more.

 

“I'm sorry, I was just trying to make you laugh, but it wasn't working. Honestly, Blaine, I'm your best friend, aren't I? Tell me,” he begged, clutching Blaine's shoulders and bringing him flush to his chest.

 

“You are. Kurt, I just....oh, I don't know how to put it into words...” Blaine looked at him as thought Kurt were the one obligated to spill the confession.

 

“Start at the beginning, baby, I have all night,” Kurt assured him.

 

“It was yesterday in the dining hall,” Blaine started, but just stopped there, unable to continue.

 

“Oh, well, we only have to put up with the Dalton Meatloaf twice a month, it's okay we'll get over it. Next time we'll go out to eat.” Kurt kidded. He got a smirk out of Blaine at least.

 

“No, it was finding out that Jeff and Trent knew me that summer. I'd put that behind me – it's too painful,” Blaine said.

 

“Painful? But we made peace with Dad and Cooper over that years ago, why are you still worried?”

 

“It isn't that. It's who I was then...brave, or maybe equal parts brave and foolish? But definitely brave. Now I cower at my own shadow, take anxiety pills, and have a security blanket with red fur and a bark,” Blaine says.

 

Kurt thought for a minute, “I don't see that you're letting anyone else tell you what to do. I see you walk Princess in spite of your fear of people, I see you telling everyone who you are and how proud you are to be out. Honestly, Blaine, what are you talking about? You are probably the number one non-fearful person I know!”

 

“It's so far from that, Kurt...so far. I can't do things spontaneously like I used to. I would see something or think of something – like stowing away on that bus – and without any thought of the consequences I would just leap into it. I never do that any more. Now I think it over, analyze it to death, weigh the possible outcomes...by the time I've dissected an idea, there is nothing left and even if there were, I probably wouldn't act on it.

 

“For a while I thought I was getting over it, thought I was growing bold again, but then the attack at the dance and....Kurt, it's like I've lost myself somewhere. If you weren't here, I don't know how I would function. I can't even force myself to go to class unless Princess is with me. I'm just.....I don't know. The Blaine I was is lost and I don't know how to find him again,” Blaine sighed, putting his head down on his knees and by the time Kurt had his arms around him, he was sobbing for that lost little boy.

 

“Oh, Blaine...Blaine...you're still here, I still love you. Nobody grows up and stays the same as they were when they were eight. You know that old cliché: 'Into every life a little rain must fall'? Well, it's a cliché for a reason, baby. It's true. You have just had more than your fair share of rain and you might need a bit of extra help to get out of it. Shall we do it together?” Kurt asked, thinking wildly about something – anything – he can say to soothe his best friend.

 

“Kurt, I know everyone has...setbacks. You lost your mother when you were eight, look at what a mess you were when we met. I walked into that room and knew the instant I saw you that you needed me. It was a long, hard row to hoe, but you came out the other end as a better person. You overcame the loss, learned to live your life again. I have absolutely failed to do that. One small incident, and it wasn't anything that hurt – it was a fucking blowjob for pity's sake. How can that still be affecting me seven years later?” Blaine searched Kurt's face for something, maybe some disgust or signs that Kurt was fed up with him. “For pity's sake, Kurt, we've been in love most of our lives, been kissing and hugging and petting for two years almost...but we've never gone all the way. Do I think for one minute that it's _you_ holding us back? NO. It's _me_. Me and my fears, my hang-ups, my anxieties. Don't you see that I'm the weak link in this relationship? Kurt, you deserve better. I'm eaten up with guilt that I'm holding you back, that you could have a healthy, loving relationship with another guy. Why are we still together? I can't even get the courage to leave you,” Blaine said, then dropped his head into his hands and the sobbing continued.

 

All Kurt could do was hold him, try to say things to him but knew he wasn't listening.

 

“Oh, Blaine, baby, I love you. Don't you see? I don't need anyone else, and I know we can be strong against the world. I'll always be here for you. Come to bed, we'll lock the doors and hide from the world for a while, until you feel better, okay?” Kurt was grasping at straws, had no idea what to do except to stay with Blaine. He was terrified that he could lose him, and life without his best friend wasn't life at all.

 

 

 

It was several hours later when Kurt finally coaxed Blaine out of the bathroom and into bed. He wrapped himself around the love of his life and knew he would never let go. Blaine was so weak by now he just lay there in a stupor, letting Kurt take care of him. He didn't have the strength to fight Kurt's ministrations any more, so he ate the chicken soup that Kurt spooned into his mouth, he drank the juice and then slept. Several time there were knocks at the door, but neither of them answered it. It was the weekend, so they didn't have to be in class so it was easy to shut the world out.

 

By Sunday night, Kurt was more than worried. Blaine had had breakdowns like this in the past, but never one so severe. He was not sure what to do, but he had an idea.

 

“Blaine, I need to go down to the dining hall and get some food. I won't be very long, is that okay? Will you be all right?” Kurt asked.

 

“Yeah, go ahead. I'll just sleep until you get back. Can you take Princess? She needs a good run and to relieve herself,” Blaine said.

 

“Okay. Back in a little while. Call me if you need me, baby. I love you,” Kurt said.

 

“Love you, too, Kurt,” Blaine said in a sleepy voice.

 

 

 

Kurt clipped the leash on Princess and walked to the end of the corridor and outside to the place the school had designated for her to use. She took care of business and Kurt walked her to the field where they played lacrosse.

 

“Ready, girl?” He unclipped the leash and let her run. She was a vision of beauty as she ran down the field after the ball he had thrown. She scooped it up in her mouth and ran back, sitting in front of Kurt and wagging her tail, so proud of her accomplishment.

 

   

 

“Give,” Kurt said and she dropped the ball in his hand, watching him as he got ready to throw it again, her whole body quivering in anticipation.

 

“Fetch, girl,” he commanded and watched her run down the field again.

 

She finally got tired and Kurt walked over to the bleachers, sitting on the lowest seat and dialing. It was time to ask for help.

 

“Dad?”

 

“Kurt, how are you? I know you had mid-terms to study for, but I missed you guys this weekend. I hope you're coming home next week?” Burt said. Just listening to his voice made Kurt feel warm and like there was nothing that couldn't be accomplished if his dad was there.

 

“That's the plan. Dad?”

 

“What's wrong, kiddo? I can hear it in your voice,” Burt replied, fearing for his son. He swallowed and sat down, ready for anything.

 

“It's Blaine. I know I haven't told you everything – and it wasn't that we didn't want you to know, but it was something we wanted to keep between us for a while. Dad, we're...kind of boyfriends? I mean, we...well...” Kurt wished he had rehearsed this because he wasn't doing a good job of telling his father.

 

“Kurt, it's okay. I know. Son, you wear your heart on your sleeve you know, and I've known the dynamics changed between you and Blaine when you took the road trip. It's okay, I understand the need to have that to yourself until you figure it out. It's fine. I'm happy for both of you,” Burt said, hoping this was the problem but knowing it wasn't.

 

“It's just...Blaine isn't himself. He has so many issues surrounding what happened to him, you know, with that girl. He tells me he knows he should be over it, but he isn't and it's tearing him apart. He has spent since Friday night in his bed. I can hardly get him to eat, he won't shower, he asked me to walk Princess...it's like he is so overwhelmed that he's given up. I've never seen him this bad, Dad, and I don't know what to do to fix it,” Kurt told his father, finally breaking down into sobs by the end.

 

Burt wanted to be there for his son, he wanted to pull him into his arms and make it all better with a kiss like he did when Kurt would stumble and scrape his knee as a child. Burt knew better, though. Blaine had PTSD and it wasn't something that went away overnight.

 

“Kurt, do you think he needs to come home? I can arrange to have him see a doctor or counselor again. Do I need to come and get him tonight?”

 

“No, Dad. I think he's better than he was on Friday. I just wanted to tell someone before I exploded. It's hard to see him so hurt when all I want to do is see him joyous once again. There is nothing in this world like Blaine when he's happy.”

 

“I agree, he is special, isn't he? But not any more than you, Kurt. I hate it that you're so down. Can I do something? Send some chicken soup?” Burt laughed.

 

“No, I already gave him some of that, but good call, Dad.”

 

Burt smiled, he could hear the old happy Kurt shining through.

 

“Kurt, I'm glad you told me about you and Blaine. You're being good to each other, aren't you? Being safe?”

 

“Yes, Dad. We haven't...well, let's just say we haven't yet and leave it at that. We're just not ready. Okay? I'm not comfortable talking about that, Dad. We listened to you, though, I can tell you that much.” Kurt was red with embarrassment, he had no desire to speak about his love life with his father.

 

“Okay, Kurt. I understand.” Burt was pleased to know they remembered his talks with them.

 

“I better go. Princess is done with her exercise and I need to get some groceries. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know how Blaine is doing,” Kurt said.

 

“Do that, son. Call if you need anything, okay? You might want to call Cooper if Blaine isn't better. Maybe he's missing his family?” Burt said before they ended the conversation.

 

“Love you, Dad,” Kurt said.

 

“Love you, too, Kurt,” Burt said and hung up.

 

 

 

“Hey, Blaine. Are you feeling any better?” Kurt asked. When he had gotten back to the room, Blaine was stepping back into their room from the shower which Kurt took to be a good sign.

 

“Yeah, I'm really sorry, Kurt. I don't know why I let it get me down so much. I know I'm doing okay, I know it gets better – but so slowly,” Blaine lamented.

 

“Well, we did have a set back with the attack after the dance. I think we need to take one day at a time, don't you?” Kurt asked.

 

“Yes. I sometimes forget that. I want to be instantly better and life doesn't work that way. I had a bit of a pity party there, but I think I can move on. I need to study for that test in calculus on Tuesday. I think I'm okay for the most part, just need to look over my notes. How about you?”

 

“I'm fine,” Kurt said, distracted. Blaine noticed.

 

Scooting closer to Kurt on the bed, he reached his hand over and ran it down Kurt's arm. Kurt looked over, seeing the apology on Blaine's face.

 

“We're still okay, aren't we?” Blaine asked.

 

“Of course we are. We're end game, Blaine, no matter what pits we find in the road, we're always gonna be end game,” Kurt assured Blaine, leaning in for a kiss on the cheek.

 

They ate dinner, minestrone soup that Kurt had raided from the kitchen when he found he was too late for dinner. Lucky for him, one of the Warblers worked in the kitchen so he'd been able to get the soup easily.

 

After dinner, they decided to just unwind and watch a movie.

 

“Disney cartoon, 1940's madcap romance, or 1950's detective?” Kurt asked.

 

“Oh, the madcap romance I think. What did you have in mind?” Blaine asked.

 

“ 'Bringing Up Baby' ? I'm in the mood for Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, sound okay?” Kurt offered.

 

“Sounds like a winner,” Blaine smiled and leaned back on the stack of pillows while Kurt set up the laptop on the desk and accessed Netflix.

 

Twenty minutes later, neither boy was singing along with Kate as she sang to her leopard, they were naked under the covers kissing.

 

“I love it when you do that, Blaine,” Kurt said, curling his toes as Blaine kissed down his ribs, gently tickling as he went. They had been touching, caressing, and kissing for a while, nothing too serious just playful loving.

 

Blaine scooted up to plant a kiss on Kurt's lips, running his fingers through his hair again. He pushed Kurt back against the pillows and Kurt sighed at the soft cushion against his back. Blaine kissed his forehead, then across his eyebrows and down to his eyelids. Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's back, rubbing in little soft strokes. Blaine kissed the soft cheek in front of him and sighed.

 

“Oh, Kurt, I never get tired of kissing you. Look at you, these small freckles dancing across your nose? You only get them in the middle of summer, so why are they here now? It's April! “

 

“I was out in the sun more than usual this weekend. Remember I ran Princess three times a day. The sun was out,” Kurt said in explanation.

 

“I'm sorry, Kurt. I don't know what came over me. Princess is my responsibility, I should have been the one doing that,” Blaine said, his face starting to look sad again.

 

“No, baby, I was glad to help out. I love Princess, too, you know. It was good for me to help. Now, not another word about it...let's get back to the kissing part,” he grinned at Blaine who grinned back in return.

 

Kurt ghosted his fingers across Blaine's back, letting him feel the warmth of his flesh but not the physical contact. Blaine shivered.

 

“What are we doing this summer? It's the last one before our senior year. We should do something special,” Kurt mused.

 

“Well, we've already had a road trip...I'll have to think about it. It has to be something spectacular.”

 

“Oh, I'm all for spectacular, Blaine. We can have a party at the end of this semester, maybe invite all our friends from McKinley?” Kurt suggested.

 

“Oh, we can have a pool party! I'll ask Cooper, he won't mind. He's the only one living in the house now, I doubt my parents will be home all summer. They'll probably be in the south of France or somewhere,” Blaine said, but it didn't seem to have the old resentment that used to color his remarks about his parents.

 

“Hey, that isn't the same leopard...is that the killer one?” Blaine asked, paying attention to the movie once again.

 

 

“Yeah, it is. Wait, Cary Grant is going to put the leash on it thinking it's Kate's pet leopard...”

 

Their attention was once more back on the movie. Kurt took advantage of this and slowly ran his hand up Blaine's leg. He didn't appear to notice, even scooting his other leg farther out to give Kurt room without thinking about what was happening. Kurt rubbed the inner thigh of Blaine's leg and watched his boyfriend's face as his eyes darkened and his grin turned to a sultry half-smile. Blaine's breathing picked up, coming in faster and harder breaths. He still didn't seem to notice these subtle changes as he talked on about the movie, wondering where the terrier had buried the dinosaur bone or whether Kate's character was pretending or actually so clueless.

 

Blaine finally moaned, blinking in surprise to find Kurt's fingers wrapped around his cock, slowly stroking.

 

“Ah..when did..?” he started to ask, but Kurt had lowered his mouth on Blaine's and there was no more talking. Blaine was astonished for a moment at how hard he was, tried to remember when Kurt had started this seduction, then he didn't think any more as Kurt's curious tongue licked the spot behind Blaine's ear that made him lose all thought.

 

“Mmmm. Kurt, that's good...let me make you feel good, too,” he offered, moving his hand to take Kurt and begin stroking. They slid down in the bed together, Kurt tugging Blaine on top of him and tangling their legs together to build momentum. They slid easily together, well rehearsed from countless frotting sessions over the past year. Kurt pulled back after a little while, wanting more than this, more than just a handjob or Blaine's mouth on him.

 

Blaine practically read his mind and reached his hand into the open drawer of the bedside table, bringing out the small container they kept there. He put some of the slick liquid in his hand and resumed kissing Kurt. They got very in to the kissing, Kurt finally bucking up a little, his hips seeming to have a mind of their own.

 

Blaine took this opportunity to use his astroglide covered finger to slide down Kurt's crevice between his buttocks and brush past his sensitive opening. What had been playful kissing suddenly turned quiet and serious.

 

Blaine tested the waters by moving his finger just a little, brushing gently across the opening once more and was rewarded by a moan that came unbidden from Kurt's throat. Kurt looked a little stunned, so Blaine did it again, still just a brush against it, nothing aggressive and Kurt kissed Blaine again, but this time it was aggressive and as they continued the kiss it turned into a take-no-prisoners passionate kiss. Kurt's throat let out the occasional moan as his hips moved and his legs spread as if by themselves.

 

Blaine concentrated the touch into a circling, spreading the slick gel around as he pressed down a bit more and Kurt whined, wanting more but not knowing more of what. They had never done this, never even talked about it before, but both knew it was what they wanted and conveyed it to the other. Blaine took his time, pressing more with each circle until he had breached that tight muscle and Kurt was sucking his neck and moaning.

 

“More?” was all Blaine could say, his entire concentration on what he was doing, trying to be careful while wanting this so badly his body was quivering.

 

“Yes, I think so...” Kurt answered, a little hesitant but his body answered louder and more demanding, his hips pushing back on Blaine's hand suddenly and his finger was buried up to his knuckle. It was hot, not just sexy, but hot in temperature as Blaine closed his eyes to experience this new thing, to remember it all in hopes of bringing it to mind later as he did with many things he and Kurt had done.

 

“Is it..okay?” Blaine asked, unsure of himself and ready to pull his hand away if Kurt showed the slightest discontent.

 

“Oh, Blaine....this is good, so good....so very good,” Kurt chanted, his vocabulary narrowing to just a few words. “More?”

 

Blaine didn't have to be told twice, he pressed his finger deeper, not knowing what the right depth was, but this was getting better with every breath he took. He didn't want to stop, he fought the urge to cower back and let Kurt take the lead once more, to claim he wasn't ready because he had been ready for a long time – just too scared to jump.

 

“Oh, ahhh, so good....fuck, Blaine...fuck...” Kurt babbled and Blaine took in a breath in shock – Kurt never used that word, he'd never once heard that word come out of Kurt's mouth. He was so hot right now, be he reminded himself to be careful. He moved his finger deeper, and Kurt was moaning, asking for more. Blaine gathered his courage and pulled his finger out, giving Kurt's erection a few strokes, then adding more astroglide and inserting two fingers, slowly and gently. Kurt's eyes opened wide and he squealed, the pain dancing over his features and Blaine stopped.

 

“Kurt? Did I hurt you?” he asked, but he already knew the answer.

 

“Don't stop, Blaine, just go slowly and I'll ride out the pain. We knew it would hurt the first time, but it is so good, it will be okay,” Kurt whispered, desperate to get past the initial burning stage. Blaine was still hesitating and Kurt took his hand and guided it back, encouraging him to continue. The gentle encouragement was enough, and Blaine started again, but even more carefully. He progressed at a snail's pace, which was finally so frustrating to Kurt that he pinched Blaine's thigh hard. Blaine's fingers slipped deep, the pressure against the prostate causing Kurt to yelp and moan loudly.

 

“Oh...was that...?”

 

“Yes...yes...yes.....” Kurt chanted, never wanting Blaine to stop, encouraging him with noises and stroking what he could reach of his hard erection.

 

Blaine felt Kurt's efforts and moved a bit closer so Kurt could get his hand around it. He timed his gentle thrusts to Kurt's strokes without conscious thought, suddenly noticing that Kurt was stretched a bit more. He looked over to see if three fingers would be too much and Kurt's eyes were closed in pleasure, so Blaine took the chance and added another. This time he watched. He wasn't sure why he had closed his eyes before, perhaps to keep Kurt's dignity – but having sex was probably not the time to stand on dignity. The sight of his fingers entering Kurt almost made Blaine swoon. He was suddenly dizzy and his head felt a little numb, but his erection was now so hard he hurt. He took Kurt's hand to guide over to do...something. Kurt sensed Blaine's urgency and folded his fingers around his hard cock, stroking.

 

“Is it..too much?” Blaine asked, digging his knees a bit deeper into the mattress as Kurt's stroking got stronger and Blaine's blood was rushing so quickly to fill his erection that there seemed very little left in his head for making decisions.

 

“Blaine....can we? Can you?” Kurt stuttered, thrashing his head for a moment as Blaine rubbed hard on the small bundle of nerves that could change the whole evening's pleasure.

 

Kurt...what? Are you saying you're ready?” Blaine asked, astonished. He thought Kurt was waiting for....well, something, he didn't know what.

 

“Oh, Blaine...if you're ready, I am, too. I want you, Blaine....is that okay?” Kurt was wishing with all of his being that Blaine would be on the same page. He knew they had the rest of their lives for this, but he wanted it now.

 

“I do, Kurt...I need you, if it's right?”

 

“Yes, Blaine....you know it's right.....”

 

Blaine removed his fingers slowly and Kurt let out a sigh, wired so tightly right now he felt he could fall into a million pieces, shattered if Blaine moved too quickly. But Blaine was slow and gentle, too scared to do it any other way. He caressed Kurt's arms, then drew his hands down his sides, smoothing the tense muscles and kissing his Kurt as he prepared his mind for what he was about to do.

 

“Kurt, which way?” he managed to get out, hoping Kurt would say so he would know what to do.

 

“I want to see your face, Blaine...always, your beautiful face,” Kurt whispered, cupping Blaine's cheek in his hand for a moment, then settling onto his back, his legs relaxed and his feet planted on the mattress, far enough apart for Blaine to come and lie on top of him. Kurt's arms went around Blaine's waist as he moved his knees between Kurt's thighs, then he spread the astroglide all over his cock, remembering the pamphlet: 'Too much is almost enough the first time'.

 

“Ready, my love?” Blaine asked and Kurt leaned up to give him a deep, sensuous kiss, a kiss to tell Blaine how much this meant to him, how he was always Blaine's. He was so emotional, wiping suddenly at the tears that came.

 

“Oh..no, Kurt, don't cry. We don't have to do this, did I rush you? Hurt you?” Blaine asked, ashamed of what he might have done in his anxious state.

 

“No, baby...no, it's because I'm so in love with you. Now, make love to me, Blaine....” Kurt asked, trembling in anticipation.

 

Blaine moved so his cock was just grazing Kurt's opening, and his skin was tingling, his hips held in check as they tried in vain to thrust forward. Blaine began to push, slowly – an inch in, half an inch back, another inch forward, another half inch back, making steady but slow progress, wanting it to feel good, and he prayed it wouldn't hurt. Kurt's eyes were closed, but the tears made their way out in spite of it. Blaine watched for signs of distress, of pain, but Kurt's face didn't change from the look of wonder as he was filled with his lover's flesh, slowly, steadily, gently as could be. Kurt took a breath, filling his lungs as Blaine reached the end, as far as he could be inside of Kurt.

 

“Oh, yes, Blaine...oh...it's so right, baby..”

 

Blaine pulled back, amazed at the feeling of the textures and the pressure, the sounds that Kurt send directly to his soul. He pushed back, pulled and pushed, Kurt helping and moaning at the same time, watching the joy as it spread across Blaine's face.

 

He finally got his rhythm, like the waves pounding the shore, and Kurt held on to Blaine so tightly, as if he would be left behind if he loosened his grip. It didn't last long, Kurt and Blaine were so ready, so amazed by this unexpected turn in their relationship. Blaine was as gentle as he could be, only getting carried away as the end came and the heat gathered in his belly, shooting off into every inch of his mortal body as he knew it was too late to stop, too late to think and the heat took him over, reigning chaos inside his head as his orgasm took hold of him, making him disconnected to anyone or anything but Kurt.

 

 

 

They finished close together, so amazed and thrilled - yet there was an element of sadness, knowing the first time was over, knowing they loved each other but couldn't even get married here in Ohio. Kurt lay is if dead, not a muscle moving and his eyes closed. Blaine felt like he might never get the same feeling again, but knew it was worth it.

 

“Kurt? Are you okay, my love?” Blaine asked, placing those same tiny kisses across Kurt's nose where the early spring freckles were showing themselves, perhaps in celebration of Kurt's first time.

 

 

 

“Kurt?” Blaine asked a while later, after showers and getting back into bed.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Was it the right time?” Blaine asked, his nagging doubts resurfacing.

 

“For me it was, I hope for you, too,” Kurt reassured him.

 

“I feel better.....about myself now. Thank you,” Blaine whispered.

 

“I'm glad. I knew you were strong, Blaine, strong enough to get better. Goodnight, my sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing Blaine on his head.

 

“Goodnight, my love,”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Kurt walked into their dorm room and slammed the door. Blaine looked up from his guitar a little startled: Kurt never let his temper get beyond icy bitch glares and sarcastic remarks. Something must have happened.

 

Kurt stalked over to his side of the closet and took off his clothes, then went into the bathroom dressed in just his briefs, his pajamas and bathrobe over his arm. He slammed that door, too.

 

Blaine sat for a moment. He wanted to go and pull Kurt into his arms and kiss away the bad feelings Kurt was having, but he also knew Kurt. Very well. He knew if he approached him too quickly that he'd just be repulsed and it would be even harder to get back in Kurt's good graces once again, so he strummed his guitar and hummed a song as he thought about how best to approach his unapproachable boyfriend.

 

Kurt was in the shower for a good long time and he emerged looking much less tense, if still unhappy.

 

Blaine got up and went to him, holding his arms out in an offer, not otherwise touching him. Luck was favoring him tonight because Kurt fell into his embrace, sighing and holding on to Blaine in a death grip for a few moments, then allowing Blaine to steer him over to the bed.

 

Kurt sat down, Blaine next to him, slowly rubbing his back in an effort to comfort him more. He waited for Kurt to be ready to talk, and it didn't take long.

 

“I want you to know you are the only one for me, Blaine. The _ONLY_ one. In spite of what you will probably hear tomorrow, I don't think I did anything to bring this on myself. It was unwanted, unexpected, and unwarranted. I was so shocked, it took me a few moments to collect myself before I slapped him, but I want you to know it was not because I enjoyed anything that was happening. Okay?” Kurt blurted out, his eyes searching Blaine's for any negative signs, any mark that his story was not believed by Blaine.

 

“Hey, hey...calm down now, babe. Tell me what happened,” Blaine said, careful not to sound the least bit jealous in spite of what was whirling around in his head.

 

“It's that new kid in my French class. He's a first class jerk. I was translating a paragraph and he had the audacity to try and correct _my_ pronunciation. You can imagine how well that went over. Well, I got flustered and the professor said he was correct and I got my tongue tied up in knots because she never reprimands me in class. So this new kid says he's sorry and …...KISSED me. In class. Saying it was French Class, so why not do something French...I should have bitten his tongue! It was awful, and the other students were laughing. The professor herself was laughing at me as she wrote up the slip to send him to the Headmaster to explain himself. He left, but he was waiting outside the classroom when I left the room at the end of the hour. He followed me through the corridors to the dorms, but he must not board here because he didn't have a passcard to get in the building, so I got away,” Kurt said, burying his face in Blaine's neck.

 

Blaine didn't know what to say. He just held Kurt and let him stay where he was, breathing his warm breath on his neck. The words Kurt said...that he 'should have bitten his tongue', kept playing over and over in Blaine's head. The boy's tongue was in Kurt's mouth? No! Kurt hiccuped and Blaine patted his back, rubbing little circles into it to try and give him some comfort. He kissed Kurt's hair, stroked his cheek, and when he finally lifted his chin, Blaine kissed him.

 

“It will be okay, Kurt. You can't let him get by with this. Dalton is a no bullying school, and I'm sure sexual harassment is on the list. At the top. We can talk to Ethridge tomorrow, okay? I'll go with you, if you want.” Blaine was livid, but didn't want to show it and upset Kurt any more. Nobody was going to put their tongue in his boyfriend's mouth, nobody was going to upset his boyfriend if Blaie had anything to say about it.

 

Nick was in Kurt's French class. He would talk to Nick tomorrow and find out who this guy was and put a stop to his shenanigans. The Warblers would band together to protect Kurt, Blaine was sure of it.

 

 

 

_Knock knock_

 

 

 

Blaine called out that the door was open and Nick stepped in.

 

“Hey, Blaine. I came to check on Kurt. Are you okay, Kurt? I was going to walk you back here, but you disappeared after class. I looked for you in the quad because somebody said they thought they saw you out there. Did that new guy follow you?” Nick asked, his hand warm on Kurt's shoulder.

 

“Yeah, he did. It wasn't enough he tried to kiss me in class, he followed me, making lewd comments, I only got away because he couldn't follow me into the dorms without a passcard,” Kurt said, still sitting in Blaine's lap, his boyfriend's protective arms around his shoulders.

 

“Can you show him to me tomorrow?” Blaine asked in a soft voice and Nick nodded.

 

“Do you want me to stay here with you for a while, Kurt, or are you two okay for the night?” Nick asked.

 

“I think we're okay, but thank you, Nicky,” Kurt said, leaning out to give him a hug.

 

“You know we take care of our own, Kurt. Just call if you need me. Or use the panic button, I think Thad is on call tonight,” he reminded the boys. Dalton had a panic button in each dorm room that was connected to the resident's desk in case of emergency.

 

“We will. Goodnight, Nick,” Blaine smiled at their friend, then put his arms tighter around Kurt. Princess wagged her tail as Nick left, making sure to lock the door on his way out.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Kurt hadn't seen the guy all morning. Blaine and Princess walked him to all of his classes, most of which they shared, but after lunch Kurt had heard just about enough of the rumors going around about the new guy kissing him in French class. Blaine wasn't in that class with Kurt, he was taking sociology instead, so he'd asked Nicky to meet them in the hall to escort Kurt. Nicky had strict instructions to call for a teacher if Kurt or he were accosted again.

 

Kurt walked into the classroom and sat in his seat, no sign of the annoying boy from yesterday. Kurt heaved a sigh of relief and opened his French book, glancing over the lesson to be sure he knew all the phrases for that day's lesson.

 

About half-way through the class, someone came and sat in the empty seat next to him. The same guy that had bothered him yesterday. Kurt got up, but the professor told him to sit down and if there was a problem, he could speak to her after class.

 

Kurt looked over to Nicky, who sat several rows away from Kurt. He had his head down, reading and hadn't noticed the boy had come in. Kurt took out his cell and sent a text to Blaine:

 

_trapped next to that guy in french. meet me after? nick not looking my way. I'm scared._

 

 

 

He got a text back:

 

_Im coming now. Hold on and dont leave the teachers side_

 

 

 

Kurt was nervous, the guy was leaning towards him, humming under his breath. He reached out a hand to stroke Kurt's arm and Kurt jerked it away. The bell was about to ring and the professor walked to the door of the classroom, asking the students to have silent study for the last few minutes, she had to get to a meeting. Kurt gulped, but thought he could handle this guy. He shut his book and had everything ready to go, having to take his pen back from the lecherous student and push his roaming hand away several times. Why wouldn't Nick look his way? Kurt stood up, the bell was about to ring and he wanted to be out that door. As soon as he stood, he felt a rude hand cupping his ass and he turned – determined to do some damage to this guy, but Nicky was right there. He insinuated himself between Kurt and the guy, whispering for Kurt to get out of there, bell or not.

 

Kurt made for the door and the guy got around the other end of the table and was standing in front of Kurt as he reached it.

 

“Hey, calm down. I'm not a bad guy, I just want to help you with your French homework. I lived in France for six years, I know all the best that France has to offer. I can teach it all to you, maybe back in your dorm room?” he asked in a lewd voice, putting out a hand to touch Kurt. Kurt backed up out of the doorway and into the hall, hoping Blaine would hurry.

 

“Hey, get your hands off my boyfriend!” Blaine's voice came from the end of the corridor as he ran to get to Kurt.

 

The boy looked around, surprised to see someone at Dalton running in the hall. Blaine got closer, Princess at his side, just in time to see him make a grab for Kurt's ass again.

 

“Leave. Him. Alone.” Blaine said, his face a mask of anger.

 

The kid turned and a smile stretched across his face, though it didn't reach his eyes.

 

“Well, well, well, what have we here? Anderson? Long time no see,” the kid said, leering once more at Kurt and rubbing his ass. Kurt tried to jump back, but the kid was quicker and grabbed Kurt's arm in a vice-like grip making him yelp.

 

“Smythe? What the hell, Sebbie? I thought your family moved to France. What are you doing back in Ohio?” Blaine asked as he reached for Kurt and pulled him into his arms. Kurt was there in a New York minute, holding on to Blaine and burying his face in Blaine's neck.

 

“We moved back. Oh, so you're his boyfriend?” Sebastian asked, nodding at Kurt. “In that case, please accept my apologies, Kurt. I didn't know. I thought you were just playing with me, and I love a teaser,” he grinned good naturedly. Blaine eyed him for a moment, deciding if this was real or if Sebbie was just trying to get himself out of a bad spot. He decided to give him a chance.

 

“Just watch your step. Kurt is mine.” Blaine said bluntly and Kurt's skin shivered. He'd never heard Blaine act so possessive and it was kind of hot. He turned his head to look at Blaine and got a kiss for his trouble.

 

“Okay, tiger, I got the message. Hands off. You don't have to tell me twice. I always did like your taste in men, Blainers, since you were a kid. Remember that little kid you used to pal around with? The one that shaved his head in second grade. I always thought he would have grown up into a fine looker one day. What ever happened to him? You were pals with him for years,” Sebastian said, a nostalgic look in his eyes. He liked to think about the good times he had as a child because his years in France had not been good ones. It took him a long time to talk his parents into letting him live with his aunt so he could come back and finish school in Westerville.

 

“Ah, that would be me,” Kurt said in a soft voice, still a bit intimidated by Sebastain.

 

Sebastian's grin grew bigger.

 

“And so it is! I remember you hanging around Blainer's a lot, I'd see you at the playground and the library, the swimming pool, or just around town. I always wanted a pal like that,” he said, looking a little sad, but shaking his head a bit before he was back in the conversation. “How about going to dinner with me? Talk over old times?” he asked.

 

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other and exchanged words using boyfriend shorthand, both giving a silent nod and Blaine said they would be happy to.

 

“I'll meet you at the House of Kyoto at six, if that's okay?”

 

“We'll be there. Thanks, Sebbie,” Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand and walking away.

 

 

 

“Ah, should I remember him?” Kurt asked, a little embarrassed at how afraid he was of Sebastain.

 

“No reason to, I don't think he ever spoke to you. He lived across the street from me and we'd play at the park whenever Cooper saw him out with his mom. She'd watch me and Cooper could go hang out with his pals. I used to resent that. A lot. But now I'm seventeen, I cannot imagine having a seven year old brother being my total responsibility for days on end. I feel so badly for Cooper – I was just too young to understand. I didn't get along with Sebbie all that well, but before you he was the only kid I played with. My neighborhood didn't boast a lot of kids back then,” Blaine explained. “His mom was only a few years older than Cooper – his dad was a lot older than she was. I think she felt sorry for Coop, that's why she watched me.”

 

Kurt nodded in understanding. Everyone's family had some kind of issue it seemed.

 

 

 

The boys were in their room, lying on Kurt's bed and tossing a ball to Princess to catch.

 

“I need to take her out for a good run before we go to dinner. I might leave her in the room tonight, it can be hard having her in a restaurant sometimes,” he said. Only the week before a restaurant owner had complained to Blaine that he didn't want a dog in his place. Blaine had shown him her card, although her vest had a patch proclaiming her a service dog, and she curled up by Blaine's feet when she was in a place like that. Some people were just ignorant. Kurt had come to the rescue, citing the law: chapter, section, and subsection of the right of disabled people to have their service dog with them in public places. Kurt had offered, in his most sarcastic tone, to call the police but by then the man had backed down and allowed it, but the atmosphere of the evening was ruined. Blaine was a little afraid of getting food with something unsavory in it, so they had left.

 

“Hey, we can take her, Blaine. I think maybe you might need her tonight – Sebastain seems like the kind to stir up trouble,” Kurt said, hoping he didn't upset Blaine with his opinion, but he was only thinking of his boyfriend. To his surprise, Blaine agreed.

 

Getting back from a good run with Princess, they got ready for dinner and set out to walk the short way to House of Kyoto. Princess had been fed so she wouldn't get hungry while she waited by Blaine's feet. They reached the restaurant and walked in, deciding to wait for Seb inside, but he was already there.

 

“Mr. Blaine, Mr. Kurt, how are you tonight?” the pretty girl behind the desk asked. They were regulars here and the staff loved the boys and their dog. “And the pretty Princess, too.”

 

“It will be dinner for three,” Blaine said, nodding at Sebbie.

 

“Yes, yes, come this way,” the girl told them, marching to the rear of the dining room and giving the boys their favorite table. The girl was maybe twelve and the daughter of the owner, very proud to be working in the family business.

 

“Thank you, Keiko, this is perfect,” Blaine said, patting the girl on the shoulder. He'd hugged her once, but she didn't like her dignity trod upon, so he didn't do it while she was working again.

 

 

 

“So, what have you been doing for the past half-dozen years, Blainers?” Seb asked.

 

“Mostly living with Kurt and his family. My folks are always gone, Cooper graduated from college and is in law school now, so I don't go back to the house very often,” Blaine said, chaffing at Seb's insistence on calling him 'Blainers', but he knew if he mentioned it, Seb would never quit. This way he might just get bored.

 

“Oh, so...you live with your boyfriend? Do your parents know?” Seb asked, looking at Kurt.

 

“Of course they do,” Blaine glared at Seb.

 

“What's with the dog? Some of the guys said he's a service dog – are you blind or something?” Seb asked and Kurt was getting irritated.

 

“It actually isn't any of your business, Sebastian. Do you hear us asking probing personal questions of you?” he asked, giving the boy of of his best icy glares, guaranteed to freeze his blood.

 

“Ah, sorry, Blainers. Well, seems you have two dogs, the pitbull here and the Irish setter. I think one of them needs a muzzle, and it isn't the one at your feet,” Sebastian said, giving a pretty icy glare himself.

 

“Hey, now, no call for that. Sebbie, I'd rather not discuss it, okay? Let's just say she helps me cope with some difficulties. As for my boyfriend, you better watch your mouth. Kurt is just trying to protect me and he doesn't deserve to be called names or insulted for doing so. Your life has never been a bed of roses as I recall, so maybe we should just let sleeping dogs lie, okay?” Blaine said, standing up for himself for the first time in ages. Kurt smiled a little before he saw Sebastian looking at him. His smile turned to a frown and he leaned a bit closer to Blaine.

 

The conversation limped along for the rest of the meal and they parted company outside the door. Sebastian held out his hand and Blaine had to nudge Kurt to take it.

 

“I am truly sorry we have started this friendship on the wrong foot, Kurt. I hope I can amend it soon. Please, come and visit me at my aunt's house one evening, we can have supper and talk over old times. Goodnight, Blaine. It really was good to see you again,” Sebastian said in all seriousness and Kurt wondered if this was still an act. He didn't like Seb at all.

 

“I'll talk it over with Kurt, okay?” Blaine said, referring to Seb's invitation.

 

Sebastain leaned down to run his hand over Princess' silky head. “And it was good to meet you, my dear. Keep our Blainers safe.”

 

Princess was wagging her tail at the new boy, an act that Kurt took note of.

 

“Good then. See you in class,” he said, waving as he wrapped his coat around himself and walked down the street.

 

Kurt turned to Blaine.

 

“Is he for real? I mean, first he kisses me in class just to make a fool of me, he stalks me and grabs me in the hallway, comes to dinner just so he can throw insults at you and calls me a dog – sorry, Princess – and now he wants to get all cozy?” Kurt huffed.

 

“I remember him as a young boy, Kurt, but his family moved away years ago, to France. I don't know why he's back...and living with his aunt? I hope nothing happened to his parents. As for your question, I don't know if he's being real or not. I guess we could see? Let's think about it for a while. I'm really tired, maybe we should just get back to the dorms and go to sleep.”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

In the days that followed, Sebastian was friendly and his sexually-charged comments seemed to have evaporated in the spring sunshine. Kurt even began to grudgingly like the boy as he spread his own brand of smiles and encouragement wherever he went.

 

Blaine, on the other hand, became more and more suspicious. He'd known Sebastian for most of his young life and the boy had never been this cheery – except when he wanted something. Kurt argued that it was possible that the bad years abroad had changed him, that perhaps Sebbie had turned over a new leaf. After a time they just ceased to argue about it, competitions between The Warblers and other show choirs in the region were amping up and it took a lot of the boys' time and attention.

 

Kurt hadn't forgotten the breakdown Blaine had experienced and was very careful of not crowding him, letting him make decisions for himself, and giving him space when what he really wanted to do was smother Blaine in hugs and kisses and keep him all to himself, locked in a tower where nobody would intrude on their time together.

 

~*~

 

 

 

“Kurt, look outside! I have been feeling spring in the air, the snow melting and everything, but look across the quad,” Blaine woke Kurt up one Sunday morning. Kurt rubbed his eyes and looked out the window.

 

“Oh...it's a fairy land!” he squealed, gazing at the pink cherry trees all in bloom across the campus. “How did that all happen overnight?”

 

“It didn't, silly. You've had your nose buried in that history text for days, barely coming out for food and sex, and those were after dark. I've been watching this all week. C'mon...I have something to show you!”

 

Kurt got dressed in a hurry while Blaine walked down the corridor and knocked on Jeff's door.

 

“Blaine! Come in, come in,” Jeff said, surprised to see Blaine on his own with just Princess. He looked in the hallway to see where Kurt was.

 

“He's not here. He's getting dressed, but I have a favor to ask you,” Blaine said, blushing a bit while he gathered courage to ask a favor of his friend. “Are you and Nicky doing anything today?”

 

“No, nothing planned, I have a geography test to study for and Nicky offered to quiz me. Why?”

 

“Can you keep Princess for the morning? We'll be back mid-afternoon at the latest, but what I'm planning would be better executed without her bouncing in on the ..ah...activities,” Blaine sort of explained, blushing a deep red.

 

“Oh, those...well, I guess poor Princess might be tired of being a voyeur on your love life. Sure, I'll keep her for you,” Jeff smiled.

 

“She will need to go out in back of the parking lot to that little fenced area..” Blaine started to say.

 

“I know, I've gone with you before. No problem. I'll keep her on the leash so she doesn't get it into her head to play bloodhound and go find you. Now, go! Have a fun time. Stay until dinner if you want, Princess and I get along fine,” Jeff said, grinning at Blaine and turning him towards the door, patting him on the butt to get him moving.

 

“Hey, that's Kurt's. You don't want him to see you do that!” Blaine called over his shoulder as he walked quickly back to his dorm room.

 

“Ready?” Kurt asked as he stepped out of the room, dressed casually in tight jeans and his weekend pea coat. Blaine smiled at how gorgeous his boyfriend was and took his hand, walking down the corridor and out the back door of the building.

 

 

 

“It's just over this hill...” Blaine said, trying not to listen to Kurt's grumbling as he came up behind Blaine. They had been walking for the better part of an hour and were almost at the top of the hill after walking through the woods in back of the school. “Okay, stop. Now, this won't hurt a bit, but you have to cooperate,” Blaine said, taking a wide scarf from his pocket and moving behind Kurt.

 

“Hey, wait...what kind of kinky..?” Kurt started, but Blaine had whipped the scarf in front of Kurt and was tying it securely around his head. “Ah...wait...I can't see...” Kurt sounded like he was about to panic.

 

“It's okay, I'm right here, Kurt. I won't let go of you, I just wanted you to be surprised, okay? Now, I'll hold your hand and guide you,” Blaine said, grinning from ear to ear at his surprise and the long-awaited look on his best friend's face when he saw it. He led Kurt the rest of the way up the hill and took his hand, placing it on a brick wall. Kurt turned his head in confusion, but Blaine spoke quietly to him, assuring him this would be over in just a minute.

 

Kurt could smell flowers, and he followed the brick wall, sometimes feeling vines growing over it, or losing touch when Blaine pulled him away from a tree or bush growing too close to the wall for him to fit behind. Finally, something metal and heavy was set in his hand and the blindfold removed. It was a key.

 

“Blaine, what is this? The Secret Garden?” Kurt joked, looking around. There were trees everywhere. They were deep in the small woods in back of the school. A brick wall ran along this far edge of the property, but he'd never seen the gate before. It was wood, maybe oak, and was over six feet high, as was the wall.

 

“Where are we?” Kurt asked.

 

Blaine looked at the key in Kurt's hand and then at the wooden gate. Kurt understood and fit the key in the lock, opening the gate. Blaine heard the sound he'd been waiting for: “Oh, my! Blaine? Where did you find this?” Kurt babbled, completely flabbergasted.

 

“I was walking Princess and I ran into that group of nuns that we see in town a lot. One of them asked about the dog...she had a definite Irish accent and told me she had a terribly stereotypical name that she refused to reveal, but I could call her by what the sisters in her order did: Sister Mary Paul. Her order owns this garden and we got to talking about Princess and she told me she had a red setter when she was a child back in Ireland. She said nobody much comes here any more, the order is in a new building in another part of the city, but she comes to sit and pray in what she called “God's Peace”. She invited me to come with her one day and then offered me the key if I wanted to bring you here. It isn't sacred ground, just a peaceful place.”

 

Kurt had been standing dumbfounded. He had never given thought as to what was behind the wall at the back of the Dalton property. Blaine walked through and took Kurt's hand as they walked down a crushed stone path.

 

“Oh, the smells! There must be a million flowers here, Blaine...how beautiful!” Kurt was amazed, truly amazed to the point of having his mouth open, hand in front of it in astonishment as he looked.

 

“This isn't even the best part, Kurt. Now, close your eyes again and I'll lead you to it,” Blaine coaxed and Kurt followed his directions. Blaine walked around a wall of shrubbery to another part of the once-formal garden and put both hands on Kurt's shoulders. “Open.”

 

“Blaine...lilacs! There must be a hundred bushes of them, oh, smell that!”

 

Blaine was smiling so wide his face hurt.

 

“I knew you liked lilacs, remember the time we got caught picking them from the bushes at the mall? We had to call Cooper to come get us away from the security guard,” Blaine laughed, thinking of the escapade from when they were only nine years old.

 

“Yes, but they let me keep them when you told them I just picked them for my grandmother. She used to love them, too,” Kurt said, his eyes looking soft and full of warm memories. He turned his blue eyes back on Blaine. “And you brought me here. Oh, Blaine, I love you,” Kurt said, his arms around Blaine's neck.

 

“I love you, too, Kurt. Memories aren't the only reason I brought you here, though. I wanted to give you this,” he said, holding out a small box. Kurt's eyes were wide as dinner plates.

 

“What? Blaine...I love you, but we're not ready...we're too young, we haven't talked about this,” he said.

 

“Calm down, just open it,” Blaine said, blushing.

 

Kurt opened the box and saw a thin band of silver, just simple with a small knot as a decoration. His eyes went to Blaine's face, questioning.

 

“It's a promise ring, Kurt. Not an engagement ring, though one day I hope to place one of those on your hand. Here, try it on,” Blaine said, suddenly shy. He ducked his head down, afraid of what Kurt might say to his boldness.

 

“It fits. Oh, Blaine...it is so beautiful. Thank you, but what are you promising?”

 

“To always love you. To find the boy you fell in love with all those years ago before the awful things happened to me, before I tried to hide from the world. I miss being bold and impetuous and because of your steadfast support, because you won't let me shrink until there is nothing left of me...I have that hope, Kurt. I promise I will come back to you and be the friend you had so long ago.”

 

“Oh, Blaine, you haven't gone anywhere. I know you're still here with me, loving me and being with me every single day of my life. You might try to hide from your demons, my love, but you can never hide from me. I will still be by your side, no matter what. I don't have a ring to give you now, but I will make you a promise that I will be here in your life until you don't need me any more – and hopefully that is a long, long time.”

 

They fell together, lips searching each other until they met, and stayed there until they had to pull back to breathe. Blaine got down on the ground, holding his hand up to invite Kurt to join him. He pulled Kurt closer, kissing him once again on the soft grass between the lilac bushes.

 

“Blaine...there might be other people..” Kurt said, not wanting to break apart but nervous.

 

“No, this is the only key. I have to give it back on Monday, but for today, this is your dream, we can be here all day,” Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes. “Now, 'come and lie with me, Love'...the poets said. They had the right idea, I think,” Blaine laughed.

 

They slowly removed their clothes, rolling in the grass under the lilacs, the intoxicating scent making them dizzy and full of lust for each other.

 

“Kurt, remember last month...when I made love to you?” Blaine asked, just a whisper in Kurt's ear as they lay touching each other.

 

“Yes,” Kurt's eyes brightened as he looked up at Blaine. “It was the best day of my life.”

 

“I was hoping...if you're ready, that is..could you make love to me?” Blaine asked, clinging to Kurt and looking into his eyes to make sure he was telling the truth when he answered.

 

“Oh, yes, Blaine...yes,” Kurt purred, laying his head on Blaine's chest for a moment and gathering his courage for this. He'd done it a thousand times in his dreams, planned it in his head, and now in this garden with the lilacs...he wasn't sure if it was all a dream after all. He opened his eyes to see Blaine had the small bottle of slick gel, setting it beside them with a small towel for after. Blaine had thought of everything.

 

Kurt got up and rested on his hands, gathering himself for the fulfillment of his dream.

 

He lay down close to Blaine, taking him in his arms once again to kiss and caress him, making sure to be both gentle and effective as he stroked the golden skin spread out in front of him. Kurt was the one most people thought of as bold, but it wasn't true, not if they had known them as young boys. They were still true to their natures as proved last month when Blaine made love to Kurt, taking charge and making sure Kurt was comfortable and well cared for the entire time. Kurt was very afraid he wouldn't be as good and his muscles trembled with the thought that he would somehow do it wrong, would hurt this boy that was only now coming back from the damage done to him. It was a huge, looming responsibility and Kurt was quivering as he stopped to look at Blaine.

 

Kurt moved over Blaine, kissing down his chest and tickling his ribs, loving the giggle he hadn't heard enough of lately. He kissed down to his hipbones, taking Blaine's cock in his mouth and licked the crown, letting his tongue go to the place that he knew would bring Blaine the most sensation. He sucked gently, brining him to full arousal and seeing that his cock was an angry red, so full of blood and now lying his belly, liquid leaking onto the golden skin. Kurt leaned forward to take that essence onto his tongue and felt his own erection become almost painful with anticipation.

 

“Lie back and relax, baby...” Kurt said in a reassuring tone, but not quite sure if he were giving assurance to Blaine or to himself. He took a sprig of lilacs from the bush overhead and - just barely touching Blaine's skin – he moved them along the contours of his belly and up his chest, following it with kisses. He set the flower down and buttered his fingers with the gel, giving Blaine's cock one slow stroke just as a reminder. He spread Blaine's legs, not too far apart but enough and brushed his hand over the back of his thigh. Blaine was so anxious his muscles were stiff and Kurt massaged the thigh before he slipped his index finger slowly across Blaine's sensitive opening. Blaine jumped, but the moan that followed excited Kurt and he kept going. His fingers moved in slow circles until he'd breached the tight muscle, coaxing it to relax and enjoy the ride. He was murmuring sweet things to Blaine the whole time – partly to make him relax more but partly to keep his courage up.

 

He slid his finger deeper, watching Blaine's face as he felt this for the first time. Kurt knew what it felt like and the face Blaine made – half surprise and half lust was a spur to keep going.

 

Kurt slid in and out, slowly as he spoke words of encouragement and finally leaned back in to kiss those swollen lips. He gave Blaine an internal massage, slow and gentle as he saw Blaine's chest rising and falling at an increased rate, so Kurt added a finger. Blaine whined for a second, holding up a hand until he could catch his breath, then nodded. Kurt massaged harder, sure that the elusive little patch of nerves that was in control of so much was just within his reach. Ah, there, and Blaine was undone, his high-pitched keening going on for a moment before he got it under control.

 

“Is that it?” Kurt asked, but he already knew the answer and Blaine just looked at him, his eyes glazed a bit, his smile plastered across his face. Kurt moved his other hand to rub gently under Blaine's balls, slowly with a slightly increasing speed until he could tell it was the right place. The massage on his prostate and the little patch of skin behind his balls – trapping the prostate between Kurt's fingers. He was rubbing gently, one hand outside and two fingers inside when Blaine just came unhinged. He bucked and moaned so loud Kurt was sure the whole dorm could hear even though it was two miles back to Dalton.

 

“You okay?” he asked Blaine, who nodded and closed his eyes. They were open again in a minute – searching Kurt's out and locking on to him.

 

“Oh, yes...so okay...” Blaine gasped as Kurt rubbed with a little more force. Blaine yelped and tried to pull back, the stimulation so very good – but he wanted more and this would end it if Kurt kept it up. Kurt understood and took a deep breath of the lilacs and removed his fingers, hoping that he had stretched Blaine enough.

 

He fell on him, lying his head in Blaine's neck and shoulder joint, hiding his eyes for a moment to build his courage one more time. Blaine stroked his back, knowing how the feelings of apprehension could build up.

 

“Hey, Kurt....you are so beautiful so good for me. All I want is to be closer to you now, so close, as close as we can be in this mortal world. I want it with all my heart,” Blaine said. If it had been in any other circumstance, Kurt would have laughed at Blaine's poetic language, but it seemed so appropriate here, in this garden of heavenly lilacs.

 

“We will be, soon, my love...soon,” Kurt murmured against his lips. He took another cleansing breath of the intoxicating lilacs and moved his knees between Blaine's legs, gently placing his lover's legs up around his waist to open a path for Kurt. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer, not to anyone in particular but to the fates, a promise that he would be gentle and careful of the precious boy whose heart he held in his hand.

 

He pressed the crown of his cock against Blaine's sensitive opening, having just renewed the layers of gel to make it more comfortable. He remembered how Blaine had done this and pushed that barest inch inside the tight circular muscle. Blaine took in a breath, twisting his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. It hurt. It didn't just hurt, it burned like there was a fire pressing into him, tearing him in half. He gasped and tried to open his eyes. Achieving that, he saw the pain in Kurt's eyes, this was not the way it was supposed to go.

 

“Wait, I just need to relax, just...” Blaine tried to excuse himself, but the pain in Kurt's eyes was making it worse. “No, stop, don't move,” Blaine begged. He closed his eyes, trying to find the courage he once had in abundance and was now lacking. If he ever had an ounce of courage, now was the time. He opened his eyes and looked right into those beautiful ocean blue eyes. He willed his body to let go, to stop anticipating the worst, to let Kurt in. He took another breath, pulling Kurt's face down to his own and kissed those swollen, sexy lips for a good long while, reminding himself that this was the boy he loved, this was the boy he couldn't live without, this was Kurt – the one person he trusted above everyone else.

 

“Now, baby, now, Kurt....be inside of me now...” he whispered and Kurt thrust forward, burying his cock to the hilt when Blaine pulled his hips so forcefully. He stopped, but Blaine was kissing him again and Kurt felt he was surrounded by Blaine, not just his arms or his lips but by his whole body. It was hard to believe anything could feel this good and he pulled back, his hips bucking as if they had a mind of their own. Blaine was moaning, Kurt's large cock pressing against his prostate and causing the hot waves that built up – knowing this might not last very long.

 

Blaine grunted, pushing back against Kurt and moaning his pleasure as it flowed through his body. Kurt dared to open his eyes once again, so afraid the pain would be in Blaine's eyes – but it wasn't. He could see that Blaine was right there with him, loving this joining, working towards the same goal and he kissed Blaine again, moving his mouth to suck gently on his neck as they moved in sync as if they'd rehearsed this for years.

 

It went on for ever or only a few moments, the sense of time was lost to both of them because nothing existed but them in the heaven of the lilac garden. All good things must end, and Blaine was proof as he slowed for a second, his mind and body of two different thoughts: whether to stay and enjoy or rush forward to catch the orgasm that had been simmering in the background for all this time. One look at Kurt's face made the decision for him and he pushed against Kurt, forcing his cock farther into Blaine's body and Blaine could see that he was there, too. Blaine gave in first, the hot tingling force crushing him as the heat ran from his balls up his shaft and covered Kurt's belly with pearly splashes. Kurt felt the same lava and fireworks burst forth inside Blaine.

 

They clung together, knowing this was what it would be like for the rest of their lives, the adrenaline and released hormones exaggerating the romance in their minds as they held on through the aftermath of their lovemaking, neither one wanting to be the first to let go.

 

“I love you, Piglet,” Kurt said, knowing he had to take the edge off the intense romantic feelings poisoning his blood. It worked and Blaine let go, trying not to giggle. Making love was serious, but he turned it over in his mind, realizing that there would be more opportunities for this. It wasn't the end of their time together at all, it was only the beginning. He leaned forward, placing a kiss of the freckled nose of his friend, his lover.

 

“I love you, too, Pooh-bear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In answer to F., no, I don't own an Irish Setter...I have a Collie, a Whippet, a Boxer and an Irish Wolfhound. 
> 
> I modelled Princess from a neighborhood dog, Murphy, owned by the Higgins kids down the street when I was a young child. Murphy roamed the neighborhood and even rode the bus to school with us almost every day. He stayed with the bus driver on her rounds and came home with his family at night. I've never seen a more friendly, loving dog and the memory was just too good not to share. Murphy wasn't a service dog - they didn't seem to have such things back then (almost fifty years ago) - but he would have made a wonderful one. He lived to the ripe old age of seventeen, an amazing feat by an amazing dog.


	9. Eighteen Years Old

“Hey, guys...I was on my way home for some lunch, would you like to join me?” Sebastian asked.

“We were going down to the dining hall, but...Kurt?” Blaine asked, looking at his boyfriend.

“Sure, Sebbie. Thank you. Just let me get a sweater,” Kurt said, turning to go into the dorm building. 

 

“Well, ah...how is it living back here now?” Blaine asked, trying to think of some neutral topic of conversation. He'd learned that Sebastian said lewd or suggestive things all the time but Blaine believed that it was a defense mechanism. If people surrounding him were talking about his risqué language, they weren't asking embarrassing questions about his home life.

“I'm okay. I miss my little sister, Lorraine, but she's at a boarding school in England right now. Maybe I can see her this summer. I'm living with my mom's aunt. She's nice,” Sebastian said, as if trying to convince himself more than Blaine.

“Sebbie, I've known you since we were in preschool, I flatter myself to think I may know you a little better than that....how are you really?” Blaine asked.

“I just don't know, Blaine. It isn't like when I was a kid – how did I not know how screwed up my family was? I mean – well, they basically just do things to make money so they can show off how much money they have. How is that a life? And when I objected to it, my dad hit me. He didn't really hurt me, just knocked me down, but it was the look of disgust in his eyes that hurt me. After a while I just asked him if I could move back here. He called Aunt Pauline and told her he'd pay her to take me until I went to college,” Sebastian said. “But, hey, it got me back here and I like Dalton, so life's good, huh?”

“Yeah, I understand more than you know. My folks are in Europe, too. I haven't seen them since I was in the hospital and Father came home to see me. He put Kurt and me in Dalton and left on the next plane. I just feel like an inconvenience to them,” Blaine said, sadly. “Kurt's dad is more of a parent to me than my own are...him and Cooper. I've learned to live with it, I guess.”

“Speaking of Kurt, what's the story there? I mean, I know you were friends when you were little kids, but now?” Sebastian asked, genuinely curious.

“Oh, well, we're close. I mean really close,” Blaine said and his whole face lit up, his eyes sparkling and his lips hardly able to form words with the smile that broke out. 

“Like that, is it? Blaine, you've got it bad. I was going to offer to take him off your hands: with that sweet ass, he'd be worth a few hours' time and with that feisty attitude? Man, I know he's a tiger under the blankets,” Sebastian growled, his eyebrows going up and down in a lewd way.

“Sebbie, don't talk that way about him. I don't mind hanging out with you, I think we could be close friends, but if you don't shut up about my boyfriend I'm going to have to tell you to leave. Got it? You leave because of that, you're not coming back. Understand?”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Don't get your knickers in a knot, Blainers. I'll keep my hands off the merchandise. Just let me know when you're through with him. I'd like a taste of that sweet ass,” Seb said, then ducked with a practiced move and laughed as Blaine swung at him, only half in jest.

“Hey, I was just poking the bear, I won't come between you two. I think you really have something going with Hummel. His eyes follow you everywhere you go, that kid wears his heart on his sleeve and everyone can see he adores you,” Seb said, a bit of jealousy showing although he tried to hide it. 

“I'm in love with him, Sebbie. I've never felt before what I feel when I'm with him. It's just....oh, my god, it is just right. I don't know how to describe it,” Blaine said, hoping Seb understood.

“It shows on your face, Blaine. I'm really happy for you, you deserve it. Life owes you, man. You got dealt a bad hand but I'd say its making up for lost time now,” Sebastian said, patting Blaine on the back. 

Kurt was exiting the building and walked up to his two friends, holding Blaine's heavy wool cardigan for him to slip his arms into. Blaine kissed his boyfriend on his cheek, getting a beautiful smile in return, and they took each other's hand.

“Lead on, sir,” Kurt grinned, giving Sebastian a gracious smile.

 

They walked a few blocks and entered huge wrought iron gates that opened when Sebbie punched a code into the keypad next to the driveway. They walked up the drive, Kurt gushing about the formal flowerbeds set along the path.

“Your house is just spectacular, Sebastian. Thank you for inviting us,” Blaine said, squeezing Kurt's hand as they continued to the large front double doors. Seb opened the door on the left and held it for his friends. The boys stepped in and were met by a butler who asked for their wraps. 

Kurt's eyes were open wide. He'd never been in a house like this one. If Blaine's folks lived in a mansion, this was a palace. They followed Seb across the marble floor of the entrance hall, Kurt's eyes sweeping up the grand staircases on each side of the room.

“I was just going to have a bite in the kitchen if that's all right with you guys?” he asked his guests.

“Fine, don't stand on ceremony for us, “ Kurt said. 

Seb led them across the marble hall, their shoes clicking in the empty room. Kurt looked up to see an amazing crystal chandelier hanging over them. They went through double oak doors, through a formal dining room with a mahogany table and seats for sixteen, and through another door, arriving in a huge kitchen with three stoves. There was a pineboard table in the west side of the room with a dozen chairs scattered around it. Kurt imagined it was for the kitchen staff to use. Did Seb's Aunt Pauline have servants?

“Okay, then. Have a seat and I'll fix us some grub,” Seb offered. Kurt smirked to Blaine when he heard him say 'grub'. 

A few minutes later, Sebastian was serving bowls of hot soup and homemade bread.

“Oh, Minestrone!” Blaine said, happy to find it was one of his favorites. “Did you make this?”

“Yeah. I was friends with our cook in France, she taught me how to make this. I hope you like it,” Seb said, looking from one to the other and wondering if they actually liked it or were being polite. He decided they were being genuine and cut pieces of the garlic bread for them all. 

“This is wonderful, Sebbie. You can cook for me any day,” Kurt said, smiling, but he wondered what trick Seb was setting up today.

“Do you have plans for college?” Blaine asked.

“No...well, my parents do and I've applied to several. They want me to go to school in France, but I'm going to stick around here. Auntie has no kids and we get along fine, so she has invited me to stay here if I want to go to a school in commuting distance. I'm probably going to take her up on that. I wouldn't mind taking some voice training, but I don't want that to be my career. It just isn't me, you know?”

The conversation went on, Kurt and Blaine telling Seb about wanting to go to an arts college in New York. Sen grinned and told them he was thinking about it, too. After all, his family had an apartment on Fifth Avenue and he could live there.

“Hey, if you two go to New York, maybe I will, too, and we can share the apartment?” he offered, thinking in the back of his mind how much he'd love to have Blaine as a roommate. And maybe Hummel, too. Maybe.

They finished lunch, the boys all taking their bowls to the sink to rinse and set in the dishwasher. They walked back to Dalton, Kurt and Blaine holding hands.

 

~*~

 

It was late the following night when Kurt was awakened with a shout from across the room. He quickly turned on his bedside lamp, gazing across at Blaine, but Blaine was sound asleep. Princess was up though, her paws on the bed, looking at Blaine's face intently. She nuzzled her nose under his hand as if to ask him to pet her. He trembled in his sleep, brushing her away before calling out again and twisting a piece of the blanket up in his hand and whimpering. Princess was whining and dancing around the bed, finally jumping up to lie next to her master, her head on her silky red front paws.

“Kur...Kurt....tell me it isn't so, please,” he said in a pitiful voice. It was sad and Kurt rushed over to see if he might be able to help.

“Hey, Blaine, what's going on, baby?” Kurt asked, his voice deliberately soft and slow so as not to startle his boyfriend.

Blaine turned partly onto his back, holding the stuffed tiger Kurt had won at the fair for him against his chest. His eyes were closed and he didn't appear to hear Kurt.

“Blaine, it's me, it's Kurt. Is everything all right?” Kurt asked, beginning to get scared. Blaine often had nightmares years ago, but they had not really plagued his sleep since he and Kurt started Dalton. 

Princess was actively trying to wake her master now, shoving her nose under his forearm and trying to lick his face. Blaine blinked awake, looking around him and startling when he saw Kurt sitting beside him and Princess on the bed at his side.

“Kurt...it was so bad....can you just..?” Blaine seemed unable to finish his sentence, sitting up and staring at Kurt with a sad look on his face.

“You want me to hold you, baby?” Kurt asked, because that was usually what Blaine asked after a nightmare.

“No...well, yes, but can you check the door and windows to make sure they're locked first?” Blaine said in a small voice, clutching Princess instead of the stuffed tiger now.

Kurt got up and checked the two windows and the deadbolt on the door. Blaine had asked his father to have it installed when he first came to live in the Dalton dorms and one day they came back to the dorm room and found it had been installed. Kurt didn't want to know how it had been accomplished, but he had a bit more respect for Mr. Anderson's clout after that.

“They're all shut tight and locked securely, Blaine. Okay, my love?” Kurt said, still trying to use calming tones in his voice and pet names to make Blaine feel more comfortable.

“Okay. Thank you. It was only a dream I guess,” Blaine said and laid down once again. Kurt slid under the sheets and cuddled next to Blaine. It was a tight fit – Blaine in the middle with Princess next to the wall and Kurt on the outside – but they made it work. Kurt held Blaine close, stroking his hair and murmuring comforting things into his ear. 

After a while, Blaine had relaxed a lot more and Kurt couldn't help but think since he couldn't sleep.

“Blaine, do you love me?” he asked, wanting to make a point and not realizing what it sounded like.

Blaine turned over and sat up, coaxing Princess back to the floor so they had room in the bed.

“How can you ask me that? Kurt, I've been in love with you for most of my life. What brought that question on?” Blaine asked, staring at Kurt and trying to figure out what made him doubt Blaine.

“I guess I mean not do you love me, because I know you do, but ….in what way? We have never been with anyone else, so what would we have it to compare to? What if we stay together and then one day one of us finds that it wasn't the perfect fit and we never knew because we never dated anyone else?” Kurt tried to explain.

“Ah...is there something you want to tell me, Kurt? Are you dissatisfied with our relationship? Is there someone else? Because I have to tell you – I don't need anyone else to tell me that you are the one I'm in love with and I intend to be in love with you for ever,” Blaine returned, crossing his arms across his chest in a show of insecurity that was not lost on Kurt.

Kurt sat up, too, and pulled Blaine into his lap. He tugged him as tightly to his chest as he could and nuzzled his nose down into Blaine's neck, sighing.

“No, I don't want anyone else. I just wanted to make sure I was what you wanted. I was afraid that you might want to test the waters with someone else just to make sure and I wanted to be strong enough to allow you to do that if you wanted. Blaine, I see how things affect you, the nightmares, the anxiety. This is not the boy I knew when I was eight. I don't love you any less, I just want you to be happy in life and I don't see you as being that happy any more. I was thinking maybe someone else might be good for you. Better than me, anyway.

“No, no, never. Kurt, you are what gets me up in the morning. Oh, I didn't mean that the way it sounded and you know it!” Blaine raised his voice, seeing Kurt blush and laugh at what he thought was implied.

“You know what I mean. Its as if we're an old married couple maybe, predictable and unadventurous. I don't know if I want to be that with you – I don't want to drag you down,” Blaine said, a sadness coming over him that made his whole face into a mask of misery. “I don't want to be the albatross around your neck, Kurt. I'm sick and damaged and you deserve better.” Blaine almost shouted the last of his words, then roughly pushed at Kurt, getting up to open the door to their dorm room and slam it shut behind himself. He was half-way down the hall before he realized that he was only wearing pajama bottoms and had left Princess behind when he really needed her. But he couldn't go back now....he walked along the corridor, turning and following hallway after hallway as if he were lost. 

“Running away isn't the solution, and I know I'm going to regret this...” he said aloud to himself. 

“Hey, Anderson, why are you roaming the halls half dressed in the middle of the night?” Trent asked, opening his door to see what all the ruckus was at two in the morning.

“I don't know...” Blaine mumbled, looking around as though he had no idea where he was.

“Come in and we'll talk about it, okay?” Trent offered. Blaine just stood there, looking around as if he didn't hear anything. Trent walked over and gently took his arm, coaxing him into the dorm room as if he were coaxing a scared puppy from the streets.

“Sit down, I'll get you something to drink. Okay?” Trent offered, quietly.

“Yeah, I'm thirsty I think,” Blaine said, lying down on Trent's bed and curling up in a ball. 

Trent went into the alcove where he kept a hotplate and put on some water to heat. He'd make Blaine some tea. While he was there, he could see Blaine still curled up, his eyes screwed shut and his fingers white with tension as he gripped his arms around his bent legs. Trent got out his cell phone and thumbed through his contacts, selecting Kurt's number. He sent a text:

 

_Blaine is here. He is curled up on my bed, but safe. I'm making tea. What should I do now?_

 

Kurt answered almost immediately:

 

_Thank god, I was worried. Just try to get him to talk. I dont know how to fix this. I'm bringing Princess._

 

Trent thought about that. Maybe Blaine needed to be alone, or just away from Kurt for a little. He sent another text:

_Leave him here for a while. I'll text for you to come get him soon. Give me a chance. Okay?_

 

Kurt read it and felt very bad, was it obvious to others that he was bad for Blaine? Was this his fault? He was scared, but leaving him with Trent might be the best thing for now. At least he knew where Blaine was and that he was safe. He sent Trent a text:

 

_Okay. Call if he needs me or Princess. Thank you. I'll be waiting..._

 

Well, he was waiting, but so unsure of himself now. He thought about calling his dad or Cooper, but they really didn't know how to help Blaine, either. Why cause more stress and pain when it would not help the final result? So, Kurt sat back down on his bed and hugged Princess in his arms, his tears making big dark spots on her fur.

 

Back in Trent's dorm room, Blaine had fallen asleep. He appeared so restful, an angelic look on his face. Trent had been holding him, rocking and smoothing his hand down Blaine's arm to try and comfort him. Trent was one of the few students with a single dorm room, his father being an alumni and a generous donor to the school. Trent was lonely a lot of the time, but in this case he was happy to have a single so he could take care of Blaine. He'd had a crush on him since he first met him at the summer camp, but he wasn't secure enough in his sexuality to act on it back then. Now with Kurt in the picture, he knew he'd never have a chance.

Blaine woke up and shook his head just a little.

“Hey, Trent, do you have anything to drink...and I don't mean tea. I mean something stronger, something to keep me from thinking about how my life sucks so damn much,” Blaine asked, feeling sorry for himself.

“Yeah, sure. Just a moment,” Trent said, going to his desk and opening the bottom drawer. He got out the bottle of amber liquid and the thought crossed his mind that the alcohol was the same color as Blaine's eyes. He smiled and poured two brandy glasses about a quarter full of the strong whiskey and offered one to Blaine. Blaine took the glass and tipped it up, his throat so sexy as he swallowed it all down at once. Trent finished his, too, and poured more. 

It wasn't long before he and Blaine had polished off most of the bottle. It was good whiskey, Trent having stolen it from his father's liquor cabinet the weekend before in retaliation to his dad going off on another 'business trip' with his secretary. 

Blaine wasn't feeling very well. He hadn't eaten much and drinking alcohol just wasn't something he did. He took anti-depression pills and today had taken a dose of anti-anxiety pills as well. Mixing either of those with alcohol was stupid, mixing them both with alcohol could be deadly.

“Hey, I don't feel good. Where's Kurt?” Blaine asked, unable to focus his eyes.

“Blaine, you'll be okay. I'm here with you,” Trent said, hoping that drunk Blaine would mistake his voice for that of his boyfriend. 

Blaine held out grabby-hands and Trent came closer, putting his own hands out to Blaine. He pulled him close and kissed him hard, bruising Blaine's lips as he licked into Blaine's mouth. He moaned and then felt Blaine getting hard, rubbing against his thigh. Well, thought Trent, if Kurt can't give Blaine what he so obviously needed, Trent was perfectly able to....

Blaine closed his eyes, wondering where he was. Well, it didn't matter because Kurt was here with him. 

“Kurt,” he called out and Trent answered him:

“I'm here, honey, and I can give you just what you want.”

“Mmmmm..” Blaine said. It was dark in the room and Kurt didn't smell like he usually did, but when his hands began to undress him Blaine allowed it. 

“Do you want me to make love to you?” Trent asked Blaine and a hot flush came over his body when Blaine nodded his head and kissed his collarbone. He seemed to fall asleep for a moment, and it scared Trent, but he woke up again.

“I'm dizzy, Kurt. Can you make it better?” Blaine whined, feeling strange.

“I'll take all your troubles away, doll. Just lay back and relax.”

“Okay,” Blaine hummed, waiting for Kurt to remove the rest of his clothes. Pretty soon he felt his lover's hands taking off his pajama pants and boxers, then stroking his cock into hardness. Blaine could feel Kurt's cock rubbing along the outside of his thigh and he whined, wanting it closer. 

Trent opened the bottle of lubricant, strawberry flavored. He hadn't ever used it because he didn't have a boyfriend, not even a casual friend-with-benefits. He had made out with several of the boys at Dalton, but it had never progressed past frotting and now Trent was doomed to graduate a virgin. He just couldn't do that. He knew Blaine liked him, and he thought he might forgive him when he found out that he'd been tricked. At least he hoped so.

Trent placed a finger at the bottom of Blaine's spine and slowly ran it down to his opening. Blaine moaned, clutching the blanket under him. Just as he was about to enter him, Trent's cell alerted him that there was a text waiting. Trent ignored it. 

“Whose cell is that?” Blaine asked, not recognizing the ring tone.

“I think it's Thad's. He must have left his cell here last night. Ignore it,” Trent lied, reaching for the phone and switching it off. The text was from Kurt, but he ignored it, too.

“Where were we, honey,” Trent cooed, lying back down next to Blaine and slipping his finger back to where it had been.

“Oh, right there, Kurt...right there,” Blaine moaned. Kurt's fingers felt different – more tentative and with far less control. Maybe Kurt was drunk, too.

Trent pushed in and moaned at the heat. It felt so different than when he fingered himself. He stroked in and out for a while, closing his eyes and imagining what it was going to feel like when he could push his cock inside Blaine. He'd had a huge crush on Blaine for so long, and when he came to school at Dalton, Trent was a little crazy thinking about him all the time.

“Another?” Trent asked.

“Yes, yes...then three, three comes after two,” Blaine said, still confused. Trent ignored it and added more lube and another finger, starting to scissor them to loosen the tight muscle. He'd done this to himself every night for as long as he could remember. By the time he got to three fingers, he was searching for the bundle of nerves to make it better for Blaine. As much as he wanted to just fuck the hell out of the boy in front of him, he did care for Blaine and he did not want to hurt him. It didn't occur to Trent that with as fragile as Blaine was, this might hurt him in ways other than physical. Trent wasn't a bad person, he was lonely and he loved Blaine – in spite of the fact the Blaine did not return his affections. If Trent could show him how good he could make Blaine feel, he might want him. 

“Are you ready for me, honey?” Trent asked, rolling the condom on and slicking it with loads of lube. 

“Kurt? Are you just going to push into me? You usually kiss me all over and stroke me...what's wrong? Are you mad at me? I'm sorry I was so grouchy, Kurt, don't punish me,” Blaine started sobbing and Trent began to panic. He had to do something and do it quickly. Maybe the alcohol was wearing off?

“We don't have as much time tonight, honey. I'm not mad. Feel how happy I am just to be near you?” Trent asked, taking Blaine's hand and placing it on his cock. Blaine curled his fingers around it and squeezed just a little. He still didn't understand. Kurt didn't offer to make love if there wasn't time to do it right. Maybe he was desperate? Did Blaine do something to make him want to do it so quickly? Blaine was still pondering these questions when Kurt flipped him over on his face, pulling him up on his knees so he was accessible. It wasn't very comfortable and Blaine whined in protest. He always wanted to see Kurt's beautiful face. He closed his eyes, determined to get through this without complaint. He didn't want Kurt to think he was unwanted.

“Okay, but I think I need more lube,” Blaine muttered. He wasn't liking this, but maybe because he was drunk. Drunk. He didn't remember feeling this drunk before...ever. It was awful. His head hurt, Kurt hadn't opened him enough and he was tensing up because he thought it was going to hurt. 

“Kurt...no. I'm not ready...” Blaine said, sorrow painting his voice.

“You're fine, just relax and it will be over with in a few minutes,” Trent said. 

“What?” Blaine asked. That didn't sound like something Kurt would ever say to him. He didn't think he liked Kurt drunk if this is what he was like. He didn't have time to think any more before a searing pain erupted in his ass, burning and hurting. He yelped, trying to get away.

“NO! No, you didn't get me ready, Kurt! Kurt! Stop!” Blaine continued to scream, grabbing the head of the bed to get some leverage. The burning got worse as it continued deeper and Blaine struggled to get away but strong hands held him in place, a voice pleading with him to just hold still and it would stop hurting, to just bear with it a little longer...

 

Princess was clawing at the oak door, trying to get out. Kurt was looking at his phone, wondering why Trent wasn't answering. Something must have happened to Blaine. He stepped towards the door, leash in hand to clip it to the dog's collar when the door was opened and Princess took off, her nails scratching the hard wood floor as she ran down the corridor. Jeff and Nick stood there in surprise, but Sebastian took off after the dog, Kurt a step behind him. 

Princess ran, her nose close to the ground for a moment until she heard her master's voice and she put on speed as she ran. Sebastian and Kurt were right behind, and they could hear Blaine when they turned down the last hallway leading to Trent's room. Princess was clawing to get in the door and howling. Sebastian grabbed the knob and turned it, opening the door. He grabbed the little setter's collar as she burst past him and held on tight.

“Oh, my god!” Sebastain said, staring. “What the holy fuck...”

Kurt caught up, looking into the room and blanching. There was Trent, fucking Blaine as he screamed for him to stop, flailing and crying for Kurt to stop.

“Sebastain?” Trent said. “Close the door!”

“No! Get off of him or I'm letting Princess have you!” Sebastain yelled as Kurt ran past him and skidded into the bed, knocking Trent sideways and out of Blaine.

Trent fell off the bed, landing on his hip just as Sebastian let the dog loose. She had never bitten anyone in her life, she wasn't trained to do that. She growled and held Trent at bay, snarling if he so much as moved his arm.

Kurt and Sebastian were on the bed, Kurt holding Blaine in his arms and Sebbie wrapping a blanket around him. Jeff and Nick came in just at that moment, confused and worried because of all the commotion and noise. It was the weekend, so not many boys were in the dorm, but a few stayed at the end of the corridor waiting to see what was happening. 

“Call the campus security,” Sebastain ordered, pointing at Nick. “Don't let anyone in here,” he said to Jeff and the boys hopped to it.

“Kurt, is he okay?” Sebastian asked.

“I don't know. Just keep everyone away while I talk to him,” Kurt said, so grateful Sebastian was there.

“Baby, what happened?” Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear as he held him close.

“I thought it was you. I was talking to you and you wanted to make love to me. But it felt different and I was so dizzy and it was dark. I wasn't ready, and I knew then it wasn't really you and it hurt and I called for you,” Blaine said, so confused. He hurt inside and he was sick to his stomach and had a headache. “I thought it was you...you gave me whiskey, and made me drink the whole thing, then gave me more. It didn't sound like your voice...what happened?” Blaine tried to focus his eyes on Kurt's face.

“I don't understand, Kurt. Who was that?” he asked, looking so confused and sad that Kurt's eyes began to water as he tried to hold it inside. 

“It was Trent, baby. He pretended to be me,” Kurt told him. “Just hold on, baby. The police are coming.”

Blaine looked at Kurt. “I can't believe I didn't know it was him. How could I have mistaken you for him?” Blaine asked, the tears falling faster. “Kurt, I'm sick. I'm gonna....”

And he began to vomit, all over Trent's bed and Kurt's lap. He could hardly get a breath as the whiskey poured back out of him. Kurt held him with strong arms, getting close to panic. He could hear the sirens, but realized it was the campus police, not medical aide.

“Seb, call an ambulance. Blaine is on antidepressants and antianxiety medication. You cannot mix that with alcohol. Blaine? Blaine!” Kurt shouted as he felt Blaine go limp in his arms. He quickly turned him over, making sure there was nothing in his mouth to choke on.

“Stay with me, baby. Wake up and stay with me,” he begged. 

Blaine opened his eyes. He tried to focus on Kurt, but he couldn't. He tried to say something, pulling Kurt down to whisper in his ear. 

“I love you, Kurt. I'm so sorry....”

 

~*~

Everything was chaos. The campus police came and took Trent to a waiting car. He had on handcuffs and looked so sad, but not one of them felt sorry for him. 

The ambulance came and allowed Kurt to accompany them to the hospital. They inserted IVs into Blaine's veins as they raced across the city to the hospital. A nurse got clean scrub shirts and pants for Kurt to change into, then took him to Blaine's exam room. Kurt was overjoyed to find Blaine was awake, if a bit drunk. That feeling was lost in a split second as Blaine shifted and yelped as he rolled onto his back. He looked at Kurt with confusion in his eyes.

“It hurts, Kurt,” he said in a whisper, holding his hand out to Kurt.

“Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I'm going to be with you, they won't make me leave. I love you, Blaine. Here, the nurse is here to give you something for the pain.”

“Okay, Kurt. Is it going to be okay? Please, Kurt, please...” Blaine said, but he didn't know what it was he wanted from Kurt. He was still so drunk and confused. “What?” he asked several times.

“Hey, Blaine. Don't worry. You're going to be fine. I promise. I'll explain everything to you in good time, but you need to rest for now.” Kurt kissed his temple, running his fingers through the silky curls. He closed his eyes and tried to understand why this would happen to Blaine of all people. His Blaine, the most beautiful person in the whole wide world, why was he made to suffer? Blaine had never hurt anyone, ever. He didn't deserve this. Kurt sat close to Blaine, holding his hands, when he looked up to see a familiar face.

“How is he?” Sebastain asked, putting a supportive arm around Kurt. Kurt jumped, but Seb gave him a look that said it was purely platonic, helping gesture and Kurt relaxed into it. He was so stressed and strung too tight, he knew he needed someone to lean on and Seb was the only one there. Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and walked outside the cubicle with Sebastian.

“He's not good. I don't think he knows what happened to him. He thought he was with me, and he seems confused when he rolls over and puts pressure...” Kurt stopped, not sure how to say this.

“Its okay, I know what you mean. Do they know what caused the ...black out?” Seb asked.  
“Yeah. He's taking both an anti-anxiety and an anti-depressant. When he mixed them with alcohol it made him extremely drunk. You can go into seizures or hallucinate, even go into a coma. I know he is bad off, but in some ways he was lucky he didn't end up worse. I don't understand why Trent of all people would do this,” Kurt shook his head, looking at Sebbie.

“I think we're all capable of doing insane things if we're pushed too hard. I know Trent was lonely, and I know he thought he was in love with Blaine. His eyes would follow Blaine whenever they were in the same room. I guess he was on the edge and he saw a vulnerability in Blaine,” Seb thought out loud.

“Blaine and I had been arguing. It was about him being needy – although I don't see him that way. He got upset and ran out the door, slamming it in Princess' face. He never does that, so he must have been awfully upset. He'd just woken from a nightmare when the argument started,” Kurt told him.

“Trent must have seen that and took advantage. I stayed long enough to overhear Trent saying he was at fault, that he tried to rape Blaine. I don't know what's going to happen to him now. I'm sure his daddy has a lawyer on retainer,” Seb said. “Well, maybe you need to get back to Blaine, Kurt. He needs you,” Sebastain put his arms out and Kurt fell into them, crying as he put his head on the taller boy's shoulder.

“Thanks, Seb. I appreciate everything you've done. Oh, where's Princess?” Kurt paled, admonishing himself for not thinking of Blaine's therapy dog.

“She's in my car. Do you think they'll let her in here?” he asked.

Kurt flagged down the nurse as she left Blaine's cubicle. He explained about the service dog and she told him the dog would be allowed in if he had her papers or harness. Kurt pulled a card from his wallet and showed it to her and she nodded. 

“It might help him, go ahead and bring her,” she said.

“Seb?” Kurt turned.

“I'm already on it. We'll be right back, Kurt. Hang in there, Blaine is going to be okay,” he told Kurt, patting him on the shoulder before taking off down the hallway.

Kurt was back at Blaine's side and reached to hold his hand.

“Hey, baby. How are you doing?” Kurt asked.

“He..he kept calling me 'honey'. You never call me that. How did I not know it wasn't you?” Blaine asked.

“Its okay. You were under the influence of the drugs mixed with alcohol and it messed with your brain. You are not responsible for what happened. Do you remember much?” Kurt asked. 

“No. Just that little bit – that he said he was you and wanted to make love to me....oh. Kurt?” Blaine's eyes were big and he was very pale. “Kurt, is that why I'm having pain...down there? Did he? Did Trent..rape me?” Blaine asked, his eyes never even blinking as he looked to Kurt for the answer. Kurt nodded his head, but Blaine didn't seem to register it.

The doctor walked in, looking at Blaine. 

“Hello, Blaine. I came to see how you're feeling now. We got the tests back and your blood and urine tests show positive for the drugs you were prescribed and for a hallucinogenic drug. Coupled with the alcohol, you are lucky to be talking to me. Also lucky that it is a short-term drug and is probably out of your system by now. Are you still feeling drunk?”

“Yeah, but not nearly as much. I can see things now, my focus is coming back. Can...” he was cut short when Princess came into the room, making a yodeling sound. She was so nervous, first seeing her beloved master in trouble, then being placed in a car by a boy she hardly knew, then taken into a place she'd never been. Now that she saw Blaine, she was calm and went directly to him, hopping up on the bed without invitation and pressing close to him as she was trained to do. She nudged his forearm until he wrapped it around her.

“Oh, Princess. I love you, girl,” he cooed, holding her tightly. “Kurt, come hold us.”

Kurt moved to sit close to Blaine. The nurses and doctor left them alone and soon after Sebastain got up to say goodbye.

“Thank you, Sebbie, for everything,” Kurt said, watching Blaine sleep. “Come visit us tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, I'll come if you want me to,” he said, looking suddenly shy.

“We do,” Kurt said and Seb left.

 

~*~

A few days later, Blaine was sitting in the family room at the Hummel house, Kurt right beside him on the sofa. Burt and Cooper had both come right away when Sebastian called them, having gotten the number from Kurt. Blaine was given a clean bill of health and instructions to spend spring break at home relaxing. He had a therapist to see, his old one so he was comfortable with her. In the end he had asked his lawyer to propose they drop the charges against Trent in exchange for mandatory living in a mental health hospital until he was well again. Trent agreed and his parents finally agreed. Blaine didn't even seem to hold a grudge against the boy, something Kurt had trouble getting over.

“I know what its like to be lonely, Kurt. I think it was so bad for so long, it made him crazy. I cannot condemn someone for being mentally ill,” Blaine explained. 

 

Kurt was glad Blaine was back seeing the therapist and encouraged Blaine to tell her about his breakdown, not thinking he was worth the value that Kurt placed on him. Blaine agreed to get that out in the open and find a way to overcome it. They both felt hopeful about this, especially since they were going to graduate soon and the next step would be college. 

 

It turned out to be a few weeks more than just spring break that Kurt and Blaine stayed at the Hummel house. Blaine was going to his therapist every day for the first week, learning to understand what had happened to him and how he might channel his anxiety. Getting well was a long process, especially coupled with the trauma he had already suffered. The therapist suggested that Kurt return to school and let Blaine have some time alone, but Blaine was not having that at all. He fought against it so hard they finally relented and Kurt was allowed to stay.

 

“So, do you think we'll get into the colleges we want?” Kurt asked. He knew Blaine's father wanted him to go to Princeton, but Blaine wanted Tisch for the music program. Kurt was holding out for Parson's or NYADA. Both had sent in the applications and done the auditions, and were waiting for the results. 

 

“I know you got in, Kurt. So quit pouting,” Blaine said, leaning back into the pile of pillows and giving Kurt that look of total love.

“I think we both got in,” Kurt returned. “After the crap that's gone down this year, we need a break.”

“Amen.”

Princess barked, wagging her tail as Burt came down the stairs. 

“Oh, hey, guys. I just wanted to make sure you don't mind if go out tonight with Carole. If you want..” Burt started to say, but got interrupted.

“We're fine. Kurt is making dinner and we both think you need to have some fun. Okay?” Blaine said, grinning at Burt.

“Okay. We're going to the double feature at the drive-in. I'll call after and leave a text if I decide to stay the night,” Burt said, blushing.

“Okay, but be safe,” Kurt said in his best imitation of his father. Burt laughed.

“See you tomorrow. It's so nice having my boys home again.”

 

Blaine was lying on his bed in their bedroom, dozing in the sunshine that poured in the open window. Princess was in the backyard, snoozing under the maple tree. Kurt was finishing the dishes and came down the stairs, walking softly in case Blaine was sleeping. 

“Hey,” Blaine greeted him. 

“Hey, yourself. How are you feeling?” Kurt asked.

“With my fingers,” Blaine laughed and Kurt cringed.

“That was terrible. You seem to be in a good mood. What's up?” Kurt asked.

“I was thinking that graduation is coming soon. Time for a senior prank, isn't it?” Blaine suggested, grinning. Kurt hadn't seen him this happy in years.

“Oh, and what are you thinking?” 

“I have a few ideas, but we need to make it so that we don't get caught. You know how Headmaster Ethridge feels about horseplay,” Blaine said, imitating the administrator's voice. Kurt giggled.

“I know we're going to leave our mark on this year. It's time for my legend to be reborn,” Blaine said, sitting up.

“Legend?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah, you recall what Jeff said about us being legends at Cloudy Pine? Man, that prank was great – although that wasn't what was on my mind when I snuck into the luggage compartment of that bus. I only wanted to be with you, Kurt.” Blaine looked at his boyfriend, who blushed. He scooted closer to Blaine and put his arms around him.

“I'm glad you did, baby,” Kurt said. “I would have been lost without you.”

Blaine leaned closer and kissed him, his arms going automatically around his neck.

“I don't ever want to be without you,” Blaine said. 

Kurt laid back on the bed, pulling Blaine with him and they snuggled together as they had done so many times throughout the years. 

“Blaine, you won't ever be without me. Like I have told you before, we're end game, right?”

“Yes, Kurt, we are.”

“Blaine? I know you've had a lot of things happen lately..and I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for, but I can't read your mind. I don't know how to ask you this question,” Kurt's voice got softer, then he just stopped talking, his hands in fists as he fought himself. He needed to know what Blaine was thinking, but he also didn't want to cross any lines. Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

“Kurt, look at me,” Blaine said, cupping his cheek gently and turning his head. “Please, just look at me.”

“Okay,” Kurt agreed, reluctantly.

“Kurt, you are the love of my life. You can ask me anything. I think I know what you want, though. You want to know if Trent drugging me and then...molesting me..has changed us. No. I don't really remember what Trent did. I came to terms with what happened with what Jenn did a while ago. I love it when you touch me, Kurt. I do. So, let's not let bad circumstances color our love -okay?” Blaine said, holding Kurt's gaze. He didn't wait for a verbal answer, he pushed Kurt gently to the mattress, lying on top of him and kissing him with all the want and need he had been feeling for the past week. 

The soft kiss turned into a passionate one as they struggled to get as close to each other as possible. Blaine wanted Kurt and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He pulled at Kurt's clothes, stripping them off as quickly as he could while Kurt helped. He was naked in just a few minutes. 

“Kurt, I love you so much, and I've missed you, missed having you naked beside me in bed. Can we..?” he asked, kissing his boyfriend's neck.

“Yes, Blaine...make love to me, please,” Kurt whispered in his ear. There was really no foreplay, there didn't need to be. Blaine took the lube and it was not much longer before Kurt was ready and panting in Blaine's ear, begging him to be inside of him. Every whispered word made Blaine harder. He had imagined doing this – not slow and gentle love but passionate and furious. He didn't hurt Kurt, but he wasted no time in getting him into position and thrusting himself deep inside. He pushed hard, making Kurt scream. It made him hesitate, worried for a second that he had hurt Kurt, but his lover bit his ear and scratched down his back and he was thrusting again.

“Harder!” Kurt demanded, “Fill me up, Blaine, give me more.” Blaine was ready and able to do just that. He scooped Kurt up, his arms supporting his waist, so he could get a better angle and thrust once more as deep as he had ever gone. Kurt gasped and moaned so loud it made Blaine shiver. 

“Oh, yes, Blaine, Blaine...” Kurt had lost the ability to speak in coherent sentences, just moaning his pleasure and his lover's name over and over.

“Kurt, I love you,” Blaine said, moving quicker now, loving the heat from Kurt's body as it enveloped him. He closed his eyes for a moment and that intensified the feelings. This was not going to take long, and even though he loved to go slow to savor the emotions and feelings, he needed to just thrust blindly and posses Kurt in this way. Kurt had no objections. Blaine had never been like this and Kurt was loving every effort, every time Blaine buried himself deep within his body.

“Kurt, it's so good, I can't stop..” Blaine said, pushing the final time and freezing for a second as he came with every bit of strength in his body, feeling it trigger Kurt's own release as they fell together and lay still.

 

Later that night, Kurt lay in Blaine's arms, his head resting on his lover's chest. 

“Blaine, I've never seen you like that. Is everything okay?” Kurt ventured to ask. Blaine had been shy and reserved for so long, this was a huge difference. 

“I don't know, Kurt. I'm finally feeling like myself again,” Blaine said, nuzzling into Kurt's neck where the soft scented skin always made him feel like he was home. He kissed him softly and sighed in contentment.

Kurt wrapped himself around Blaine, happy and content to be in his arms and grateful for having him back.


	10. Nineteen Years Old

Kurt walked across the coffee house, a swing in his hips and a cup of coffee in each hand. It was cold outside, an early fall frost, and Kurt was wearing a short pilot's jacket that just showed off his tight, shapely ass that was covered in the skin-hugging fabric of his teal blue jeans. He had spent an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror this morning, checking out every aspect of his face and how he looked in the ensemble he had chosen for the day. He did his best to dress in a way that would put him in his best light for all to see. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Kurt cooed as he walked over to a table in the back and set the cup down in front of Sebastian. Kurt batted his eyelashes in an exaggerated attempt to flirt, throwing his right hip out and placing his hand on the hip.

“Thank you, darling,” Seb returned, planting a loud kiss on Kurt's cheek.

“Will you two stop it, “ Blaine admonished, pulling Kurt into his lap and tilting him back to kiss his lips as his own hand went to that hip, caressing gently until Kurt sat back up and Seb laughed.

“Okay, sorry. But the look on the face of that grumpy woman just deserved a show, don't you think?” Kurt said, shifting to sit in his own chair. Blaine's eyes followed him.

“She left as soon as Seb kissed your cheek. Probably to poison our drinking water or something,” Blaine said.

The three friends laughed a bit more, then settled into their usual chatting about school, families, and the coming holiday. Kurt held Blaine's hand as if by habit and Seb wondered if they did this with conscious thought or if it was a habit so well established that they just gravitated towards each other like magnets. It was a week until Thanksgiving and classes were over as of today. Tickets home to Ohio were expensive, so the three had opted to spend the holiday in New York. They would try to go home for Christmas.

“I think we should host Thanksgiving for all of our friends,” Seb argued again. “I don't want to go home to Ohio this year, do you?”

“I do, but I don't think I can afford it,” Kurt said. Blaine and Sebbie exchanged looks. Both of them had offered to buy Kurt a ticket to go see his dad, both had been turned down with the excuse that it was too much. Blaine had spoken to Seb later, and they agreed that is was probably that Kurt wanted to feel independent and not a burden to either of his roommates. Blaine rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything else.

“How about we ask a bunch of people who can't get home for the holidays? Like an Orphan Thanksgiving?” Seb introduced, hoping his idea would be a way to meet more people. He wanted a boyfriend, but hadn't met anyone special yet. He had that reputation of being a playboy, but in his heart he wanted what Blaine and Kurt had.

“Okay, you won me over, Seb. Who do you want to invite?” Kurt asked.

“Let's have Rachel and Mercedes, and Jeff and Nicky?” Blaine asked. A few of their friends had moved to New York to go to school. Mercedes and Rachel were sharing a loft in Bushwick and attending NYADA. Both Jeff and Nick were going to Stony Brook: Jeff for mathematics and Nick for mechanical engineering. Sebastian was also at Stony Brook, a double in music and French literature. He was still getting flack from Kurt and Blaine, given his hate of France, but he thought he could use it to teach.

“Invite anyone who can't get home, let's make this a bog night. Okay, okay. Now, who's going to cook this feast?” Seb asked and both men looked at Kurt.

“Hey, that's fine with me. I'll cook everything from the cranberry sauce to the pecan pies, but if I do that, it means you two have to do the wash-up at the end of the night,” Kurt grinned.

“Ah...I could help cook?” Blaine offered, smiling a flirty smile at his boyfriend.

“No fair! I can cook, too!” Seb said. “Oh, hell, I'll just hire a maid to come clean up. Okay?”

Blaine rolled his eyes. Leave it to Seb to hire a maid on Thanksgiving.

“Look at the time! Everybody drink up, we need to get on our way. It feels like snow and I'm not dressed for that!” Kurt said. The three friends got up and made their way to the subway, getting off in downtown Manhattan. 

 

~*~

 

“Hey, beautiful!” Blaine greeted Princess as they walked into the apartment. Kurt and Blaine had moved in with Sebastian when they got their acceptance letters from NYU. The apartment was convenient, fashionable, almost free, and Seb never told them to keep it down if they got loud in the bedroom. Kurt had worried at first when Seb suggested they share the place a year ago, but after Trent had drugged and molested Blaine, Seb had been there for both of them in every capacity a friend could be. In spite of his reputation, Kurt now knew him to be a warm, loyal friend and he wanted the best for Seb. He had been thinking about who to invite to Thanksgiving dinner that would deserve such a good man – and could see through the thick shell Sebastian built around himself.

“I'm thinking some pasta with fresh veggies, a bottle of wine, some garlic bread for dinner?” Blaine said, hungry after the long day of classes. “Maybe some chicken picatta?”He usually took Princess with him to class, but she had cut the pad of her foot on a piece of glass and the vet had told him to keep her home for two weeks. Princess had been moping for three days now. She had no way of understanding why she was quarantined to the house and it was fraying her delicate nerves.

“Hey, Blaine, why don't you and Kurt go and spend some time with your poor dog there, and I'll get dinner. I think she needs some quality time, don't you think?” Seb told his friend. He teased about the dog, but he loved her almost as much as Blaine and Kurt did.

“Really, you don't mind? Blaine asked, hopeful. He was worried about her. He looked over at Kurt for confirmation before accepting Seb's offer. “Okay, but I will make it up to you. I'll clean the bathrooms and take out the trash for the whole two weeks she's laid up,” Blaine offered. Seb grinned.

“Deal,” he winked at Blaine. Kurt glowered at him, but didn't say a word. Seb winked at him and Blaine bumped his shoulder. Kurt giggled as the three of them got up to start the trek back to the apartment.

 

~*~

_Kurt and Blaine shared a bedroom in the east end of the huge apartment, Sebastian's room was in the far west corner. All of the rooms had thick walls and heavy doors, as did most apartment buildings built in the 1920's in Manhattan. This one had been in the Smythe family since it was built, each generation had adding modern amenities, so the kitchen was state-of-the-art in every detail._

_Sebastian's Aunt Pauline liked Kurt and Blaine and given them carte blanche to do whatever they liked in terms of decorating their room and Kurt had taken taken that to heart in their shared bedroom. Blaine had certain things he would have loved to have in the room, but he didn't want to hurt Kurt's feelings. He was pleasantly surprised when Kurt declared the room done. He had covered Blaine's eyes tightly and walked down the long hallway behind him. He could hear Kurt's breath, excited but apprehensive, as they went into the large room._

“ _Ready?” Kurt asked and before Blaine could answer the hands were gone and he was blinking in the sudden light. His eyes swept over the walls of the room. It was painted a soft dove gray with a bit of a pinkish tinge to it. Blaine smiled. They had been reading “The Thornbirds” and he recognized this as the color of Meggie's gown called 'Ashes of Roses'. He loved it. The furniture was dark cherry with satin-finished antique brass hardware._

_The centerpiece of the room was the fireplace, gray stone with a white marble mantle. Small tables with huge vases filled with roses on each side. The bed was a queen size, the counterpane soft gray with a wedding ring quilt on top. Blaine recognized it as the one Kurt's grandmother had made for Elizabeth and Burt for a wedding present._

_He thought if this were only Kurt's room that it might have floral or pastoral scenes on the walls, but instead there were more modern geometric patterned paintings in shades that matched the room perfectly. He walked closer and saw in the corner the initials “KEH”._

“ _Kurt, you painted these?” Blaine asked._

_Kurt blushed._

“ _I couldn't find anything that fit, so I had to paint them myself. Mr Casagranda let me do them in art class after hours. We can replace them as we find more appropriate pieces to add to the room,” Kurt looked away, but Blaine took his cheek in the palm of his hand and held him still, kissing him on his beautiful pink lips._

“ _No, Kurt. We're never changing them. I love them,” Blaine smiled and Kurt put his arms around his boyfriend and returned his kiss._

_Blaine let go and walked further into the room. There were matching cherry desks in the alcove. Above one was a baby dress framed as if it were a picture. It was very old, the lace around the bottom hem a pale blue tatted lace that matched the tiny bonnet. Blaine thought he'd seen it in a chest in the attic at the Hummel house one summer when they were looking for treasures._

_Above his desk was a large framed portrait of Princess. She was about six months old in the picture and Blaine remembered the day it was taken. Princess and had just had a bath and brush. It was summer and she was standing in the sun in the field where they went to throw a ball for her. She had on a green plaid collar and small matching bows in her fur, just above her ears. Her complete attention was on something just past the camera's range and the intense look on her face was so beautiful. Blaine knew what she was looking at: him. He had been having a rough day and Kurt had talked him into taking her for a run. He was sitting, curled around himself, waiting for Kurt to decide to leave and return home._

_It was the first day Princess had come to him and laid her head on his knee, looking at him with her soft brown eyes and reaching into his soul to heal him. Tears came briefly to his eyes before he turned his attention to the rest of the room._

_The floor was hardwood, maybe maple, and there were a few braided scatter rugs. They also looked homemade. Beside their bed was a bed for Princess complete with pillow and a place for her water dish. Of course there were the closets and dressers. This room had three large windows, one a bay with deep window seat. The cover on the window seat cushions matched the drapes and the dog bed, sage green, gray, and dusty rose plaid._

“ _Oh, Kurt, I love it. I was expecting a room that would reflect your personality – which would be so nice – but you did this with my taste in mind, I know it. I love you,” Blaine said, throwing his arms around his boyfriend. He let go, turning to look behind himself. There were two sets of shelves, one with trophies and ribbons from Glee Club competitions, Blaine standing in the spotlight at Nationals when he sang the lead solo, polo tournaments that featured Blaine holding the reins of his pony, Chukkar, Kurt sitting in the tree house his father built for him, cheerleading camp, Kurt's picture from the football game when he kicked the winning goal. All of these things were on the shelves along with mementos: the stuffed tiger Kurt won for him at the fair, a tooled wallet Blaine made for Kurt one summer in a craft class, small mementos from vacations and summer trips. In the center of the shelves was a space for a larger frame and in the frame was Blaine's favorite picture: two little boys, one with a mop of shiny curls, the other with his hair shaved close to his skull. They were holding hands tightly as they stood up after taking another final bow. They wore costumes for the community play. Blaine was Piglet and Kurt was Pooh._

 

~*~

After dinner, Sebastian announced that he was going out and might not be back until the next morning...or afternoon. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

 

“Got a hot date?” Blaine asked.

“You might say so,” Seb's grin grew wider.

“Oh, it's that barista at Dardano's Espresso, isn't it?” Kurt smirked. Seb had been propositioning that poor man for months, could he have finally given in and said yes?

Seb blushed. 

“Well, I gave up a month ago, then yesterday he served me...and left me his phone number on my coffee cup. I called and we're going out dancing tonight and then home to watch a movie. He said bring my overnight bag. He wrote it on my coffee cup in red pen. With a tiny heart,” Seb was definitely blushing now.

“Be careful, Seb. Keep your phone on you and call us if you need anything,” Blaine said, happy for their friend.

“So, why did he basically ignore you for months and now he wants a sleepover?” Kurt asked, suspicious.

“He just turned eighteen yesterday,” Seb grinned. “And I'm giving him a birthday present.”

Nobody asked him what the present was.

“Okay, we'll see you tomorrow. Be safe,” Kurt smiled at him, giving him a hug before he left. Seb kissed both of his roommates on the cheek and was out the door, overnight bag in his hand.

~*~

“C'mere Princess,” Blaine called, coaxing his dog into the bathroom to change the bandage on her paw. He was terribly squeemish about this, so Kurt had come along to do the honors. Blaine held her head close to his chest, rubbing the place she loved behind her ears while Kurt took the scissors and clipped the old bandage off. He put on new medication, added a gauze pad, and wrapped the whole thing in white gauze, ending with tape. 

“There, girl, all better?” Blaine asked, looking a bit green.

“It looks good. I think she's going to be fine. She isn't even limping any more,” Kurt observed.

 

They walked back to their bedroom, changing into more comfortable clothes. Climbing on the bed together, Blaine laid back and put out an arm, inviting Kurt to lay his head in his lap. They would lie like that often when they watched movies or read books. Kurt reached to the bedside table and handed Blaine his book, then opened his own and put on his reading glasses. Blaine's fingers went to Kurt's head, running through the thick chestnut locks. Kurt hummed in happiness, he loved it when Blaine did this.

Blaine didn't read a single word. His gaze went to Kurt. He was so sexy in the glasses. Why hadn't he noticed that before? It had only been a week ago that Blaine had been day dreaming about Kurt in those librarian glasses. It disturbed him a little, these dreams. He had experienced night dreams about Kurt when they were younger, before they came out to each other, but this was different. This happened during the day when he was in class or riding the subway or eating in the cafeteria. He would be sitting there, concentrating on the musical notes in front of him when suddenly he found himself imagining Kurt. Some days it was just Kurt's face, smiling at him, but some days it was Kurt in the reading glasses, naked and erect, calling to Blaine as he stroked himself. Blaine would shake his head and return to the classroom, sometimes having to hide his excited state with his book bag as he walked across campus to another class. 

 

“Do you have much homework?” Blaine asked, trying to steer his mind to less erotic thoughts.

“Ah, we're on Thanksgiving break, Blaine. Where is your head today?” he asked. “As a matter of fact, you've seemed preoccupied for a while. Is something at school bothering you?” Kurt asked, looking at his friend over the thick black frames of his glasses. That look went straight to Blaine's pants and he shifted a bit to be sure Kurt couldn't feel him getting hard.

“No, no, nothing's new. Just the same classes. I have a small project due the week after we get back, but it's almost done, so no worries.”

Kurt sat up a little, his weight now on his elbow as he looked Blaine full in the face.

“No, there's something wrong, I can tell. Blaine, we've known each other more than half of our lives, don't you think I know when something's troubling you?” Kurt said, just a shade on the exasperated side. 

“I suppose. What if I don't want to talk about it?” Blaine asked, his eyebrows raising as he tried to throw Kurt off the subject.

“Well, then, I suppose that's your prerogative, isn't it?” Kurt snapped, his icy bitch gaze settling itself on his face. He huffed out a breath and got up, wandering around the room. He went over to the shelves and looked at the framed photographs there. He loved the one of the play, the two of them holding hands. Had they known then that they would end up together? Was it fate or chance that they met at a time they each desperately needed someone in their lives? Kurt had been sure for years that it was fate, which was kind of funny since he didn't believe in a god. He blinked his eyes and his gaze settled on the one taken the summer they turned sixteen and went on the road trip. 

Everything had seemed so bright and promising that night – he and Blaine, who had probably been in love for years, discovered they were both gay. They had kissed and the stars were brighter in the sky. They touched each other and rockets exploded. They had seen a future together, an amazing life.

The truth was slow in coming. They cuddled and petted and kissed every chance they got, but there were solid walls built up around them and when Kurt eventually hit the wall that surrounded Blaine, it was devastating. Blaine had been hurt and damaged, so Kurt was patient and took down the wall, brick by brick. Then they were attacked at the school dance, and Trent raped Blaine. Now he and Blaine were still together, but each time they began to get intimate, Blaine froze and Kurt pulled back, afraid to damage him even more. They did make love, twice. It had not happened again, and Kurt missed it. Not like an habitual thing, but he wanted Blaine to be closer to him, he wanted to be closer to Blaine. He could tell it was what Blaine wanted, too, but they had not found a way to talk about it. Not yet. Kurt was still stepping lightly, Blaine was making excuses to himself, and the connection they had all of their lives was beginning to fray. When would this dance end?

Princess followed Kurt across the room, sitting by his side and wagging her tail.

“Need to go out, Princess? Kurt asked and she wagged her tail harder.

“I can take her out, Kurt,” Blaine said, getting up to slip on some sweats and a hoodie. 

“We can both take her,” Kurt countered, getting dressed, too.

They took the little Irish setter out, walking slowly so she didn't damage her paw any worse, and strolled over to the park down the street. They took a short path so the dog wouldn't have to walk very far and their hands came together as they had since the boys were first friends.

“Beautiful night,” Kurt mentioned, looking at Blaine. He could feel the tension in Blaine's body; he was practically trembling with anxiety.

“Yes, look at the stars,” Blaine answered without looking up from where his gaze was pinned to the path.

“Ah, Blaine, we're under a canopy of trees, how do you know what the stars look like?”

“Just a guess....or maybe I saw them earlier,” he answered, obviously preoccupied. 

“Hey, Blaine, what is it?” Kurt asked again. Blaine steered Princess to a bench beside the path and sat down.

“Kurt, do you ever get tired of us?” Blaine asked, fear in his eyes.

“No. Never. Well, when you forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste, but...” Kurt tried for levity but failed miserably.

“I'm serious. Does the thought ever cross your mind that we should ...see other people? Experience new things? We have only ever been with each other and it might be a good idea to see what the rest of the world is like,” Blaine said very softly, almost to himself.

“What? Blaine? Are you sorry you and I are...” Kurt stopped, trying to think of what they were to each other.

“See, you don't even know what we are together. Are we friends? Boyfriends? Lovers? Roommates? What?” Blaine asked.

“I didn't know we were labeling our relationship, Blaine. Perhaps we're just ships that pass in the night? Is that what you're saying? That all the years of love and friendship are nothing? Damn it, Blaine! It sounds like you are doubting me. Have I done something?” Kurt almost shouted. He felt like the world was shaking below his feet and was thankful he was sitting down.

“I don't know, which was why I was asking you, knucklehead,” Blaine snapped back. He looked angry, but Kurt knew him better than that. He wasn't angry – at least not with Kurt. He was angry at himself. Kurt would put money on it.

“I'd like to think of us as boyfriends. Or soulmates. That is closer – Blaine, you know my heart, and I flatter myself to think I know yours. Well, as much as anyone can know another person's heart,” Kurt said softly, cuddling close to Blaine on the bench. He could see Blaine was feeling insecure, and pretty anxious judging by the way Princess was pasting her head to Kurt's thigh. She could feel his apprehension and was attempting to soothe her master.

Blaine rubbed the dog behind her ears. 

“You do, Kurt. I'm so sorry, I'm just not myself,” he said, closing his eyes as he touched his lips to the warmth and softness of Kurt's mouth. Even this small encounter had the power to get Blaine to that stage where he was half hard, wanting to touch Kurt. Wishing he could take him to bed and make love to him. But Blaine was filled with fear. He closed his eyes for a moment and then thanked whomever had invented long coats. He wrapped himself in his coat and they started back to Seb's apartment.

 

Back in their room, they pulled off the layers of clothing and crawled back into bed; Kurt in his navy blue silk pajamas and Blaine in a T-shirt and boxer briefs. Blaine turned to Kurt and instead of scooting up to the headboard so they could watch another movie that Kurt had downloaded, Blaine shut off the light and turned to go to sleep. Kurt was surprised. Blaine always asked him if he was done and ready to go to sleep. This was...different. Kurt had been ready to watch a movie, cuddle, probably kiss for a while. They did kiss a lot.

A bit shocked at Blaine's actions, Kurt chalked it up to being tired after the problems they had run into. He actually _was_ sleepy, so he turned away from Blaine and closed his eyes, ready to sleep. It was a few moments later when Kurt was drifting off that he felt a hand caressing his ass. What? Blaine never did that. Had Seb come home and was now creating an elaborate joke? No. Princess would bark if Seb came into their bedroom.

“Blaine?” Kurt questioned.

“MmmHmmm,” Blaine hummed, kissing the nape of Kurt's neck. He brought an arm around Kurt's body, holding him close and kissing more. Kurt was surprised, but not about to argue. It felt good to have Blaine kissing him, rubbing and massaging his sensitive ass cheeks. Kurt briefly wondered if this was only true of himself, his strange craving to have Blaine just rub his tooshie. He smiled to himself for a moment. No, it was probably universal.

Blaine's massaging hands were working their way up his back, warmth sinking in to Kurt's skin as he went. Kurt practically purred at the sensation.

“Let's get rid of these pajamas, Kurt,” Blaine said, pulling the hem of his boyfriend's silk pajama shirt up and over his head. 

“I don't want even a thread of fabric between us,” he whispered, kissing Kurt's neck and curling his tongue around and behind Kurt's ear, leaving delicious shivers in its wake.

Kurt hurried to take down his pajama pants, laying them neatly on the bedside table beside Blaine's, and slid back under the covers. 

“Blaine...?” Kurt started to ask him what was going on, but Blaine stopped all discussion by kissing him. His mouth was warm and wet and Kurt opened his lips to drink him in, running his fingers through the silky curls he loved so much as he danced his tongue against Blaine's. He was still surprised and amazed – Blaine didn't act like this. He was shy in bed, always waiting for Kurt to make the first move and then hesitant about each touch or kiss. This was a side of Blaine that Kurt had missed for so long and he wasn't going to ruin it with a lot of talking. He moved so more of his body was under Blaine, their thighs touching. 

The kisses held the promise of so much more and Kurt was under the spell, his heart galloping so fast that one beat was tripping over the next. He wanted _more_ so much that his body was trembling and stole his breath as he pressed his tongue deeper into Blaine's mouth to taste the sweetness that was the essence of Blaine. It was intoxicating.

Blaine couldn't believe he'd had the balls to just start this with Kurt. It was born of so many years of wanting, yearning, wishing that he could have all of Kurt. He wished he could have everything without all the doubts and fears that came to eat him alive. Tonight he had given in to the yearning and when the roadblocks came in his head he had pushed them aside and blanked out all of those feelings, only letting his lust for Kurt come through.

Suddenly kissing wasn't enough and he had to touch Kurt, touch all of him. His thumbs ran down Kurt's throat, his blood on fire and surging south as Kurt's swallowed. Blaine let out a soft moan at the thought and closed his eyes to clear his head before continuing. He skimmed across Kurt's collarbone, so delicate in the midst of the strong muscles. The heat from Kurt's body was familiar, but tonight it was more – as if his quickly beating heart was warming him. 

Blaine laid his cheek on Kurt's chest, listening to his heart. He loved to be this close to Kurt, he fell asleep most nights with his hand right here, the feel of the strong heart beating under his fingers was his safe place. He kissed the place and then moved on, pressing his tongue around the left nipple as Kurt squirmed in the bed trying to get closer. 

Kurt was such a contrast to Blaine, and Blaine was enjoying every aspect of that: the slight smattering of almost-blond hair across his chest, the pale beauty of that long expanse of skin, the legs that went on forever. Even his eyes were the opposite of Blaine's, Kurt's contained the power of the sky and the ocean while Blaine's were warm like the fire that dwelt in his heart. Blaine pulled back and just looked at Kurt, his eyes caressing Kurt's body was as tender as his hands. 

He dipped his head back down to where Kurt was laid taut on his back on the bedcovers, his fingers making fists in the fabric as Blaine kissed his chest. He drew circles around Kurt's right nipple with his tongue, then sucked gently. Kurt was having trouble holding still as his back arched to get closer to Blaine's warm skin. The soft sounds melted into quiet whimpers and sighs as Blaine kissed the inside of Kurt's left wrist. His warm breath was featherlight on Kurt's skin and he shivered once again, the yearning tingling down his spine.

Blaine stopped and sat up, looking once again at Kurt and smiling. Here was the boy he had been dreaming of all week, flushed with desire, open and waiting for him. He traced his name across Kurt's stomach and Kurt groaned.

Kurt arched his neck: his body's attempt to coax Blaine into sucking his nipples again. Blaine saw and understood, one hand circling and rubbing the left one while he sucked gently on the right until Kurt was moaning louder. Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine could see Kurt's cock, flushed red and extending thick and hard against his belly. Without even the thought of permission, Blaine took the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, tasting Kurt, memorizing it. His eyes fell closed once again while he gathered his strength and let himself go, not allowing the shadows of his past to interfere with the present here with his love. Instead he let his ears fill with the needy, hungry whimpers of his boyfriend. He felt a strength in himself he hadn't felt in ten years and with it he pushed himself to swallow as much as he could of his boyfriend's cock, the resulting noise bursting from Kurt's throat sounding more like an animal than it did like Kurt. 

Kurt was panting with need, this was the most amazing thing he had ever felt. It wasn't that Blaine had never given him a blow job, they had both done that, but the tension in the room was pulling him tight as a violin string and he was vibrating to Blaine's touch. It felt dangerous, threatening, and damned arousing. 

Blaine pulled back, not yet ready to end this. His lips and tongue were gently inviting, but no longer demanding as he caresses the cock in his mouth and hummed with pleasure as Kurt once more tried not to push his hips forward, chasing the deep pleasure of moments ago. Licking slowly, he pulled back and kissed Kurt's stomach, wanting him to calm down. Blaine moved between Kurt's legs, resting his elbows on either side as he took one leg and kissed his ankle then ran his tongue up the inside, stopping to kiss his thigh. Kurt squealed and Blaine kissed some more, rubbing the stubble of his beard on his face against the soft skin. Tendrils of excitement were snaking up his legs and he tried to look down at Blaine, but he had to close his eyes as Blaine's warm tongue slid over Kurt's balls, taking them one at a time into his mouth to fondle and stroke. Kurt was whining a high-pitched sound, his fists tightening as the beginnings of a climax went swirling down his spine and into his belly to heat and spread.

As Kurt lay there, too wired to even move, Blaine gently moved his legs to spread them and plant the soles of his feet on the mattress. He leaned back in, once more licking his way down the inner thighs and on to the bit of skin behind his balls, his hot breath tickling as he licked in large wet swaths across the skin. Kurt's throat made a new sound, almost like singing as the heat grew and his arousal threatened to take over his free will. Then Blaine licked across his very sensitive hole, forcing Kurt to jump and squirm to get closer. His eyes were screwed shut, hands twitching with the force of him tightening his fists. Blaine was almost as bad off, his head swirling as he drove his tongue deep into Kurt, his hands holding tightly to Kurt's hips, his fingers making small circles in the hot skin. With every whimper, every moan, Blaine licked slower, delved in deeper and his cock got harder and harder, and he knew he had to do something about it soon or die.

Blaine finally slowed down, afraid Kurt wouldn't be able to wait any longer, and reached to the pillow on the bed, searching under it to find the little tube. He discreetly put some in his hand, holding it there as he continued to touch Kurt, massaging his inner thigh. He could feel that Kurt was ready and he slid just one finger inside, the slickness making his motions fast and smooth. 

It was time to slow down, in spite of the way his heart was pounding and his desire winding through his body, threatening to take over any moment. It was a powerful feeling: Kurt making those sounds that sometimes sounded like pleading, sometimes like pleasure. He reached another finger inside, then found the right place and rubbed. His other hand found the space behind his balls and he knew he held Kurt's prostate between his fingers and very, very gently he began to massage. Just a tiny bit of pressure, round circling strokes and he looked in time to see the spark reach Kurt's eyes as he opened his mouth and shouted Blaine's name. 

“Blaine!” he shouted again, followed by a huge groan and he began to tremble. Blaine hoped he was ready because he could not wait another second. He pulled his hands back and froze for just a moment, wanting to ask even though he could tell Kurt wanted this as much as he did. His eyes locked with Kurt's and that would have been enough, but he heard Kurt speak in barely a whisper, his voice curling around Blaine's name as he said it like a prayer.

“Blaine, please, make love to me...” Kurt couldn't find his voice again, but it didn't matter. Blaine had heard him.

He spread Kurt's legs just a bit more, then lifted until Kurt understood to wrap his legs around Blaine. As gently as he could, Blaine pushed inside the velvety warmth of Kurt's body. Inch by careful inch he pressed, backing a little, then pushing again. Kurt's eyes never left his and it was as if Kurt was pulling him inside with a great strength and Blaine couldn't stop him if he wanted to. And he didn't want to stop. They had done this before, and it had been beautiful, but this time it was more. This time it was _everything_. The pull between them was like a physical law, like gravity. Unrelenting. Inevitable. Destiny calling them and they were hopeless to ignore it.

The gentle but insistent coaxing of Blaine's body calling to Kurt was like an intoxicating drug and Kurt let himself come completely under its spell. He had his eyes closed because it intensified all of his senses. He could smell Blaine's sweat and arousal and kept taking deep breaths to get more of it. The heat flowing off of Blaine's body was permeating Kurt's skin and spreading along his nerves and veins, filling him with the most wonderful warmth. 

Blaine's love making was kind and sweet and gentle at first, but it gained momentum as Kurt sighed and moaned with the friction and sparks that were igniting the passion that ran under his skin, under his muscles, close to the bone. He found himself thrusting back, pushing to get more of Blaine inside of him, thrusting so Blaine would reach into his soul and not just his body. Kurt's most passionate, heart-felt wish was to be what Blaine needed. If he achieved nothing else in his whole life, he would count it a perfect life if he could just be what Blaine _needed_. 

“Annngh” Blaine groaned, his climax closer and closer. “Kurt, come for me baby. Don't hold back, give it to me, please,” he pleaded, the words tumbling out without thought or reason, but they hit something in Kurt and could not have stopped his orgasm for love or money. He came so hard and for so long he thought he was dreaming. This just wasn't possible...

“Blaine! Oh, Blaine!” he shouted, his spasming body squeezing Blaine so tightly in waves of pleasure, bringing him to his climax. Blaine opened his eyes, looking into Kurt's eyes as the tingling warmth rushed through his belly and heated to scalding as it rushed into Kurt, pumping and throbbing while Blaine locked eyes with Kurt, never blinking but letting the love sink into him as it would. Kurt was still, looking at Blaine's damp cheeks and the tears caught in his thick eyelashes as he leaned closer to kiss Kurt.

“I love you, Kurt. I love you so very, very much....” he whispered, then laid his head down in exhaustion on Kurt's strong chest. Kurt's arms went around Blaine and he held him close, snuggling his nose into Blaine's neck and breathing in the scent of his best friend, his lover, his everything.

~*~

The night of making love seemed to be the breakthrough that Kurt had prayed for. While he couldn't say he was positive that Blaine was completely well, there were so many indications that he had finally overcome the fear of intimacy that had plagued his life for the past years. Kurt wasn't naïve enough to think everything was better with one night of love. He understood that it would take many more nights to establish Blaine's belief in himself, to reestablish his self confidence, but this was a good start. For the first time in years, Blaine felt confident that he and Kurt would last, that they could spend their lives together and be everything to each other.

 


	11. Twenty Years Old

Dance class had been brutal. Kurt felt like he'd dug a mile long ditch by hand with no shovel. Every muscle and bone in his body hurt.

 

“Hey, somebody looks tired. What's up, Kurt? You coming down with the flu?” Sebastian asked, sympathy well hidden for now. Instead he gave his roommate a big hearty clobber on the back, very brotherly.

“Yikes!” Kurt yelped, the pain of the playful smack reaching through his body to wring a second yelp. 

“Oh, Kurt, I'm sorry. Are you hurt? I didn't mean to actually...” Sebastian tripped over himself trying to apologize.

“Hey, no, I'm okay. Dance class. Cassandra July is the devil's disciple when it comes to putting the class through a workout. I wasn't feeling well anyway, but I couldn't let Rachel Berry out dance me, now could I?” Kurt whined.

“I shouldn't have hit you so hard. In the spirit of making it up to you, I'd be glad to go to bed with you,” Seb offered, a smirk on his face. “You won't have to move a muscle, I'll do all the work, sweetheart.” Seb answered with lowered voice as he batted his eyelashes and licked his lips in an exaggerated flirt.

“No. I thought you quit doing that a year ago, Sebbie. Knock it off,” Kurt admonished him, trying not to smile at the joke.

“Okay, but I was serious about helping out. If you want to go run a screaming hot bath, I could even rub your back for you – no funny business, I swear – and you could be sound asleep in an hour.”

“I might take you up on that, Seb. It sounds like just what the doctor ordered,” Kurt kissed Seb's cheek and turned to run a hot bath. He gathered his things: towel, shaving things, warm pajamas, and walked into the large room. It was very old fashioned with pink and aqua tiles on the floor and walls. It was art deco style and in spite of the pink and aqua color scheme it was lovely. Kurt set his things down and turned on the water, checking the temperature to be sure it was as hot as he could stand it. He peeled off his clothes, putting all but the silk vest into the hamper. He hung the vest up to take to the dry cleaners later in the week. He took his brush out of the drawer and brushed the product out of his hair. It made it easier to wash that way. Looking for his shaving supplies, he set them out on the counter beside the sink so he could shave after his shower.

Stepping into the shower, Kurt ducked his head under the cascade of water and groaned as the heat hit his skin. His head wet, he squeezed a bit of his shampoo into his hand and rubbed it through his hair, scrubbing it down to his scalp, then rinsing it and doing it again, this time leaving the soap in his hair to work for a few minutes while he soaped up his wash cloth. He opted to use Blaine's soap, the bright scent of mint and vanilla bursting into the air as he rubbed the wash cloth to get it saturated before lifting his left arm so he could scrub his armpit. A while later, after scrubbing his whole body, Kurt stood under the hot water, rinsing first his hair and then down the rest, rubbing the rough cloth probably a bit harder than was necessary to rinse off the soap. He stopped for a moment to take in the scent of Blaine that surrounded him now. They hadn't made love in almost a week. Kurt knew it was because of their busy schedules and Blaine was fighting a summer cold, but he missed it. They slept tangled together as always, but the quick kisses and touches under the covers late at night were just comforts, not what Kurt was really craving.

He heaved a sigh. It was Friday, so they had the weekend and could sleep in tomorrow morning. Maybe tonight. At the back of his mind, there was something – they had a plan for the weekend, but Kurt couldn't recall what it was right now.

Closing his eyes to just let the hot water run over his sore muscles, Kurt's hand went down his side, lightly running over his ribs. Back up to his collar bone and his hand went down his chest, flicking over his nipple and he gasped, not expecting his body to react so much to the small stimulus. He did it again, rubbing around in a circle before touching the center and letting out another sigh. His cock was reacting, too, and Kurt took another deep breath to let in the scent of Blaine. He closed his eyes once again and imagined his lover here in the shower with him. 

His hand went to his cock, just touching the shaft with his fingertips and skimming over the silky skin up and down before tightening his grip and stroking in the way Blaine did it. It felt so good. He took the bottle of Blaine's soap and squeezed a small amount on his hand, using it as lubricant so his hand would slide a little easier as he tried to go slowly, building up the climax a tiny bit at a time. 

He soaped up his other hand and slid it behind himself, reaching down the crack to circle his opening. He breached the rim, sliding his finger just inside and rubbing to loosen the tight muscle while still stroking his shaft, now flicking his thumb over the head the way Blaine would be doing if he was there. After a few moments he added a second finger and wished Blaine was here with him. While this felt good, he was well aware that after he came he would feel empty and lonely. Maybe he should quit while he was ahead and just turn off the water and dry off. He could take a nap before Blaine got home.

Yes, that's the best thing to do...in a minute. He stopped fingering himself, knowing that in this position he couldn't reach that place he needed. Only Blaine could do that. He moved his hand around to massage his balls gently as he pumped harder. He was almost there, so why quit now? He'd at least be able to fall asleep in the wake of his orgasm. No matter how sad it was that he was here alone resorting to shower masturbation. He was losing his erection just thinking about it.

“Is there room in there for me?” he heard from just outside the shower curtain. He hadn't heard anyone come in the bathroom and wasn't sure if he'd locked the door.

“What?” he said, incredulous, going soft as he wondered who had spoken. It might be Sebastian. The water was coming down hard and his head was under the shower, so he hadn't been able to hear clearly who had said those words.

“I said, is there room for me in there with you? I could use a shower...” Blaine's voice called out and Kurt moved the edge of the curtain back to see Blaine standing there, his golden skin and bright smile like a ray of sunshine straight from heaven.

Kurt wasted no time in talking, but put out a hand to pull him into the shower. Blaine grinned and stepped in next to Kurt, who was on his knees with Blaine's cock in his mouth before he could think.

“Oh, my god, Kurt, did you miss me or something?” Blaine sputtered as Kurt pulled him close, his hands digging into the muscles on his hips as he clutched his lover. Kurt was relentless, pushing hard to swallow as much as possible then letting Blaine pull back a bit before forcing his cock down his throat again. “Hey, hey...we have time, babe, slow down. I want to enjoy this.”

Kurt pulled back, getting to his feet but not letting go of Blaine. He stood in back of him, arms around his body and clutching Blaine tightly to his chest, Blaine's back warm and his buttocks the perfect place to rub his cock. Kurt ran his hands everywhere, then added his mouth as he kissed Blaine's neck and collarbone, his fingers skittering across Blaine's chest to tease his nipples. Blaine turned in his arms to face Kurt and grabbed his hair, bringing his mouth closer so Blaine could lick his way into the warmth of Kurt's sensuous mouth. They kissed for a while, their bodies touching, before Kurt realized he was feeling the water temperature getting a tiny bit cooler. He'd been in the shower a long time and the water tank wouldn't last forever.

He grabbed a clean wash cloth and soaped it up, cleaning Blaine's back and arms, down to gently caress his ass and letting the cloth slide to the bottom of the tub, he washed Blaine's balls and cock with his bare hands as his erection came back in all its glory to play with Blaine's. They rubbed them together, Kurt's hand stroking as best he could since his hand wouldn't reach around the two together.

Blaine added his own hand, and they stroked until both were there – and came together, groaning into each other's mouths and holding tight. After, Kurt rinsed them off and shut off the water before it got too cold. He reached for a towel and wrapped Blaine in it's fluffy warm folds, Kurt's arms around him for a moment before he was let loose to get out of the tub. Kurt got himself a towel and they dried off. Neither said a word. Blaine recognized Kurt's need and felt badly he hadn't made love to him all week. It was just that they had been so busy with school and obligations both of them so tired at the end of the day it was hard to keep their eyes open.

“I love you, Piglet,” Kurt said, going over to take Blaine in his arms once again, kissing him softly for a few seconds. Blaine licked Kurt's bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth. He bit gently before entering Kurt's mouth with his tongue and getting a moan from Kurt. He backed up, pulling away but going back for a small kiss to Kurt's cheek.

“I love you, too, Pooh Bear,” he said, snuggling his face into Kurt's neck for a moment. “Let's go get into bed for a while. I need to unwind before I think about making dinner.”

Kurt followed him into their bedroom and sat on the bed, shaving forgotten as he pulled on his briefs and got under the covers to wait for Blaine to join him.

Blaine was right there, sliding into the bed and pulling Kurt closer to him as they cuddled.

“Hey, did you take all the hot water again, Hummel?” Seb's voice was heard as he opened the door. No knock or anything, just barging in.

“Oh, hey, you waited for me!” Seb announced as he sat on the end of the bed and pulled off his t-shirt.

“No! Hey, Seb, you know better than that!” Kurt shouted and Seb laughed, pulling the shirt back on.

“Sorry, you're just way too much fun to tease, Kurt. Look, even Blaine is laughing at you,” Seb said, grinning as Blaine punched him softly in the shoulder. 

“What are you doing in my room, Smythe?” Kurt asked, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Sebastian got serious.

“Actually, I wondered if you'd feel better if I went with you tomorrow. I know it's going to be hard – for both of you – and I wanted to lend my support if you need me,” Sebastian said, putting a hand on Blaine's knee. Blaine gave him a look of thanks. Both Kurt and Blaine remembered what a wall of strength Sebastian had been in the wake of Blaine's rape. He hadn't judged, he just took care of them. Each day there had been food or flowers, a short visit to make sure Blaine was doing okay, stopping by after class to be there for Kurt to lean on, to walk Princess when Blaine couldn't seem to get himself out of bed. He had been the best friend he could be.

Kurt looked to Blaine, asking without words what he wanted.

“I'd like that, Sebbie. If you didn't have anything else planned...” Blaine blushed. He didn't want any more difficult times surrounding his weakness. He had come a long way since the incidents of his childhood: the molestation by Cooper's girlfriend, the attack at the school dance, the rape at Dalton. He felt almost free of the grief and desperation he'd carried for years, and along with the therapy he credited Kurt for bringing him through all of that in tact. But Sebastian had been a part of his recovery, too. He had selflessly helped in any way he was needed, even to letting Blaine and Kurt share his penthouse apartment while they were at school.

“Thank you, Seb, you know we appreciate it,” Kurt added. He got upset with Seb from time to time, tired of the sexual innuendos and jokes at Kurt's expense, but underneath Kurt knew it was a defense mechanism because Sebastian felt abandoned by his parents. It seemed everyone had issues.

“Well, if you won't let me under the covers, I'm going to go where I'm wanted,” Seb joked, getting up to leave. “Princess and I are going to eat some dinner. We'll see you two when you come up for air.” Seb winked and left the room.

“That was nice of him to go with us tomorrow,” Kurt said. Blaine nodded his head. He had been doing so well, and now it had been a hard decision to go see Trent. His therapist thought it was a good idea and Blaine was hoping for some closure.

 

~*~

 

It was almost noon when the three friends got out of the cab in Morningside, upper Manhattan, and walked into the modern apartment building across from Sakura Park. Trent Taylor's parents had an apartment here and Trent was staying with his mother after being declared safe to be among society again after three months in the Ohio State Mental hospital and then 18 months in Crested Mountain Mental Facility. He had written a letter of apology to Blaine when he was first in the hospital, and again when he was discharged.

Blaine's therapist agreed that Blaine could go to meet with Trent if he went with Kurt, so here they were.

“You okay?” Seb asked, taking Blaine's hand and giving it a squeeze for moral support.

“Yeah, I'm okay. I have to say I don't feel great, but I need to do this for closure in my own mind. I think I've come a long way, but this has held me back. Maybe. I'll know when I talk to him. Trent was our friend, I have to ask him why he did it,” Blaine said, then turned to Kurt and put his forehead on his friend's shoulder.

“You don't have to do this today if you don't want to, if you're not ready, Babe. Nobody will think less of you,” Kurt said in a soft voice. 

“Thank you, Kurt, but I want to get it done. Thank you for coming with me, Sebbie,” Blaine said, giving his two friends a small smile.

 

Kurt knocked on the apartment door.

“Hello, Blaine?” a small woman said when she opened the door, her eyes looking over the three boys in front of her.

“I'm Blaine, Mrs. Taylor. These are my friends, Kurt Hummel and Sebastian Smythe. We were all in the Warblers with Trent,” Blaine explained. 

Mrs. Taylor opened the door hesitantly.

“Please make yourselves at home. I'll go ask Trent if he wants to come out,” she said, looking doubtful. She returned in a few minutes, Trent walking behind her. He sat across from the three roommates, shy and not making eye contact.

“I thought you were coming alone, Blaine, but I'm glad to see you, too, Kurt and Sebastian,” Trent said. He turned to his mother. “Please, mom. I'm fine to talk to my friends. I'll call if I need you,” he said, giving his mother a reassuring smile.

She left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

“Blaine, thank you for coming to see me. I appreciate how hard it must be for you to be here. You said in your email that you had questions. What are they?” Trent asked. His big blue eyes looked at Blaine, not taking them off of his face. Trent's face looked sad, maybe a little afraid, but he stayed steady on the chair where he gripped the arms.

“Just one question, really. Why?” Blaine looked into Trent's eyes and found such sadness there. He blinked his own eyes a few times, trying to get hold of himself. Kurt saw this and put a hand to his back, rubbing light circles to give Blaine some comfort. Blaine's hand found Kurt's beside him and knit their fingers together. He sought Seb's hand, too and held it.

“I was lonely. It had been bad in elementary school, and I guess I might have been bullied, but I don't really remember it much. By middle school I knew I was different than most of my friends, I recognized that I was gay but was too afraid to tell anyone. I just distanced myself from all of them. I hid in the courtyard to eat lunch, I ran home after school so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. When I got to high school my parents were getting a divorce. Dad wanted to show off his money, so he paid my way to Dalton.

“I remember the year you two came to camp. I wanted to be your friend, and I was hiding from the other campers when I saw Blaine sneaking in the cabin. I followed him and listened to the two of you talking when you thought I was asleep. I wanted somebody to love me so much that they would risk everything, someone to do something so romantic like sneak aboard a bus to spend the summer with me. Blaine was always so nice to me, I daydreamed that he was my friend instead of yours, Kurt.”

“I _was_ your friend, Trent. We were all friends. You and everyone in our group, we were all friends,” Blaine said, not understanding.

“I wasn't special, and I wanted to be. I was never special to anyone,” Trent told them, tears threatening.

“I watched you and Kurt that summer and when I saw you were at Dalton, I watched you even more. I wanted to gather enough courage to ask you out. I didn't want to hurt Kurt, though, so I never did it. The day I saw you in the hallway, I don't know what was in my brain. It was like someone else had taken control. I only meant to ask you in to my room so I could tell Kurt you needed to have someone take care of you. I guess I imagined that if you and Kurt weren't together, I might have a chance to show you that you could be with me.”

Kurt sat with his mouth open for a moment, then consciously shut it. This was not the time to get upset, it was all water under the bridge. He would wait and see what else Trent had to say before he said anything. He glanced over at Seb, seeing that he was thinking similar thoughts. He moved his hand to pat Kurt's arm before taking Blaine's hand once again.

“Somehow in my mind, I started to think that Kurt wasn't taking proper care of you, that I would be much better at that. I know it was wrong, but at the time it made sense” Trent continued. “So that progressed into me thinking I was better for you, I had loved you longer or something. I don't remember much about the ...r...ra...the incident itself. Later the doctors determined that the drinks we had were laced with some kind of drug that made us kind of zone out. It was a mild hallucinogen.”

Blaine nodded. The police had tried to trace the origin of the bottle. Trent's roommate had brought it home from a frat party of brother's. They tried to find the source, but never did. Trent continued. “I was under the drug as much as you were, Blaine, but I want you to know that is not an excuse for what I did,” Trent said, his body now trembling.

Sebastian got up and walked across the space between them. He looked at Trent, nodding his head to the place beside him, asking to sit there. Trent smiled a little and nodded back. Seb sat on the arm of the overstuffed chair and placed his hand on Trent's back. He rubbed lightly the same way Kurt had done for Blaine.

“I know I can never give back what I took from you, Blaine, but I did want you to know how sorry I am. I do take full responsibility for what happened. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you? I know there probably isn't, but if...?” Trent was too overcome with emotion to say anything else. He was sitting with tears making their way slowly down his face. Seb took out his clean handkerchief to blot the tears away and gave Trent a hug.

“I don't condone what you did, Trent,” Blaine said, his voice a little gravelly. “But we were friends once and you did get help. I understand maybe a little bit what you are telling me, I've been lonely, too. It isn't a good place to be. You did the wrong thing, but you paid for it, so I'd like to call this all over. Is that okay, Trent? We might be friends one day. Not now, I still have things to work through, but I don't hate you,” Blaine offered, his voice shaky by the end of what he had to say. He turned and Kurt's arms were around him, bringing him in close so his cheek was lying on Kurt's shoulder. Blaine took a deep breath, taking in the scent of Kurt and burying his nose into Kurt's neck for a few heartbeats before sitting up once again.

“Thank you. I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Blaine. I know I did, and I hurt the people you love. Kurt, I also apologize to you especially. I want you to know one of the few things that gave me any comfort in the years in the mental hospital is that I knew you were standing by Blaine. I could see your strength, even back in summer camp. You're what he needs, Kurt. Stand by him,” Trent said in a soft voice, looking into Kurt's eyes for a brief second before closing his eyes once more. 

Sebastian patted Trent's shoulder, wishing he could do something to make him feel better. He was wrong in what he did, but he'd paid for it and he was sorry. 

“Trent, I think its okay if you call me. I don't mind talking to you. Maybe if we take this one step at a time we might be able to mend it,” Kurt told him. 

“I'd like that. I expected this to be the last time I saw any of you,” Trent told them.

“It doesn't need to be. We can take baby steps to see if we might be able to mend this, to mend ourselves over time. Just take care of yourself, and if you want to call, call Kurt or Seb. I don't think you should call me yet. Okay?” Blaine said, getting up to go. He walked over to where Trent was sitting, holding out his hand. Trent took it and they shook. Kurt followed Blaine's example and they walked to the door. Seb got up, Trent following suite, and turned to him. 

“Thank you, Seb, for coming along. Take care of them, okay?” he asked, nodding at Kurt and Blaine.

“I'm trying,” he grinned, giving Trent a gentle hug before following Kurt and Blaine down the hall to the front door. Kurt turned to see Mrs. Taylor with her arms around Trent before they left the apartment.

~*~

It was quiet in the taxi all the way home. The three young men got up to the apartment and sat down at the dining table. Kurt went to the kitchen to get lunch out of the refrigerator, but could carry on conversation through the open wall between the two rooms. 

“That was hard, wasn't it, Blaine?” Sebastian said. “I wish I could have been of more help...” he said, not knowing what to say to make it any better. Instead, he pulled his chair closer and held out his arms. 

Blaine fell into Seb's arms, and the taller man kissed the top of his head and held him tightly. His hands stroked down Blaine's back, and Seb hummed into his ear as Blaine struggled to get closer. Seb was warm and comforting. 

“Hey, you know I love you,” he said softly to Blaine and Blaine nodded his head, too emotional to speak. Kurt put a hand on Seb's back, mouthing the words “Thank you” to him as he wiped tears from his cheeks. 

Lunch on the table, Blaine sniffed and looked up at Kurt. He was suddenly aware that he had been in Seb's arms and he worried what Kurt might think, but Kurt was smiling at Seb and put a hand across the table to Blaine.

“You see, sweetheart, we all love you. Seb and I are not alone in the list of people that support you, you know. We're here for you no matter what you decide to do. Now, no more thinking about that, let's eat while the soup is hot, okay?” Kurt said. 

“This is delicious, Kurt, what is it?” Sebastain asked, dipping another mouthful. 

“Zuppa Toscana. Its a chicken based potato soup with kale and German sausage in it. Here, I made some garlic bread to have with it,” Kurt offered. Blaine smiled just a bit. Kurt knew this was high on his list of favorite soups, so he must have made it to make him feel better. Sebastain took another bite and hummed his pleasure.

  
“So, where do we go from here?” Blaine asked. He was feeling better after eating lunch and was sitting on the sofa between Kurt and Seb once again. His feet were in Seb's lap while he laid back on Kurt's chest, his ass wedged between Kurt's legs. 

“I guess play it by ear. If Trent calls one of us, we'll let you know and if you want contact with him, then we'll arrange it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do here, Blaine. We support you no matter what,” Kurt soothed. His eyes found Seb's and they made a silent agreement. 

“Okay. For now, I don't want to see him alone, but if one of you were with me - -and it was in his mother's apartment, maybe. I want to hate him, I do. But I can't remember the actual act...so its hard to be as angry at Trent as I think I should be. We were friends for so many years, it makes as little sense today as it did the day it happened. Trent of all people is the very last one I'd suspect of being a rapist,” Blaine sighed. The last word barely said, it was still so hard to even comprehend. 

“Blaine, it makes no sense to me, either. He was always so gentle, such a quiet person. I see now how troubled he was, but its a tragedy that no one saw it before he lost his sense of propriety. I've been lonely – in France when my parents pretended that my being gay was okay, they had basically stopped talking to me. I was still having trouble with the language, I could speak a little, but I couldn't understand because everyone seemed to speak so quickly. I wasn't part of any crowd -I dressed wrong, I listened to the wrong music, and I didn't return the flirting lavished upon me by so many girls. When I finally made them realize I was gay, it was like the final nails in my coffin. It wasn't until I moved in with Auntie Pauline that I could take a deep breath and know I was going to be okay,” Seb related. He didn't look like he was going to cry, but his face was flushed and he was speaking very softly. He didn't make eye contact with either of his roommates. 

“I would hope I'd never do what Trent did, but we never know what our boundaries are, do we? Not until we're pushed too far. I don't want to be disrespectful to you, Blaine, but I think Trent needs a friend right now. I'm asking you if you would be okay with me maybe going to visit him? Not anything more than that, but just so he knows somebody cares,” Sebastian looked over at Blaine, his eyes pleading for understanding.

Blaine took a deep breath and felt Kurt's arms tighten around him.

“I think that's is the nicest thing I've ever heard anybody say, Sebbie. No, I don't mind. I can't do it myself, but I'm glad you will be there for him,” Blaine said, then turned to bury his face in Kurt's loving arms once again. 

Seb looked at Kurt, wanting his permission, too. He felt an obligation to both of his roommates and he wouldn't go if Kurt protested. 

“I agree with Blaine. Be safe, Seb. Don't let him hurt your heart. If you need me, I'm here for you,” Kurt said. He smiled a Seb and added, “You're a better man than me.”

Seb shook his head, but smiled at Kurt as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Good night, Kurt. Good night, Blaine. I'll see you in the morning,” he said and went to his room.

 

~*~

“Hey, Princess, slow down girl! Running is not on your list of exercises,” Blaine scolded as he walked quickly beside his dog in the park. Princess' foot was healed, but she was supposed to be getting back into her duties by increments. The little setter slowed down and walked next to her master, the love shining in her eyes as she leaned against him when they stopped. 

“Okay, girl. Let's start back. Daddy Kurt will be waiting for us. We need to have you all ready to go. So far we're right on time,” Blaine said as he walked quickly back across the park to their apartment.

 

“Well, right on time!” Kurt greeted them. “I have everything ready to go and I already called the taxi. We'll be at the airport and ready to go inside of an hour,” he grinned. Over the last year of living in New York, the men hadn't been home to Ohio once. They spent Thanksgiving and Christmas in the Big Apple, so when spring break was on the horizon, they jumped at the offer from Sebastian to go home. He called it a late Christmas present.

~*~

 

“I think my dad should be here – or maybe he sent Finn?” Kurt questioned. He was standing by the pick-up area just outside, holding Blaine's hand and watching over their luggage. He didn't see his dad's old beat-up garage truck in the long line of vehicles waiting to pick up loved ones. Just as he turned to ask Blaine a question, Blaine's eyes grew into two huge dinner plates. His hand gripped Kurt's arm tightly.

“Kurt, I don't think your dad is coming,” he managed to say. Kurt turned back in time to see a black Lexus pull up to the curb and a man get out. His hair was slicked down with product to tame his wavy black curls and his muddy amber eyes were searching the long lines of people waiting. 

“Your dad came?” Kurt said, instantly sorry it sounded so incredulous. 

“Looks like...whoa, how did he know we were coming today?” Blaine looked at Kurt, but got no response. 

Palmer Anderson parked his car and got out as soon as he saw his son. He walked quickly over and tentatively put his arms around Blaine. Blaine closed his eyes and hugged back, the look on his face making Kurt pray that this was what it looked like – that Mr. Anderson was happy to see his youngest boy.

“Kurt, its good to see you, too. And Queenie,” he said, bending over to run his hand over her head and rub behind her ear. Kurt gave Blaine a look when he heard what Blaine's dad called the dog and Blaine bit his lip so he wouldn't laugh.

“Its Princess, Dad. Princess. At least you were close,” Blaine laughed and Mr. Anderson blushed. 

“Let's get you guys loaded and on our way home. Here, I'll get the two larger suitcases. Is Princess okay in the back seat, Blaine? I put an old blanket back there for her to lie down on,” he said anxiously. Blaine was a little shocked that his dad would let a dog sit on his Italian leather tuck-and-roll custom upholstery. Kurt helped him heft the heavy suitcases into the trunk and went back for the carry-ons. 

Blaine was in the back seat with Princess, so Kurt took a seat next to Mr. Anderson in the front. Palmer was smiling, turning his head to look in the mirror at his son and the dog. He turned on the radio, asking Kurt to find a suitable station. Kurt found a classical music show and it served as a calming influence over the nerves of everyone in the car.

“So, Dad, how did you come to be the one to pick us up? I didn't even know you were in town,” Blaine said, trying to keep the conversation neutral.

“I got a call last night from Carole Hummel. She was calling from the hospital and asked if I could come to the airport and bring the two of you home. Simple as that,” Mr. Anderson said, but both boys could tell there was something else going on.

“Why didn't my dad come? I thought it was all settled. Wait...from the hospital? Was Carole called in to work?” Kurt asked, confused. He'd spoken to her yesterday afternoon and she mentioned she was off for three days.

“No, she wasn't. Kurt, I wanted to wait until you were home, but I can tell you know,” Palmer started to say, but Kurt interrupted him.

“WHAT? Did my dad have another heart attack? Can you take me to him first, please...” Kurt's voice almost a shriek at first, but dying out to a soft whisper before he finished. Blaine had unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned forward to hold on to Kurt's hand, his arm wrapped around what he could reach of his shoulder.

“No, no..Kurt, calm down. He's okay, no heart attack or anything. Here, let me pull over,” he said, pulling to the shoulder of the road and putting his car in park. He turned to look at Kurt.

“I just can't get anything right with you two, ever. I'm sorry,” he said under his breath. 

“Burt had an accident at the garage. He was lowering a car from the lift and the hydraulics went out. One of the workers was under the car and your dad jumped forward, knocking the man out from under the car and saving his life, but the car fell on your dad and he has a broken leg. He is otherwise fine. He didn't want to tell you over the phone last night, so they called me.”

“Oh, my god...how is he? Is he going to be able to walk? Does he need Carole to help him so she couldn't get us?” Kurt was verging on hysteria again, so Blaine got out of his side and opened Kurt's door, scooting in out of the chilly weather and wrapping Kurt in his arms.

“Calm down, Babe. Dad said he was okay. Let's just get settled and get home to see him. That's where we're headed, right?” Kurt asked.

“No. Now, you have to stay calm, Kurt, and I will tell you everything,” Palmer said.

The look on Kurt's face was shocked. He had just figured out who the worker most likely was. 

“Finn. That's why he didn't come to the airport. He was one one under the car, wasn't he?” Kurt said in a blank, monotone voice.

“Yes, he was. Now listen to me. Listen to what I'm telling you,” Palmer said again and looked to Blaine for support. Blaine took Kurt's chin in his hand and had him face his father.

“Kurt, he's okay. Both your father and your brother are okay. I think they should tell you the details, but I will tell you the basics. When Burt saw the lift was failing, he yelled and ran to the car because he saw another worker underneath. He was in the office and Finn was on the other side and did the exact same thing. They got the man – I think his name was Noah? - out and all he had was a broken hand. Finn went all the way under the car as it fell, but Burt was already almost there, so he was able to shift a little and he pushed Finn out from under with his legs. A part of the car landed on your dad's thigh and broke his femur. It was a clean break.

“Finn wasn't as lucky, he was hit in the head and has a concussion. The car landed on his upper arm. It tore the muscles that hold your shoulder together and dislocated the shoulder, breaking his scapula. He is going to be okay. I'm taking you straight there. I already checked and they told me Blaine can bring Princess so we won't have to leave her in the car. Now, Blaine, get Kurt into the back seat with you and I'll get to the hospital as soon as I can,” Palmer said, hoping he hadn't messed this up, too. In his mind, he thought it would be better for Kurt to know before he got there, so he would not be so shocked when he saw them. 

 

It was almost impossible for Kurt to walk down the corridor to the room where his family was currently staying. He wanted to run, but with all the nurses in the hallway, he knew this was actually faster. Blaine, Palmer, and Princess were behind him, but he wasn't going to wait. He burst into the room, his eyes searching for his dad.

“Kurt,” he heard and ran to the bed, his arms around his father in just a split second, he was dissolved in tears. 

“Hey, kiddo, hey,” Burt tried to comfort him, hugging back and patting his shoulder. “Hey, Kurt, I'm okay. Really, really okay. Calm down, son,” he said. 

Kurt sniffed and finally sat up, not letting go of his father's hand. He leaned forward and stroked his father's face, as if he couldn't believe it was real. After a few more moments of this, he looked around to see Finn, but the other bed was empty. He frowned, the volunteer at the front desk told him his dad and brother were sharing a room.

“Finn is in surgery, Kurt. Carole is waiting down there for him to get out of recovery. The docs had to put a pin in the humerous – that bone in his upper arm. He's going to be okay as long as he takes it easy and doesn't go back to work too soon. He probably won't be playing football any more, though.” Burt told his son, looking out the window for a moment. He sighed and put his head back against the pillow.

Blaine took this chance to walk over to Burt and give him a hug, very gently.

“Thank god you're okay, Papa,” he said. Blaine didn't often call Burt by that nickname, but with his emotions running so hot at the moment, it slipped out. He decided to pretend it didn't happen and just not look at his own father for a moment. He really didn't mean to hurt him by calling someone else that, but what did he expect? 

“I'm going to walk down to the surgery waiting room, just to check on Carole. Dad, do you want to come with me?” Blaine asked. His father put a hesitant arm around his son's shoulder and walked beside him. Blaine leaned his head in his dad's shoulder for a brief moment and they were gone around the corner.

“Okay, Dad. Tell me what happened. Why would you risk your life like that? Couldn't you have...I don't know, used something else to get them out?” Kurt asked, not sure what to ask and making almost no sense when he did.

“Kurt, calm down. Its all over now. It was an accident. I had that lift inspected less than two months ago. I don't know why it failed, the insurance guys are inspecting it along with OSHA. I closed the garage until we find out how it happened. The insurance will pay all the salaries and hospital bills until this gets figured out. In the mean time, it is good to see you, kiddo. You have no idea how I've missed you,” Burt said, smiling at his son. He was so proud of Kurt and of everything he had accomplished. It would be nice to have him home, but Burt knew Lima was never going to be big enough for Kurt. He decided to enjoy every minute for as long as he was here.

“Okay, Dad. How long are you going to be in here?” he asked.

“I can go home this afternoon. They let me stay because Finn was here, too. He should be out of recovery in a little while. He's kind of messed up, Kurt. He may need you to be strong for him. He's going to miss playing football,” Burt said, still holding his hand. “I know you'll be strong for him.”

Blaine walked back into the room with his father. 

“Finn is in recovery. They let me go see him. He's still groggy, but he knew me and asked for you, Kurt. Can you come now?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah, I'll come with you. Mr. Anderson, can you hold Princess? She probably shouldn't be in the recovery room,” Kurt asked, handing the leash to Blaine's dad. He left with Blaine.

“How are you feeling, Burt?” Palmer asked, nodding at Burt's leg.

“It hurts a little. They put a pin in it, but the doc said I'll be up on crutches inside a week. He said I was pretty healthy for an old man,” Burt laughed. 

“The boys are looking good, don't you think?” 

“Yeah, they don't seem like boys so much as men now. Its funny how empty the house seems with them gone,” Burt sighed. “But they are doing so well in New York. I know we'll see them once in a while: at Thanksgiving and Christmas, maybe in the summers. They grow up and leave, and mostly what they leave is a warm place in our hearts when we think about them,” Burt lamented. 

Palmer smiled a sad smile at Burt.

“I wish I had more memories of Blaine and Cooper. It seemed like our lives were so busy, just trying to keep the company running, the wold from the door. I neglected Cooper, but if Blaine hadn't had you, Burt, he wouldn't have had a dad at all. I never told you how much I appreciated what you did for him. I owe you a debt of gratitude, and I have no idea how to pay for it.”

“Palmer, you don't owe me a thing. I love Blaine like he was my own. If he succeeds in being happy in his life, I'd say we were even on that score, wouldn't you?” Burt asked.

 

~*~

“Kurt! That's no fair. I can't use my right hand, neither can you,” Finn complained.

“I'm not using my right hand, dear brother, and I still whupped you,” Kurt said, laughing at his big brother.

“You know what I mean. Your left hand. Its not fair unless you only use your right since you're left handed,” Finn said, turning to Blaine to referee. 

“Sorry, my love, but your brother is right. You can only use your right hand if you're going to play video games. Its only fair,” Blaine said in his adult-to-small-child tone. 

Kurt rolled his eyes.

“That is going to cost you, Anderson. You should have backed me up,” Kurt warned.

“Hey, you mean no kisses tonight? That's not fair at all,” Blaine pouted.

“I meant no dessert. I made peach cobbler. I was just going down to whip the fresh cream to put on top,” Kurt said, looking triumphant.

“That's just for him, right, Kurt?I get some. I'm injured!” Finn whined.

“Nope. I guess I'll just have to eat it by myself. Well, Carole can have some. And Dad, but no cream for him. I guess I'll have to give the rest to Puck,” Kurt said, getting up and walking to the door.

Blaine followed him. He pulled him back into the bedroom and kissed him thoroughly.

“Can I have some now?” Blaine said in his very best seduction voice. He added a little kitten lick to Kurt's neck just below his ear.

“I'm sure we can negotiate something,” Kurt replied, taking Blaine's hand and leading him down the stairs. 

“Hey, where does that leave me?” Finn asked.

“With those two busy, we can probably eat the whole cobbler before they notice,” a voice said from the hallway.

“What?” Finn asked and Puck came around the corner to see his friend.

“Oh, hey Puck. How's the hand?” Finn asked. It had been two weeks since the accident and Noah was finally feeling up to coming to see Finn. He still wasn't allowed to drive, but his girlfriend, Lauren, was happy to play chauffeur. 

They walked down to the dining room and sat down at the table, Carole serving them a bowl of peach cobbler. She had placed a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of the warm cobbler.

Finn turned to Puck when his mother had left to take a dish to Burt on the patio.

“What happened to the whipped cream?” 

“What do you think? Do you see Kurt and Blane sitting here?” Puck laughed. He gave Finn a sexy wink and nodded towards the stairs to the basement. 

Finn laughed, too, and ate his cobbler. He liked ice cream better anyway.

 

~*~

“What are you planning to do with that whipped cream, Kurt? I don't see any cobbler,” Blaine observed. Kurt smirked. 

“Then I suppose I'll have to find something else to smear it all over, won't I?” Kurt giggled, going over to Blaine and starting to unbutton his shirt. “Is this okay, my love?” he whispered, kissing the bit of skin exposed by the two undone buttons.

“Yes, Babe, it is. Always. With you, its always good,” Blaine whispered back, reaching over to unbutton Kurt's shirt, too. It wasn't long before they were both undressed and sitting on a sheet stretched over the bedcovers. 

Blaine took a dollop of whipped cream and stuck his tongue in it, smacking his lips before smearing it on Kurt's lips. Kurt smiled and licked a bit of the cream before he stalked down the bed after Blaine who was scooting back to lean against the pillows at the head of the bed. Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine – smearing his lips over Blaine's lips sensually and slowly. Blaine took some more cream on his finger and wiped it around the pale skin on Kurt's neck, his tongue following it to the place behind his lover's ear that made him shiver when Blaine touched it. After so many years together, there weren't many things that the two didn't know about each other.

Kurt dipped his fingers into the bowl of whipped cream, smearing a bit on Blaine's wrist before licking slowly, his tongue warm against the tender skin. He could feel Blaine's heart beating through the veins that ran under the golden skin and Kurt imagined his lover's heart beating faster as he ran his tongue up the inside of Blaine's arm. He placed more whipped cream on the collarbone, moving his lips as he went back to get another shiver out of Blaine by kissing his neck.

Blaine adjusted his body, unable to sit still as Kurt spread whipped cream in all of his secret places. 

“Kurt, here...” Blaine said, putting a dollop of cream on his nipples and Kurt smiled. He knew how much Blaine loved for him to lick and suck his nipples when they made love. Kurt sometimes thought he could make Blaine come just from that, and that thought went straight to his cock, making it so hard he was almost aching. He put his hand down to stroke himself, just a bit to relieve enough pressure to be able to hold on. He wanted to make love to Blaine, not just fuck him.

Blaine was laid back on the pillows, his feet planted on the mattress so he could push down to relieve his nerves. He was enjoying this so much, but he wanted to take some control. He trusted Kurt with everything: his body, his emotions, his very life, but it was still a struggle to let Kurt take control. Blaine closed his eyes and worked at relaxing as Kurt spread the whipped cream down his chest and belly. He knew Kurt was working towards his cock and it was tearing him up to try to stay relaxed when he knew Kurt had all the power.

Kurt was licking along Blaine's belly, making him shiver once more at the feeling. He looked up, checking to see if Blaine was doing okay with this. Some days they had to stop here when the PTSD was winning and Kurt was very sensitive of Blaine's moods. He saw Blaine's hand gripping and ungripping the sheet, curling his toes and flexing his ankles. It might be anticipation of more erotic licking – but, no. Kurt sensed that it was anxiety and he backed off, presumably to catch his breath and get more whipping cream but it was actually to let Blaine come to terms with himself.

Kurt took a dollop of cream and spread it on his shaft, moaning loudly as he lay back next to Blaine. He had learned that if he switched places and played the more submissive role, Blaine was more comfortable. While he was sure that Blaine understood this, they never spoke about it. Blaine let his breath go, hardly realizing he'd been holding it. He struggled for a second to get up from his position and laid down on his belly between Kurt's legs. Humming with anticipation, he put out his tongue and touched the tip of Kurt's cock, the feeling of electricity sparking down his body and making him tingle with excitement. Licking down the shaft and then back up, he drew moans from Kurt's throat that circulated in Blaine's veins to spread the heat of his arousal.

“Blaine, that's so good, you make me feel so good, oh..do it again, love, take me into your mouth now,” Kurt moaned. His words wrapped themselves around Blaine's heart and he took as much of Kurt into his mouth as he could, sucking hard. Kurt loved it when he sucked hard so Blaine did it for a long time, moving his tongue in swirls under the ridge and across the slit, his saliva keeping it slick. He loved to do this, Kurt was so unique in that he was the only boy Blaine had ever met that was uncircumcised. With less outside stimulation on an every day basis, Blaine was sure he felt more when he gave him a blow job than he did. 

He had put this theory out to Kurt one day and they had felt obligated to conduct experiments for hours that day. Blaine smiled to himself thinking about it, then swirled his tongue again.

“Oh, Blaine...stop, love, I don't want to come and if you...oh...” Kurt murmured, his voice high and excited. Blaine stopped, withdrawing his mouth and leaving a kiss on the tip before he took more of the cream to spread back along Kurt's scrotum and just tickling his rim. Kurt jumped. He was so sensitive right there and Blaine took great care to slide his finger around in circles as he took his lover's left ball into his mouth. 

“Oh, Blaine, baby....baby...” Kurt said, not even realizing he was speaking. Blaine was getting so worked up, he wasn't sure how long he could do this and not just climax from the sounds.

“Kurt, do you want more?” Blaine teased and Kurt moaned, his legs spreading wider as he anticipated Blaine's next move. “Mmmmm...” Blaine hummed, creating a delicious vibration as he kissed Kurt's cheek before holding them open and licking into Kurt's most secret flesh. 

Kurt was coming apart and all he could think about was having Blaine inside himself.

He took the lubricant and spread it on his own fingers, and when Blaine moved back to get a breath, he pushed his index finger inside, slicking his way in to tease the muscle into relaxing. Blaine had never seen Kurt so horny. He knew Kurt had fingered himself before, he had told Blaine about it, but to see him do it was....like nothing he had ever imagined. He couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt's fingers, sliding in and out, adding another and another as he worked himself open for his lover to enter.

“Oh, god, Blaine....I need you now, baby...now, please,” Kurt moaned. His hips flexing as he tried to hold still. Blaine couldn't move fast enough and just as he was going to enter, a thought crossed his mind.

“Kurt, can we...can you, ah, turn over? Get on your hands and knees for me, love,” Blaine said in a low and sensual voice. 

Kurt complied, trembling with his need for Blaine to enter him. He rested his head and shoulders on the pillow, his ass in the air as Blaine moved in back of him, his thighs feeling the warmth of his lover's thighs, then....Blaine was inside, slipping in as slowly as he could to minimize any burning. Kurt didn't care at this point, he just wanted Blaine.

“Oh, push harder, fill me...” Kurt murmured, his voice low and the moan he made was close to a growl. Blaine had never heard this from Kurt and it filled his body with such warmth, with such desire to fulfill Kurt's wishes. He pulled out almost all the way, then pushed in slowly again, only to pick up speed as he continued to push and pull. He leaned over Kurt's back, his belly touching Kurt's perfect ass and making his press back against him. 

Blaine reached around and took hold of Kurt's cock, still damp from being in his mouth. He had added some lube and began to stroke in strong, firm strokes, Kurt surprised but thrilled to have this new sensation. He was quietly losing any control and Blaine was relishing his own ability to lead. He felt that he was the one to give Kurt what he wanted, to bring pleasure to this man who had chosen him of all the beautiful men they had met over the years: Kurt had always chosen him. 

The friction, Kurt's moans, and Blaine's emotions combined to draw Blaine closer and closer to the end. He wanted to make sure Kurt had what he needed, but eventually everything left his head but his coming orgasm, already gathering like a storm in his belly. Blaine closed his eyes and felt Kurt stiffen, then push forward to force Blaine's hand to grip tighter and back to shove his cock farther inside and Kurt came, his voice high as his body gave in to the spasms, his semen spilling out across the sheets. Blaine couldn't experience that and not be moved, he gasped and the heat exploded in his own body, pumping Kurt full of his semen as Kurt took in breath after steamy breath to try and stay calm. 

“Blaine, you are so good.....you are so the perfect lover, and you're all mine,” Kurt mumbled as he lay down on the bed. Blaine started to move away, but Kurt's arms found him and dragged him closer in spite of the warm puddles of seed on the sheets.

“Kurt....” was all Blaine's addled brain could think to say, but it was enough. He closed his eyes and thanked the fates or the gods or whomever was in charge for the chance to love a man like Kurt Hummel. 

Kurt turned halfway around to put his arms around Blaine and buried his face in Blaine's neck, kissing him until his heart calmed enough for him to speak.

“I love you, Blaine, with all my heart and all my life. Its you. Its always been you since we were eight years old, I've never wanted anyone else. Just you.”

Blaine lifted Kurt's face so he could see his eyes and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“I love you, too, Pooh-bear. Always.”


	12. Twenty-One Years Old

“Order whatever you want, kiddo. I'm serious,” Burt said, his hand laid gently on his son's shoulder as they sat at the bar.

  


“I don't know...a Tequila Sunrise? Amaretto Sour? I don't know what would taste good. Something sweet, I'm sure of that much,” Kurt said to the bartender.

  


“How about a cassis and cream?” the woman asked, smiling at Kurt. He had just turned twenty-one and his dad was taking him out for his first drink. Well, the first one Burt knew about, anyway.

  


“Can I have...” Blaine started but got cut off by Burt.

  


“...a Virgin Mary or a Shirley Temple,” Burt finished for him.

  


“Actually, just a club soda with cranberry and a twist of lime. Thank you,” he said softly, his eyes avoiding Burt and looking at the bartender.

  


“I'll try the Cassis and cream then,” Kurt agreed, finally making up his mind. “Ah...what is that?”

  


“Creme de Cassis is a liquor made from black currents,” she told him. 

  


Blaine touched Kurt's arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

  


“Order a Frangelico and cream,” he enthused.

  


“Oh, that's what I want! I love hazelnut,” Kurt grinned, sneaking his hand over to lace his fingers in Blaine's hand. It was funny, Blaine was much shorter than Kurt but their hands were about the same size. Kurt smiled to himself. Those old wives' tales sometimes had their origin in fact. He was thinking dreamily of certain portions of Blaine's anatomy that showed that cliché to be true....

  


“Kurt!” Burt said sharply. “Where did you go? Thinking about all the things you have to look forward to now you're of legal age?”

  


“Besides drinking, what are you thinking about?” Kurt asked his dad.

  


“Oh, a mortgage, taxes, just little things like that,” Burt grinned, bumping his son's shoulder before turning to the bartender to ask for a beer on tap.

  


“Dad, you know better than that,” Kurt admonished, giving his father a disapproving look.

  


“Hey, I want to celebrate! This is the only time you're going to turn twenty-one and it deserves the right celebration!”

  


“He'll have a Bud Light then,” Kurt said to the bartender. She looked over at Burt and he nodded. At least it was alcohol. 

  


“So, how are we going to celebrate? The drink and then..?” Burt asked, grinning at Kurt.

  


“Dancing?” Kurt suggested.

  


Blaine got up and took Kurt's hand.

  


“May I have this dance?” he asked very formally and when Kurt nodded, he led him to the dance floor. They started by moving together to the beat, Blaine's hands on Kurt's waist and Kurt's on Blaine's shoulders, but after that it got better. Kurt forgot his father was watching and was so close to Blaine's body, caressing his back and nestling his face into Blaine's neck as they moved in rhythm across the dance floor. It was hard for Burt to follow them, so many people dancing: young, old, straight, gay – a rainbow of couples all dancing and losing their inhibitions to the music pounding in their ears, vibrating in their bodies. Kurt was practically pasted to Blaine's body, sliding his legs close and turning Blaine in his arms they danced with Blaine's back to Kurt, his ass cupped in Kurt's lap -except they were standing up.

  


After the first song, the couple came back and Kurt drank his second Frangelico and cream, smiling at his father. Burt smiled back, wondering if he should leave so the two of them could dance some more. Burt could see Blaine trying to discreetly adjust his trousers to hide his excited state. Kurt came to his rescue, sliding a bit in front of him so Blaine's crotch was out of Burt's view. Burt rolled his eyes inside, thinking of the thousand other times Blaine had been in just this predicament. The man had no control over his body sometimes and tented jeans were common place. Well, to be fair, Kurt had the same issue. Burt smiled thinking about the loose-fitting pants of his generation that hid a multitude of ah...things. 

  


Burt kept his eyes above the bar, just chatting about the dinner that night and Kurt leaned in to hear better.

  


“Oh, I'm sorry, Dad...Blaine has already invited me out but we could do it tomorrow. Our flight doesn't take off until eight tomorrow night. Would that be okay?” Kurt looked genuinely sorry.

  


“No problem, it was last minute anyway. Say, I'm going to get on home. I just wanted to be the one to buy you your first legal drink, kid. Happy Birthday. I'll leave the porch light on for you. Princess is fine, she can sleep in our room until you get home,” Burt said this last comment to Blaine who smiled at him. 

  


“Goodnight, Papa Burt,” Blaine said, hugging Burt tightly for a second, leaning forward so as not to brush against him except for his arms. Burt hugged him back, a smirk on his face.

  


“Goodnight, Son, I'll see you and Kurt in the morning,” Burt replied, hugging Kurt next and walking quickly through the crowd as he exited the bar, hiding his disappointment as well as he could.

  


 

  


“Shall we get back to dancing?” Blaine asked, then saw a tear in Kurt's eye. “Hey, what's this about?”

  


“I know he won't be around forever. And I want him to be,” Kurt said, looking at the window. Kurt and Blaine watched as Burt wiped his eye, walking to his truck.

  


“Oh, Kurt....let's not go to dinner. Let's go home and have a family dinner with Burt and Carole and Finn. Okay? I think you'd like that much better than being with a bunch of strangers,” Blaine suggested.

  


“You wouldn't mind?” Kurt asked, his eyes sparkling.

  


“Of course not. They're my family, too. Let's hurry before he takes off....we can ride back with him instead of catching a cab,” Blaine said, grabbing Kurt's hand and running for the door.

  


 

  


“Dad! Wait!” Kurt and Blaine called as they left the bar. Burt turned his head, fingers on the door handle as he got ready to get into his truck.

  


“Hey, what did you forget?” Burt asked, hoping they couldn't see that he had shed a few tears.

  


“Nothing. We would rather just go and have dinner with the family, if that's still okay?” Kurt asked. Burt didn't trust himself to say anything, just nodded and stepped back to allow Kurt to enter first. Blaine went in next to sit in the middle and they made their way back home, laughing about the way Kurt appeared to be dizzy from his first drink.

  


“Okay, kid, now...how many drinks have you really had?...because I'm pretty sure that wasn't your first drink,” Burt grinned at his son. Blaine looked straight ahead, trying – and failing – not to break his sober face, but the grin made its way to his mouth and soon they were all laughing and Kurt elbowed his boyfriend in his stomach when Burt wasn't looking.

  


“Maybe once or twice, at a party in New York,” Kurt said. “But honestly, Dad, Blaine and I were the designated drivers for our friends. We really don't drink much.”

  


“Good. Not a good habit to get into,” Burt said in his dad voice. He knew it was too far past the time he could tell the boys what to do. They were men now, living in New York without him and he had to trust them to do the right thing. He smiled a sad smile, it was good they were growing up, but he knew it would never be the same as when they were kids. He hoped in his heart that he had done right by them. Both of them because Blaine was as much his son as Kurt in his heart. 

  


“Carole made a great dinner, I hope you are in the mood for lasagna?” Burt asked, knowing it was both Kurt and Blaine's favorite meal.

  


 

  


~*~

  


**Four months later**

  


 

  


Blaine was sitting in his room. Scratch that – he was sitting in _their_ room, but Kurt was gone. Carole had been taken to the hospital late one night when she fell. Her symptoms were strange: blurred vision leading to blindness in her right eye, an intense tingling in her hands, a funny electric shock sensation when she moved her head and she seemed unable to walk on her left foot. Burt had called the next morning and Kurt was gone by noon, hurrying home to console his father and help him get through whatever this was.

  


It hit Blaine hard. He had never had a warm mother until Carole had walked over to him the first day he knew her – and she hugged him like he was her long lost son. He was in love with her from then on. Carole was the kind of person that you didn't notice in a flamboyant way, she didn't call attention to herself or try to make you like her, no. She was just there, quietly loving you from the first moment, doing things that you didn't even know you needed until she'd already taken care of it. She listened. She never interrupted you, just waited until you had dumped your whole heart out to her, then she calmly helped you find your way back to yourself.

  


Blaine knew she could never take Elizabeth's place in Kurt or Burt's hearts, but she didn't need or want to do that. She made her own place in all of their hearts. Kurt would be devastated if something happened to Carole, and Blaine wanted to go home with him to take care of Kurt, to help in some way.

  


He sat on the bed, trying not to cry, hugging Princess. He knew he was part of the family, but in this case he had a test and a recital coming up the next week and it would be too detrimental on his grades to skip out on either of those. College was important and he needed to get through this. He knew it was the right decision, but then why did it feel so wrong? If it was serious, he could maybe come to Lima next weekend. In the mean time, it would be hard to be by himself, no matter how many times he told himself that he was a grown man and he could spend some time alone. 

  


Even Sebastian had been gone – home to Ohio to visit his Aunt Pauline for a week. It was just too quiet in the apartment. He walked over to the stereo. Funny, he thought, how Kurt was so tuned in to the cutting edge of technology: always having to have the latest incarnation of a cell phone with all the bells and whistles, the GPS he'd begged for for his birthday, even though they lived in New York and went everywhere on the subway. But when it came to his music, he had a stereo that played vinyl, cassettes, and CDs. Blaine took a record from the shelf and took it out of the sleeve, very carefully setting it on the turntable and then he set the needle down lightly. The notes of “Let It Be” came out of the speakers and curled around him like his lover's arms.

  


 

  


_Blaine grinned, thinking of the day he found a small store in Greenwich owned by a little old man that still sold vinyl records. It was an old second hand shop selling things like lava lamps and beaded curtains. Behind the counter the man sat in a chair and his goat...Blaine had to look twice to be sure his eyes were not playing tricks on him...his GOAT was standing there eating pieces of caramel the man was feeding her._

  


_Blaine had called Kurt and met him for lunch at a nearby cafe, then strolled over to the store as if he were just browsing. He stationed himself at a counter so he could see Kurt's face when he came across the bins of old records. The sheer joy and awe in his face was worth anything. They each came home with an armload of records and stayed up all night playing one after another, dancing around Sebastian's large apartment and singing along to everything from Elvis and Deep Purple to Tom Jones and Credence Clearwater Revival, from Janis Joplin to The Beatles._

  


 

  


Blaine ate his dinner, listening to a few of Kurt's records. He fed and walked Princess, and tried not to call Kurt for an update. Kurt would call when he knew something. 

  


After working on a school assignment for an hour, Blaine's cell rang. He heard the notes of When I Am With You and knew it was Kurt.

  


“Hello? How is Carole?”

  


“She's resting. I got Dad home and he's asleep on the sofa. I'm sorry, Babe, but I don't have any other news. Carole is stable, they are running tests, but nobody can give us an answer yet,” Kurt's tired voice came over the phone. He was sitting on the blue tweed chair his mother used to sit on, his hands playing idly with things on the table beside him.

  


“Aww, I'm so sorry. Kurt, if you need me, I'll be on the next plane. Just one word from you and I'll be by your side – you know I will,” Blaine said softly into the phone, wishing he could just click his heels and be transported home to Kurt.

  


“No, I'm taking care of Dad and you need to get your class work done. We'll revisit this on the weekend when you're past the recital and the test. I wish I was going to be there for your recital – I love Moonlight Sonata and you play it so beautifully. I'd say good luck, but you don't need luck when you're blessed with talent,” Kurt said, wishing with all his might that he was home with Blaine instead of back in Lima at this hospital. There wasn't much in the world that Kurt actually hated, but sitting in the Lima Memorial Hospital was one of them. It brought back memories of his mother dying and his father's heart attack. He hated every old plastic chair and every odor and every hallway....he shook his head, tuning back in on Blaine.

  


“Your confidence in me is all that is going to pull me through it. I don't know how I can get past having to be here, worrying about Carole and Burt, missing you. Be sure to get enough sleep yourself, baby. I know you tend to forget about yourself when you're on a mission to help someone else. Call me if you need me. You know my heart is right there with you, don't you?” Blaine asked, trying not to let his voice crack. He thumbed through the sheets of music in his lap, looking for the piece he was working on for a class assignment.

  


“I know, Blaine, and knowing _that_ is what is getting me through _this_. I ate a bowl of soup and I'm going to bed. I'll call as soon as I know anything, and I promise to call when I get up in the morning,” Kurt said, twiddling the top of the candy dish sitting beside him on an end table. He sounded exhausted.

  


“Okay, take care of yourself. Call me even if its the middle of the night, I'm here for you. Always,” Blaine said, tears threatening. 

  


“I know. I love you,” Kurt said, his own cheeks damp.

  


“Love you, too. Goodnight, baby,” Blaine whispered and pushed the red button on the screen to end the call. He sighed and pulled out the page he needed for his homework. He was in no mood to work on the corrections for this fugue, but it was due on Wednesday and he had a lot to do tomorrow.

  


 

  


On Tuesday, Blaine had aced his test and turned in the fugue with all of the corrections to his music theory professor. He had practiced Moonlight Sonata until he couldn't possible do it again, had eaten a sandwich leaning over the sink and polished off a large glass of apple juice before he changed for bed. He wasn't sleepy and the anxiety of not knowing about Carole was wearing on him. He decided to read for a while to get sleepy and took a book at random off the shelf.

  


A few minutes later and he heard the tones of When I Am With You from the charger on his night table. 

  


“Hey, Good Looking, how are you?” he said, trying to be upbeat. He heard Kurt take a breath.

  


“Hi, Blaine. I hope I'm not calling too late,” Kurt's voice sounded worn out once again. 

  


“Of course not. How are Burt and Carole?”

  


“We got the diagnosis. Are you up to hearing this?” Kurt asked. He didn't want to say the words, but Blaine had a right to hear them.

  


“What is it?” Blaine asked, sitting up and holding his stomach, the stress tightening his muscles and Princess jumped on the bed to shove her nose into his ribs gently, asking if he needed to hug her.

  


“Carole has Multiple Sclerosis,” Kurt said, suddenly sounding very clinical as he described what the illness entailed. She would have to have physical therapy, there would be injections and pills. They would be able to treat the symptoms, but there was no cure. She had a fighting chance at a good life, but it would never be the same.

  


“Oh, Kurt. Why would this happen to someone who is as sweet and kind as Carole? She never hurt a soul. Life can be so unfair,” Blaine said, upset with the whole universe at the moment. He needed to have Kurt here to hold him, but that was selfish. He could go to Kurt, but they had already discussed this and it wouldn't be possible until next week. Blaine threw the book he was reading across the room, smashing it on the wall and watching it fall to the ground.

  


“Blaine, Blaine! Are you okay?” Kurt's voice sounded alarmed. He must have heard the book hit the wall.

  


“I...ah...a book fell. Everything is okay,” he said, not wanting his mood to make Kurt feel any worse than he already did. Kurt knew immediately what had happened. He'd seen Blaine throw books before, but he chose not to say anything. 

  


“Blaine, is Princess there with you?” Kurt asked, concern growing in his chest. He couldn't have Blaine breaking down in New York when he was needed in Ohio. Kurt couldn't be in two places at once. “When is Sebastain due home?”

  


“Prin is right here beside me. She knows I'm upset and she's pasted to my side, so you don't need to worry. Sebastian is due home tonight sometime. I'm okay, Kurt. Take care of your Dad. Papa Burt is the one that needs you right now. I will look at airfare and try to book a flight on Monday. Are you okay, Kurt? I know how much you love Carole...” Blaine had to know if he was going to be alright. A recital wasn't worth it if Kurt needed him.

  


“I'm fine. It was a blow, but it isn't like she has cancer, this is treatable and she is being very positive.”

  


“How long will she be in the hospital?”

  


“She's home now. Dad and I brought her home after lunch today. We had to go get her medications, the home health nurse came by. Oh, you'd have laughed – this girl was trying to tell Carole how to give an injection! I guess nobody told her Carole was a nurse. Carole gave us the sign to be quiet and patiently listened to this young nurse telling her all the things she would need to do. It was all Dad and I could do not to break out in gales of laughter as the nurse told Carole the importance of keeping the skin clean before injecting the needle,” Kurt's voice sounded amused, and Blaine was glad for that. It made his heart feel lighter.

  


“I finally took pity on her and let the cat out of the bag. Carole glared at me, she was having fun,” Kurt laughed again and Blaine's heart took an extra beat. 

  


“I'm so happy she's in high spirits, Kurt. Maybe I can call her tomorrow?”

  


“Of course. I'm staying a few more days, we have to figure out the physical therapy and Dad is still a mess. I don't feel like I can leave him right now. However, if you need me?” Kurt left the question for Blaine to answer if he wanted.

  


“I'll be fine. I miss you terribly, but you know best. If Papa Burt needs you – that is where you need to be. Princess and I will keep the home fires burning,” Blaine's voice petered out. He didn't know what else to say and there was a silence.

  


“I miss you, too, Blaine. I know this is best, but it hurts to know you're so far away. I think about you, especially at night. There's nobody to hold. I can hardly wait until I can get home, baby, and be in your arms again,” Kurt said softly, wiping a tear from his tired eye. He was in bed, wearing his silk pajamas and cuddled under the covers with a stuffed dolphin Brittany had given him years ago. It wasn't Blaine, but it was big and fluffy and something to hold. 

  


“Don't worry about me, Kurt. I'm not going to have an anxiety attack, Princess is looking out for me and Sebbie is due home late tonight. I'll call if I need you. Now, please take care of yourself and give Burt and Carole my love,” Blaine said, wondering if it was true. He did feel close to panic if he let himself. He'd take his medication and hold Princess close. He had his therapists' number just in case.

  


“I will, goodnight, baby. I love you,” Kurt whispered, afraid Blaine would hear the sadness in his voice. 

  


“I love you, too. We'll see each other soon,” Blaine whispered back. He closed his eyes and imagined Kurt was there with him, his eyes sparkling and his mouth smiling into a kiss. He missed Kurt.

  


 

  


Blaine tried in vain to go to sleep. He would doze off for a few minutes, then jerk awake, searching for Kurt on his side of the bed before remembering that Kurt was in Ohio. He finally sat up and listened to the rain fall on the roof. Sebastian's aunt owned the penthouse apartment in this building – well, actually she owned the entire building, but this was her private apartment. Blaine and Kurt had lived here two years now, sharing with Sebbie so they could go to school in New York. It was a nice place, probably worth six figures a month if they were paying rent. One of the things Blaine liked best – and there were a long list of them – was that he could hear the rain. He wondered if it was raining in Ohio.

  


Blaine had a belly ache. Not the kind that could be alleviated with toast or a dose of Maalox. No, this was an ache he had when his nerves had been rubbed raw and the muscles in his neck were so tight they hurt to move his head, it was the kind of ache that left spasms running down his back. This wasn't a real stomach ailment, it was a craving in his heart for the only person he could never live without. Kurt. And it could never be relieved by anything but Kurt's own warm embrace.

  


Blaine sat up in bed, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, resting his sore head on his aching knees. He didn't even realize he was crying until a knock came to his door.

  


He just sat there, watching Princess chase rabbits in her sleep as she stretched her long body in front of the fireplace.

  


The knock came again, then Sebastian let himself into the room, walking over to Blaine's bed. He was dressed in dark maroon pajamas and had a quilted smoking jacket on, tied at the waist. 

  


“Hey, Blaine. Kurt called me. He seemed worried and I came in to check on you,” Sebbie said, taking Blaine's hand and giving him a soft squeeze.

  


“I'm okay, just having a hard time sleeping. My stomach aches,” he whined, regretting it instantly. If Seb reported that back to Kurt, then it would just increase his worries. “Just...don't tell Kurt. He has enough to worry about right now,” Blaine said, letting go of his legs and lying back on the bed, but not letting go of Seb's hand. 

  


“Yeah, he told me about Carole. Tough break, she's a wonderful person. I hope she gets well soon,” Seb said, now patting Blaine's hand with his other one. “Can I get you anything?”

  


“No. I had a can of soup for dinner. I'm not hungry,” Blaine said, not looking at Seb.

  


“I'll be right back, okay?” Seb said and disappeared from the room. In his wake, Princess jumped on the bed to cuddle against Blaine. 

  


 

  


A short time later, Seb was back, a tray in his hands. He set it down on the bedside table and poured the steaming tea into Blaine's cup, then his own. Blaine sat up and took the tea, adding sugar and tasting it. 

  


“Mmmm. Thank you, Sebbie, this is perfect. What kind is it?”

  


“Kurt's recipe. It's chamomile and Earl Gray with a bit of peppermint. He gave it to me to take to Trent a while ago and I had some still in the tin. I added the bourbon,” Seb grinned.

  


“What?” Blaine turned quickly only to see that Seb was kidding. 

  


“Sorry, I couldn't resist. I know you don't drink. So, I was going to take Princess out for you if you'd like. I made you some buttered toast – black rye, your favorite,” Seb smiled, raising his eyebrow to ask if this would be alright.

  


“Sure. I was going to, but I was procrastinating.”

  


“I'll just slip on some shoes and we'll be right back,” Seb said, leaving Blaine to his toast and tea.

  


 

  


It was a half an hour later before the two got back, Princess wagging her tail and looking very proud of herself. Seb looked exasperated.

  


“Since when does she feel a need to chase squirrels at midnight?” Seb complained, but gave her a scratch behind her silky red ears.

  


Blaine smiled, but it faded fast.

  


“Blaine, don't take this wrong...but do you want me to sleep in here with you tonight?” Seb asked.

  


Blaine looked at his face very carefully...and what he found must have been what he was looking for because he looked relieved and scooted over. 

  


“Yeah...” he said in a hesitant voice.

  


 

  


Seb took off his coat and shoes. He was still in his pajamas and slipped in the bed beside his friend. Blaine turned towards the wall and Seb moved close, wrapping his arms around Blaine to hold him as he cried.

  


“Aw, Blaine. Kurt will be home soon. Is that what's gotten you so upset?” Seb asked.

  


“Well, that and Carole. She is so special to me. I mean...well, I have had Papa Burt for years, he's more like my dad than my own dad ever was. I have a better relationship with my own dad now – which is thanks to Burt, too. But I have never gotten to the place where my mother was a real mother to me. She was an authority figure that just wanted to dump me on poor Cooper ...or your mother....and it just never got better. Then Carole came along and suddenly it was as if I _had_ a mother,” Blaine tried to explain.

  


“I understand, buddy. I've had some of that myself. If it wasn't for Aunt Pauline...well, you know. The parents are still in France, but my home is here. Listen, Kurt told me about Carole and he said the doctors were optimistic. Let's not borrow trouble, okay? I bet she'll be just fine,” Sebbie tried to encourage Blaine. It must have had some effect because Blaine's muscles were relaxing a bit.

  


“Thanks, Seb. It's so sweet of you to come and take care of me, but I'm kind of worried about what Kurt will say if I tell him you spent the night in our bed,” Blaine said, worried he might offend Seb.

  


“No problem,” Seb answered. He reached over to the night table for his cell phone and dialed Kurt's number. A sleepy voice answered immediately.

  


“Hello?”

  


“Kurt.”

  


“Seb? What's wrong? Is it Blaine?” a panicked voice came through.

  


“It's okay, Kurt, I just wanted to tell you...well, ask you something. I'm in your room with Blaine,” Seb said.

  


“Okay...why?” Kurt's suspicious voice came through.

  


“I'm putting this on speaker. (static)..There. Anyway, I found him once again sitting up in bed, knees to chin with a belly ache and tears dripping down his pretty face. I made him some tea and toast, but he just looks lost,” Seb started to say, but Blaine interrupted.

  


“I'm fine. Listen, Kurt, you have enough to worry about. I just ate something that didn't agree with me. Go back to sleep,” Blaine tried to say, but Kurt cut him off.

  


“You're missing me that much, baby?” he asked and Blaine couldn't help but choke up.

  


“You are where you need to be, my love. I have Prin and I can call my therapist if I get bad. Right now I'm okay.”

  


“Kurt, Blaine needs somebody here with him. We all agree your place is there with your dad. I PROMISE there will be no fooling around or whatever your imagination comes up with...you can trust me. But Blaine needs to not be alone right now. What do you want me to do? I can call Rachel to come sleep with him?” Seb suggested.

  


“No, Sebbie. Please take care of him. For me. I talked to Dad and it looks like I can come home on Tuesday. I love you, Blaine. Let Sebbie take care of you until I get there, baby. Are you okay with all of this?” Kurt's voice came through the speaker and it was like warm arms surrounding him again.

  


“Yes, Kurt. I will be strong for you. Thank you,” he said, sleepy from his anti-anxiety medication. “I love you, too, Kurt...I'll show you how much when I see you again.”

  


Sebastian took the phone into the hallway.

  


“Okay, speaker is off, it's just me. I will stay in here and just hold him until he falls asleep, then go back to my room. I think he's okay, Kurt, just a bit of his anxiety, but I don't see him getting bad enough to call the doctor or anything. Take care of yourself, buddy. I'll be praying for you and for your folks. Call if you need anything,” Seb said.

  


“Thanks, Seb. I'm trusting you with the love of my life, you know. Please take care of him, he means everything to me,” Kurt sounded like he was going to start crying.

  


“Maybe it was a bad idea to call you so late...but Blaine was looking bad and he wasn't going to let me near him without getting your permission. What's that about?” Seb asked.

  


“It's not what you think...we don't do sub/dom games or anything,” Kurt said and Sebastian laughed.

  


“No, he is still trying to learn how to trust people after Trent and the other incident. He doesn't trust himself to make a logical, safe decision. He leans on me for that, and we're working to move that trust back to himself, it just takes a while. So, no, it wasn't that he didn't trust you, Seb, its that he can't trust himself,” Kurt explained. He wouldn't have said anything about Blaine's private affairs, but Blaine had told him it was okay to tell Seb things if they came up.

  


“Okay. Yeah, I understand. I guess I am glad I called. Now, you need to get some sleep and so do I. I'll get back in there and get Blaine to calm down and fall off to sleep, then I'm going back to my room.”

  


“Goodnight, Seb, and thank you so much. You're a lifesaver. I can rest easy knowing you're taking care of everything there in New York,” Kurt said, yawning. “Bye.”

  


“Goodnight, Kurt.”

  


Sebbie closed his eyes and thought about Blaine. He'd _wanted_ Blaine since they were adolescent children, wanted him with a pulling of his heart, with a craving that was never truly quiet. That craving hadn't diminished over the years, he still wanted him. It was only different now because he knew he could never have him. He belonged to Kurt, body and soul, and the pain of that was not as sharp as it once was. He could see - -hell, a blind man could see – how much they loved each other. Sebastian could never come between them and he found to his astonishment that he didn't want to.

  


The old Sebastian wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of this situation – he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could have Blaine, if only for one night. But in his heart, Sebastian also knew that to take Blaine's when he was this vulnerable, to take his body, would mean to take his soul and Sebastian loved Blaine far more than that. 

  


No, after what life had dealt out to Blaine, Seb couldn't push him over the edge. He sighed, glad he wasn't hard since that was what usually happened when he thought of Blaine in bed. Seb took a deep breath, gritted his teeth, and walked calmly back into the bedroom. 

  


“You're okay with this?” Seb asked.

  


“Yeah, I just need somebody to hold me for a while. Thank you, Sebbie,” Blaine said, drowsy and warm in the bed. He moved over to make space for Seb on Kurt's side of the bed and sighed in contentment when Seb's arms wrapped around him.

  


“Good night, sweet prince,” Seb whispered, almost to himself, closing his own eyes and willing himself to just be there and enjoy the warmth. He even resisted giving Blaine a soft kiss on his shoulder, that was not okay. He filled his mind with thoughts of his days when they were children and played in the meadow behind the barn down the road. He was asleep in minutes. 

  


 

  


~*~

  


Morning came and Blaine woke up, so happy Kurt was back in his arms. He squeezed his lover, who was lying with his face to the wall and the blankets up over his face. Blaine was lying diagonally across the bed, his arms around Kurt's shoulders and his head resting on his back. 

  


“Just let yourself out, darlin', I'll try to call you...” the man mumbled. In someone else's voice. Blaine jumped a mile, grabbing the top blanket to cover his pajama-clad body before looking to see who was in the bed with him.

  


“Sebastian?” he said, the night before coming back to him in bits and pieces.

  


“Hmmm?”

  


“Oh, hey...Seb. I guess I forgot you were here last night. Sorry, the medication makes me emotional,” Blaine said, blushing to think how he might have been carrying on. 

  


“No problem. I was going back to my own room as soon as you were asleep, Blaine, but you never told me you were such a cuddle whore!! I could hardly move the way you were gripping me whenever I so much as twitched,” he related to Blaine, fixing him with an accusatory stare.

  


“I guess I am a bit..ah...grabby? Sorry. Thank you for staying with me last night. I know I'll be fine as soon as Kurt is home, but I needed to get eight hours of sleep – I have the recital today,” Blaine explained. He leaned over the side of the bed to pet Princess, who was wagging her long tail and hitting Sebastian's leg with every stroke.

  


“Damn, she could rip flesh from bones with that tail!” Seb kidded, rubbing his skin. “Do I need to do anything to get you ready for the recital?”

  


“No, I have to limber up my fingers and practice the middle passage of the piece and that requires concentration,” Blaine said, waiting for Seb to leave the room before removing his pajamas. 

  


“Okay, Blaine. I'm glad you're feeling better,” Seb said, a smile lurking on his face when he could see how much better Blaine seemed today. 

  


“Sebbie? Ah...thank you,” Blaine blushed and walked over to his friend, wrapping him in his arms for a quick hug. “It meant a lot to me.”

  


“Me, too,” Sebastian whispered to himself as he left the room.

  


 

  


~*~

  


Blaine was wearing a tux, very formal in some aspects, except that it was made of dark blue, green, and gray plaid fabric – a friend of Kurt's had loaned it to him from one of the large fashion houses in New York. He had put on a crisp white shirt and wore a black satin bow-tie. He was trying so hard not to be nervous, but he knew there were scouts in the audience, bigwigs from record companies, a lot of important people. He needed to loosen up a bit, so he called Princess over to him. She sat next to his chair.

  


“Hey, girl. You can wait in the audience with Sebbie, if he gets here in time. I'm next,” Blaine said to the dog. He grinned as he blushed when a blonde woman frowned at him as she walked by backstage. A note on the piano sounded to warn Blaine to get ready.

  


He walked to the piano, Princess walking by his side. There was a bit of everyone in this audience, and Blaine liked that. It was easier to please a crowd of people if they are diverse he had always thought. 

  


“Let's go, girl,” Blaine said and Princess laid down next to the piano, her eyes on Blaine. She didn't understand what was happening. At least she was used to the music -she accompanied Blaine to college every day – but the crowd had confused her and she could sense that her master was nervous. She was only a dog, but she knew something was wrong when Kurt was not with them. 

  


The curtain opened and, after being announced, Blaine's fingers flew over the keys playing Moonlight Sonata. It was Kurt's favorite classical piece and Blaine played it perfectly and with gusto and ease. 

  


Blaine knew what notes to touch and what order to play them in; he knew the right pressure and rhythm. What he needed to make the music right was the spirit and he had chosen this sonata because it was Kurt's favorite. He could never hear it without his thoughts turning to the day he and Kurt had danced to this, chests together and cheeks touching. It was the first day that Blaine had realized he was in love with Kurt. Not just friends, not even best friends, but in _love_. It was just before he had realized for the first time that he was undeniably gay. The day he knew without a doubt that he wanted a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. 

  


 

  


“ _Hey, you know the dance coming up at school?” Blaine had mentioned._

  


“ _Yeah, on Friday. What about it? We can go with Rachel, she told me she'd go with both of us as her 'escorts',” Kurt laughed and smiled at Blaine who smiled back. Rachel was so cute and had the ability to make uncomfortable moments at school seem silly and fun. She could be a tiger in defending her boys from bullies._

  


“ _I'd love that but...I don't know how to dance. The announcement said we would be doing some waltzes and other kinds, but I don't have a clue. I bet there won't be any rock, you know how Miss Simpson is about that 'dangerous music'.” Blaine frowned._

  


“ _Oh, I can teach you how to do a waltz. Two-step or box?” Kurt asked, his face bright and his eyes sparkling._

  


“ _Ah...either. Whatever is easier. When did you learn to waltz?” Blaine asked. He knew Cooper knew how to dance because he'd been sent to dance school, but by the time Blaine showed up his parents had lost interest._

  


“ _My mom,” Kurt said, that melancholy look on his face for an instant before he smiled at Blaine. “She taught me and we would put on her favorite music and waltz together. I was too short, but she made it seem okay. I danced with her that last week, you know. Dad brought her record player to the hospital and we took turns waltzing with her when she felt able to stand. I'm pretty sure Dad was just carrying her a the last,” Kurt told his pal, his eyes looking off into the distance and Blaine knew he was seeing his mother._

  


_The curly-headed boy leaned forward a tiny bit and slowly put his skinny arms around his friend's shoulders. Kurt shook his head and realized it was Blaine hugging him. He hugged back, laying his head on Blaine's shoulder and not crying. It was Blaine that showed him that he could think about his mother and know it was good to remember her. He didn't need to cry any more at thoughts of her. He tightened his hug, burying his nose in Blaine's neck and holding for a full two minutes._

  


_Then Kurt took Blaine to the attic and found the portable record player and the records, placing his mother's favorite “Moonlight Sonata” on the turntable and playing the music, showing Blaine where to place his hands if he were leading, then how to step and where to place his feet._

  


_They spent the rest of the afternoon waltzing, holding each other while the strains of Beethoven wove themselves through the crisp fall afternoon. It would always be one of Blaine's favorite memories._

  


 

  


Even the first few bars of Moonlight would have Blaine catching his breath, no matter where he was or what he was doing. It had become his favorite piece of music.

  


He finished with a flourish and stood, petting Princess when she got up and joined him. The crowd went wild clapping and a few whistled. Blaine bowed and left the stage, Princess following at heel. The clapping would not stop and the master of ceremonies asked Blaine to step back out and perhaps play something else – after a moment of thought he knew the exact piece of music Kurt loved. 

  


As he sat back down at the keyboard, his eyes gazed over the crowd. He thought he saw something in the wings behind him backstage, but dismissed it. He had to concentrate on what he knew by heart. He finally decided on a piece of Vivaldi's 'Seasons”...he played “Spring” with all the playfulness this brought to his imagination.

  


It was a hit with this crowd and they all seemed to pay close attention. Roars of approval and much clapping followed as he finished. Blaine stood up and bowed, a surprised smile on his face and Princess by his side. Sebastian was waiting backstage in the wings and gave him a pat on the back.

  


“That was amazing, Blainers,” he said, grinning.

  


“Thank you. I just wish Kurt could have been here to see it,” Blaine commented.

  


“He did, buddy. He saw it all,” Seb told his friend, then stepped aside to show the laptop sitting open on the table in the stage wings.

  


“Oh, Blaine...that was so beautiful. I wish I could have been there in person. Seb, thank you. It was a marvelous idea,” Kurt said from his dining table in Lima, sitting in front of his computer. He sent a quick thanks to whomever invented Skype. 

  


“Kurt! I'm so happy you were here...well, not here, but...you know. It's over with and I'm so happy. Now I can come to you in Ohio,” Blaine gushed, so glad the time of being without Kurt was over.

  


“No, baby...that wouldn't make sense. I'm coming home on Tuesday, today is Saturday so it's just a short time. Go to lunch with Sebbie, then go home and take a long, hot bath. I'll be home to you quickly. I promise,” Kurt said, his eyes red but a smile on his beautiful lips. 

  


“Okay. I will be counting the minutes,” Blaine answered, his eyes never leaving Kurt's on the screen. 

  


“Okay, time to go. I'll take him to that cafe you two love in Greenwich, okay, Kurt?” Seb asked and Kurt smiled.

  


“Perfect. Have a grilled cheese, it's the best. They put paper thin slices of tomato and prosciutto on the cheese before grilling it. Oh, and they use havarti cheese. Its to die for!” Kurt enthused. 

  


“Sounds wonderful. Just the right touch for a cool fall day. Ready, Blaine?” Seb asked.

  


“In a minute, I want to change out of the tux first. Love you, Kurt,” he said, touching the screen.

  


“Love you, too, Blaine. I'll be home before you know it. Thanks, Seb,” Kurt said before signing off.

  


 

  


Lunch was great. Except Blaine missed Kurt. He had a monte cristo...the ham was Black Forest and the cheese was Emmental, dipped in egg batter and fried to golden perfection. It was Blaine's guilty pleasure. There was the traditional dusting of powdered sugar over all. Seb took Kurt's advice and got the grilled cheese with tomato and prosciutto. They both opted for the soup of the day – beef barley – thick and spicy and heartwarming. The food was heavenly, but all Blaine could think about was that Kurt would be home on Tuesday. 

  


It was appropriate that Kurt would be home on a Tuesday, Blaine loved Tuesdays. He was born on a Tuesday. Kurt was born on a Tuesday. He met Kurt and fell in love on Tuesdays. Maybe he and Kurt could get married on a Tuesday? Oh...maybe he would propose to Kurt on that wonderful day of the week.

  


“Hey, where are you?” Seb asked after Blaine had sat there, eating and looking off into the distance. Seb had fed Princess two bread crusts and Blaine didn't even scold him, so he knew his friend's mind was off somewhere. It wasn't hard to guess where.

  


“Oh, sorry, Sebbie. I had meant to ask you, how is Auntie Pauline?”

  


“She's doing fine. Her eyesight isn't what it used to be, so she told me she couldn't play cards with her friends any more. I found some with larger numbers on them so she could see them,” Seb related, dipping the last crust of his sandwich in the thick soup and popping it into his mouth.

  


“That was nice of you, did she appreciate them?” Blaine asked. 

  


“She invited her cronies over for tea and a game of bid whist that afternoon. I was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and distinctly heard her say something about drawing to an inside straight. I'm pretty sure that isn't something you do in a game of bid whist,” Seb grinned, thinking about how his auntie performed this elaborate ruse... she wanted to fit in with her upperclass friends, but she had been born in the Bowery of New York and it took grim determination and a lucky marriage to bring her into society. Seb loved to watch “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” because it reminded him so much of his Auntie Pauline.

  


“She's a character all right,” Blaine agreed. He liked Seb's auntie.

  


“Shall we?” Blaine asked when they were done and the bill paid. He slipped some cash under the side of his plate and stood to leave. Seb walked back from the men's room and reached for his jacket, but Blaine got there first and helped him on with the jacket. They opted to walk in the early autumn sunshine for a few locks before entering a subway station and going back home.

  


“Thanks, Seb, for distracting me from missing Kurt. I know I can be alone in my head, but...I don't know what takes over in my head, especially at night. I know there is nothing to panic about, but I can't stop it. My stars, if it wasn't for you and Princess here....I don't know what I would have done. You're a good friend, Sebbie.”

  


“Thanks, Blaine, but it isn't anything special, anyone would have done the same. I guess Carole is going to be alright?” Seb asked, embarrassed that Blaine was thanking him for something he would have fought for the chance to do. 

  


“Kurt tells me she will be. She has a 'medium' case. Some people don't show many symptoms, some show debilitating symptoms from the first. MS is still a mystery to the medical community. They can treat the symptoms, they can give her medications that will slow the rate of progression, they can give her physical therapy. But there is no cure. Kurt says his dad is worse than Carole, he's smothering her and Kurt has to tell him to back off and let her come to terms with it in her own way. He seems very agitated, but I'm sure Carole will settle them both down,” Blaine explained and Seb smiled. He liked Carole, too, and had no doubt she would be in charge of the house and Burt again in a matter of days.

  


They grew silent, standing for a while before seats were available on the subway. They got off and changed trains, then rode to the station before their apartment to give themselves a few minutes to pick up groceries for when Kurt came home.

  


Laughing at the antics of the toddler down the street who always asked Blaine where his guitar was, Seb and Blaine walked into the apartment. Seb to his room to work on a long procrastinated paper he was writing for school and Blaine to put away the groceries. Blaine turned on the radio and could hear Seb singing along with the song as he began to prepare dinner. He was making tamale pie and it took several stages, so he thought he would start now and work on his essay in between. 

  


They spent a quiet night, eating the dish Blaine made covered with chopped olives and sour cream. Afterwards they both ate ice cream – it was butter brickle because Kurt hated it so they took advantage of his absence to splurge.

  


After getting ready for bed, Blaine was in the kitchen getting an aspirin. He had a vague headache and thought if he just took a few aspirin he could stave off the huge one that was waiting in the wings to cripple him. He knew it was stress, but he hated the muscle relaxants the doctor prescribed because they made him drowsy.

  


“Blaine?” Seb came in from his room, decked out in his maroon pajamas and black quilted smoking jacket. Blaine was wearing Kurt's silk pajamas, the legs and arms rolled up a bit to fit him as if he had borrowed them from a much older brother. They just...reminded him of Kurt and made him feel less lonely.

  


“Yeah, I just wanted something to drink. You up for a reason?” Blaine asked.

  


“Just to check that the door was locked and you were okay,” Seb answered.

  


“I think the lock is fine. Remember we made sure after walking Princess?” Blaine addressed the first question. 

  


Seb looked at him, a brow raised in question.

  


“I'm fine. I don't need a damn babysitter. What, did Daddy Kurt call to be sure you gave me my bottle and burped me?” Blaine snapped at Seb. 

  


“You know that isn't true in the least, Blaine Devon Anderson. I was just checking because I care about you. I know you're getting better. You know you're getting better. Kurt knows you're getting better. Hell, Princess knows you're getting better. Blaine, _getting better_ is not the same as _being well_. I won't beat around the bush. You are a hundred times better than you were even two years ago, but the truth is that you need Kurt like you need air to breathe. He and I both know it and you cannot convince me that you are unaware of it. It doesn't mean you need a babysitter, but it does mean that as your friend I have a right to make sure you are doing well. So, as aggravating as it is, I am going to check on you until your love returns. Get used to it,” Sebbie told him firmly, waiting for Blaine to just go ballistic. But instead, Blaine gave him a warm smile.

  


“Okay, I get it. Thank you, Seb. And if you aren't busy...can you just hold me for a little while so I can get to sleep?”

  


“Sure thing. Let's get to bed,” Seb agreed. He stayed with Blaine, combing his fingers through the silky curls until Blaine fell asleep, then making his way back to his room. He wished Kurt would hurry up and get home. This was jangling his nerves to have to be so near to Blaine and never be able to touch him in the way he wanted to. Seb sighed and opened his phone book to a random page and dialed.

  


“Hey, Rudy. Yes, its Seb, what are you doing tonight? Cool, want to come by for a glass of wine, maybe watch a movie or play some chess?”

  


 

  


~*~

  


Blaine had a hard day. He was late for class, thought he had forgotten his extra folder on the subway and walked almost all the way back to the station before he realized it was in a different pocket of his backpack. His professor of music theory had a different opinion on the critique of the fugue and he'd argued with her – a thing he never did – until he was so upset that Princess had gotten up on her hind legs and pushed her feet into his chest. He sat down abruptly and listened to the dog, knowing she knew best. He was still embarrassed in spite of this happening in the professor's office instead of the open campus, but he quietly apologized and left abruptly with his dog to go sit in the sun and calm down.

  


A few minutes of Princess snuggling with him on the grass under the oak tree and he was seeing life a little less burdensome. After all, Kurt would be home tomorrow. Blaine decided to skip his last class – he'd already done the assignment and turned it in last Friday – he called Princess to his side, setting off for the subway station. Part way there, he changed his mind and they walked to the park, Princess frisking around him like a puppy as he threw a stick for her. They played until both were tired beyond measure, so they lay down in the grass and let the sunshine warm them. 

  


Studying his dog in the fierce sun of early autumn, Blaine thought he could see she was getting a few white hairs on her face. He's had her since he was fifteen which made her six years old. He had read about Irish Setters and knew they were among the longest lived of all dogs, sometimes living into their twenties. He could not imagine a day when Princess wouldn't be at his side. She turned over so he would rub her belly, just like when she was a puppy as if to dispel any thoughts he might have that she was getting old. He nuzzled her neck for a moment, burying his face in her silky red fur. She was the best friend, besides Kurt of course, a guy could ever have. He often wondered at the miracle of her, of how Papa Burt had known how much he would need her. He smiled as he looked at the sky and saw some dark clouds coming over them.

  


“Hey, Princess, we better get home. Looks like rain,” he cooed to her. She stood up and shook herself, settling her glossy coat and featherings before looking back to be sure her beloved master was also getting himself ready to go. He clipped her leash on her collar – she didn't need it, but it was the law – and they walked briskly home to the apartment.

  


“Seb?” Blaine called, but got no answer. He called again, walking through the huge apartment to see if he was sunning on the balcony. No Seb. He walked to the kitchen and found a note under the magnet on the refrigerator in Sebastian's neat script:

  


 

  


_Gone to Rudy's, be back on Wednesday afternoon._

  


_Call if you need any little thing! _

  


_Yes, I mean it. _

  


_Love you._

  


_S._

  


 

  


Oh. Well, he must be feeling lonely. Rudy was a hook-up that turned into a regular that turned into a friend. Everyone liked the tall skinny man with his huge handlebar mustache and cowboy hat which Seb swore he even wore to bed at night. Seb hung out with him when he was feeling low or couldn't find a hook-up at one of the bars that he frequented. Blaine and Kurt both wished Seb would make the relationship a bit more permanent. Rudy loved Seb, that much was plain. He'd drop whatever – or whomever - he was doing if Seb called and he would do anything for him. Blaine couldn't say if Seb loved Rudy or if he just felt friendship because he didn't talk about things like that and Blaine felt funny asking. 

  


The truth was that Seb had gone to Rudy's for the night, but left early that morning to check on Trent. Trent was doing better and attending school again here in New York. His mother decided to stay here and Trent was happy about that. He'd made some new friends and Seb came to visit at least once a week. He was stopping by today to play a game of chess.

  


 

  


Back at the apartment, Blaine fixed himself a small salad and some fruit, cutting up the nectarine and placing it in a bowl with a few blackberries. He wasn't hungry, but he had to eat something.

  


“Hey, Princess. It's getting late. Maybe we should scoot along to bed?” he asked. Maybe if he went to bed early, he could sleep and then it would be Tuesday and this terrible Monday would just be a memory. 

  


He took off his clothes, wondering how Sebastian was able to keep the heat up so high. His utility bills must be astronomical, but he never said a word. He just kept it nice and warm in the winter and cool in the summer. After a thorough shower in which Blaine was too sad to even try to masturbate, he slid under the sheets and closed his eyes, wondering how he would ever be able to fall asleep. He was wrong, it took about two minutes and all the stress of the day that was showered off to go down the drain seemed to stay away. He didn't even dream, just lay still and quiet, his arms around Kurt's pillow as he turned once again and felt lost in the large bed without Kurt.

  


 

  


“Hey, Seb, that's not funny. Don't tickle me or you're out of here,” Blaine complained when Sebbie used a feather or something to tickle him. He brushed it away in his sleep, falling back under quickly. He woke again, this time with arms locked around him and a warm body snuggled close to his, a harness pressing into his back, hands around his torso, and fingers clasped around his cock.

  


“Seb! Get away from me. Here I trusted you and you behaved and now thi...” he stopped mid-word, sniffing as he smelled Kurt's scent: Rain by Marc Jacobs. There was no way Seb wore that, it was sold in the women's department. Blaine didn't open his eyes, just leaned back and relaxed as the warm hand ran down his chest to dawdle at nipples and then wrap around his cock once again, playing and teasing before finally settling down to business. Blaine sighed heavily and turned slowly into Kurt's arms.

  


“Oh...Kurt. My baby. I missed you so much. So, so much,” he whispered, looking into those green-blue-gray eyes with the splashes of sunlight in them. There was the narrow, delicate nose and the perfect rosy lips. He looked at the lips for a long while until he couldn't take another burning second and touched his own lips there in a heated kiss that Kurt felt all the way through his body. Kurt immediately deepened the kiss, his tongue caressing Blaine and then exploring his mouth. Blaine did the same until they went back to gentle soft kisses and moving soft lips across one another's mouths.

  


“Blaine...oh, how I missed you....” Kurt whispered into his neck, nuzzling and nipping, drawing Blaine's warm drowsy scent into his nostrils to make his body tremble in anticipation. 

  


Blaine finally acknowledged that there was more to Kurt than his lips and kissed his nose before moving his lips down his cheeks to his jaw and neck. By the time Blaine was fully awake, he was so hard he had to have Kurt. Right now.

  


“Oh, baby, I don't think I can wait. Please, please....” Blaine chanted, his heart flipping in his chest as he kissed across Kurt's face, not missing a single sun-kissed freckle. 

  


“Calm down, darling man, I'm here. I was only gone ten days, not forever..” Kurt started, his heart doing some flipping of its own.

  


“It was an eternity. I was all ready to crawl inside the luggage compartment of a bus going to Lima so I could be with you, Kurt.” Blaine said, backing up so he could see Kurt's eyes once more. Kurt laughed and it was like manna from heaven. Blaine could live, eat, and breathe that laugh. 

  


He pulled off his pajamas, shivering in the autumn cold because he'd left the bedroom window open. Kurt, already naked, slid under the warm blankets and pulled them up around Blaine's shoulders so they were in the warmth of their nest, together and touching. Having just awoken, Blaine's skin was warm and Kurt snuggled close, taking up where he'd left off kissing Blaine's long neck. 

  


“Don't leave me again, Kurt. I'm not myself when you're gone, baby,” Blaine whined.

  


“You were fine and you know it. Yes, you may have missed me just like I missed you – but you were fine,” Kurt said, wanting Blaine to realize he could stand alone and survive. He needed to know that.

  


“Then why did you tell Sebbie to sleep in our bed with me?” Blaine asked, sure he had Kurt now.

  


“Because you refuse to realize your own strength. And because Sebbie is lost – more than you ever were – and he needs to take care of people so he can see the good that comes of it. It shows him that he is needed and wanted and that we trust him. Blaine, can't you see how much he needs to be loved?” Kurt asked, his face serious. Blaine stopped kissing and nibbling on him and lay still, thinking.

  


“You're right. He does. Oh, Kurt, why didn't I see that?” Blaine asked, ashamed of himself for being so self-centered that he did not see his friend's need.

  


“You did though. You always see the good in people, Blaine. That is the most important thing I think I ever learned from you. That even if a person is your sworn enemy, there may be some good in them. Just leave it to you to find it, Blaine. You always do. Remember when I just hated Sebastian? I wanted him to feel bad and be hurt like he did to other people. It took you sitting me down to explain to me that he was doing it as a defense. That he had been hurt so much in his life that all he learned was to strike first and leave no man standing or he would be hurt worse,” Kurt said, his hand seeking and finding Blaine's and then lacing their fingers together. 

  


Not letting go, Blaine turned on his side and rested his weight on his forearm and elbow, still holding his love's hand.

  


“Yeah...well, I had known him since we were in preschool together. It was so obvious in his case,” Blaine said.

  


“Well, what about Sue Sylvester?” Kurt asked.

  


“What, Coach Sylvester from McKinley?”

  


“Yes. We all thought she was mean as a snake and you were the one that found out she helped Becky get into the Cheerios, that she gave Marley's mom the money for Marley's therapy, that she donated to the homeless shelter and so many things. Without you, we would never have known that and she would have been a hated figure. Because of you the Glee club sang to her on that Christmas...I think it meant the world to her. I saw her right after, sitting in her office crying with the biggest smile on her face. 

  


“Blaine, you are amazing at finding the good in people. You comforted Santana when she was outed, and Tina when Mike dumped her...you are so kind and so good. I love you so much, my wonderful boyfriend. Who on earth could be luckier than me?” Kurt asked, kissing Blaine once again.

  


“Look who's talking. Who gave Santana a home in New York when she was in need? You. Who brought clothes and food and cheer to Sam and his family, not to mention letting him live with you, when they were homeless? You. Who suggested the Glee club sing “To Sir, With Love” to Mr. Schue and saved the Glee club? You. Who puts up with Rachel Berry's annoying caterwauling and self-promotion and found the good in her so everyone else could see it, too? You. Who threw the competition between you and Rachel for rights to sing Defying Gravity because you didn't want anyone hassling your father? Oh..you again. And, Kurt my sweet friend, who learned to waltz just to make his mama happy in her last days? You. Who took care of his father to make sure the family stayed together, who became a rock to steady Burt so he could carry on? You, Kurt. And, my dear Kurt....who took the hand of a very lonely boy he didn't even know and bring him into your family, loved him and cared for him and protected him so he could grow up and fall head-over-heels in love with you? Kurt – you are my pal, my friend, my hero, my caretaker, my partner and above all the _love of my life_.”

  


Blaine smiled at Kurt, who was blushing furiously by now and hardly looking at Blaine in his embarrassment. How did Blaine know all that? Some of it happened before they even knew each other. 

  


“If I'm your hero, Blaine...and the love of my life, _you_ are the love of _mine_ , too. I do love you so much, my baby,” Kurt whispered into Blaine's neck. 

  


“And I love you just as much, my darling Kurt,” Blaine whispered back.

  


They lay together, moving as slow as starfish, touching and kissing and sharing their love and they didn't leave their bed until late in the evening when hunger called to them. They ordered Thai and ate in bed, feeding each other and playing Kurt's record player, dancing and singing and making sweet love until they once again fell asleep just where they belonged. In each other's arms under the picture of the two of them dressed like Piglet and Pooh, thirteen years ago. 


	13. Twenty-Two Years Old

 

“Kurt, stop it,” Carole smacked his butt as she dodged in back of him trying to get the flour out of the cupboard.

“I'm just trying to help,” Kurt said, hurt that she wasn't appreciating his efforts to do things for her.

“Burt! Burt, come in here and drag your son out of my kitchen before I loose my temper,” Carole called. Burt appeared at the door with Blaine, both looking at the two combatants as if they would rather fight an enraged bull. 

“Ah...” Burt said, looking at Blaine. Blaine turned tail and walked quickly to the front door, snapping his fingers at Princess.

“Here, girl, I'll take you out for a walk...” Blaine said, reaching for her leash.

“Stop where you stand, Anderson. You just took that dog out not fifteen minutes ago. Grow a pair and come retrieve your boyfriend. Now,” Burt roared down the hallway. Well, he didn't really roar, but that was how it sounded to Blaine who jumped and returned very reluctantly to the kitchen. He reached his arms around Kurt and kissed him softly on his lips. Kurt tried to pull away, but Blaine could be very persuasive when he wanted to be.

“Come with me, Kurt, okay? I know you want to help. Carole knows you want to help, but she also knows what her strengths and limitations are and how to deal with them. Let's go down to the basement and watch White Christmas, okay?” Blaine asked his boyfriend. Kurt started to argue, but one look at Carole's determined face and he gave in. 

“May I make some hot chocolate for everyone first?” he asked his step-mom.

“Of course, Kurt. That sounds festive and wonderful. Please do,” she smiled at Kurt and turned back to her pie dough, her crutches leaning against the counter.

 

~*~

“I just wanted to help!” Kurt whined. “The woman has multiple sclerosis and she shouldn't be overdoing herself, Blaine,” Kurt said, flopping himself down on the blue corduroy sofa in the basement.

“I know you mean well, sweetheart, but Carole knows more about it than we do. She is smart and knows how to take care of herself. I read quite a bit about MS over the past year and I think hers is the kind that will allow her to do things for a long time yet. She might be having some issue with her left foot still, but her hands seem to work just fine,” Blaine tried to tell Kurt, who was not actively listening. He felt guilty for not moving back home to help with Carole. His dad had talked to him, Blaine had done the same thing. It was finally Finn who convinced Kurt to stay in school. He'd told his brother that it was his job to help and too many people back home would be a strain on their finances.

“I don't want her to get worse, Blaine. I'm afraid that if she does too much, she'll get worse and ….well, I just don't want her to get worse.”

“Hey now, let's watch the movie. We've only seen it six times this year and its almost Christmas Eve!” Blaine kidded.

Watching White Christmas was never a joke to Kurt and he glared at Blaine, who kissed the tip of his nose to deflect any sparks coming from Kurt's eyes. He smiled at his boyfriend and Kurt couldn't help but smile back. They leaned back on the comfortable old couch, pulled the warm green woven blanket up around their shoulders and snuggled together, sipping hot cocoa stirred with a peppermint stick, and turned on the VCR. 

When the boys had gone off to college to become the men they were now, Burt had no idea what to do with the basement that had been their bedroom. Carole had moved all the furniture that was still usable down to the basement, leaving Kurt and Blaine's bed where it was, just adding a privacy screen. She couldn't stop from laughing when she ordered it, but nobody else mentioned it. The famous fight between Kurt and Finn was still a subject they stayed away from.

Now the basement was a warm and cozy space, she had all the furniture recovered in durable fabrics in shades of blue and green with punches of color. It was a bit of a trip down memory lane, the room fitted with retro things...'vintage' as the popular phrase went. There was still a VCR with a library of old movies on tape, most of which came from Kurt's own collection. There was an old radio, a record player and records, board games on the shelves, and a table with a few chairs. In spite of all the work, it was seldom used except when Kurt and Blaine came home to visit. Burt didn't like being reminded his son was gone, so he felt depressed when he was in the basement. He would much rather stay upstairs and enjoy the his and hers recliners in the den where the wide-screen TV came down from the ceiling. Carole had given him the den for Christmas the first year they were married and it was his favorite place. It was paneled in dark wood with paintings of hunting dogs and huge bass and trout – it didn't matter if Burt had never shot a gun at a live animal nor yet hooked a fish since he was a young boy – it was masculine and cozy and his beautiful bride gave it to him. 

 

Kurt snuggled closer to Blaine and when they finished their mugs of cocoa; they set them on the coffee table and lay back on the pile of pillows on the extra-wide sofa. They knew they wouldn't be disturbed down here, it was well established that this was their domain when they came to visit and after two incidents of someone walking in at inopportune times (Finn once and Burt once), nobody walked in without knocking. 

“You aren't mad I dragged you away to be with me, right?” Blaine asked.

“No. Like I said, I just want to help. I feel useless if I'm not baking or stirring or decorating...I guess we could go shopping, but we've already reached the limit of our gift budget this year. I'm feeling restless, Blaine. What did my Grandma used to say?” he asked rhetorically.

“Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” Blaine supplied, grinning at Kurt.

“Gosh, I miss that woman,” Kurt said. His grandmother had lived with them after his mother died and he had grown very close to her. She taught him to cook and clean and take care of a house. She was always there with a hug whenever one was needed. She listened without judgment when Kurt had something on his mind and those things were just expanded to include Blaine when he started becoming a part of the Hummel household. Lord, he missed her.

“I miss her, too,” Blaine agreed, his mind going over some of the warm memories of Kurt's grandma.

“Here, lean against me, Kurt. We can cuddle for a while, okay? I want to just kiss your face and wrap my arms around you for a while,” Blaine said, doing just that. Kurt gave in easily and they enjoyed each other's company until the movie was half over and Kurt had fallen asleep. Blaine carefully edged himself out from under his boyfriend and got off the sofa, putting a pillow in Kurt's arms, bringing the blanket up to cover his shoulders, and kissing him on the forehead.

Blaine walked up the stairs to the kitchen.

“Can I help with anything, Carole?” he asked as he walked over to the sink and got a glass of water.

“No, honey, I was just going to go lie down for an hour. Nothing needs to be tended to until then. Burt is watching a game in his den, though, if you want company?” Carole said, getting her crutches and making her way over to Blaine. She leaned them against the sink and put her arms around him. “Thank you, Blaine, for understanding. I really am aware of my limitations you know,” she smiled before retrieving her crutches and walking out of the kitchen.

 

Blaine looked around the kitchen and found some gingerbread that Kurt had made for dessert the night before. He cut two generous slices, plopped some whipped cream on top, added two forks, then filled two glasses with cold milk, and took them on a tray to Burt's den.

“Hey, Blaine! Did you come to watch the game with me?” Burt asked, his face covered with a grin when he saw the snack on the tray. Blaine set it down on the coffee table and handed Burt's to him.

“Kurt's asleep and Carole was headed up to take a nap before dinner. I heard Finn rambling around in his room up there, too. I thought you might like some company,” Blaine said, sitting in Carole's recliner and putting the footrest up. He set the plate of gingerbread on his lap and took a drink of the cold milk.

“I love cold milk,” Burt said and looked at Blaine with discriminating eyes. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course,” Blaine answered right away.

“From Kurt?” 

“Well, yes...I suppose so. Why? What did you get him for Christmas?” Blaine guessed.

“No, it isn't that. I love cold milk, but,” Burt's voice lowered to a conspiratory whisper, “I really detest warm milk. And Kurt brings it to me when he thinks I'm feeling low. It's all I can do to swallow the nasty stuff, but the look that would come to his face if I rejected it – well, let's just say I'd rather choke down the warm milk.”

Blaine laughed and Burt looked over at him.

“Ah, join the club. I hate it, too,” Blaine blushed and Burt hooted with laughter.

“Aha! And you have to live with him!” he said and laughed once more.

Something happened on the game on TV and they were silent for a while, watching and cheering their team on. Blaine wasn't really a big fan of basketball, but he didn't mind watching it if he was with Burt. Somehow Papa Burt just made any game exciting and Blaine was under his spell as he jumped in his seat and shouted in victory when a player made a basket.

“So, how was Kurt when you guys got to the basement?” Burt asked during the next lull in the game.

“He doesn't understand why Carole doesn't want his help. I tried to tell him that she understands her limitations better than anyone and she will either be able to accomplish a task in her own time or she will ask for help. He wants _so badly_ to do things for her, its killing him to watch her struggle with things like lifting the flour canister down from the shelf,” Blaine explained. 

“He'll get used to it. I had a hard time, too. Carole is made of much tougher stuff than you or I, Blaine. She will do things whether we want her to or not, she isn't a quitter in any man's eyes. I have tried repeatedly to tell Kurt that, but its like he doesn't hear me. He is the most stubborn man alive,” Burt huffed. 

Blaine laughed.

“Pot, was that the kettle you were referring to as black?” Blaine asked and Burt rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know I'm stubborn. But Kurt is my kid. He should listen to me,” Burt said. Blaine laughed.

“Are we talking about the same Kurt Hummel here?”

“Okay, point taken,” Burt conceded, taking another bite of the gingerbread and following it with a drink of milk. 

Blaine settled down in the chair a little more after placing his empty plate and glass on the tray.

“He just seems to be taking it so hard. I mean, it is serious, but Carole was diagnosed over a year ago. I would think that Kurt would have come to terms with how to deal with it by now, but every time we come to visit, he's so nervous. He hangs around her like a nursemaid when anyone can clearly see that is the last thing she wants or needs. He tries to anticipate each movement and tries to help her before she's even thought it through. I'm surprised he lets her go into the bathroom by herself,” Blaine said, looking upset.

“Yeah, I've seen how he is. He makes her nervous and then the tension builds and we don't have the relaxing visit we were all anticipating. I thought at first it was just that Kurt is a grown man now and he acts differently, but you're the same age and I don't see a difference in you, Blaine. I'm at a loss to understand it. Have you tried asking him?” Burt queried.

There was a cough in the hallway and both men looked up to see Finn in the doorway.

“Hey, mind if I join you?” he asked and both men nodded. Finn walked in and sat on the sofa.

“We were just talking about Kurt and how he acts around your mom,” Burt said to get Finn up to speed.

“Yeah, I heard you. Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you were talking kinda loud,” he said.

“Is Kurt still in the basement?” Burt asked.

“Yeah, I had to go down to get the leaves for the table and he is still sound asleep. Mom is upstairs in your room napping, too. I walked by your room on my way down,” Finn told the others.

Burt nodded.

“I don't know what to do...its not as if I haven't asked Kurt. He claims he doesn't treat her any different, or he says he's just being polite, but I think its more.”

Burt sighed.

“If you don't mind me sticking my nose in here?” Finn asked, picking up a pillow from the sofa and putting it on his lap, then leaning forward to speak.

“Not at all, if you have any insight, please, spill it,” Blaine said.

“He's afraid, plain and simple. When his mom, when _Elizabeth_ died, he was about eight or nine, right?” Finn asked.

“Yeah, he'd just turned eight years old,” Burt confirmed.

“He knew she was sick, but you wouldn't have been able to explain everything about her condition to him, correct?”

“Well, I told him as much as I thought he could understand, but he was just a little kid,” Burt said, looking at Finn. Blaine adjusted himself in the chair, he was uncomfortable listening to what he thought was a private matter between Burt and Elizabeth.

“He didn't know about T-cells and immunotherapy and PET scans and radiation treatment, did he?” Finn asked, but went on before Burt answered. “So, here's this little kid, watching his mom die inch by inch and there is nothing he can do for her. No matter how many times he brings her cookies or sweeps the floor or gives her kisses, she continues to get worse,” Finn conjectured and looked at Burt who nodded, wondering where Finn was going with this.

“Now, he never really came to terms with his mother's death and I think he still carries some guilt with him. In his head he knows he was a kid and couldn't do anything to change the outcome, but his subconscious isn't rational. Nobody's is,” Finn said, leaning forward, elbows on knees and he touched his fingertips together in a nervous gesture.

“But he knows what is wrong with Carole, we haven't kept anything from you kids. You know that, Finn. You go to her doctor's appointments with us,” Burt said, sounding defensive.

“I know, of course you do, Burt. No, what I'm saying is that Kurt doesn't even know he's doing this. He might be subconsciously replaying Elizabeth's death in his head and trying to compensate. I'm no doctor, but for a while there, Kurt and I were pretty close and we talked about his mom and my dad. I know dead parents is a strange thing to bond over...but well, it was what we had in common. I was a baby when my dad died and I don't remember him, but Kurt remembers a lot,” Finn said, looking at Blaine and Burt. 

“That does make sense, you know,” Blaine agreed. “Who knows how the brain works? I know from experience that it doesn't always make sense. I mean, it doesn't even make much sense in my own head that two separate incidents that lasted less than an hour out of my life have impacted my daily life for years. I can tell myself that I should be able to cope with crowds and things like that, but as soon as I'm in one, I have an anxiety attack. This isn't exactly the same thing, but I think Finn is on to something here,” Blaine said.

“What can we do to fix it then?” Burt asked, a little anxious himself. For years every time Burt got a bit of indigestion Kurt started thinking he was having another heart attack. It made sense that he was somehow reliving Elizabeth's death.

“I think we might tell him?” Finn suggested. “I know if it were me, I'd want to know. I doubt Kurt understands what's going on in his head, and that has to be frightening,” Finn said, looking at the others.

“Who best to tell him then?” Burt asked.

“And should we tell Carole first? She might want to know, because I know she's noticed it,” Burt added.

“How about the MS support group? They might have an idea?” Finn said, thinking about how much it had helped him understand his mother's condition.

“Okay, I think I will go and talk to him first, okay with you two?” Blaine asked. He knew how it could be overwhelming if too many people came at you all at once to try to fix you. It made things so much worse.

“Yeah, I think that would be best, Blaine, he trusts you and you know him better than anyone,” Burt said, surprising Blaine. He would have bet money Burt would want to do it himself.

“I'll go now. Just bring it up and see where it goes. I don't want to make him feel bad, you know?” he says in a soft voice.

Burt got up and walked over to Blaine's chair where he pushed in the footrest to stand. Taking Blaine's hand, he helped him up and hugged him close.

“Thank you, Blaine. Honestly, I don't know what Kurt would do without you in his life. I thank my lucky stars for the day Kurt brought you over to meet me and we waited for your brother under the trees,” Burt said placing a kiss on his head before letting go.

“It was a damned lucky day for me, too, Papa Burt,” Blaine grins back and leaves the room, giving Finn a playful punch to the shoulder as he walked by.

 

~*~

 

After dinner, Finn and Rachel cleared the dishes. She often came over to see Finn while she was home visiting her dads. Carole and Burt headed to the den to watch a little television before going to bed, they both had work in the morning. Carole was back at the hospital, still doing nursing duty but her hours were shorter and the hospital changed some things to accommodate her handicaps. 

“Hey, Kurt, want to go for a walk with me? Its snowing outside and the night is beautiful! I think if we bundle up it won't be too cold,” Blaine asked, kissing his cheek. “Besides, I'm dying to see you in your new herringbone lambswool coat, baby,” Blaine cooed, nuzzling his face into Kurt's neck and breathing warmth into his shirt. Kurt giggled and blushed as he saw his father walk by on his way to the kitchen. 

“Blaine...not here,” Kurt blushed, his voice a little deeper than usual, a fact that Blaine picked up on right away and pushed closer to Kurt, so close he could feel the hardness in his jeans.

“Ah, Kurt honey, I'm pretty sure Papa Burt knows we have sex. He's the one that sent condoms and lube with us on our camping trip when we were _sixteen_ ,” Blaine laughed, his breath tickling Kurt's neck and making him giggle again.

Kurt put on his new coat, straightening the collar and preening in the mirror while Blaine put on the leather pea coat with rabbit skin lining with the matching gloves that Kurt got him for his birthday. 

“You look so great in that coat, Blaine, I love it on you, “ Kurt smiled.

“Thank you, sir, you look great, too,” Blaine laughed and they leave, arm in arm, to walk along the street.

Its quiet outside, the snow gently falling in big flakes that float through the dark night, but its a full moon and that's enough to light their way to the park four blocks away. Not in any hurry, the two of them chat about the weather, what they hope to get for Christmas, what they want to do for New Year's Eve. 

“It was good to see Rachel so happy,” Blaine ventures, wondering how to introduce the subject of Carole.

“She is so over the moon in love with Finn, I don't see how he doesn't know it!” Kurt says, turning to Blaine.

“Oh, I think he knows it, he's just scared. He still has two more years of college, then grad school for another...what? Four years? To get his license as a psychologist?” Blaine says, defending Finn, who is like a brother to him, too.

“I don't know if Rachel will wait that long. She has a short attention span,” Kurt replies, grinning. He pulls Blaine a little closer as they reach the park and he steals a kiss.

“She has ambition, though. She is one girl that gets her eye on something and then goes after it until she gets it. My money is on Rachel,” Blaine confesses and Kurt grins, nodding his head in agreement.

They walk over to the swings and Kurt dusts the snow off one for Blaine to sit. He dusts his own and sits the other direction so they can talk.

“Did you want to talk to me, Blaine?” Kurt says immediately, giving him his full attention.

“You know me too well, baby,” Blaine says, moving his feet so the swing is gently swaying.

“Well?”

“It's about Carole. And you,” Blaine says, then watches to see Kurt's reaction. He wants to tread lightly.

“Oh, no...is there worse news, Blaine? Why didn't Dad...”

Blaine reaches over and touches Kurt's lips with his gloved finger.

“No, there is nothing new. No, its about how you are around her. I know when we come to visit you want to help her, and don't get me wrong – there is nothing wrong in that. But, you are not helping. Its more like you try to do things she can do, would rather do, by herself. Kurt, she is not completely disabled. You understand that, don't you?”

“Well, yes, of course. But if I can take some of the burden of having guests out of her hands, that's only right -isn't it?” Kurt defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Oh, Kurt...I'm not criticizing you, I'm pointing out something I don't think you can see. Carole _needs_ to do those things. She needs to feel needed, she needs to know she is still the person she was before she got sick. Don't take that away from her,” Blaine says softly, pulling the chain of Kurt's swing closer to his.

“Is that what I'm doing? Oh...Blaine, I never meant to hurt her! Why didn't somebody tell me? Honestly, I just wanted to do things to help,” Kurt put his hands to his face for a moment.

Blaine got out of his swing and took Kurt's hand, walking over to a bench under the pine trees. It was cooler there, but there wasn't an snow on the bench.

“Sit down, baby,” he coaxed and Kurt sat. Blaine sat very close and took Kurt in his arms. “Kurt, we talked about it tonight – your dad and Finn and I – while you were sleeping.”

“You talked about me while I was sleeping?” Kurt's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and the muscles in his back stiffened.

“Only because your actions confused us, only because we all care about you. I won't keep any of what we said from you – and neither will Papa or Finn. We were worried and it just came out,” Blaine assured his lover. 

“What did you say?” Kurt asked, looking as if he really didn't want to know.

“Finn thinks the reason you are doting on Carole so much is because you're compensating for not being able to help your own mom,” Blaine started.

“Carole is my own mom,” Kurt looked at Blaine, then his eyes got big. “Oh...”

“Yes, Elizabeth. Your mother. He thinks you might be thinking of her subconsciously and that's why you are trying too hard – because you weren't able to help Elizabeth,” Blaine said, taking off his gloves and rubbing his hands together.

“But...none of you knew my real mother, not you, not Finn. Only Dad did. What did he say?” Kurt asked.

“He agreed. He told us that you were too young to understand her treatments and why she was in bed all the time, or all of the jargon you probably heard. To a little kid, that had to have been scary...and confusing. How well do you remember it?” 

“Not very well. I do recall bits and pieces, like dancing with her in the hospital room, things like that. I remember trying to make her jello because that was all she could eat for a while, but I didn't know you had to put the hot water in first. I put in just cold water and set it in the refrigerator. I cried when it wasn't jello by dinner time. She tried to just drink it, but she got sick and threw it all up. I felt like a failure,” Kurt said softly. “Funny, I haven't thought of that in so many years.”

Kurt's eyes were red and Blaine was feeling bad for reminding Kurt of such a sad time. He pulled his boyfriend up onto his lap and opened his own jacket, pulling Kurt into his chest to keep him warm. It wasn't really that cold, but the gesture made Kurt feel better.

“Oh, baby, I'm so, so sorry. I know she appreciated it. She must have felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have you and Papa Burt. And I think she was,” Blaine smiled a little, hoping his words might make up for making Kurt remember a sad time.

“She knew, I told her how lucky I was to have her. I would go into her room as soon as I got home from school and she would ask me what I did that day. I'd tell her and she would ask me to sing with her. She loved to sing “You Are the Sunshine Of My Life”. We sang it together.

“But I wasn't much help. I couldn't cook dinner or wash dishes. I'd get the foot stool out and put it by the sink and try to wash them, but later Dad would come back and wash them again because the water hadn't been hot enough to get the grease off. I didn't know you couldn't put pans in with glasses and things like that. I'd try to scrub the floor and kick over the pail, making a worse mess. One day Mom was sleeping when I did that and she woke up when I was crying. She came in and saw the mess and cleaned it up before Dad got home. She had to go to the hospital that night and I thought it was my fault,” Kurt said in a choked voice.

“Oh, Kurt, you know it wasn't, it was probably just that she was getting sicker, right?” Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's back as he cried and told Blaine story after story of his mother's last weeks of life.

“I know it wasn't my fault, I know I was little, but I wasn't an infant. I knew enough that she was going to die before Dad told me. This sounds weird, but we had an old dog, Andy, and he died the year before my mom got sick. I kept thinking of Andy, the way he got slower and then snapped at me when I leaned against him one day. Mom told me he hurt and I had to be careful how I played with him. Then Dad took him into the vet and came home without him. He explained that he had died.

Well, when Mom started to pull back and say ouch when I climbed into her lap, I remembered the dog and I knew she was going to die before they ever told me,” Kurt said. “And I thought it was my fault.”

“I tried so hard to be good, to be helpful so mommy could rest, but I was just not able to, no matter what,” Kurt said, putting his arms back around Blaine. Blaine held him close, just allowing him to cry and get it out. He kissed his temple and ran a finger down his cheek. He got out his monogrammed hankie that Kurt had made for him last Christmas and dried his tears over and over until the hankie was damp.

“Oh, my god, I miss her, Blaine. I miss her so much. I want her back, but I know that can never happen. It was so hard to let Carole into my life, and when I finally did she somehow helped heal what was broken inside of me. I mean, she never took the place of Mom, but she made her own place in my heart. I don't want to lose her, too.”

“Kurt, Carole isn't going to die like your mom did. She does have a serious illness, but it is not fatal. She has some hard work in front of her, honey, but she's up to the task. I promise you, we would tell you if she was sicker than that. Do you understand?” Blaine asked, softly kissing Kurt's neck and holding him close.

“Y-y-yes. Maybe Finn was right, maybe it was like losing Mommy again. I didn't mean to be so annoying, I just honestly wanted to help,” Kurt admitted, his arms under Blaine's coat holding tight to his back. He sighed and relaxed into Blaine's embrace.

“Do you feel any better, or did I just tear the scab off an already painful sore?” Blaine asked, worried he had gone too far.

“I do feel better. You were so sweet to listen to me reminisce. I do miss her, but talking about Mom has always been good for me. I like to remember her and I can't talk about her to Dad, he gets melancholy for days. Thank you, my wonderful Blaine. You really are my soulmate. Thank you,” Kurt closed his eyes for a moment.

“You know, I have a memory of Mom from before she was sick. Well, before I knew she was sick anyway. We would go out when it first snowed and make angels. Do you want to make snow angels with me?” Kurt asked, his eyes shining and a bit of fear that his idea would be rejected. 

“Of course I will!” Blaine agreed. He would have done it naked if Kurt had asked. He wanted Kurt to laugh again, or at least to lose that sad, hurt, abandoned look from his face.

They walked careful out to the middle of the baseball field and lay down near each other in the new fallen snow. They were close enough to touch hands and they moved arms and legs to make the angels, then got up gingerly to keep the angels' shape. Blaine took Kurt's hand and they tiptoed back to the sidewalk, looking back to see the angels in the sparkling snow.

“Goodnight, Elizabeth,” said Blaine, taking Kurt's hand and walking towards home. Kurt didn't notice when Blaine slipped out his phone and took a picture of the moon shining down on the sparkling snow angels, holding hands.

“Goodnight, Mommy,” whispered Kurt as they left the park.

 

~*~

Kurt was tiptoeing up the stairs to the kitchen quiet as he could be when he heard a noise behind him, a tapping. He turned around and there was Princess, her long tail thumping on the wall as she followed him up the stairs.

“Shhh...c'mon, girl, I'll let you out to play in the snow,” he whispered as the big red dog pushed past him to the back door. He opened it, watching her rush forward and stop dead in the middle of the yard, looking around her at the white cold stuff. She did this every time it snowed, just stood and looked as if she was experiencing it for the first time. Kurt knew she must remember it, the dog was seven years old. Maybe she just liked the feel of it? 

He waited, knowing what was coming next. He had a lot to do before the family woke up, but this was just amazing to watch, so he stood in the doorway, letting in all the cold air as he watched Princess. First, she barked at the flakes falling from the sky. She tried to catch them in her mouth, but seemed confused when they melted. Then she put her nose under the crust of snow and ran all over the yard, shoveling piles of snow in front of her. Neither Kurt nor Blaine ever understood why she did that, but she did it every time it first snowed. 

 

 

Kurt's toes were beginning to get cold. He didn't want to rummage around in the closet for his slippers, so he'd come upstairs with two pairs of wool socks on instead. Unfortunately, he'd stepped in the snow that blew in when he opened the door, so the socks were now wet. He gave a sneer at the wet floor and took off the socks, depositing them in the drier for a few turns until they were dry and warm.

Princess indicated she was done with her morning ritual and barked once to be let in, then gave Kurt an undignified look as he shut her in the laundry room to lie on her pile of burlap sacks until she was dry and could be allowed back in. Blaine never did that, but Kurt knew he let her on the bed and he didn't want wet spots.

 

Next on the agenda was to do something about his freezing feet. He hummed “Popsicle Toes” as he made his way back to the kitchen to the laundry room to retrieve his socks. Princess got up, wagging her tail and he felt her feet and coat to make sure she was dry.

“Okay, girl, go find your man,” he laughed as Princess skittered in the slick hallway floor on her way to snuggle with Blaine. 

 

His toes now toasty warm, Kurt had a smile on his face. He decided to make cinnamon rolls and some bacon, sausage, hash browns, and eggs for Christmas breakfast. It was barely past 5 a.m., so there was plenty of time before anyone would come down to search out food. Kurt loved to bake, it was so rewarding if he kept exactly to the rules and he could add his own twists now that he understood how ingredients worked. It was almost like chemistry class, and he had loved chemistry.

Getting the ingredients and tools out of the cupboards and drawers, he made enough noise that he didn't hear someone coming into the kitchen until he felt a warm arm sneak around his waist and hugged him from the back.

“Carole! Oh, I didn't mean to wake you...” he apologized. 

“You didn't. I'm often up at this hour. I was dreaming about the first Christmas I was with your dad, and I'm sorry I woke up. It was wonderful,” she smiled. Leaning on a crutch, she made her way to the counter to see what was going on.

“Oh! You're making cinnamon rolls. I love your rolls, Kurt. It wouldn't be Christmas without them you know,” she smiled at Kurt, hoping that being in the kitchen with him wouldn't make him uncomfortable. It had been hard to connect with him since she got sick, though she didn't understand why.

“Can I help? I could make the cinnamon filling, maybe?” she offered as Kurt measured the warm water, taking its temperature to be sure the yeast would raise the right amount.

“Sure, if you want to cream the butter, I'll get the sugar and cinnamon out,” he smiled at his step-mother. No matter that he was uncomfortable with her, he did love her deeply and liked being around her.

They worked together, Kurt mixing the dough, Carole making short work of the filling and then making coffee.

When it was time to knead the dough, Kurt looked down at it, sitting on the marble countertop with a dusting of flour over it.

“Can you knead dough?” he asked, wondering just what her limitations were.

“Probably not today. The muscles are not working at their best with the weather change. Your dad got me one of those machines that has a dough hook, so I can still make bread but it isn't the same. I used to love doing it, getting my stress out doing the hard work of kneading, then the anticipation of the soft bread with a thick crust, warm out of the oven. I do miss that so much,” she sounded sad and Kurt put a quick arm around her, pulling her close before folding her into his chest and giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

“I'm sorry, Carole. Is there anything they can do?” he asked, knowing there probably wasn't. They were already doing what they could, but there was no cure – just treatment of the symptoms.

“Now, don't go feeling sorry for me, Kurt Hummel. I live in Disneyland compared to most people in this world. I still have my job, I can dress myself and eat and almost everything I could ever do. I can't play the piano, though,” she looked at Kurt with sad eyes.

“Oh, why not? Is it because of the muscle weakness?” he asked, ideas running through his head as to how to find a way to help.

“Because I never learned, silly,” she giggled. “I couldn't play before I got sick, either...”

Kurt stood still a moment, then realized she had set him up for one of the oldest jokes in the book.

“Carole! That was....was...so unfair. I was so sad and...you tricked me,” he said, grinning from ear to ear to hear Carole giggle once more. It had been since before she was diagnosed that he had heard her giggle like that. The smile on his face couldn't be beat.

“Hey, this dough isn't going to knead itself, I best get going or the house will be filled with hungry giants wanting their Christmas Cinnamon rolls and there won't be any!”

He quickly got down to business, pushing on the dough, folding it and pressing down again, over and over until it felt right. Kurt was daydreaming as he usually did when kneading dough, thinking of his grandmother and how she had taught him to do this after his mother died. She let him experiment and make anything he wanted in the kitchen. He learned to knead dough when he was nine years old and it always made him feel warm and happy, thinking of his grandmother. Blaine had learned, too, since he was always around. Grandma Hummel just embraced Blaine like one of her family and he was swept along with whatever Kurt was doing.

After she passed away, the kitchen was a place of sadness. The avocado colored gingham curtains with lace around the hems, the old enameled metal table that had been Grandma's aunt's had stood in the corner with the harvest gold chairs, even the dish towels that Kurt and Blaine had embroidered with little scottie dogs doing chores were sad. 

Kurt remembered with great fondness the day Blaine had shown up with Cooper in tow, cans of paint and bags of fabric in their hands. They had helped Kurt remove everything from the kitchen and painted it a robin's egg blue. Coop hired a few of his friends to put in new cabinets and relay the floor in a black and white tile checkerboard design. The perfect thing that topped it all was the cherry-red sink they installed in the white marble counter top. With stainless steel appliances and some other new touches, it was transformed into a modern kitchen that was the joy of Kurt's life for quite a while.

Now, it had new curtains at the windows and a few new things, but Carole had loved it and kept it mostly the same as when Kurt had been there.

“I just need to let this rise again and then we can roll it out,” Kurt smiled. 

Carole sat at the table – it was still the old enameled metal table from the old aunt's circa 1930's kitchen – and sipped her coffee. She pushed out a chair with her right foot and nodded for Kurt to sit.

“Okay, when the rolls are out, we can get the ham in the oven. We are making...what?” Carole looked up at Kurt and he imagine a touch of panic in her gaze.

“Carole? Are you okay?”

“Yeah...its just that sometimes my mind isn't what it used to be. I have problems with my memory. I know we had the menu all planned, but now all I can remember is the ham, and I can't remember how we were going to cook it,” she said, a tinge of something like regret and anger in her voice.

“I think we were going to mix mustard with jelly and paint it on the ham – you know, like my grandma made. Then sweet potatoes, dinner rolls, corn, green beans the way Blaine likes them, and....oh! And the pineapple your grandmother made. I think that's it. Here, I'll go get the list. Its a good thing we made the pies yesterday, or we'd be overwhelmed,” Kurt smiled, patting Carole's hand before getting the list she wrote.

“I forgot, the relish tray. Olives, pickles, things like that. Okay, let's get busy with breakfast before starting the ham,” she was back on track and the moment of fear was over, just as fast as it started. Kurt wondered how often that happened, and if it was caused by the illness or the medication.

 

~*~

“My son has been making magic in my kitchen once more!” Burt said, grinning from ear to ear as he walked into the dining room. 

“There is nothing like Kurt's cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Hurry up, Anderson, or I'm eating yours!” Finn called down the basement stairs, but was answered by a voice from the kitchen.

“I've already had one, Finn, so you better catch up,” he grinned into Finn's face as they went into the dining room for breakfast.

Cooper arrived, having gone to pick up Rachel to join in the breakfast and presents.

It was all eaten in a hurry, plates of fried green tomatoes, sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs laced with cheddar cheese, and warm cinnamon rolls were placed everywhere on the table. Rachel had arrived just a little while ago, bringing her special mix of “Friendship Tea” and a crumb-topped coffee cake to add to the meal. She loved the tomatoes, something she claimed to have never eaten (Kurt fried them in vegetable oil instead of the usual bacon grease just to make her happy). 

 

After breakfast, they all went to the den to sit and talk for a while, digesting the huge meal.

“I think the youngest should pass out the presents,” Burt decreed and smiled at Rachel.

“Me? I think Blaine is younger, isn't he?” she asked, but Blaine denied it. It turned out, after a show of drivers' licenses, that Rachel was indeed the youngest and she walked to the tree.

“How do I do this?” she asked and everyone told her their own family tradition, except it was all at once and she stamped her foot.

“I will just do it the way I want to, this is ridiculous!”

“You go, girl,” Kurt said, laughing.

“The first one is for you, Finn,” she said as he took the long cylindrical package and read the gift tag. It was from Burt. Finn opened the package to find a new fishing pole, complete with flies, spinners, line, and all the accessories he needed.

“Thanks, Burt, now I won't have to borrow yours,” he grinned. 

And so it went along, Burt getting new jeans and shirts, some tickets to games. Together he and Carole got a picture of Kurt, Finn, Cooper, and Blaine taken at a photography studio in New York. It was signed, “Your Boys” . Burt had to blink several times and pretend to clear his throat while Carole just cried, Burt's handkerchief in hand.

So it went, each person getting sentimental or practical gifts, some very special, some not so much. It was finally down to the last two presents. Both were wrapped in silver paper. 

“Oh, give Kurt his next,” Blaine asked Rachel, a whisper in her ear. She got out the large present and placed it on Kurt's lap. He took off the paper very meticulously, saving the red bow. Inside he found a drawing. Blaine had taken a picture the night they made the snow angels in the park, then drew a picture of them holding hands and making the snow angels in the new fallen powder in the park at midnight. Kurt smiled and tears were in his eyes as he threw his arms around Blaine. 

“This was from the other night! When did you have time to draw it?” he asked, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Well, when you went shopping with Mercedes and Tina, I knew you'd be gone for hours,” Blaine kidded, a soft smile on his face. Kurt leaned over and kissed those soft lips, loving Blaine more all the time. 

“Last present, “ Rachel announced, placing the package on Finn's lap. He took the paper off, then turned over the frame. There was a drawing of his father, Christopher, holding him when he was a baby. His mother was sitting on the arm of the chair and smiling down on her two boys. Finn recognized the picture he kept in his wallet, a torn and battered photograph of his father. Blaine had taken that image and drawn it into a large picture to hang on the wall, and added Carole to it to make it a family portrait.

“I know it isn't like the original photo, so I hope you don't mind I used a bit of artistic license to make it diff......” Blaine started to explain, but he was met with Finn's arms wrapped around him as the large man let tears fall down his cheeks.

“Oh, my god, Blaine. This is the best present I've ever gotten...you brought my dad back to me. That is the only picture I had of him. And now....” words failed Finn as he held his brother tightly. He finally relaxed enough for Blaine to wriggle out of his embrace.

“I;m glad you liked it,” he smiled, patting Finn on the back before sitting back on the sofa with Kurt. Kurt had tears in his eyes, and took Blaine's hand in his, once more giving him a soft kiss.

“You are the best, Blaine. Thank you for me and thank you for making Finn so happy, for giving him back his dad in the best way possible,” he whispered so only Blaine could hear.

 

After presents, the guys turned on a movie and the others went into the kitchen to make dinner. 

“I don't know how I”ll be able to eat a bite of dinner after that breakfast!” Rachel said, putting a hand to her perfectly flat tummy. 

“Which way are we making the ham this year?” Blaine asked. “Like Grandma?”

Carole smiled. “Yes. I love that recipe and I think my grandmother made it that way, too,” she said, putting her hand up to cup Blaine's cheek and placing a kiss there.

Kurt got out the mustard, yellow French's not the fancier kind. He rooted through the cupboard, then went out to the pantry to find a jar of the chokecherry jelly he and Blaine had made after a chance find of ripe bushes in the woods last summer. He mixed them half and half in a bowl and painted a thick layer over the ham that had been cooking for an hour already. He added the second half of the can of 7-up to the bottom of the roasting pan and put it back in the oven.

Carole washed the sweet potatoes and buttered the skins, poking holes with a fork so they wouldn't burst. Blaine grinned as he looked over to see the cans of green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and canned onion rings sitting out.

“Honestly, Blaine, how can you eat that...ah...stuff?” Kurt asked as Cooper strolled into the room.

Coop looked at the array of cans on the counter and grinned.

“Its been his favorite since we were little kids. How can you possibly have a holiday without green bean casserole?” Coop asked, bumping fists with Blaine. Kurt rolled his eyes and licked his lips, thinking better of trying once more to convince Blaine that the casserole was unhealthy and lacked whimsy and style. They had been having this argument since Kurt and Blaine were ten years old. If the truth were told, Blaine would actually rather eat fresh green beans with a bit of bacon and almonds sprinkled over it, but this casserole was a piece of nostalgia from when he remembered peace in his house, so he clung to it with all his might. He just never felt like he could tell Kurt that – as if would betray all the years of love and caring the Hummels had poured into his heart. He blinked his eyes and cleared his throat, turning to speak to Carole to hide his face from Kurt.

“Would you like Cooper and I to set the dining room table now?” he offered and she nodded yes, counting in her head the number of tablespoons of cornstarch she was putting in the pineapple juice for the side dish.

“Use the green linen tablecloth and the white napkins,” Kurt called out as the Anderson brothers left the room.

 

~*~

Dinned was over. There was enough food left over to feed an army, but Carole knew it wouldn't last until Thursday because the boys would all be down here, all hours of the day and night, getting snacks until it was all gone but the ham bone. Well, at least she could use that for the bean soup for New Year's dinner. 

 

Burt and Cooper had volunteered to clear the table and wash the dishes, Finn and Rachel had left for her fathers' house to visit for a while, and Kurt had taken Blaine by the hand and disappeared out the door, dressed for a winter storm in spite of the slightly milder weather.

 

“Wow, was that wonderful! I love Christmas dinner,” Blaine smiled, patting his stomach as he looked over at Kurt. “You outdid yourself, baby.”

“Thank you, I'm glad you liked it,” Kurt said, blushing just a bit. He knew he was capable of cooking a good meal, but he sometimes had his doubts that it was as good as what Blaine had been used to as a kid. His parents had a gourmet cook, Hilda, who fed Blaine things like croque-monsieur when all Kurt and the rest of the kids usually had for lunch was a peanut butter and jelly. 

“You know I love anything you cook, Kurt,” he said, scooting closer to Kurt on the truck's bench seat. Kurt put his arm around Blaine and Blaine took over shifting. They drove to the edge of town, stopping in a hilly part of the forest near where they had picnics in the summer.

“Kurt, don't you think its a bit cold for a picnic? Plus, we just finished dinner. So, care to let me in on the surprise?” Blaine smiled, kissing Kurt on the corner of those luscious lips. 

“What makes you think there's a surprise for you?” Kurt asked, his eyebrows unnaturally high. 

“Come on, Kurt..” Blaine coaxed, running his fingers over Kurt's leg, drawing circles that were beginning to reach Kurt's inner thigh. Kurt shivered, and it wasn't the cold. 

“Hey, none of that...yet, anyway,” Kurt smiled. He would certainly entertain that thought later this evening.

Kurt got out and walked around to the bed of his dad's truck. Opening the tailgate, he jumped up into the bed and uncovered Blaine's present. Blaine just stood there, the biggest grin on his face.

“You got me a sled?” he asked foolishly since it was obviously a sled. 

Kurt pulled the tarp off of it and helped Blaine get it down. There was a big red ribbon tied around it and the words 'Radio Flyer' painted in red letters on the wooden body of the sled.

“I always wanted one of those...how did you know?” he asked, throwing his arms around Kurt and kissing his cheek.

“Oh, a tiny bird told me...” Kurt smiled. This was even better than he thought it would be.

“Cooper!” he yelled, but Kurt shook his head from side to side.

“Nope,” he said, crossing his arms.

“You're kidding...nobody else knew,” Blaine said with a question on his face. Then the realization hit. “Did you call my dad to ask him?” Blaine looked dumbfounded. Kurt just did not call his father. 

“Actually, _I_ called _him_ ,” a voice said from the car that had been sitting down farther in the parking lot. Blaine's face went white, then red, but he didn't say a word. He just stood there, staring at the man that got out of his car, dressed for the weather in warm clothes and coat with mittens and a scarf. He smiled at Blaine.

“I thought since I never got you one when you were a kid, I would get you one now. I hope it isn't too late?” Palmer Anderson put out his arms and Blaine rushed into them. Kurt stood back, watching as his boyfriend got an amazing present. His dad.

They took turns sliding down the steep hill on the other side of the parking lot, steering to keep from hitting the few trees that were scattered across the landscape. They laughed and danced around to keep warm until Palmer got tired and went to sit in his car to warm up while Kurt and Blaine sat on the sled together, sliding down the slippery snow and colliding with a snow bank at the bottom.

“I'm about done, Blaine. How about we take your dad back to our house for hot cocoa?” Kurt asked, limping slightly as he took the rope to help Blaine pull the sled up the hill for the last time.

“I'd love that, Kurt. Thank you, baby,” he said, stopping to take his friend into his arms and kissing him deeply, their bodies gravitating towards each other. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, until they thought about Mr. Anderson sitting in the car, probably cold and waiting for them. They broke apart slowly, picking up the rope once again and getting to the top of the hill just as Palmer opened his car door.

What they didn't notice was that Palmer had been watching them slide down together, so happy to see Blaine enjoying himself. He knew he had not been a good father to either Blaine or Cooper, but maybe he could make up for lost time. He needed to talk to the boys...no, they weren't boys any more. They were men now. Palmer smiled as he saw Blaine and Kurt stop to kiss, then linger together, wrapped up in each other they has no idea he was watching them. A few years ago it might have upset him to see his son kissing another man, but now he had made the effort to educate himself and with Burt Hummel's help he was accepting of who his son was. He was suddenly overjoyed that his son loved someone that much and more because Kurt loved Blaine back.

He smiled and walked back to the car to wait for them to remember where they were and come back.

“Dad, would you like to come back home with us and have some hot cocoa?” Blaine asked his father, anticipation in his eyes but also the fear of rejection. That hurt, but Palmer Anderson knew he had no one to blame but himself.

“Are you sure I wouldn't be intruding?” he asked, looking from Blaine to Kurt.

“Of course not, its Christmas! Please come home with us and we'll make something warm to have with the pies,” Kurt invited him

“Okay, if you're sure I'm not intruding,” he said, smiling at Kurt.

 

~*~

“Dad, guess who we found out sledding?” Kurt said to Burt as soon as he walked in the door.

“Palmer Anderson?” Burt asked, a twinkle in his eye. 

“How did you guess that?” Kurt asked, astonished that his father knew.

“Because he sent me a text letting me know the three of you were on your way, kiddo,” Burt grinned. Kurt rolled his eyes.

Blaine came in the door, shaking the snow off just before he entered. His father was right behind. 

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Palmer said as soon as he walked in. Kurt helped him off with his coat and took his things to be hung up on the halltree.

Everyone was soon gathered around the fireplace in the den, eating pie. Kurt, Carole, and Blaine had made half a dozen pies: cherry, blueberry, mincemeat, pecan, pumpkin, and coconut cream. It may have seemed like a lot, but Carole knew it would be gone just as fast as the Christmas dinner leftovers. She hadn't felt well enough to bake cookies this year, so when Kurt offered to bake pies, she took him up on the offer. It was hard adjusting to living with MS, but she was learning to accept help when she needed it.

Palmer strolled out to the kitchen when he saw Burt get up to head there. He brought his plate and cup with him as an excuse and followed Burt.

“Can I ask you something?” Palmer said, making sure he and Burt were alone as he set his dishes in the sink.

“Sure, what's up?”

“I need to talk to Blaine and Cooper. I have to tell them that Phoebe and I are getting divorced. I know Christmas isn't the ideal time for such news, but I'm leaving in two days for California to get the final paperwork done. Do you think I can maybe borrow them from you tomorrow? I know it's hard to part Blaine from Kurt, and I don't want to get in an argument with him, but I would like to tell him with just Cooper there.”

“Okay. I'm sorry, Palmer, that's a hard blow to take after how many years?” Burt asked.

“Thirty two. It has been coming for a long time, Burt. I'm not sad about it, and I doubt the boys are, either. I don't even know if they'll care. I do owe it to them to tell them in person, however,” Palmer said. 

“No problem. I can ask Kurt to come with me to the shop. Blaine and Cooper are both staying here, Finn will be working tomorrow as will Carole, so if you want you can speak to them here. If you think its the right place?” Burt offered.

“That will do just fine. As you might know, we closed up our house in Westerville a few years ago when Blaine left so I'm staying in a hotel downtown. Kurt helped me surprise Blaine for Christmas with the sled,” Palmer grinned for just a second and Burt thought he looked like a little kid.

 

~*~

 

“Why do you have to work today, Kurt? I want to just stay in bed with you and cuddle,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt back under the sheets.

“Because Dad asked me to. Be thankful he didn't ask you.”

“You don't have to be there for hours yet...just a little more snuggling? Please?” Blaine begged, slipping his fingers under the waistband of Kurt's pajamas. Kurt hesitated. It really didn't make sense to shower just to get dirty under a car changing oil, did it? He looked over a the clock. It said 6:15. His dad never left until 7:00 to open the shop at 7:30. 

“Okay, baby...I'll stay, but we can't do anything because I don't have time to shower. But I'd love a cuddle,” Kurt said, closing his eyes as Blaine's lips started exploring his neck. Kurt let out a sigh, scooting closer to Blaine and stroking his sides, pulling him so they were touching from chest to thighs. Blaine was already hard, rocking back and forth against Kurt as he licked behind his ear and moaned a little.

Kurt was well on his way to being as hard as Blaine. Enjoying the feel of naked Blaine against him, the warm skin and loving embrace, the sweet talk and kisses. He had just shimmied out of his pajama pants to slide his cock next to Blaine's when he heard a cough from outside the blankets. He jumped out of his skin and pulled the blanket down just enough to see over the hem. Burt was standing there, hands on hips and his toe tapping.

“Kurt. You know we leave the house at seven sharp. Why are you still in bed...?” Burt said, then noticed the rhythmic movements under the blankets.

“Anderson!” 

Blaine froze, Kurt's cock in his hand as Kurt tried to make him let go without appearing to struggle. His dad had eyes like a hawk. Blaine put out his tongue and licked the tip of Kurt's cock, giggling silently as Kurt stiffened and coughed to smother a moan.

Blaine made his way to the edge of the blanket, looking over at Burt as if he had been asleep.

“Yes?”

Burt ignored him.

“What are you still doing in bed?” Burt asked again.

“But Dad, it's only 6:30. I have forty-five minutes...” Kurt said, looking at his alarm clock. He felt Blaine shake with smothered laughter and picked up his cell from his bedside table, turning it on to see what time it was. The cell said 6:52. 

“Blaine!” he shouted and Blaine disappeared back under the covers, never once letting go of Kurt's cock. “Did you change the time on the clock? Blaine!”

Burt smirked, turning to leave the room.

“Kurt, I expect you to be at the garage by eight sharp, ready to work. There's a jeep carburetor waiting with your name on it, no excuses,” Burt said and closed the door behind him. Loudly. Blaine was about to get some unhappy news, no matter how far apart he was from his parents, he deserved something nice in his life. He tried not to think too hard on what exactly that nice thing consisted of.

“Blaine, I cannot believe you did that! You knew my dad would be down here, huffing and puffing to blow the house down. What the hell were you thinking?” Kurt admonished, surprised that Blaine would risk making Burt angry. 

Blaine just smiled at Kurt, reaching up to kiss him, then scooting back under the sheets, saying something as he went. Kurt thought he heard something about 'he said blow!' just before he felt Blaine's mouth close over his cock and swallow.

 

It was almost half an hour before they came up for air, Kurt checking the time on his cell phone before grabbing the lube bottle and disappearing back under the covers. They got up just in time to get in a nice hot, if short, shower and Kurt was on the job, cleaning the carburetor before the clock struck eight.

When he was done, Kurt walked over to the office, knocking once before stepping into Burt's sanctuary.

“Want to tell me why I had to be here to help today when the only car in the whole garage was the jeep – and the owner isn't due to come pick it up until January seventh because he's on a cruise?” Kurt asked, throwing himself down in the old armchair that sat in the corner.

“Nope.”

“Aw, come on, Dad. I know something's up. You asked Cooper to go over your financial records today. You never do that until February at the earliest. You know I'm going to find out in the end, just tell me what's up, maybe I can help?” Kurt asked.

“Okay. Palmer Anderson came to me last night. He's staying at a hotel because he wanted to see the boys for Christmas. He came to town to tell them he's getting a divorce, but he didn't want to tell them on Christmas,” Burt said, watching Kurt.

“Oh. Well, I'm surprised they stayed together for this long. And it isn't exactly going to rock Blaine's world – she never contacts him anyway. I will see if I can help, though. I feel bad for Palmer in some ways, but mostly I'd think he would be relieved.”

“Well, he didn't say either one way or the other, just that he owed it to his sons to tell them in person,” Burt said. “He planned to be there around nine, so I'll close up about noon and we can head home. Just...be there for Blaine if he needs it. I think that's all I can say.”

  
“I'll always be there for Blaine, Dad. I love him....more than anything,” Kurt said, ending in a whisper as he thought about how much he did love Blaine. He could not imagine a day would ever come when he didn't need Blaine in his life.

“I know you will, Kurt. And the best thing about that? He thinks the same of you. You are one lucky man,” Burt said, brushing a tear from Kurt's cheek before hugging his son. They got into the truck to drive home. 


	14. Twenty-Three Years Old

**Back in New York**

  


“Ahhh...back in the lap of luxury, Kurt, how was Christmas?” Seb asked.

  


“It was great seeing the folks. Carole is doing well. Finn and Rachel are still dancing around each other, neither brave enough to make a commitment. Burt walked in on Blaine giving me a blowjob, and Blaine's parents got divorced. How was your Christmas?” Kurt asked.

  


Sebastian sat there a bit stunned, staring at Kurt.

  


“Way to bury the headline, Hummel. Let me get this straight: B _urt Hummel_ walked in on Blaine giving his baby boy a _blowjob_ \--and Blaine's still _standing_? Wait....where is he? Do I need to send flowers?” Seb smirked.

  


Blaine walked in the door to the apartment, suitcases in hand. He looked tired and happy.

  


“Let's just say...he thought I needed cheering up,” Blaine said, smiling at Kurt.

  


“I still don't know why you didn't come with us, Sebbie. We had a great time. Kurt and my dad got me a sled for Christmas! We went sledding every day on the hills over by Eisenhower Park. It was great.”

  


“Glad to hear it. I found a wonderful, lonely boy and we spent the holidays celebrating. You might want to avoid the sofa in the lounge until I get someone in to clean it, though,” Seb said, his trademark smirk a welcome sight. They had both missed Sebastian and his snark was like home now.

  


“Hey, Seb, can you help bring that last suitcase into our bedroom, if you don't mind,” Kurt called in from his room. After a small complaint, he heard Seb walking towards the room. Just as he turned the corner to the doorway, both Kurt and Blaine ambushed him, throwing their arms around him and smothering him with little kisses all over his face.

  


“What.....what's this all about?” Seb asked, blushing like fury and looking bewildered with a sweet smile on his face.

  


“You walked under the mistletoe, Sebbie. What did you expect?” Kurt giggled. 

  


“Aww. I missed you guys,” Seb admitted, grinning. “Let's celebrate...I want to go dancing.”

  


“Okay, we can do that,” Kurt agreed after getting a nod from Blaine.

  


“There's only one thing. I want to know what you truly think, so don't hold back, okay?” Seb asked.

  


“Sure,” they both agreed.

  


“I asked Trent to come with me because I didn't know when you were coming home. If you are uncomfortable, I can go out with you guys later,” Seb explained. “I'll just step back into the living room and you can talk it over, okay?”

  


“Sure,” Blaine said, turning to walk into his bedroom, Princess following.

  


 

  


“What do you think, Kurt?” Blaine asked. He was not sure how he felt about it himself. 

  


“It won't hurt to try. We've seen him once in a while over the past year, and you knew he and Sebbie are friends. I'll go if you want to – we can always leave if you feel uncomfortable,” Kurt said, “I think it will be fine if we're in public and you only have eyes for me on the dance floor anyway, baby.”

  


“I'll go tell Sebbie, you get dressed.”

  


 

  


~*~

  


“I thought it would get crowded, being so close to New Year's, but this is crazy. I don't know if there's room to breathe on that dance floor,” Kurt observed. Blaine grinned.

  


“The better to be close to you, my dear,” he said in his best wolf voice.

  


Kurt giggled. They stepped onto the floor, having finished a drink each, club soda with cranberry and a twist. 

  


“Seb said he and Trent would be here soon,” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear as he looked at his cell. 

  


Kurt nodded and slid his hands down to grip around Blaine's waist, pulling him in tight to fit between several other couples. They got smiles from all sides as they started to feel the rhythm and move together. All those days under the strict and watchful eye of Cassandra July made dancing like second nature to Kurt now. Blaine found Kurt's every move to be sensual, as if he was making love to the music – and worshiping Blaine's body. Blaine moved in back of Kurt, placing his arm around Kurt's waist to hold him steady as he ground into Kurt's sweet ass. He couldn't actually hear Kurt moan, but the vibrations were clear enough. Kurt pushed back, giving some more friction as they moved to the beat.

  


During the second dance, Kurt spotted Sebbie coming across the floor, his hand clasped tightly to a tall man with big blue eyes. He was thin and seemed a bit lost, holding on to Seb with his knuckles white. It took Kurt a moment to realize it was Trent. Kurt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder and leaned close to his ear.

  


“Sebbie's here with Trent, baby. Just tell me if you get to feeling anxious,” Kurt shout-whispered. Blaine's stomach lurched, but he grit his teeth and breathed deep. He could maintain. Kurt was here and he had visited Trent a few times with Kurt and Sebastian. 

  


 

  


“Kurt! Blainers, Happy New Year,” Sebastian shouted above the noise of the crowd. Trent was behind him, eyes wide. He seemed reluctant to dance at first, but Seb was whispering in his ear and running a hand down his arm. It was like magic because Trent lost the scared rabbit look and blushed a little before he put a hand to Seb's shoulder and Seb placed his on Trent's waist and they started dancing. Blaine smiled at the transformation. In spite of the history between the two of them, he didn't hate Trent. They had been good friends and Blaine understood mental illness more than most young men his age.

  


 

  


Kurt distracted his boyfriend from watching the other couple when he started to rub closer to Blaine's ass, sliding around him and putting his arms around his neck. The music was slower now and almost everyone on the dance floor was pasted to each other, heads on shoulders and arms around bodies as they all seemed to sway to the loud music together. 

  


“You okay?” Kurt asked and Blaine smiled at him.

  


“Yeah, I'm fine. I got a little bit of a lurch there at first, but I think I'm going to be fine now,” he whispered in Kurt's ear. “They look good together, don't they?” Blaine observed.

  


Kurt turned to see and was surprised to find that Trent was no longer pale and hesitant. Seb was holding him close and he actually looked as if he was enjoying himself. Seb would say something in his ear and Trent would smile. Once he even giggled. 

  


Kurt had held a big resentment towards Trent for what he had done. In his head he understood that Trent had been ill, he knew about the hallucinogenic drugs in the second bottle of whiskey – but Trent had still given it to Blaine. Kurt wanted to forgive Trent, he felt he needed to as much for his own sake as for Trent's, but deep in his heart he knew he would always have that little kernal of anger. 

  


Blaine saw Kurt's mind was uneasy, he was staring at Seb and Trent and Blaine knew that although Kurt had made peace with it he was still harboring that bit of anger. He sighed. He really wanted this to work.

  


“Hey, baby, look over here at me – I'm starting to get a little jealous of your eyes on Sebbie,” he whispered, then put out his tongue and licked Kurt's ear. Kurt jumped.

  


“Blaine!”

  


Blaine ignored Kurt's agitation and pushed his hips forward, holding Kurt's ass in his hands so he could grind against his body as they danced. Kurt's attention wasn't on Seb or Trent anymore. He put his hand on Blaine's neck and gently pulled him close, kissing his temple and snuggling his boyfriend's cheek into his chest.

  


“I only have eyes for you, Blaine. No distraction could keep me away from you, my love,” Kurt whispered. Blaine hummed in contentment. The song ended and the bass on the next song was loud and they could all feel it in their bones as the tempo sped up. Blaine took a deep breath and shook his hips, delighted when Kurt shimmied his shoulders right along with him. They danced the night away, having a wonderful time.

  


During a particularly loud song, Kurt had his back to Blaine and when hands went around his waist to pull him in closer, he realized they weren't Blaine's hands. He was pretty sure that Blaine's skin was not black. The hands were strong but gentle and he turned to see who his new dance partner was.

  


“Unique!” he shouted. He hadn't seen her in a few years, but she was as beautiful today as she had been in high school. Her grin made him smile back, so happy to see someone from his old glee club. He threw his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

  


“Kurt Hummel, you are just sex on a stick, and I want to eat you up, sugar. What are you doing here?” she asked, smiling at Kurt as Blaine came up. He was grinning and Kurt knew immediately that he had seen her first and put her up to taking his place as Kurt's dance partner. Kurt took Unique's hand and led her to a less crowded place in the back of the dance club. He found a table and offered her a chair. Blaine and Kurt sat down and took a breather.

  


“Blaine and I have been going to college here for a few years. Our roommate is here somewhere....” Kurt looked for Seb and pointed him out to her.

  


“Sebastian Smythe is your roommate?” she asked.

  


“Yeah, we share an apartment in Manhattan. He's going to Stoney Brook. I'm at NYADA and Blaine is excelling at Tisch,” Kurt enthused, winking at Blaine. 

  


“Oh...that is so cool. Do you see Mercedes there? Or Rachel?” Unique asked. 

  


“Yeah, we have a few classes together. What are you up to?” he asked.

  


“Actually, I'm transferring to Julliard. I was in California, just...you know...living the dream. I had auditioned for NYADA and Julliard, but got turned down to both. I went to LA with friends and got a call last month. A slot opened up and they asked me if I wanted to come in next semester. How could I say no?” she smiled, her eyes sparkling. “I'm still trying to wake up from the dream!”

  


“Oh, that's wonderful, sweetheart. I'm so, so proud of you,” Blaine said, giving her a hug. 

  


“Thank you,” she said, looking around the dance floor.

  


“Would you like to dance?” Kurt asked after silently asking Blaine and getting a nod from him.

  


“I thought you'd never ask!” she smiled and got to her feet, taking his hand. They threaded their way through the crowd and began to dance, Kurt grinning as Unique shook her hips. He had missed her, one of the few people from high school that he liked but had failed to keep up with.

  


Blaine sat at the table and watched Kurt dance, happy he was having such a good time. Besides, he could see Kurt move better from here. Since he was taking dance from Cassandra July, his dancing was amazing. He was the sexiest thing on the dance floor. Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, they burned when he got tired. He opened them after a few minutes to try and find Kurt on the dance floor, but his eyes fell on Trent instead. 

  


He was still dancing with Seb, although Blaine had seen him dance briefly with another man earlier. His eyes had been on Trent all evening when the couple came into view, but now he turned his attention to Seb. What Blaine saw there made him catch his breath. He'd seen Seb dance with men before, knew he was a flirt and took home men when he found them attractive. Blaine had seen him with Rudy, the man he most often dated and he and Kurt had speculated that they might end up being a couple – but what Blaine saw now was enough to make him blink his eyes to be sure it wasn't a trick of the light. He knew it wasn't the alcohol because Blaine didn't drink.

  


Seb was staring at Trent like he hung the moon. He was smiling and his eyes never left Trent's face, his hands holding him close even though this was a fairly fast dance and most, if not all, of the couples were dancing apart. It was as though they were unaware of anyone else in the room. Blaine studied Trent, seeing the same look in his eyes. It was a look of hope and expectation maybe, and his hands never left Seb's sides or his shoulders. Seb reached up and pulled Trent's head down to rest on his shoulder and kissed his hair, tugging him closer as he whispered something into his ear. He was rubbing his back at intervals when he wasn't touching his neck or waist. 

  


The song was almost done and Trent pulled back away from Seb and said something, a serious look on his face. Seb took Trent's face in his hands and kissed him for a long time, the two of them almost melting together through the last notes of the song. 

  


Blaine was still sitting there, his mouth ajar when he realized Kurt was standing behind him, glancing around to see what had caught Blaine's attention. Then Blaine could see it cross Kurt's face when he realized what was happening. His hand went to Blaine's and he sat down quickly, looking at his boyfriend.

  


“Did you see that?” he asked and Blaine nodded.

  


“Yeah, its been going on all during the dance – do you think they're already a couple or did this just happen tonight?” Kurt asked rhetorically. 

  


“They come here a few nights a week,” Unique said, looking over to see Trent and Seb leaving the dance floor to sit at a table, holding hands.

  


“Like that?” Blaine asked.

  


“Like what? They come here, have a few drinks – although I don't think its alcohol – and dance for a while, then they leave. Always together. Why?” she asked, curiosity all over her face.

  


“Because he's our roommate and he never told us,” Kurt said, leaving it at that. No sense in going into any intimate details. 

  


“Oh...well, I wouldn't hide that cute boy under a bushel if he was mine,” Unique said, smiling. “Oh, there's my ride. I came with a few friends from school. Here, this is my number. Call me and we can go to dinner, it was so nice to see you boys tonight. We New Directions alumni need to stick together, don't we?” she laughed.

  


“Thank you for the dance, I had a great time. It was good to see you, too,” Kurt smiled. “We'll have to go find a friendly karaoke place and get the whole New York gang together, right?”

  


“That would be great, Kurt. Bye, Blaine,” she said, leaning over to kiss each cheek before leaving.

  


Blaine and Kurt just sat there, looking at each other, a bit stunned.

  


“Well, knock me over with a feather...” Kurt said.

  


“Yeah. And you didn't see the whole dance. Wow,” Blaine said. The band was coming back from their break and Kurt leaned over to speak quietly to Blaine.

  


“Are you okay? You look a little dazed. Do you want to go home? Its getting late, baby,” Kurt offered. Blaine looked okay, but the lights were dim.

  


“No, I'm fine. I want another dance with you before we leave,” he said, looking back into Kurt's eyes and smiling. He took Kurt's hand and kissed his knuckles. They were in a booth at the very back of the club and it was very dark. He licked Kurt's finger and slid it into his mouth, sucking as he swirled his tongue around the tip and smiling when Kurt's other hand went down to adjust his jeans. His heart was pounding and he stopped looking at anyone else. 

  


“Blaine....” he whispered and stroked the golden cheek before taking back his hand and placing his lips on Blaine's sensuous mouth. Blaine moaned into Kurt's mouth as they kissed.

  


“Yeah...let's go home,” he said and took Kurt's hand to get up. 

  


 

  


“Oh! Sorry, we were just coming over to talk. Are you leaving so soon?” Seb asked. Neither Blaine nor Kurt had realized he was there.

  


“No, sit,” Kurt said, waving a hand at the two spaces on the other side of the booth. Seb allowed Trent to get in first, then slid in next to him.

  


Neither Blaine nor Kurt could think of a thing to say. Finally, Trent cleared his throat.

  


“Was that...Unique you were dancing with, Kurt? From Vocal Adrenaline?” he asked.

  


“Ah...oh, yes it was. She transferred to McKinley a few months before we transferred to Dalton. We got to know her when Rachel and I gave her those silver shoes – the ones she wore when she sang “Boogie Shoes” at Regionals,” Kurt said, babbling on because he had no idea what to say at this point. Silence fell over the table once again.

  


After a long three minutes, Trent spoke again.

  


“I'm so sorry. Sebbie thought it might be a fun night, so I agreed to come but I'm afraid I'm only making you uncomfortable. I apologize...” Trent said with tears in his eyes. “I think I'll call a cab.”

  


Blaine and Kurt exchanged looks and Blaine put out a hand to touch Trent's arm.

  


“No, don't go. Yes, it is awkward, but I don't want you to leave. Can we get another round of drinks and maybe...just talk?” he suggested. Seb put an arm around Trent's shoulder for a moment and gave him a hug.

  


“I think that would be nice. Is it okay with you, Trent?” he asked.

  


“Ah...yes, for a few minutes, but I don't want to insinuate myself into your lives,” he said, looking across the table to Kurt and Blaine. His face was flushed red and he was looking down. 

  


Seb snapped his fingers at the bar girl and asked for a round of drinks when she came over. None of them were drinking alcohol that night. 

  


Slowly, the four men began to talk, first remembering some of the choir competitions and other safe subjects. Then it seemed a bit weird again.

  


“If I can ask, Trent, were you able to graduate from high school? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to – but I was hoping you did. I remember you as being so bright,” he said, a thin smile on his face. He nodded encouragement to the shy man.

  


“Yeah, I did. I was able to do the rest of my schoolwork from the hospital. I had tutors from Dalton, so I was allowed to graduate with my diploma issued by Dalton Academy,” he said.

  


“I'm so glad. Are you thinking of going to college?” Blaine asked.

  


“I'm starting Stoney Brook in January. Seb helped me apply and they allowed me to enter as a transfer student since I had a year of college classes at the hospital,” Trent said. “Seb told me all about what you two were doing. Congratulations of winning the showcase last year, Blaine. I'm sorry Kurt missed it, I have heard you play Moonlight Sonata and I know you were perfect,” he said.

  


They went on discussing school and other safe subjects for over an hour, easing into the comfort of days gone by. It almost seemed like the days at Dalton with the friendships they had shared. Almost.

  


“Its getting late, we need to start for home,” Kurt said, covering a yawn. Blaine giggled.

  


'Okay, Mr. Gay Bar Superstar. Time for sleep,” Blaine said, drawing his fingers through Kurt's hair.

  


“We need to get home, too. Ready to go, Trent?” Seb asked.

  


“Yeah, let me use the restroom and I'll be right back,” he said. Seb got up to let him out of the booth.

  


“Seb?” Blaine said when Trent was out of earshot. 

  


“Ah...there's something I've been wanting to discuss with you guys,” Seb said, not looking either of them in the eye.

  


“What the fuck?” Kurt said. Kurt never used swear words. 

  


“I wanted to say something, but I just had no idea how to bring it up!” Seb defended himself. “I was just visiting him, you know, like a friend. I knew he needed somebody to talk to and both of you said you'd forgiven him. I didn't mean to fall in...” Seb stopped. His face flushed red and he put his head down in his arms. “Oh, my god. What can I say now?”

  


“How about the truth?” Blaine suggested. 

  


“Damn it. I don't know what to say....I was just being his friend and then I realized one day couldn't sleep because he was all I could think about. Then I felt guilty because of what happened....sorry, Blaine....and then I was just...? Oh, fuck. I am so confused now. Will one of you say something?” Seb looked at Kurt, then Blaine.

  


“Ah, this is kind of...sudden?” Blaine asked.

  


“Not really. Its been going on since you were in Lima when Burt had the accident at the garage, so – about eight months?” Seb offered.

  


“Okay....” Kurt said. “Do you love him, Sebastian? Does he love you?”

  


“Oh, my god, yes. I do love him. And its been tearing me up inside. I don't want to be disloyal to you, you're my best friends. You know I was there for you....” he didn't know what to say.

  


“I know. Seb, your loyalty is not in question here,” Blaine said and Kurt nodded agreement. “We want what is best for you.”

  


“Oh, you don't know how glad I am to hear you say that. I've been feeling so bad the last months, like I was doing something wrong. So, its okay with you if I date Trent?” Seb asked, ducking his head as if he thought they might hit him.

  


“Seb, we want you to be happy. If Trent makes you happy – then you have my blessing,” Blaine said, stroking Seb's cheek to make him look in his eyes. “Honest.”

  


“That goes for me, too. You have been the most loyal friend to us, how could we not want you to have the life you deserve?” Kurt said.

  


“Is it...is it okay with you if Trent comes over then? I promise, we will be respectful,” Seb said, looking hopeful.

  


“Seb, its your apartment! You can do anything you want to do. You don't need our permission,” Kurt said.

  


“I feel like its all of ours. Since the first day, I never felt any different, so I want your input. We can try it for now and talk about it?” Seb asked.

  


“Of course,” Blaine said. 

  


Trent came walking back towards the table and the conversation turned back to plans for the evening.

  


“Okay, we'll see you at home,” Kurt smiled, turning to Blaine to help him on with his coat. Seb and Trent exchanged looks and Trent smiled. 

  


 

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


 

  


“Blaine, I want you to tell me why you feel that way,” Dr. Castile said, giving him an encouraging smile. She had been his psychiatrist for four years and they usually had an easy relationship. He trusted her and she found she had a genuine fondness for the troubled boy – now a man. She treated many people, but Blaine had been such a challenge from the start, then his kind and sweet nature showed itself about the fourth month of his therapy and she had never wanted a patient to get better more than she wanted it for Blaine Anderson. 

  


“He raped me, Dr. Castile, I'm supposed to hate him,” Blaine mumbled, his head in his hands as he felt the exasperation filling him once again. He was beginning to feel his breathing being restricted and closed his eyes, thinking about waves washing on the shore. That didn't help at all and he went to his picture in his mind of Kurt's smile. He gasped a little and Dr. Castile got up from her chair and walked over to the door. She opened it and looked out at Kurt, giving him a smile and snapped her fingers at Princess who followed her into the room. She closed the door.

  


“Princess...” Blaine sighed, wrapping his arms around her and breathing into her silky red fur. He put his forehead on her shoulder and waited until he was calm again.

  


“Sorry. Thank you,” he said automatically. It had been months since he'd needed to have Princess in the room with him during a session.

  


“Can we go back to the discussion, Blaine, or is it too much?” she asked.

  


“No, I'm okay. Well, I'm supposed to hate him and now I've seen him twice with Sebastian. I agreed that Trent could come over, so I …..well, I can't go back on my word, can I?” he asked, but she knew it was a rhetorical question.

  


“Who told you that you were “supposed” to hate Trent?” she asked.

  


Blaine blinked his eyes and looked at her. He didn't know. Wasn't it just proper?

  


“Blaine, what are you thinking?” the doctor asked him.

  


“I don't know the answer. Society? If someone does something terrible to you, isn't hating them the logical thing to do?” he asked.

  


“Is it?” 

  


“I think so...?” he sounded very unclear and tightened his grip around Princess. She was used to this, but he was holding her too tight and she flinched.

  


“Oh, sorry, girl...” he apologized to his dog and let his muscles relax.

  


“Well, do you hate him then?” 

  


“No. I mean, we were really good friends. I can remember going into his dorm room – Trent had a single – and then drinking the whiskey. The next thing I remember was that Kurt was there, except that I've already told you that it wasn't Kurt. I remember the panic in the room, and it wasn't just from me. I think Trent was panicking, too. Then I remember waking up in the hospital and my backside hurt.”

  


“Okay. So, you agreed to drop charges if he would seek treatment in a hospital, which he did. Was that your idea or someone else's?” the doctor asked.

  


“Mine. My dad and Papa Burt wanted him to go to jail. Kurt didn't say, but that was because he wanted to do some kind of harm to him. I could see it in his eyes. He was so angry. I think he's still angry, but he's letting go of it, too. I just couldn't believe Trent...Trent! Of all people would hurt me. And even now, I don't think he meant to do me harm. I think he was....” Blaine stopped talking and hid his face in his dog's fur.

  


“Blaine.”

  


“I think he was in love with me. He used to follow me with his eyes and I knew he felt like that. I was in love with Kurt and I didn't want to hurt Trent, but...well, Kurt has always been it for me. I thought everyone understood that. Trent didn't, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I should have just told him that, maybe I made him think he had a chance.”

  


“Blaine, we've been over all of this. What might be more helpful is to ask yourself if you do actually hate Trent or if your feelings are not that precise. You are the one that knows how you feel, not what your perceive society expects you to feel. Okay?”

  


Blaine sat still for a moment, gathering his thoughts and absent-mindedly stroking Princess.

  


“I don't hate him, I am positive of that. If nobody else were involved, I would just want to make friends with him again.”

  


“If nobody else were involved, Blaine?” Dr. Castile asked.

  


Blaine's eyes watered. Was this what was holding him back? Was this what made him feel so confused and upset and anxious? Oh, my god, he thought: _This was the crux of the whole matter. It wasn't him that hated Trent – he was terrified of disappointing Kurt._

  


“Ah, I think you've just found your answer. Or at least the question you need to ask yourself, haven't you?” she said in a soft but supportive voice.

  


“It's Kurt. I don't want to disappoint Kurt,” Blaine burst into tears and Princess licked his face, pressing her body into his chest as she had been trained. He held her close and cried into her fur once again. “I don't want Kurt to be angry at me for forgiving Trent.”

  


Dr. Castile sat quietly while Blaine composed himself. She offered him the box of tissue, but he'd already retrieved his handkerchief from his pocket and was wiping his eyes.

  


“I need to talk to him. Do you think we should do it in here, or on our own?” he asked his doctor. Kurt was often invited to join them when certain issues came up and Dr. Castile had found that very useful. She rarely saw a couple who appeared so bonded, even more rarely a gay couple given that being out and together was sometimes more difficult in today's society. She liked Kurt and was glad Blaine had such a strong person to lean on, but they didn't fool her. She had known from the beginning that Blaine was the stronger of the two and Kurt had taken on that role when Blaine needed him. More and more she was seeing Blaine return to what she saw as his natural role in their dynamic. 

  


“I suppose that depends on how comfortable you are with it. Kurt has my number if he feels the need to have me involved, so I want to know what you want to do,” she asked Blaine.

  


“I think I'll talk to him first. Then is it okay if he comes with me to the next appointment?” Blaine asked.

  


“Of course, Blaine. Call me if you need to, otherwise I will see you in two weeks. Okay?”

  


“That sounds good.”

  


 

  


~*~*~*~*~

  


“We need to talk.”

  


“Sure, Blaine. Did everything go all right in session today? Or did you want to talk about something else?” Kurt asked, slipping Blaine's coat on his arms before settling it around his collar, stroking his cheek for a moment before letting him help with his jacket.

  


“Let's get some lunch and go sit in the park. I know there's snow, but its pretty warm for January,” Blaine suggested.

  


“Sure, that sounds fine,” Kurt smiled at his boyfriend. 

  


 

  


Sitting on benches in the small park, Princess lying on the warm cement and taking a nap while her master and Kurt ate the sandwiches they got from the corner deli. Blaine took a long drink of his water and looked at Kurt.

  


“Okay, Anderson, spill,” Kurt said, hoping he was ready for anything.

  


“Its about Trent,” he started and saw Kurt take several swallows of his own water.

  


“Okay...what about him? Do you want to ask Seb not to bring him to the apartment any more? I know it will be hard, but we have to thaink about your....”

  


“No. Just hear me out, okay?” Blaine interrupted. Kurt stopped talking and gave Blaine his full attention. He was well aware of how long it had been since he'd had to bring Princess into a session, and he was worried. He told himself to just listen and then react. He knew he could be strong for Blaine – he'd been doing it for a long time now.

  


“No, I like seeing Trent and Seb together. I just don't...oh, shit,” Blaine swore. He closed his eyes to try and regroup, taking a breath and reaching for Princess, but she was asleep so he just left his hand in the air. A warm hand took it and then he was in Kurt's arms. 

  


“Blaine, baby, its okay. You can tell me anything. Just start at the beginning and I will listen without judgment until you're through. Okay?” Kurt said in his softest voice. He kissed Blaine's temple and brushed the curls from his eyes, looking into the troubled hazel depths. He felt Blaine relax in his arms.

  


Blaine explained how he didn't feel any animosity towards Trent any more, how he had known about Trent's crush and felt a bit of responsibility for not correcting that impression. He explained how he felt almost an obligation to hate him, but just didn't have that emotion in his whole body for Trent. He was worried that Kurt would find Blaine's feelings to be some sort of betrayal to Kurt, given how angry Kurt had been for so long. Blaine just let it all out and Kurt took it in silently. He wanted to speak, but held his tongue until Blaine was done.

  


“And so, Kurt...I don't want anything like this to come between us. I am comfortable with having Trent in the apartment and I just want to know where you stand because I think you were always far angrier with him than I was,” Blaine concluded. He lifted his head from Kurt's shoulder where he had been resting it and looked into his boyfriend's eyes.

  


“Oh, Blaine....sweetheart. I don't know where to begin. You are the love of my life, and to think I've been causing so much turmoil for you....oh, baby,” Kurt's eyes turned to liquid and tears began to roll down his cheeks.

  


“Kurt, it isn't your fault, I just didn't want to disappoint you...I really don't mind if Trent comes over if it makes Sebastian happy. C'mere,” he said, kissing the tears from Kurt's cheeks. “We should have talked about this a long time ago. I'm so sorry,” Blaine whispered, burying his face in Kurt's neck. They stayed that way for a while, just breathing the same air and holding each other.

  


“Hey, its getting a little chilly. I guess we better get going home. Its my night to cook,” Blaine said, searching Kurt's face to make sure he was okay.

  


“All right. Here, Princess. Get up you lazy old dog,” he laughed as she stood up and shook herself before wagging her tail and walking beside Blaine.

  


“I have forgiven Trent, too, Blaine. I think after all this time – and that you have forgiven him – I can do it. He was ill and now he is on his way to recovery. It might be good for all of us to sit down and talk a little, make sure Seb and Trent both know we're okay with him being there. I think holding on to the anger just made me tired, you know?” Blaine said. Kurt smiled back and they took hold of each other's hands and walked the rest of the way home.

  


 

  


~*~*~*~

  


“Trent? I'm so glad you were able to come tonight. Kurt and I made a special dinner,” Blaine said, taking Trent's jacket and hanging it up in the closet by the door. Trent's smile was hesitant but there.

  


“You did? Honest, Seb and I can go out if you're having a dinner party, I didn't mean to intrude,” Trent said shyly, his eyes not meeting Blaine's.

  


“No, we cooked this for you, Trent. Please, come with me,” Blaine said, taking his arm and walking into the dining room. Seb was standing there, a smile on his face that reached his eyes when he saw his boyfriend. 

  


“Please, have a seat,” Kurt offered, indicating a chair next to Sebastian's. Trent sat down, murmuring thanks. 

  


Kurt served the salad first, then the lasagna with garlic bread before they said much more than words about the weather or how delicious the food was.

  


“Trent, we …..well, Kurt and I....wanted to tell you that you are welcome here. I know its Sebbie's apartment, but he asked us if we were okay with you being here. It was very kind of him to include us, and we appreciate it. We talked it over and Trent, we do want to see you here. You were one of our best friends at Dalton and we are willing and anxious to put the incident behind us and rekindle our friendship if you are willing. So, how about it, Trent? Can we all be friends again?” Blaine asked, his eyes locked on Trent's.

  


Trent just sat there, his mouth open for a moment before he closed it and took a breath. Tears were in his eyes as he looked from Blaine to Kurt and back.

  


“Yes, oh....if we could? I have missed you so much. I know I've apologized, and I mean that from my heart. I never meant to hurt you, Blaine. Or you, Kurt,” Trent started.

  


“No, we want to leave all of that behind. Start a new page, Trent. We won't ever mention it again, and I think we will be good friends. Now, I have a little something here...” Kurt began, opening a bottle, the cork popping as he poured golden liquid into flute glasses.

  


“Ah, I don't drink..” Trent said quietly.

  


“It's sparkling apple cider. We don't drink, either,” Blaine whispered. 

  


When everyone had their drink, Seb picked up his glass and smiled at each of his friends. “Here's to good friends, may we be together for the rest of our lives.”

  


“Here, here!” the other three shouted, clinking their glasses together and drinking it all down.

  


 

  


The rest of the evening went well, talking over what they were doing in classes, how their holidays went, new year's resolutions. When it was late, Blaine whispered to Kurt that he was tired and they said goodnight.

  


“I'm glad we're friends again, Trent. I missed us, you know?” Blaine said, holding out his arms to his friend.

  


“I missed us, too, Blaine. Thank you, so much. I promise to do everything in my power to be worthy of being your friend.” Blaine hugged him tight, lying his head on Trent's shoulder for a moment.

  


“Good night, Kurt. Thank you for everything. It's good to be back in the fold,” Trent said softly, hugging Kurt when he held out his arms.

  


“Good to have you back,” Kurt said and brushed a kiss across Trent's cheek.

  


 

  


~*~*~*~*~

  


“Sebbie, did you know that's what was going to happen tonight?” Trent asked as he snuggled close to his boyfriend in bed an hour later.

  


“I guessed it. They came to me yesterday and said they wanted to have you over for dinner. I could see they had been talking and both were very emotional, so I figured that was what was going to happen. Are you okay with it?” Seb asked. He felt very protective of Trent, knowing how fragile he still was. He felt like he had a lot in common with Kurt in that respect. 

  


 

  


“I'm okay...just stunned. From the first moment you and Kurt came into my dorm room that night I knew I had lost the one thing I needed most in life – all of my friends. And I knew it was my fault. To have that returned to me? Oh, Sebbie...its a dream come true. And I think I owe it all to you,” Trent said, holding close to Seb. “And to know that both Blaine and Kurt forgive me? I can't wrap my head around that.”

  


“Trent, darling boy...I don't want to minimize what you're feeling, but I might have a different take on that. To forgive you wasn't a sign that they condoned what you did, it was something they both needed to do to stop hurting their own hearts. You were their friend and carrying all that animosity around every day was getting to be too much of a burden. I think they want the friendship back – and to stop hurting because of what happened. They still care about you, Trent, or they wouldn't have had this meeting. They wanted you back in their hearts because they know that no matter what happened that day – it is gone and done and they want to move on with the best possible life. Trent, that life includes you as their friend,” Seb said, very seriously. He looked into Trent's eyes.

  


“The bottom line is: they wanted to have their friend back, Trent. They wanted you,” Seb whispered. 

  


Trent's eyes were locked on Seb's and he finally understood. Now he was not only relieved and thrilled that Blaine and Kurt were back in his life, but that he now had Sebbie and that made life worth getting up every day.

  


“I love you, Sebastian,” Trent said, snuggling into his waiting arms. Seb kissed his head and held him tightly. Trent may just be the answer to his prayer after all. 

  


“I love you, too, Trent.”

  


 

  


~*~*~*~*~

  


“Blaine, are you okay?” Kurt asked. He thought the evening had gone well, but wanted to check to be sure.

  


“Yeah. Like a piece of our life puzzle has fallen back into place. I can say that tonight was like a huge sigh of relief,” Blaine said, smiling a quiet little smile almost to himself.

  


“We've been through a lot, but we always seem to land on our feet, don't we?” Kurt asked.

  


“Only because together you and I are strong, Pooh-bear. Apart we might not be as able to face life – but with you in my corner, I just know I'll end up on top. We belong together.”

  


“Yeah, we always have. Did I tell you how brave you were out there, baby?” Kurt asked.

  


Blaine blushed and kissed the tip of Kurt's nose. “It just seemed right.”

  


Kurt kissed Blaine back, touching his lips softly to Blaine's. “It was right, my little Piglet. It was the right thing to do,” he whispered, “but how could that surprise me? You always know the right thing to do. I'd be lost without you, you know.” 

  


Kurt sounded so emotional, Blaine began to worry a little.

  


“Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

  


“Yeah...I'm...no. Blaine I can see you getting stronger and better all the time and I'm so grateful. I worried about you so much and now I can see you being well. Its all I ever wanted – for you to be well again, to be healed from all the things that have beaten you down. I could never protect you from life, Blaine...and I'm sorry. I don't know if I was ever enough...” Kurt confessed. 

  


“Oh, Kurt. You are more than enough, you are all I've ever wanted. I knew even when we were little kids that you were strong, why do you think I took your hand that first day in the kids theatre?” Blaine asked, rolling over on his side and propping himself up on his forearm so he could see Kurt's face.

  


“Because you could see I needed a friend. I was still reeling and numb from the shock of my mother dying. I needed you, Blaine, and there you were,” Kurt said, searching Blaine's eyes to see if he understood.

  


“No, Kurt. I took your hand because you had something in you that I could feel. Of all the kids in that room, I knew you were the strongest person there and I needed your strength. Yours. I have never been strong, Kurt. I have spent my life being afraid of my own shadow, feeling like my biological family didn't love me. But I knew after that one day that _you_ loved me. Even if you didn't know it, I did.”

  


“I did love you – from the first day. When I felt your warm hand holding mine, I was hopeful that you would never leave...but when you didn't run from Rachel Berry..well....” Kurt said.

  


Blaine shouted out a laugh and dissolved in giggles, Kurt joining him until they were holding their bellies in pain from laughing.

  


“Okay, you win. If we can take Rachel, you know we're both strong. And together we can do anything. Now, let's get some sleep. I'm exhausted,” Blaine said, leaning up to kiss Kurt in a deep emotional kiss packed with all of his feeling and all of his love, and Kurt returned it.


	15. Twenty-Four Years Old

“I got it!” Kurt thundered into the apartment as he threw open the door. Sebastian walked into the foyer, curious about the sudden noise, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and smiling at his roommate.

 

“I knew they couldn't overlook your talent, Kurt!” Blaine shouted, running in from the dining room to pick Kurt up and twirl him around. He set his boyfriend down carefully and kissed him thoroughly. Pulling back to catch his breath, Kurt grinned as Sebastian took a turn hugging him. Trent had followed Seb in, but he just smiled and put out a tentative hand to pat Kurt's back. Kurt turned to him when Seb let him down and drew the shy man into a gentle hug, too. Trent looked down after Kurt let go with a sweet smile on his face.

 

“When do rehearsals start?” Blaine asked, anxious to hear all the news.

 

“Next Thursday. We'll be rehearsing every day from ten to six, Monday through Saturday for the first four weeks, then they might step it up to more if it looks like we need it. It looks like we're going to be seeing less of each other for a while, Blaine,” Kurt said, his face taking on a sadness that transferred itself to Blaine.

 

“Hey, we'll make time. We have the mornings free. I get home around one in the morning, so if I get up at...oh...around nine? Oh. I guess you'll be leaving for the theater by then.” Blaine sighed. Kurt frowned. Blaine tried again.

 

“We'll make it work. I know...I can stay up and we can have from one to five or six in the morning, then I can sleep until its time to leave for my show. I know we'll work it out. We knew this would be hard, Kurt. It won't last forever. When rehearsals are over, we'll both be working nights and have the same schedule again. Okay?” Blaine suggested, watching the smile bloom once again on Kurt's face.

 

“So, which play is it?” Trent asked. Seb and Blaine looked at each other. Kurt had tried out for several off-Broadway shows. “What part did you get?” 

 

“Let me give you a clue: 

 

_Every man has his daydreams_  
Every man has his goal  
People like the way dreams have  
Of sticking to the soul  
Thunderclouds have their lightning  
Nightingales have their song  
And don't you see I want my life to be   
Something more than long....”  
  


 

A very jubilant Blaine joined in for the chorus:

 

 

“ _Rivers belong where they can ramble_  
Eagles belong where they can fly  
I've got to be where my spirit can run free  
Got to find my corner of the sky”

 

 

 

Kurt belted out the lyrics as the three men stood there, each with their eyes wide open, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“Oh my glory and stars, Kurt.....you got _Pippin_!!!!!!!” Blaine rushed forward to pick Kurt up once more, swinging him around while trying to capture his mouth. He finally stopped twirling and just kissed his beautiful boyfriend, whose ecstatic cries between kisses met with a general shouting and clapping of everyone in the room. 

 

Kurt laughed, looking from one shining smile to the next. 

 

“What part did you get?” Seb asked, knowing Kurt had tried for everything from Lead Player, the biggest part in the play, to chorus.

 

“Actually....I got Pippin,” Kurt smiled, still in a state of shock from the news. “I guess its kind of ironic – me, playing somebody who is trying to find their place in the world,” Kurt said. Blaine hugged him once again, whispering in his ear.

 

“Your place is always right beside me, my love.”

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~~*

 

 

Kurt, Blaine, and Seb had all graduated from their colleges in May of last year. Blaine and Kurt both got work in the theatre: Blaine in an orchestra playing his beloved violin and sometimes piano and Kurt doing costumes in a busy costume shop for Broadway productions. He wasn't designing anything by himself yet, but being an apprentice allowed him to work the hours he needed to be able to go out to the various cattle calls for off-Broadway shows. Neither of them expected to be 'discovered' making malts in the local soda shop, but they were both optimistic that things would progress and they would be able to work their way up.

 

It happened to Blaine first. He was at a try-out at The New York Theater Workshop down in the Bowery for a general chorus/dancing part and had practiced with Kurt and Rachel for a week to get all the steps right. He was feeling pretty good about his audition when the music director and the play director stopped the line and asked several people to leave the stage. They started again and then several more were dismissed. More discussion by the two men and it was down to maybe a couple dozen singer-dancers left on the stage.

 

“You - - there with the gray pants, blue shirt, and that mop of curls. Please wait off stage in the wings,” the music director said. Blaine left the stage, looking for his bag to change into street clothes when a woman came up to him, taking him by the arm. She was a large woman, but not tall – probably a few inches shorter than Blaine, but as wide as she was tall with kinky, titian red hair that sprung out in various places where her kerchief didn't hold it in. He looked at her beautiful face and decided she must be part African-American and part some sort of European. She was dressed in a brightly flowered dress that looked more like a tent with a paisley shawl wrapped tightly around her waist and hips. Blaine was searching her face, wondering where he was being asked to go when he noticed her nose ring. Her smile was infectious as she looked at him before indicating that he should come with her. He followed along, puzzled by her actions but was willing to follow her direction.

 

“Sit here,” she commanded and left him to watch as the field of applicants were mowed down on the stage. He sat for quite a while, wondering if they had forgotten him. He watched the woman give a packet of papers to the final dozen or so left at the end of the audition, then watched as they all left. He was about ready to leave himself when he heard the Musical director call out.

 

“Hey, Mopsy, come back out here.” 

 

Blaine got to his feet and went back out on the stage. The woman was now sitting at the piano and watching the director. 

 

“Can you sing?” he asked.

 

“Of course...I passed the singing audition,” Blaine said, confused as to why the man would ask that when Blaine had to pass the singing audition before he'd been allowed to try the dancing part. 

 

“Okay, sing.....anything at all. Rinah can play almost anything,” he said and the woman nodded her head toward Blaine. 

 

He thought for only a moment and said, “ _It's Time_ ”?

 

She looked puzzled and Blaine spoke again.

 

“I can play it while I sing if you'd like?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Blaine walked over to the piano and sat down next to Rinah, who refused to give up her seat, but moved over so he could sit beside her. He touched the keyboard and took a settling breath, then launched himself into the song. He sang it just the way he'd sung to Kurt and images of his best friend and love came to his mind, forgetting where he was for a few minutes. He ended the song and looked expectantly at the men sitting in the theatre seats.

 

“Fine. We'll call if we need you,” one of them said. Blaine got up to leave, sad his dancing apparently hadn't been up to par, but he had been to dozens of these cattle calls and he wasn't too disappointed. 

 

As he got his jacket on to brave the New York wind outside, Rinah came up and handed him the same packet of papers the other finalists had gotten, asked his name and made a note on her sheaf of papers attached to a worn clipboard, She smiled once more and turned away, obviously dismissing him. Well, he might get a part in the chorus after all. 

 

 

It had been two days since that audition when he and Kurt were sitting at a coffee house near their apartment. Blaine's phone rang and he took it out to see who was calling. Kurt was right next to him, so he wasn't too anxious to answer and glanced at the caller ID. It said: **NYMETRO.**

 

“Hello?”

 

…..

 

“Yes, this is Blaine Anderson.”

 

…..

 

“Of course I remember you.”

 

…..

 

His eyes got wide, then wider and his hands started to shake. Kurt was getting very concerned – was it bad news? Had Seb or someone been in an accident?

 

…..

 

“Yes, sir. I'll be there. Thank you, Sir.”

 

…..

 

“Ah, okay, thank you, Jack. Yes, I'll be there with bells on!”

 

 

He sat looking at his phone after he'd ended the call until Kurt put a hand on his wrist.

 

“Is everything okay?” he'd asked and Blaine burst into tears, his arms finding their way around Kurt's neck as his lips found Kurt's mouth. It was a few minutes before Kurt pulled back to look into Blaine's eyes and figure out what was going on.

 

“Is everything okay? Yeah...Kurt - I just got the part of the Emcee in a off-Broadway production,” Blaine said, looking happy and shocked at the same time.

 

“Emcee?” Kurt asked.

 

“Yeah...I'm the Emcee...in _Cabaret_!!!” Blaine practically shouted. 

 

“Oh...Blaine, that is fantastic! Oh!! Oh, let me be the one to tell Rachel, Please, please.. _pleasepleaseplease_!!” Kurt whined, his hands together as if he were praying and Blaine laughed.

 

“Sure, you can tell her...but it has to be in person while I'm there because I _have_ to see her face!”

 

 

On Blaine's opening night, Kurt, Seb, Trent, Rachel, and Finn were in the first row. Blaine had seemed a little nervous right before the show but it never showed on stage. His make-up was stunning with the thick eye-liner and long, lush eye lashes, the crisp white shirt with suspenders. He sang his heart out with the girl who played Sally Bowles and found they had great chemistry together. He was sizzling on stage. At least that was what the New York Times theater critic called his performance, and Kurt agreed whole heartedly. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Blaine had been in rehearsal for the show for a few weeks of the three month booking when Kurt got his chance to do off-Broadway. He'd been to so many cattle calls he was thinking of changing his name to Elmer. It turned out well though because he'd been able to do a few weeks as a stand-in monkey in _Wicked_ , then played one of the prisoners in _Man of La Mancha_. He was pleased with what he'd been able to do considering he had just graduated. 

 

 

When this opportunity to play the second lead in the _Pippin_ revival came along, Kurt was over the moon about it and invited his family to come and see him. Plans were made to have them come the second week when Kurt would be more comfortable in his role in front of so many people, then the next night they were going to see Blaine in _Cabaret_. 

 

Rachel called him one morning as he sat in his kitchen alone – Seb and Trent were in Ohio visiting Seb's aunt and Blaine was sound asleep in their bedroom, tired from the show the night before.

 

“So, its only a week before your opening night – are you excited?” Rachel asked. 

 

“Of course. I think I was singing ' _With You'_ in my sleep last night. I thought I'd be sick of the music by now after six weeks of rehearsals, but I love it as much now as I did before I started,” Kurt said honestly. He'd found himself whistling ' _Magic Shows and Miracles_ ' in the shower this morning – which clashed with Blaine's singing ' _I Don't Care Much_ ' in the bedroom. They had both ended up in giggles and stole a few private moments under the covers until Kurt had to go if he was going to get a cup of coffee and scoot off to the subway in time. 

 

 

Just as he finished his morning coffee, his cell rang and he saw it was his best pal calling.

 

“Well, I just might be joining you in the footlights, my dear,” Rachel said, her voice gaining in pitch through Kurt's cell phone.

 

“Oh! That's wonderful!” Kurt enthused. Rachel had been getting her share of bit parts since she was a student at NYADA and Kurt had been jealous for a while. He was happy for her, but getting the role of Pippin was so worth it to see her face when he told her. He knew Blaine secretly wanted her to scream with a jealous rage for a minute, but Kurt was so pleasantly surprised when Rachel was overjoyed her two friends were so successful.

 

“Do tell!” he encouraged her.

 

“I read for several parts and I just got a call – its way, way off-Broadway, but I got Anna,” she squealed. 

 

“Anna? Of Green Gables?” Kurt teased. He knew immediately which Anna Rachel actually meant.

 

“NO! That is Anne, not Anna.....” Rachel whined.

 

“Oh..Annie Get Your Gun? I always think 'Western' when I see you, Rachel,” Kurt teased. Rachel huffed and tried to shout louder so Kurt would stop talking over her good news.

 

“No, smart ass, I got Anna in ' _The King and I'_ ,” Rachel crowed and Kurt was pretty sure he could hear her all the way from her loft in Bushwick. 

 

“Oh, Rachel, that is so fantastic. Wow...are you strong enough to wear the costumes? I hear Gertrude Lawrence had to wear a 75 pound dress – and dance in it!” he bated his friend.

 

“Of course I can wear it! This is not 1952, they make them out of lighter fabrics these days. Honestly, Kurt – you _do_ work in a costume shop, right? Are you and Blaine and the gang coming to see me?” she asked.

 

“Yes. We'll find a way. Blaine is almost done with _Cabaret_ , and I have Tuesdays off. I bet Trent and Seb can come, too. We'll be your cheering section,” Kurt offered, grinning as he thought of how beautiful Rachel would be dancing around the stage and singing ' _Getting To Know You_ '. He knew she would be amazing. 

 

“Do you want me to tell Blaine and the guys?” he teased, knowing full well that Rachel would want to tell each of them in person. He braced for her squeal and was not disappointed. Laughing into his phone, he told her he wouldn't think of letting the cat out of the bag but would make reservations at their favorite vegan restaurant to celebrate – on him. 

 

 

On Kurt's opening night he walked on stage in his costume – a sleeveless chain-mail shirt and tight black pants, neither of which left much to the imagination. Blaine stared at him and followed only Kurt across the stage with his eyes throughout the entire play, mesmerized by the costume and Kurt's face with all the make-up that brought out his amazing blue eyes. Blaine grinned, thinking that Kurt should wear that costume home one day this week. Seb saw the lust in Blaine's eyes and hit him in the arm.

 

“Whoa there, tiger, you're drooling,” Seb kidded. He had little room to talk, he was watching Kurt's hips as he swayed across the stage belting out his song. Blaine was pretty sure he'd never hear ' _Corner of the Sky'_ again without getting a hard-on. 

 

 

With all of them acting and singing in various plays, it was an amazing time for Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel. They got together whenever possible and had a great time. As Christmas approached, they made plans to return to Ohio to see their families. They all had the week of Christmas off. Seb and Trent were going to Colorado to ski, then to Aunt Pauline's in Ohio for Christmas Day, so it was just Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel going home for the whole week. 

 

 

Walking down the airport concourse, Blaine and Kurt were holding hands. Rachel had come home the day before so it was just the two of them and Princess. Because Princess was a service dog, she was allowed on the airplane with Blaine, and she was frisking around a bit beside him, knowing she was close to home. She began wagging her long tail as they got close to the doors and Kurt noticed.

 

“Dad came to pick us up,” he said, watching how excited the little setter was. Blaine laughed, watching her himself.

 

“Sometimes I think she loves Papa Burt more than me,” he teased, dropping down to ruffle through the soft fur on her chest. 

 

Burt walked in the doors just a moment later and the tail was wagging harder than ever. Burt got down on his knees to greet her, hugging the dog and talking to her before searching his pocket for a dog biscuit.

 

“Dad! You know better than to pet – much less feed – a service dog when she's working,” Kurt admonished.

 

“Kurt, I think Papa Burt just might like Princess more than he likes us!” Blaine said, trying to sound serious.

 

“Of course I do,” Burt said, “I _picked_ her – I just got _stuck_ with you two.”

 

Blaine and Kurt threw their arms around Burt, grinning from ear to ear as he hugged them back. 

 

“Merry Christmas, boys. I'm so happy to see you!” Burt said, his grin never wavering while he took one of the many suitcases and turned to walk back to his truck. 

 

 

“Carole!” Kurt and Blaine said at once, rushing to hug her while Princess barked and ran around them in circles. 

 

“Oh, its so good to see my boys. Come in, come in. Finn is already here with Rachel and I have dinner ready for us all,” she said, taking her crutches and moving inside. Princess walked with Burt, frisking around like a puppy. Burt watched her, thinking her muzzle was getting a few white hairs among the red. He wondered how old a dog could be and still act as a service dog. 

 

Blaine and Kurt came in, placing their suitcases in the basement bedroom and taking time to just look at each other for a moment. They were alone in the room and there were not very many opportunities to be alone when they visited the family.

 

“I'm kind of tired, are you?” Kurt asked.

 

“Yeah, its been a hard week. I was all ready to do my final show when the director came backstage and told us we were to be back on the 27th for two more weeks. I was surprised as anyone and a few of the actors have parts in other plays, so it looks like I'll be working with a fairly new bunch. The understudy for Sally is also leaving, so it looks like we're getting a new girl. I need to be there for rehearsals because we're in so many scenes together,” Blaine said. He'd just heard the news last night and hadn't had much of a chance to tell Kurt. 

 

“Well, we end in two weeks, too, so I guess we'll all be out of work. Time to hit the pavement again,” Kurt smiled. After this role, he really didn't mind trying again. 

 

“I can hardly wait for us to be out of work...I'm going to sit in the hot tub with you and spend hours kissing every little part of your skin that I can find. Twice,” he smiled, kissing Blaine's neck right on the spot that made him absolutely crazy. Blaine giggled and ducked away, only to dart back and kiss Kurt's lips. He was tender and soft and Kurt hummed his appreciation for the small romantic gesture. He loved it when Blaine kissed him slowly and they took their time to appreciate everything about the other. Kurt took in his breath as Blaine's fingers stroked down his arm and rubbed his wrist, his thumb circling the wrist bone as Kurt shivered.

 

“I think we need to go eat dinner with the family, then come to bed early, don't you?” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear. Kurt smiled and nodded his agreement before ghosting his lips over Blaine's cheek and turning to walk up the stairs, their fingers now laced together.

 

 

Christmas was a joy for everyone. Blaine's dad flew in on Christmas Eve to join them. Carole, Rachel, and Kurt had been cooking all morning. Rachel's dads were here this year and it was a warm and wonderful time for everyone. 

 

After Christmas dinner, Blaine and Kurt sat in the den with Finn. Everyone else had either gone home or were otherwise occupied and the boys had yet to select a movie to watch.

 

“Tell me how school is going, Finn,” Kurt asked.

 

“Its fine. I finished my bachelor's degree as you know, and I'm almost finished with my Masters in psychology. I can start practicing by next year. I'll be glad to finish with school and start putting all of that education to work. Puck is keeping up with me and we just might start a practice of our own, either together or perhaps with an established counselor. We're not sure yet.”

 

“What kind of psychology are you thinking of specializing in?” asked Blaine, clearly interested.

 

“I think it will be children, mostly survivors of abuse, neglect: traumatized children. Blaine, I felt as if had a front row seat in your recovery from what you went through and I really want to work with kids like that. I hope you don't mind me mentioning it to you...” Finn's eyes were caught up looking at Blaine's toffee hazel eyes and Blaine smiled. 

 

“I think that's a wonderful thing to do. Is Puck thinking of doing the same thing?” Blaine asked.

 

“Yes, but a little different. He is thinking of doing a bit more of helping shy kids with low self-esteem type problems. He wants to use his life experience of being a bully to some use. I know that by the end of high school he wasn't a bully any more, but for a few years there he was pretty lost. I hate to think of what would have become of him if he hadn't found Glee Club. He thinks he can help kids that have been labeled as bullies to see how that can be destructive in their own lives as well as for their victims. I think that together, we can make a good team, don't you?” Finn wondered. Kurt smiled and Blaine nodded.

 

“I think that's great. Are you and Rachel still thinking about getting married?” Kurt asked. Finn and Rachel were still together and there had been a few hints about them finally deciding to tie the knot.

 

“We've been talking about it. I don't know yet how we would work it out – with her in New York and Puck and me here in Lima? Obviously we would have to pick one or the other – or perhaps find a compromise in another city. I want her to be able to have her dream of being on Broadway – and she is on the edge of it now. How could I ask her to quit her lifelong dream and move back here to this little po-dunk town just so I can fulfill my own wishes? That would never be fair,” Finn said, looking sad.

 

“Well, Finn, I'd say that she can't say yes or no if you don't ask her the question, can she?” Blaine offered. Kurt and Finn both stared at him for a moment. 

 

“I think maybe you should be the one going to school to be a counselor, Blaine. I have no idea why I never thought of that,” Finn grinned. “I will bring it up with her tonight. Its not as if we need to make the decision right away, we can give it some thought over the next year. Thanks, Blaine,” Finn said and patted Blaine on the back. 

 

Princess walked into the room, wagging her tail and putting her head in Blaine's lap. His hand went out to rub behind her ears as it had a million times before. 

 

“She has been a big help to you, hasn't she, Blaine?” Finn asked, nodding at the dog.

 

“Honestly, Finn, she's been everything to me. You know what I was facing, and I got through it with Kurt and Burt supporting and loving me,” Blaine said, sounding sad and taking Kurt's hand in his. Kurt put an arm around Blaine's shoulder and pulled him close so Blaine could cuddle into to his side. “There were times, though, when it wasn't possible for one or the other to be there for me – I was pretty needy there for a long time. Princess was the one that helped me through those times. If I was scared at night in my big, lonely house and I didn't want to wake up Cooper or my parents, Princess would be there. She slept in my bed and I could always put my arms around her – and feel safe. When I would start to have an anxiety attack at school, she would know and press against me in class and I knew I was safe with her there. Aside from Kurt and Papa Burt, Princess is the most important thing in my life. I don't think I would have been able to heal if it wasn't for her,” Blaine said, the stark honesty of his comments bringing tears to the eyes of Finn and Kurt.

 

“I want to work with service dogs for little kids, too. I've seen with my own eyes how important they can become in the healing process, thanks to you, Blaine. Its really something to think about. How old is Princess? How long can a dog be a service dog?” Finn asked.

 

“She's only eight. Irish setters live longer than most dogs, so she might have as much as eight or ten years left. Even when I retire her, its not as if I could ever get rid of her....she'll be my dog the rest of her life – no matter how long that is. She's more like a member of the family than like a working animal in my mind,” Blaine said, rubbing her ears. 

 

“I think so, too,” Kurt chimed in, leaning forward to stroke the dog's long red fur. “She's my best girl, aren't you, Princess?” 

 

Princess stood, enjoying the attention lavished upon her. When they were done petting her, she jumped up on the sofa at Blaine's invitational pat on the cushion, walked around in three circles and settled down with her head once more on Blaine's lap. 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was busy at LaGuardia Airport as Kurt and Blaine walked down the corridor to the street, hailing a cab to take them into Manhattan. They arrived at their apartment and just got their suitcases unpacked when they heard Sebastian come in the front door. 

 

“Hey, Seb, how was your holiday?” Blaine asked.

 

“Wonderful. Auntie Pauline looks younger every year and we had surprise guests. My parents actually showed up for Christmas dinner,” he said, his voice careful not to show any emotion.

 

“Was it okay?” Kurt asked, picking up the subtle signs of Seb's anxiety. Princess came over and shoved her nose into Seb's hand. 

 

Seb knew he'd never convince his friends that he was okay now. Princess was so sensitive to the moods of the people she loved and although Blaine was her master and she loved him the most, she considered Kurt, Seb, and now Trent to be part of her responsibility. Seb walked over and sat on the sofa, putting his face in his hands.

 

Kurt sat next to him on one side and Blaine on the other.

 

“What can we do?” Kurt asked, rubbing Seb's back to try and comfort him.

 

“Nothing, really. Its over with. They made it clear that now that I am of legal age and that I chose to live with Auntie Pauline that I don't have any claim on them. 'Claim'. That's how mother put it. I didn't think I was burdening them so much by asking how they were, by buying them gifts for Christmas, by wanting to share the good things in my life with them. The whole day was a disaster. Poor Trent just looked lost and finally left to go sit in the library to read for most of the day,” Seb related, sighing.

 

“Where is Trent now?” Blaine asked, looking around the living room.

 

“I took him to his mother's apartment. He gave up his Christmas with her just to be with me in Ohio – then it was so uncomfortable. I doubt he'll ever want to see me again,” Seb told his friends, his face in his hands again.

 

Kurt got up and walked into his bedroom, taking out his phone. He dialed Trent's number.

 

“Trent, Kurt here.”

 

“Oh! Merry Christmas, Kurt. Are you still in Ohio? Seb and I came home today, I'm sorry I missed you,” he said.

 

“Actually, we're here in New York. Blaine and I are a bit worried about Seb, though. Did he seem okay when you got home?” Kurt asked.

 

“To tell you the truth, no. No he didn't. I was worried because his parents....well, they weren't very nice to him. When we landed, he took me here to visit with my mom and he went home. I was just going to call to see if he could come get me, I don't want him to be alone for very long and Mom left for Vermont to see her sister an hour ago,” Trent told Kurt.

 

“What if I brought Seb to you? You'd have the apartment to yourselves and maybe you could console him? I mean – its none of my business what kind of relationship you have, but time with just Seb might get his mind off of his bad feelings towards his parents,” Kurt suggested.

 

“Oh, that is an excellent plan. I can cook him something wonderful and then get him into a hot bath with me...oh...sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to think out loud there. Sorry.”

 

“No problem, Trent. I was thinking along those lines for Blaine and me later this evening,” Kurt laughed to make Trent feel less awkward. Kurt could hear the happiness in Trent's voice and was thinking how far Trent had come since that fateful night so many years ago. 

 

We'll bring him along in about an hour then, give you time to get the dinner ready if you'd like,” Kurt offered.

 

“Thank you, Kurt, that is so kind of you,” Trent said sincerely. He was so happy that all the animosity was gone between them. 

 

 

Later that night, after dropping Seb at Trent's apartment and coming home to a quiet dinner that Kurt had made – pasta primavera with wine and cheesecake for dessert - Blaine was sitting on their bed taking off the clothes he'd been in all day. They had left early for the airport, had a bumpy flight, then the chaos that can only ensue in an airport the day after Christmas. Even Princess, the calmest dog on earth, had seemed agitated at the airport. It had taken a long time to find a taxi and get home followed by getting a depressed Seb over to his boyfriend's apartment. Blaine was exhausted and closed his eyes, sitting on the bed in his underwear, barely registering his boyfriend's progress toward nakedness. 

 

“Blaine? Sweetheart, you're asleep sitting up. Do you want to just lie down and go to sleep?” Kurt asked, sitting next to him and pulling him into a warm hug.

 

“No, I want to take a long, hot shower. I feel like I've been in these clothes since Moses parted the Red Sea. I need to get clean,” Blaine snickered, rubbing his scruffy chin over Kurt's tender neck. Kurt squealed in surprise and stood up. He had already disposed of his clothing and was going to coax Blaine into the tub if he could. The bath was ready and Kurt didn't want it to cool down before they got in.

 

Stepping into the tub, Blaine sat down gingerly because of the hot water, then held out his hands. Kurt took them to steady himself getting into the luxurious tub that was surrounded by candles with rose petals in the water. It smelled delightful. Kurt was in back, holding Blaine to his chest while he soaped up the sponge and washed his boyfriend's back. Blaine hummed in delight at Kurt's careful strokes as he washed the grime of all their travels and stress from his golden skin. 

 

Blaine moaned in delight at the warm water being poured over his chest to rinse the soap. He moved back a few inches towards Kurt and wiggled his ass just enough to get comfortable between Kurt's legs. He heard a slight intake of breath and smiled to himself because he knew that move would be just right to get Kurt excited. He was right and felt Kurt getting hard, so he wiggled again and leaned his back against Kurt's chest a little harder, turning his head to expose his neck to his boyfriend. 

 

 

 

“Kiss me, my love,” Blaine whispered and felt Kurt's chest breath on his chest where his wet hair had dribbled water. Blaine rolled in the big tub, splashing water as he turned to trade positions with Kurt, his body slick under the water as he came up behind his boyfriend. He closed his eyes as Kurt nipped at the tender skin, then kissed it and moved his lips to kiss under his ear. Sudden shivers took Kurt as he felt Blaine's lips and tongue caressing the nape of his neck. He knew what Kurt craved the most right now and he twisted once more to circle Kurt's body with his arms.

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine said, tugging Kurt's ass closer. 

 

“I love you, too, Blaine,” Kurt replied, meaning every word.

 

“Kurt, you know that I don't keep saying that I love you just to hear you say it back to me. I mean – I love to hear you tell me, but I say it so often because I don't want you to forget it,” Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear and he leaned forward to touch as much of Kurt as he could, spreading his chest over Kurt's back. 

 

“Oh, baby, I know that. I don't know how you could ever think that I would forget it, though. Blaine, you know you are my love, my sunshine...my very life.”

 

“And you are mine. What say we get out of this tub and into bed. I'm getting chilly.”

 

 

They stepped out of the tub, Kurt drying Blaine off with a thick Turkish towel then wrapping him in it as he dried himself. Back in their bedroom, they climbed into bed and cuddled together to keep warm. Blaine rubbed Kurt's back in small patches, then stroked down the strong muscles. Kurt practically purred in contentment. 

 

They had been awake for almost 24 hours now – waking up to get to the airport early to go through security check on a holiday, then all the trouble of the crowds at La Guardia only to come home and have to take Sebastian to Trent's apartment. Plus, with the limited amount of privacy when they visited the family back in Lima, it was time for some snuggling...and maybe a bit more.

 

“I love when you kiss my back,” Kurt said in a low voice, enjoying the little shivers of delight that ran down his spine when Blaine brushed his lips over his skin, all pink and warm from their bath. Kurt was lying on the thick Turkish towel on the bed. Blaine had started a fire in the fireplace and it was warming the room to the point they no longer needed blankets.

 

“That's a good thing because it just so happens that I love kissing your back – its like a total erogenous zone from your neck to your knees. I love the noises you make when I run my tongue over your ribs, too,” Blaine said, doing just that and laughing when Kurt squealed and giggled. 

 

“Blaine...don't tickle me! You know there's a no-tickle rule in the house,” Kurt warned.

 

“Oh, no..that's a no tickle rule at your dad's house. There is no rule here. I can tickle you all I want,” Blaine said, curling his fingers into Kurt's ribs and loving the giggle that ensued.

 

“Please, don't tickle me, Blaine. I really don't like it. I bet you can find something else to do with your talented tongue, just use your imagination,” Kurt sassed his boyfriend. 

 

Blaine didn't say any more, but his chaste kisses developed into wet, open-mouthed kisses as he began at Kurt's neck, rubbing down his spine once again but this time kissing as he went. Reaching the bottom of his spine, Blaine's hands started massaging Kurt's thighs, softly stroking then rubbing and moving them apart. He repositioned himself in between Kurt's knees and rubbed his way up to his cheeks, kissing and now licking his way to the small pink entrance as Kurt moaned so loudly he was vibrating the bed. Blaine smiled to himself. Kurt had been so reluctant to even discuss rimming, and several times Blaine had given up the idea. Once he had talked Kurt into trying it, Blaine could tell how much he loved it and tried to do it when the opportunity arose. It was the noises Kurt made that went straight to Blaine's cock, making him so hard he could barely stand it, and he found himself rutting against the blanket to try and relieve some of the pressure.

 

When Kurt realized Blaine was doing that, he moved away and rolled onto his back, coaxing Blaine up onto his chest to kiss him some more. Blaine loved kissing Kurt. His mouth was always so sensuous – his lips smooth as satin and warm, his tongue soft and talented as they moved together in a slow rhythmic dance with their hips. 

 

“Kurt?” Blaine asked between kisses.

 

“MmmmHmmm?” Kurt inquired, not stopping to articulate.

 

“Kurt....can I...can we..try something new?” Blaine asked. Kurt drew back and looked at him.

 

“New? What haven't we tried?” he asked, studying his lover's face. They had talked about other things: toys, bondage, spanking, but neither one wanted to delve into anything like that. Just the two of them together was always enough. 

 

Blaine blushed a deep red and closed his eyes for a brief moment. His long eyelashes brushed his rosy cheeks and Kurt fell in love with him just a little bit more.

 

“Ah...I read something at the library last week,” he said, but words failed him. He and Kurt could usually talk about anything, but for some reason this was caught in his throat and he couldn't say it. “Nevermind...”

 

Kurt rolled Blaine off of him, scooping him up in his arms and pulling the sheet over them. He kissed Blaine on the cheek and then on the forehead.

 

“Hey, baby, you can tell me. I won't judge you. If you want to try something, I'm up for it. You can just whisper it to me, okay?” Kurt whispered to Blaine, a little worried. Blaine wasn't the kind to be so shy about things in the bedroom with Kurt.

 

“I looked at a copy of one of those joy of sex books...for gay men. Have you ever seen one?” Blaine asked. 

 

“Yes, when I was in high school. My dad bought me one after he gave me the pamphlets, but I threw it away before I even opened the cover. Later, when we got together, I wished I'd have kept it. Wait..they have that – in the library?” 

 

“You have to ask for it, but yes, the college had a copy. I was just looking at the illustrations. I saw something that looked...I don't know, maybe ... _hot_?”

 

“Tell me, sweetheart. We can at least think about it,” Kurt encouraged.

 

“Well, it's called 'docking'. We put the tips of our cocks together and then...you pull your foreskin forward to cover ...ah...me,” Blaine whispered. He had always loved Kurt's cock, and it was the only one he'd ever seen that was uncircumcised. Not that he'd seen very many first-hand. It was always intriguing to him, but he was shy about asking Kurt about it. It seemed just too private a matter to even talk about.

 

Kurt looked at Blaine, amazed that his blush could get even deeper red. His eyes were closed once again, and Kurt kissed his cheek over and over before moving to place tiny kisses on his nose and closed eyes. 

 

“I think that might be a good thing to try,” Kurt said, kissing Blaine's temple and waiting for him to open his eyes. 

 

“What does it feel like?” Blaine asked, still not meeting Kurt's eyes. 

 

“I don't know – I've never tried it, but I'm willing to try,” Kurt said, smiling at his boyfriend.

 

“No..not docking. I mean – what does it feel like to not be cut? I guess that might be hard for you to know what I feel like since you've never experienced it.....forget I ever asked,” Blaine said, turning his head.

 

“Blaine....” Kurt said softly, gently turning Blaine's head back to look in his eyes. “I might not know exactly, but I do have feeling in my foreskin. Moving it feels really good, especially when you do anything with your tongue,” Kurt whispered. This was such an intimate thing to say, he had trouble getting it out. Blaine seemed to understand that and took a deep breath, kissing Kurt's cheek. 

 

“Your tip...its smooth compared to mine. I wonder if that's because mine was exposed to more texture?” Blaine asked and Kurt shrugged his shoulders. They leaned in to kiss again. 

 

Kurt got up on his knees and helped Blaine until their knees were almost touching. Blaine held his cock still and Kurt touched them together, pulling his foreskin gently until it covered the head of Blaine's cock, then very carefully began stroking himself. Blaine did, too, and the feeling was amazing. It was tight and rubbed in just the right amount of friction and Kurt jerked loose when Blaine unexpectedly moaned. Kurt did it again, this time Blaine kept his fingers around the dock and both stroked the other – so slowly that it might take an hour, but neither of them cared. 

 

“Oh, my glory and stars...this is amazing, Blaine,” Kurt cooed, leaning forward to give Blaine a few open-mouth kisses that turned into steaming hot kisses and left both of them dizzy and euphoric. The slick, satiny feel of Kurt on Blaine was making him curl his toes and as much as he tried to be still and quiet, just enjoy the tactile movement, he could also feel the coil of heat that started deep in his belly and gave him warning of his climax to come.

 

“Kurt...oh..ahhh, that feels so _good,_ baby....” he tried to say, but it was getting harder to concentrate with so much going on in his head. The foreskin was tight on him and gave friction and pressure that Blaine had never felt before and somewhere in his mind he was cursing his parents and the doctors that amputated this vital organ. He tugged Kurt's shoulders closer and licked down Kurt's neck, humming in pure bliss as Kurt gripped him just a bit tighter and a bit faster. The skin covering his cock head was tightest around his ridge and was rubbing in just the right place.

 

Kurt's eyes were closed, although he had watched for a short while to see how this all worked. It was a funny feeling to have the delicate skin stretched so tight, rubbing over the slightly rougher head of Blaine's cock and where they touched felt like a fire had been lit and the dynamite was going to explode soon. When Kurt quickened his pace, still careful to keep his place, Blaine followed suit and all Kurt's synapses were sparking and he knew it would be a matter of a few moments before....

 

“Ahhh..Blaineeeee.....” Kurt moaned, shivering and trembling as the sparks exploded and his vision got blurry as he came with so much power, slipping off of Blaine's cock in the process. Blaine's eyes shot open as Kurt's hand replaced the missing skin and as his nerves caught up with Kurt's, warm liquid spilled out across Kurt's belly and down the fronts of his thighs. 

 

They fell together, holding each other up as their mouths sought each other out and they kissed for the next few minutes until their hearts were calm and they lay down together on the bed. 

 

“Blaine, I think I'll get you a copy of that book for Christmas. Tell me - what else did you see on those pages.....?” Kurt asked, giggling at the look on Blaine's face.

 

“I'll show you, Mr. Hummel...just roll over here and...”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

 


	16. Twenty-Five Years Old

“Kurt!” he heard as he picked up his cell, drowsy and trying to open his eyes long enough to read the caller ID.

“Rachel?”

“Yes, of course its Rachel...I have such good news!” she squealed into the phone.

“Ah...Rachel? Did you know its four in the morning? What could be so important...” he started to say, just to be interrupted with her high-pitched voice once again.

“Kuuurrtt. Get Blaine – I have to tell you both. Or...I could come over. That might be even better. Ice the champaign and I'll grab a cab,” she offered.

“No! Ah, just a sec, I'll get Blaine. You'll never find a cab in Bushwick at this hour,” he tried to be sensible, which was always a chore when dealing with Rachel Berry.

He turned to put a gentle hand on Blaine to wake him up, always careful of the way he woke him because of the PTSD, but he found Blaine was sitting up, rubbing his eyes like a toddler.

“What's wrong?” he asked, nodding at the cell phone.

“Rachel is calling – she has news and wanted to come over with champaign, but I told her I would wake you up.”

“Put it on speaker...” Blaine said, blinking to try and wake up, “Rachel? What's up, honey?”

“Kurt? You're still there?” she asked.

“Yes, I am right here,” he said, maybe a but snappish. Rachel, of course, didn't notice.

“Okay....Finn PROPOSED!” she screamed into her phone.

“Oh, that's nice,” Kurt said. “ _About time_ ,” he whispered to Blaine.

“I heard that, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, and it wasn't funny!”

“Sorry, sweetheart, but we all knew he was going to one of these days,” Kurt said, a little sad he had burst her bubble of happiness. Rachel didn't let it get under her skin, she was too excited.

“I know- you have both been so supportive over the years. He graduated and we were fighting yesterday over whether I would leave New York even though I am on Broadway, or he would leave the place he considers his home to come to the big, bad city....and I had hung up on him because I had just about given up - - and he knocked on the door a few hours ago, and now he's going to live here and we're getting married!” Rachel said at break-neck speed. 

“I'm so happy for you, Rach!” Blaine said, hoping he could get back to sleep if she hung up soon.

“I want to take the two of you to lunch tomorrow and we can celebrate, okay? This is great!” Kurt enthused, hoping the same thing.

“Oh, thank you. I knew you would be excited. We'll meet at the that Bistro across from the drug store on 5th, okay?” Rachel said, seeming a bit distracted. They could hear the rumble of Finn's voice in the background.

“We'll be there at one. See you tomorrow, my dear,” Kurt said and the line went dead.

 

“Well, this is interesting. I wonder if they'll get married here or in Ohio?” Blaine asked.

“I don't know, but I'm helping with the wedding dress. Rachel and I have been planning our weddings for years and I can't miss this opportunity,” Kurt grinned, thinking of all the ideas they had shared over the years. He could hardly wait to begin.

“Kurt, come back to bed, baby. We have rehearsal at eight and I need sleep,” Blaine whined. They were both in the same show for once, doing a revival of CATS! In a very off-Broadway venue. They were in the fourth week of rehearsal, both knew their lines and choreography, so it was much easier to go to work than it had been just two weeks ago. 

Kurt climbed back under the sheets, and turned out the lamp. He closed his eyes, ready to fall back asleep when he felt a warm hand rub his back, gently stroking over his hipbone and across his ticklish stomach. A pair of soft lips kissed him on his neck, just under his jaw and he sighed in contentment as the hand grew bolder....he decided he didn't need all that much sleep after all.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

**Lima, Ohio six months later**

 

“I went to see Murp at the convent today,” Blaine told Kurt over lunch.

“Who? Oh, Sister Mary Paul. It just doesn't seem right to call a nun 'Murp', does it? How is she?” Kurt asked. They had made friends with the nun their last year at Dalton when she had loaned Blaine the key to the walled garden that bordered Dalton Academy grounds. After that, both boys had spent time helping the woman with various tasks: cooking for the soup kitchen, delivering Thanksgiving dinners to the needy, cleaning up the convent grounds. In return, Sister Mary Paul let them go to the walled garden for picnics and things. 

“It was her idea to call her that name, not mine. She is doing well. She had her knee replaced and is having a lot of physical therapy. Its going very well for her and she tells me her knee is not painful any more,” Blaine said. He didn't tell Kurt the real reason he'd gone to talk to her. That was a secret for now.

“Are you ready for the wedding tomorrow?” Blaine asked. He had been watching Kurt sew the bridesmaids dresses and finally Rachel's wedding dress this week. It had all seemed like some wild frenzy, but Kurt told him it was actually going quite well and it was all done -down to the last fitting of the flower girl. 

“Yes, and I think Rachel is happy with everything. Funny, I thought she would be stressed and flighty and bossy. Instead, she was happy and sweet and a delight to work with. I kept thinking – who was this woman and what did they do with my Rachel?” Kurt grinned and Blaine laughed.

“I know she will be a vision of loveliness. I really am so happy for her and Finn. In spite of all their ups and downs, I think they'll make it. Did they ever decide about where to live?” Blaine asked.

“Yes. Finn is moving in with her in New York. She is finally giving up her Bushwick loft and moving to Greenwich Village. Finn has been saving for years and they're buying a small apartment. Weren't you here when she was telling me about it?” Kurt asked.

“No, it must have been the day Princess and I went to visit Mary Paul. Okay, do I need to do anything else before tomorrow? We got the flowers, I picked up the tuxes and they are safe in the 'Oscar Room' in the Berry's basement for us to get ready in tomorrow. Let's go for a stroll before we hit the sack. How does that sound?” Blaine asked. Kurt smiled and set down the ruffle he was repairing for Carole's dress. 

 

Walking in the late afternoon sunshine, Blaine and Kurt held hands and Princess ranged behind them a little – sniffing the grass and loping forward a bit before coming back. She lifted her head and began to walk down a path, Blaine steering Kurt gently along to follow her. Kurt didn't even notice as he told Blaine stories of all the bridesmaids and how difficult they had been to fit. 

Eventually, he ran out of stories and they talked about the things they had done when they lived here, reminiscing about Dalton and their friends. They were close to Dalton, but Blaine wasn't sure if Kurt recognized the place he was headed. They were now walking beside an old brick wall when Blaine stopped.

“What's wrong? Oh, did Princess find another squirrel to chase?” Kurt asked, looking for the little setter, but Princess came around to Blaine's side and sat down. Kurt looked behind him, curious as to why Blaine had stopped, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary until he turned back and Blaine was holding out an old key. It looked familiar, but it took Kurt a few moments before he recognized it – and began searching for the door in the garden wall. 

Fitting the key into the locked door, he pushed it open and stepped into the garden. It was the 'Secret Garden' that Blaine had taken him to when they were only seventeen. 

“ _Blaine!”_ Kurt squealed, jumping into his arms. “This is the garden...I've dreamed about this garden for so long. Oh, thank you for thinking about this. I think its the prettiest place in all of Ohio,” Kurt declared. Blaine grinned. It was late summer but the garden was still blooming and so beautiful, in spite of the fact it had been left to grow wild over thirty years ago. 

Blaine took Kurt's hand and they walked around the grounds, past the lilacs that bloomed in the spring, the roses that were bearing the last of the year's blooms, the dark green groundcover that stayed green all winter. They walked all the way around until they were back at the wrought iron swing next to the rows of lilacs. Blaine took out his handkerchief and dusted off the seat, sweeping his arm for Kurt to sit. He stood, his hands in Kurt's for a moment as he lost himself in those ocean-blue eyes. Kurt smiled up at him, looking so beautiful with sun-kissed freckles across his nose and his long eyelashes sweeping his cheeks as he closed his eyes for a moment. 

Blaine sank to one knee, still looking at Kurt, noting the look of astonishment on his face as he took the little box from his jacket pocket to open and hold for Kurt to see.

Blaine stuttered for the first time since grade-school and had to start again, but he got the question out and of course Kurt said yes. They kissed for a while, the feeling so new and yet it was a feeling they had shared since the first time Blaine held out his hand and offered his friendship to Kurt back in the children's theatre when they were eight years old. Maybe they both knew, even then, that they were meant to be together for the rest of their lives.

The sun was going down, but the men remained sitting in the garden and rocking on the swing and talking about their dreams.

“What did you think about us when we were little kids?” Blaine asked.

“I knew I wanted to kiss you. I couldn't believe we were Piglet and Pooh in the play, but there was no kissing. My dad laughed at me,” Kurt said, a light blush coloring his cheeks at the memory. “You?”

“I knew you wanted me to defend you – when Rachel asked you why you cut your hair. The look on your face just told me you didn't want to tell her, so I asked her to leave you alone. You were mine, at least in my head, from the first minute and I knew I'd never let anyone take you away from me,” Blaine said with a serious face.

“I think we were too close, maybe, for a while. How did I not know you were pining for me the same way I was pining for you....and how did Dad keep our secrets? He knew we were in love long before we admitted it to each other,” Kurt shook his head.

“Before we admitted it to ourselves, I think,” Blaine added.

“Blaine, if you could go back and change anything – would you?” Kurt asked. So much had happened to Blaine in those years, did he regret anything he had done, anything he'd had control over?

“Actually, I used to think that a lot – if only. If only Cooper's girlfriend hadn't molested me, if only we didn't get beat up at the dance, if only Trent hadn't lost his mind that night.....but really, Kurt, I don't think I would. If I hadn't had bad things happen, I might not have held on to you for dear life and I can't imagine a day that I might have turned a different way, met someone else, moved on from you. I'd like to think it wouldn't have happened, but you never know. If you are the reward for living through that hell, then I think I've won it all,” Blaine said, looking deep into Kurt's eyes so Kurt would know he told the truth. 

“Blaine, you saved me every bit as much as I saved you and you know it. From the first moment I felt your warm hand slipping into mine to give me courage the first day, to the night I found you had followed me to camp...every minute since then...Blaine you have saved me. I know we belong together, we are destined to spend the rest of our lives hand in hand – don't you think?” Kurt asked, bringing Blaine's hand to cover his heart.

“I think we are. No, I _know_ we are, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Now, its getting dark. I think we better get back to Papa Hummel's castle before we turn into pumpkins,” Blaine kidded. He stood up, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him up and into his waiting arms. He kissed Kurt over and over before he whistled for Princess and they walked out of the garden and back to Kurt's old Navigator for the drive home to Lima.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Oh, Rachel was so beautiful!” Blaine enthused, “Her dress was a dream, and I'm so proud of you.” 

“Thank you. The music was inspired and both Finn and Rachel were over the moon when they heard the song you wrote for the wedding. When did you do that?” Kurt asked.

“While you were sewing – I had to do something with my time while you ignored me,” Blaine pouted, his lower lip sticking out. Kurt giggled.

“How was I supposed to sew a hundred yards of chiffon with you on my lap, Mr. Anderson?” Kurt asked, a sly smile hidden on his face as he pressed into Blaine's neck to kiss him.

Blaine just giggled back. 

They swayed to the music, hardly noticing the other people on the dance floor at the wedding until Santana and Brittany danced closer. 

“I'm cutting in,” Santana said, trading Britt for Blaine as they continued dancing.

“Hey, I'm leading...” Kurt said, then looked at Santana's face and grinned. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Of course, my pretty pony. You cut a mean rug,” she said, actually smiling at Kurt as they danced across the floor where Puck was dancing with Lauren. Once more partners were traded and Kurt found himself leading Lauren. 

All of the friends danced through the evening, Kurt even getting to dance with Finn for a few steps as they laughed at the memory of their dance at their parents' wedding. 

Blaine made his way back to Kurt and they danced over to the doors of the balcony. Stepping outside, they walked arm in arm over to the railing and looked across the Berry's back lawn.

“When do you want to get married?” Blaine asked. “Ohio doesn't recognize same sex couples yet, so we might have to do it in New York.”

“Blaine, I can say it doesn't matter as long as I get to marry you – but we both know our hearts are here with our families. I've been thinking that we could maybe do the civil ceremony at the courthouse in New York, then come here and have a wedding. I don't want some lawmaker or conservative politician telling me I can't marry the love of my life in the place that is dearest to my heart.” Kurt sounded upset, but Blaine knew how he felt. They might not want to live in Ohio, but their families were here, they had grown up here, their friends were here. Plus, Blaine had a good idea of where he wanted to have the ceremony.

“Baby, I think that is exactly what we'll do. Let's get married in the spring, okay? We don't have any birthdays or other anniversaries in the family in the first part of May. How does that sound? May first, next year?”

“Its a date!” Kurt leaned forward and captured Blaine's lips. “I love you so much, Blaine. You are the best thing in my life and always will be.”

“I could say the same, my love. Let's go home. I'm tired and all I want is to snuggle with you in that tiny bed in Papa Burt's basement,” Blaine grinned, taking Kurt's hand.

“You just want to have sex with me..” Kurt whispered and Blaine giggled.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Several months later, Kurt walked in the door of their New York apartment. Blaine was sitting at the table, his head in his hands and his cell phone to his ear. Kurt could tell from his posture that he was upset and he looked ready to cry. Kurt asked with a facial expression if Blaine needed him now or if it was private, but all Blaine did was shrug and wilt. He ended the conversation and set the cell down as if it were made of glass. 

“Hey, what's wrong, baby?” Kurt asked. He glanced around and decided Seb and Trent weren't home. 

Blaine just sat for a minute, very still with a bewildered expression on his face. He coughed and cleared his throat, swallowing several times, and then finally looked at Kurt. It was then that the tears came, running down his face and sobs coming from his chest – his arms held out for Kurt. There was something wrong, something missing and Kurt was ready to panic when he realized what it was. Blaine was crying and Princess was not pressing herself against him; not placing her front legs in his lap and reaching her silky red head up to kiss his face.

“Oh, my god, Blaine...where is Princess?” he gasped, looking at Blaine's red eyes with tears streaming down his cheeks. “Oh, Blaine..what happened?” Princess had been practically joined to his hip since he was fifteen years old.

Blaine looked up and hiccuped.

“She's at the vet. They made me come home, Kurt. They wouldn't let me stay with her....” he said, standing up and throwing his arms around Kurt so that he practically knocked him over. Kurt nudged his fiancé over to the sofa and sat him down. Kurt Knelt in front of Blaine, took his hands and looked deep into his eyes.

“Okay, tell me everything. When I left for rehearsal you and Princess were fine. What happened?” Kurt asked.

Blaine told him through sobs. “I was walking her over to that little park kitty-corner from the pastry shop. We started across the street – she was on her leash – and the guy turned on a posted 'no turn' light and he almost hit me. She saw what was about to happen, I guess, because she knocked me down and the car hit her instead. The guy stopped and was really sorry and everything. He took her in his car and we rushed her to the vet,” Blaine explained. 

“What did the vet say? Is she going to be all right?” Kurt asked, taking in the pallor and dark circles under Blaine's eyes. His eyes were swollen and the sadness was seeping out of every pore.

“Her leg was broken and maybe her hip. They were taking X-rays, but she cried so much they were going to have to sedate her. I called Seb and he came and brought me home. I've been waiting for them to call. I just got off the phone, but the vet doesn't have all the results yet. He's in with her now,” Blaine said.

“You should have called me,” Kurt said.

“You were in rehearsal and your phone was off. I was just about to call the theater manager when I heard your key in the door. I knew you couldn't do anything until I heard back...” Blaine said. Kurt leaned forward and put his arms around Blaine's shoulders.

“We'll get her the best surgeon in the world, baby. I promise we'll do everything possible for her,” he said, patting Blaine on the back and sending a silent prayer to his mother just in case she might be able to look out for the dog for them.

 

An hour later, the vet called back. Princess had broken her leg in two places but the hip wasn't damaged as they had first thought. He had set the break in the leg with a plate that would have to be removed at a later time. Blaine could pick her up in the morning if she had a quiet night. 

“See, Babe, she is going to be okay. We'll have the whole weekend to spoil her, I don't have to be back at the theater until Monday afternoon. What's your schedule?” Kurt asked.

“About the same. Since I'm understudy for this production, I don't need to be there unless they call and I know John won't miss a single performance. He never does,” Blaine told Kurt. “Its the first time I'm glad of his record,” he said with a weak attempt at a smile. At least the tears had stopped.

 

Princess came home the next day, confined to the floor ie. no jumping on sofa or bed, no climbing stairs, and no walks for the first three weeks. In spite of being ten years old, she was in excellent health which was what had saved her in the end. When Kurt called his dad to tell him about the accident, Burt reminded his son that Irish Setters often lived to be fifteen or more years. Nobody was looking forward to the day Princess was going to be gone from their lives.

Over the next month, Princess got better in leaps and bounds, ever eager to be going with Blaine whenever he left the apartment. With the vet's approval, Princess went for her first walk with Kurt and Blaine on a chilly day in November. She seemed to be back to her old self, but Blaine noticed that she was a bit slower than she used to be and she was sleeping more. 

Kurt began to worry about the day Princess wouldn't be with them any more and dreading it. He wondered if getting a new puppy now might help? Probably not. Did Blaine even need Princess for the same reason he used to – he didn't really have any panic attacks any more that Kurt could see, but Blaine had hidden them from him in the past. In the end, he just tried not to worry about it.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Christmas had come and gone, both Kurt and Blaine had been in shows through the holidays so there had been no trip home to Ohio for them. Burt, Carole, and Blaine's father, Palmer, came to visit. They had a nice time together but it was such a fast visit and work was waiting. 

Life had changed for both of them. As roles on Broadway got bigger and better, it got harder to walk out in public. Fans followed them to restaurants and even followed Blaine to the park when he walked Princess – the dog even had her own fan club. Blaine took it with good grace, chatting with people who stopped him on the street. Kurt was perhaps less gregarious, but never rude. Rachel loved every minute of it and would stand at the stage door and talk to the little girls who adored her for an hour past closing.

 

**March, New York City**

 

_Ring._

_**Hello?** _

_ Rachel, this is Kurt. _

_**I know it's you. What can I do for you, honey?** _

_ Blaine and I were wondering what you and Finn were doing this afternoon? _

_**Not much. I was thinking of going to the dressmaker, but that can be rearranged. Why?** _

_ Can you meet us at the courthouse at 2? _

_**Of course. What's going on?** _

_ Just be there. Dress nice. _

 

That afternoon, Rachel showed up on the steps of the courthouse holding Finn's hand tightly.

“I don't know, Finn – he sounded excited and asked us to meet him here. Wait, there's Seb and Trent. Maybe they know what's going on?”

Seb walked over to Rachel, giving her a quick hug and Fin a friendly handshake, Trent gave both of them handshakes. Rachel smiled and asked if they knew what was up.

“No clue. Blaine said this was a central place to meet, but he was being very mysterious about the reason. I know Kurt's birthday isn't until May and Blaine's was back in February...maybe they found their new apartment? I kept telling them mine is big enough for all of us but they have been looking for one going on three months now,” Seb explained.

“I guess we'll find out soon enough. Here they are,” Trent smirked, nodding at a taxi that had stopped at the front steps. Kurt had emerged in a white tux and handed Blaine out, dressed in the very same tux but in white. Both had pale green cummerbunds and bowties. Princess came next sporting a large pink and green bow attached to her service harness and wagging her tail. Their smiles outshone anything they were wearing, though, and the same thought came to each of their friends at the same time.

“Oh, my God. They're getting married!” Rachel squealed. 

“I knew it! Kurt! Come here, Bro,” Finn shouted, gathering his brother in his arms but careful not to wrinkle the tux. He turned to Blaine to give him a hug, too.

“Hey, be careful...” Kurt admonished, but there was no venom in it. Kurt's smile was pure and genuine as he hugged his brother back. Gone was the fumbling, clumsy boy of their teen years. Finn was dressed in a nice suit with a dark green tie and a crisp white shirt. He looked every inch the dignified psychologist that he was now. Rachel was dressed in a dark gray wool suit with a pink silk blouse which just happened to match the grooms. 

Seb was now working for his father's company and dressed as the business executive he was, Trent dressed in a similar fashion although he wasn't working yet. 

“Let's all go in – our appointment is in fifteen minutes and I don't want to be late,” Blaine said, sounding nervous and taking Kurt's hand. He leaned close and gave him a kiss on the cheek before leading him into the building.

All four of their friends were allowed to sign as witnesses and the party went to Sardi's for an early supper.

“So, why all the secrecy – and I can't believe you got married at the courthouse with no wedding ceremony? Kurt, we've been dreaming of having a huge wedding since we were little children,” Rachel asked. She was happy to be included in the civil wedding, but still disappointed to lose her chance to be matron of honor at Kurt and Blaine's extravaganza that she had pictured.

“Aww, did you want a pretty dress and a wedding cake?” Kurt teased. Rachel stuck out her lower lip and pouted like she used to in kindergarten – a habit she never lost throughout high school, college, and now.

“Well, I think we can make that dream come true,” Blaine giggled, taking her hand and kissing it. He winked at Finn who laughed, too.

“Ah...are we having the reception at the apartment?” Trent asked.

“You better be hiring caterers, I'm not cleaning up after that party no matter how close we are,” Seb said. Nobody thought he was kidding. 

“Actually, you are all cordially invited to attend what we will consider our real wedding in Lima, Ohio on May first. Since Ohio and its backwards politicians haven't allowed equality in marriage yet, we had to do it here to make it legal, but we're having the wedding there in May,” Kurt announced. 

Blaine poured the champaign and everyone toasted the grooms, promising to be there for the 'real' wedding in May. Princess laid down beside her master, eating the little tidbits he was sneaking her under the table and waving her tail.

 

Hours after the dinner party, Seb and Trent were spending the night at Trent's mom's apartment so as to leave the new grooms a night by themselves. 

Kurt took off the tuxedo he had made, hanging all the pieces up in the closet to be used for the big wedding in May. He was just a bit apprehensive because while he and Rachel had planned their weddings down to the last flower, Blaine had stated that he was taking over the venue and flowers so Kurt could concentrate on the clothes and music. Kurt wanted to do it all, but Blaine was not budging an inch on his stand and so Kurt graciously let him be – then called his father to complain. Burt backed Blaine up as did Carole and Palmer. Kurt gave up. None of it really mattered if he got to call Blaine his husband for the rest of his life.

Blaine came out of the bathroom, freshly showered and bringing a stack of tuxedo parts on hangers to be stored in the closet. He smiled at Kurt, sort of shy.

“Blaine? Are you nervous? Its not as if we have never done this before you know...” Kurt soothed the beautiful man sitting across from him on a chair. Both men were wearing their pajama pants and Kurt walked over to lean down and take the towel from Blaine's hand. He began drying his curls, fluffing them and finally setting the towel aside to kiss his ear and the nape of his neck. 

“I'm not...not afraid or anything, but maybe a bit nervous. I can hardly believe my dreams have come true, Kurt. You're mine. Mine forever. I know its only a piece of paper, that it is a man-made convention that isn't even afforded to everyone. But it means so, so much to me,” Blaine said in a soft voice, not sure Kurt felt the same way.

“I get to call you 'husband', Blaine. I have been dreaming of this day since we were teenagers. There were times I thought I might lose you, times I thought you had lost yourself and this would never happen. I know I would never have left you, baby, but I didn't know what form it would take. To see you here with me, whole and healthy, happy and so full of life – its the best gift I could ever have. Honestly? It makes me believe in God again. Who else could have given you to me?” Kurt said, tears stinging his eyes as he cupped Blaine's chin in his palm and kissing him. 

“I love you, Kurt, and I pray we'll never be parted,” Blaine said, standing up and taking Kurt's hand once again. “Let's go to bed now.”

 

The lights of New York were visible through the open windows that led to the balcony outside the bedroom, giving them just enough light to see what they needed to. Kurt and Blaine shed their clothes before getting into bed, quickly moving close to each other and lying in each other's arms. They kissed for a long time, speaking soft whispers of love and faith and hope as they rediscovered each other. 

“I want to make love, Kurt...not anything else. Just make love tonight,” Blaine whispered into Kurt's skin as he kissed down his chest.

“Where do you want me?”

“I want to be on top tonight, if that's okay. We can get each other ready first, in case we change our minds?” Blaine suggested and Kurt got out the new bottle of astroglide. Kurt spread the slick substance on his fingers, sliding the first one in and trembling as he felt and heard Blaine moan. Earlier in their lovemaking years they had often done it in a 69 manner, both offering stimulation to the other at the same time, but as they got used to their bodies they agreed it was so much better to concentrate on one at a time. 

“Mmmmm...yes, babe, right there,” Blaine whispered, his legs quivering as he opened up and relaxed for Kurt. He could hear Kurt's breath quicken with every slide and it wasn't long before he was using two, then three fingers. Kurt was careful not to spend too much time with rubbing past the bundle of nerves that made Blaine gasp because he wanted this to last all night. Blaine stopped him and moved to sit up, taking Kurt in his arms to lie him down on the bed.

“Ready?” he asked and Kurt nodded, his erection hard and wanting. Blaine covered his fingers with lube and entered Kurt slowly, a bit surprised as Kurt bucked his hips up to encourage Blaine to go faster. Blaine leaned over to kiss Kurt, drawing slow circles with his tongue down his chest and abdomen as he slowly stretched his husband, making him ready. Kurt couldn't help but reach and take Blaine's cock in his hand, gently moving his fingers over the surface as Blaine prepared him. 

It was like a dance, slow and rhythmic, loving and making Kurt feel as though he was being cared for in every inch of his being. His love for Blaine was overflowing, his mind concentrating on every touch, every movement. The tempo increased, Blaine moving at a quickened pace as he felt the warmth gathering in his spine, down to the lower quadrant of his belly like a snake coiling to strike. His breaths came fast and loud, his muscles burning as he held Kurt up while he thrust into him. 

“Blaine...oh, slow down, it will come too quickly, baby, and I want it to last...” Kurt managed to say and Blaine slowed, the rhythm of it changing as he caught his breath and felt the warmth waiting for him. Blaine pulled out reluctantly, his body screaming at him to stay but he resisted. Kurt grasped him around the shoulders, not understanding why he'd stopped but not protesting.

Blaine lay beside Kurt, keeping contact with his hands as he stroked down Kurt's sides, moving up and down his chest and thighs until he could hear the pleading in the noises Kurt made.

“Come and take me now,” he whispered into Kurt's ear and he felt his husband's heart rate increase as he moved to do just that.

Entering Blaine, Kurt felt the heat and the velvety touch gripping him as he pushed gently forward, Blaine's moans his reward for each thrust. Kurt opened his eyes, looking into Blaine's golden depths and seeing his love returned. They were meant to be together. Kurt wanted to go slowly, he really did, but his body had been denied once and wasn't going to be denied again. He found himself thrusting faster and harder than he meant to and tried to slow, but Blaine had his hands on Kurt's back as he pulled him closer, faster...and nothing was going to stop it as they were both striving for perfection in the final seconds. Kurt burst into Blaine with a flood of warm semen that thrummed through his whole body, bringing Blaine along with him and they moaned and shouted out their love. They stayed wrapped around each other through the night, waking up to make love again and falling back to sleep cuddled together again and again. 

 


	17. Twenty-Six Years Old

“I don't know, Kurt, is it close enough to everything?” Blaine asked. They had spent another fruitless day looking at apartments in New York and not finding the one that called their names. 

“Just say you don't like it. You don't have to be diplomatic or form nice words about an apartment you don't want, Blaine. Let's just go get something to eat,” Kurt groused. Nothing they had seen was what they wanted and it was beginning to wear on him. They had agreed on several things: they needed a secure, private building with a doorman. Their fans, while for the most part were very respectful, a few were clingy and a few didn't know boundaries. 

Last week Kurt had been walking with Rachel from the theater to find a taxi when a fan had followed them, begging for Kurt to sign her breast – which she bared for him in spite of his protests. Rachel had screeched loudly enough for the security guard at the theater to come and take the woman away.

“We can go back to looking tomorrow, Kurt. I'm bushed and we have lunch planned with Finn, remember?” Blaine mentioned.

“Oh, right...that was today. Okay, its only a few blocks from the bookstore, so we can go pick up the books I ordered and make it just in time,” Kurt said and they smiled at each other before taking hands and Blaine whistled for a taxi.

 

“We're supposed to be meeting my brother here at one,” Kurt said to the hostess as they removed their jackets and gave them to the hat check girl. 

“Hudson?” the woman asked and Kurt nodded. “Right this way – and if you don't mind me saying so, I loved you in West Side Story, Mr. Anderson. You were the best Tony ever.”

“Ah, you must be mistaking me for someone else? I've never played Tony on Broadway,” Blaine said, a confused smile on his face. He was starring in “How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” right now.

The woman giggled. 

“Oh, Blaine – don't you recognizing me?” she asked. He looked at her critically when Kurt grabbed his sleeve.

“Harmony?” he said, grinning.

“The very same. I was so pleased to see the two of you make it – maybe a bit less to see Rachel, too. We were big competitors, you know,” the woman laughed. She had been in a rival show choir and was on the wait list for NYADA when Rachel was a student there.

“Rachel is doing well, she is between shows right now because she's expecting. She is planning to announce it later this week. Too bad, she was so excited to play Princess Jasmine,” Blaine added.

Kurt pulled out his phone as it vibrated.

“Oh, look – speak of the devil, its Rachel calling. Please excuse me for a second,” Kurt said while Blaine chatted with Harmony as he waited for Finn. Kurt was back in a few moments.

“Harmony, Rachel says to tell you hello and that if you call this number and mention you are a friend of hers, you can probably get an audition for Jasmine. They want to recast the understudy before she makes her announcement. Aladdin the Musical still has probably another year to run, so I”d get over there if you can.” 

Kurt would have fallen if Blaine hadn't grabbed his arm because Harmony threw herself at him, kissing all over his face with her bright red lipstick. He laughed and gently pushed her back.

“Oh, thank you, Kurt...this is the best thing that's happened to me since I set foot in New York!” she squealed. 

“Well, it's just an audition, it isn't an offer – but from what I remember of you singing 'Buenos Aires' from Evita, you'll shine. Good Luck, and if you get the part we'll be there to cheer you on.”

Harmony led them to their table just as Finn walked in the door. She smiled and said goodbye and walked back to her station, her head in the clouds. Finn walked by her, then did a bit of a double take.

“Yes, it's her,” Kurt grinned as his brother sat down across from them.

“Harmony?” Finn asked.

“Yeah, Rachel called just as we recognized her and told her about the auditions for Jasmine. Harmony's going to try out I think,” Blaine said.

“That was nice,” Finn smiled. There was a day when Rachel hadn't been such a charitable person. She had grown up a lot since her high school day and having Finn as a husband made her even more sweet.

“So, how excited are you about the new little bundle?” Blaine asked. “Rachel was so excited that you hardly got a word in edgewise.”

“Yeah, she's pretty stoked. She could probably work another six weeks, but the doctor was a bit worried about her blood pressure and I think we'd rather be cautious for now,” Finn replied.

“Uncle Blaine,” Kurt said, looking at his husband with a bright smile.

“Well, that makes you Uncle Kurt then,” Finn laughed. 

The waitress came and took their orders.

“Now, let me get to why I asked you two to have lunch with me today,” Finn stated when their lunch was served. Kurt and Blaine both looked interested. Princess picked up her head from her paws to look at Blaine, then waved her tail and laid back down for a nap.

“Well, I opened the clinic a few months ago, and everything is going great. I was thinking that even though you have a lot on your plates already, you might want to join me for a special project – after all, it was inspired by you. I was thinking we could get it up and running this summer maybe....”

The lunch lasted almost two hours as the plans for the new project were discussed and a lot of fun and memories finally started to be talked about. It had been a long time since Kurt had the time to just sit and talk to his brother and Blaine was every bit as enthused. He had spent almost as much time with Finn as Kurt had, after all.

“I better get home to Rachel, she just sent me a text that she's craving chop suey and ice cream. Where can I get vegetarian chop suey?” Finn asked, grinning. 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

The early spring was chilly in New York and both Kurt and Blaine had curtailed their schedules knowing the wedding was about to take over their lives. They may have been legally married, but it wasn't real to them until they walked down that aisle on their fathers' arms. 

Rachel, as the matron of honor, had to have panels put into her dress to accommodate her ever-increasing waistline. Several of the others were hard to fit from long distance and it was finally decided that the boys would go to Lima a week in advance to work on the clothes for some of the wedding party. 

Kurt had met Rachel at Tiffany's one day to shop for Blaine's ring in secret. He knew what he wanted, but it was so much better to have someone to flail over the rings with. Unbeknown to Kurt, Blaine had also asked Rachel to accompany him to Tiffany's and she steered him to buy the same ring, which he did without a clue that they would have matching wedding rings. Rachel, for the first time in her life, kept the secret, but inside she was clapping and jumping up and down to know how perfect this was going to go.

 

The day in May was approaching when Blaine let Kurt know that he had to go to Westerville a few days early to do some last minute prep for the venue. Kurt had been having nightmares of silly places Blaine might choose for the wedding: King's Island Amusement Park's roller coaster with the grooms shouting out 'I do' from the front car as they screamed through a wild turn and drop; having the whole wedding party in boats on the lake, paddling into position as the officiant tried to balance while reading the vows...all kinds of wild things went through Kurt's head making him wake up with a jerk, sweating and cursing.

“Hey, Kurt...was that another one?” Blaine asked the week before the wedding. “Where did you dream about this week?”

“It was the worst one yet – Breadstix. And everyone was throwing those horrible breadsticks at us instead of rice and one hit you in the head and we were off to the hospital with you having a concussion...” Kurt said all in one breath, but Blaine was laughing so hard Kurt turned his back and threatened to go sleep on the sofa. Blaine, of course, settled him down with some kisses leading from his chest up to his neck and to that tender spot under his ear, kissing softly and humming the wedding march as he coaxed Kurt to lie back down and go back to sleep.

Kurt suddenly sat up, knowing exactly where Blaine had booked the wedding. It was formal and so beautiful and Kurt knew it would be perfect. The staircase at Dalton where they had waltzed all the way down stairs to Blaine singing 'Teenage Dream' the first week they were going to school there. The school had been mostly empty and nobody was in that hall that day. Blaine was feeling particularly romantic and Kurt was loving every minute of it when Blaine took his hand and they went down the curved stairs, dancing like Fred and Ginger without a missed step between them. Kurt smiled, happy he had figured out Blaine's little secret – although he would act surprised on the day and not ruin his fun.

 

Back in Lima, Burt had picked up both Blaine and his dad at the airport – Kurt would be coming later with Rachel and Finn. There were a lot of things to do before Kurt got there and the plan was to not let Kurt and Blaine see each other until the actual wedding. 

The first thing Blaine did was go to visit a friend and do some final arrangements, writing a big check from his trust fund to cover the cost of his surprise. 

The week was hard work getting everything ready, but it was fun and Blaine was pleasantly surprised at the help he got from his former Warbler brothers in getting everything perfect. 

 

Kurt was so nervous – he might have danced down that staircase six years ago, but he wasn't sure he could navigate it today and he wanted to practice. He had been walking up and down the stairs with every kind of step and dance move he could recall whenever nobody could see him. His friends were there to help – Mercedes and Tina had been right by his side all week, helping with all the last minute errands and fittings. The wardrode mistress from Kurt's last Broadway show had come to do final fittings and help Kurt, too. 

They had done all of this while dodging the media and fans – which was probably easier for Broadway actors than it was for an actor in a movie or television show, but annoying to say the least. So far, it was still a very well-kept secret and no reporters or fans had shown up. 

 

It was the morning of the wedding and Kurt got up early. Well, he hadn't even gone to bed the night before, he was so nervous. Seb and Trent came over to see if they could calm his nerves while Rachel and Finn were guests at the Anderson mansion to keep Blaine busy and distracted. 

“How are you feeling?” Seb asked, walking into Blaine's childhood bedroom. 

“Good. Nervous....but good. In just under three hours, I'm going to be married to the only man I've ever loved, to the love of my life. How can anyone's life be better than that?” he asked. Princess, lying on the rug by the bed, wagged her tail. She knew her master was happy, although of course she had no idea why. Seb was going to take her to the wedding because both men refused to get married without the 'best girl in their lives'. Kurt had talked Blaine out of making her the flower girl, though. 

 

“Thank you, Seb. You have been the best friend we could ever have had. I love you,” Blaine said, hugging the man close to his chest and holding him there for a few minutes, trying not to let the tears fall. 

“Well, we can get in a quickie before we leave for the ceremony if you want,” Seb winked, knowing it would make Blaine laugh. It did. 

 

At the Hummel house, Rachel and Finn were talking to Kurt for a few minutes. They were leaving first, then Mercedes and Tina would go with Kurt.

 

“Did you sign on the new house yet?” Finn asked, knowing that they had finally found a place they loved. 

“Yeah, I have, but I kind of forgot to mention it to Blaine. I thought I could have you and Sebastian supervise the moving of our things to the new house while we're on our honeymoon?” he asked.

“No problem. We had that worked out before when you guys thought you got the place in Morningside, but the Upper West is so much better. Do you have the keys? Oh, and the exact address?” Finn asked as Kurt dug through his bag to find the extra set. 

“Okay. Just...well, I have the new furniture ready to be delivered on the 6th, right? You know which room is ours and all...” Kurt said.

“Bro, I know which rooms, I have the list of phone numbers, I know what you want on the bedroom walls. I can even make the bed up with those sinfully soft sheets you and Anderson are addicted to. Everything will be ready when you get home on the 15th. Okay?” Finn asked, patient for once.

Kurt threw his arms around his brother and kissed his cheek. Finn was startled, but took it in good humor, grinning when Kurt winked at him. Rachel pinched Kurt's side and wagged a finger at him,” Uh-uh, that's my husband, Kurt. You have your own, sweetie. Speaking of, we had best get going. I'll see you at the wedding!” she smiled, kissing Kurt's cheek and hugging him before leaving. 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blaine arrived at the wedding venue just a little early. Kurt thought they were starting at noon, but Blaine had called everyone to tell them it was really eleven so Kurt would be the last one to arrive. The man prayed that his plans would work out. It mostly depended on a few key players, but he knew Burt and Mercedes would be able to handle a nervous Kurt. 

 

Everyone had arrived and the cars were all hidden a short distance away. There were three horse-drawn carriages that had brought all the guests to the place and they were all seated when Burt drove by Dalton Academy. Kurt suddenly looked up from where he was in the back, holding Mercedes hand while Tina sat in the front with Burt. 

“Hey, Dad...you missed the turn for Dalton. Oh, you can still get in the teacher's parking lot from here,” he said. 

“I can drive, Kurt. Quit worrying, okay?” Burt said, doing a great job of keeping his smile to himself.

“Here, let's make sure your hair is right,” Mercedes distracted him.

Burt pulled up in the Dalton parking lot and the girls helped Kurt out. He was looking at his father, wondering why he had parked so far from the doors when he heard Tina gasp. He turned quickly to see a Cinderella carriage drive up, four white horses pulling it with the driver and a footman in old-fashioned costumes to help the passengers. His eyes got huge as he looked at his father – who could no longer keep the smile from his face.

Kurt was absolutely speechless as the footman held out a hand to Kurt, who entered the carriage to sit next to his father. Mercedes and Tina sat across from them. 

It was a short ride to the edge of the park in back of Dalton, then down the path and along an old brick wall to an open oak door leading to a quiet garden.

Blaine was standing at the entrance, his face revealing his nerves until he caught sight of Kurt – and the sun never shown brighter than that man's smile. He met the carriage and held Kurt's hand as he walked as if in a dream to his groom, throwing his arms around Blaine's shoulders.

“Oh, Kurt, are you crying? Don't cry, baby, you're getting married in a few minutes and I want you to be beautiful,” Blaine whispered in his ear. Kurt brushed the tears from his face and Blaine touched his cheek, removing the last one. Palmer Anderson was waiting for Blaine as the wedding party started down the aisle: Tina and Seb, Mercedes and Trent, Finn and Rachel. Then Palmer took Blaine's arm and Burt took Kurt's and they entered the Secret Garden.

The entire garden was in bloom, from the tulips and daisies to the roses and lilacs, the natural perfume of spring making the whole place a wonderland. Kurt bit the inside of his cheek and held tightly to his father's hand as he walked down the path between the climbing roses and the lilac bushes, taking a deep breath of the scent that reminded him of such amazingly good memories in this garden. Kurt wondered briefly if he was dreaming and he trembled at the over-stimulation as he followed Blaine down the aisle. Burt felt the quiver and held his son's arm tighter.

“Kurt, are you alright?” he whispered and Kurt gave him a sweet smile and a nod. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet. Burt knew and smiled at Kurt, so proud of his son and wishing Elizabeth could be here today to see her boy on his wedding day. He knew she would love Blaine and that set his heart easy.

They got to the end of the aisle, the officiant standing under the blooming cherry tree and smiling at the men before him.

He spoke the words Kurt and Blaine had written together, then asked for the rings. Finn and Seb handed them to him and he blessed them, handing Blaine's to Kurt and Kurt's to Blaine. There was a second of panic as the grooms thought they had them mixed up, then a ray of sunshine as Rachel nudged them and they realized it was the same design – one with Blaine's initials and one with Kurt's.

They placed the rings on their grooms' hands and the ceremony was done. The priest pronounced them married. They kissed the traditional ceremonial kiss and a cheer went up all over the garden. They were led by their fathers to the other side where a dance floor had been constructed and a quartet played music. 

It was a beautiful wedding, even if it wasn't the legally binding one, but that part didn't matter to the grooms. They danced with each other and with each and every guest at the small wedding. They cut the cake and were very sweet and fed each other carefully, neither wanting smeared frosting on their lovely clothes. 

Blaine pulled Kurt away, walking to the secluded spot under the overhanging lilacs on the little stone bench and patted it so Kurt would sit beside him.

“I love my ring, Blaine. You have such good taste,” Kurt smirked, looking at his new husband. Blaine giggled.

“So, Rachel went with you, too, I'm guessing?” 

“Yeah....did she influence you?” Kurt asked.

“I don't think so...you?” Blaine asked.

“I didn't think so, either. Maybe we just picked the same one?” Kurt asked, then smiled. That was entirely possible. He and Blaine had thought about a wedding and clothes and rings for so long, they might very well have picked the same one, Rachel escorting them or not.

 

“I got you a present, my love,” Blaine said, looking up when he heard the bushes rustle – but it was just Princess, coming to sit by her master. Kurt grinned at the dog and stroked her ears.

“What is it?” Kurt asked, his eyes sparkling, “Because getting you as my husband was the best gift I could ever receive.” Blaine ducked his head and blushed, sneaking a hand close to touch Kurt's fingertips.

“This is just a bit more. Here, open it,” Blaine said and took a wrapped box from his coat pocket. Kurt took it and removed the paper, opening the box to find an antique key. He knew it was the key to the garden, but...? He looked in puzzlement at Blaine.

“Ah...I bought you a garden.”

“What?” Kurt said in astonishment, looking at Blaine's beautiful, rich hazel eyes in wonder.

“Sister Mary Paul called me a few weeks ago and told me the church was going to sell this property. She knew how much we loved it and I called the Arch Diocese and gave them an offer. They accepted and...now it's ours.”

“Oh, Blaine. You are the best husband that ever walked this Earth. I love you so, so much,” Kurt said, throwing his arms around Blaine and kissing him until he had to struggle to get a breath.

“I love you, too, baby. Let's get back to our beloved guests. We leave late tomorrow for our honeymoon, but I think we might have time to come visit the garden in the morning,” Blaine whispered, kissing his husband's neck very softly. 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

After the wedding and garden party reception, the guests were escorted back to their cars by the footmen in the horse-drawn carriages. Most thought that the grooms had left, but Kurt and Blaine were sitting in the far corner of the garden on a swing. They sat, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes, lost in the overwhelming love that they shared that day. They eventually strolled through the garden, smelling the abundant flowers and just talking about how beautifully the ceremony had gone. When they got to the entrance, Kurt took the key from his coat pocket and locked the oak gate, smiling at Blaine.

 

The newly married grooms walked back to the lilac bushes, sitting on the stone bench. Blaine reached under the bench and pulled out a quilt, spreading it out and taking Kurt's hand to bring him closer. The stars were bright and the moon was full, bathing them in silver light as they removed their clothes and came together, standing on the quilt. Kurt touched Blaine's shoulders, pulling him close and kissed his temple and down his cheek, feeling the muscles of his face as he smiled.

“I do love you so much, Kurt. I knew we were meant for each other from the very beginning, and I know we'll be together until the end of time, won't we?” he asked – but he already knew the answer. Kurt smiled back and nodded his head in agreement.

“We will, Blaine. There was never anyone for me but you, and there never will be.”

Blaine took Kurt's hand and brought him down to sit on the quilt, shifting so they were side by side: Kurt facing west and Blaine facing east so they could get closer together and share as much skin as possible. Blaine's kisses started on Kurt's wrist, his soft lips barely brushing across the tender skin and making his lover shiver. He followed the blue veins that he could see, even in the moonlight, up his arm – stopping to feel the hard muscle of his bicep under the soft skin, and on to his shoulder. Kisses fell on the light freckles of Kurt's back, then Blaine started on the other wrist and kissed his way to the junction of the shoulder with Kurt's long swan-like neck. 

“Blaine, that feels so good. I feel so pampered when I'm with you, you are always the perfect lover, so considerate, so sexy,” Kurt said in a soft voice, touching Blaine's cheek as he changed positions. 

Closing his eyes and drawing deep breaths to bring the lilac scent into his lungs, Kurt lifted his chin and turned his head a bit to his right so Blaine's tongue could find the sensitive place at the side of his neck, fingers feather-light on the nape and making his body quiver in anticipation. 

“Blaine....” he breathed, knowing that his husband would understand that he was surrendering his whole body and soul to Blaine's keeping. 

Blaine kissed down Kurt's spine, his fingers tracing along the ribs with a light touch that was close to tickling, but not quite there. He took Kurt in his arms and laid him down on the cool fabric of the quilt and just looked, filling his eyes with the play of light and shadow as the bright moon watched them. Every muscle was illuminated and Blaine was mesmerized as Kurt's body moved in the night. 

“Kurt...” he said, and Kurt's heart began to beat harder. Blaine took his husband's left foot in his hands and kissed the ankle, his tongue reaching out to caress the round bone there before nipping the skin and letting his fingers run up the calf in a massage of the strong muscles there. He adjusted his place so he could once more kiss Kurt's face: starting with his forehead, then across the high cheekbones and finely chiseled features with tiny kisses that led down to his jaw and finally to the dark pink lips that spoke loving words straight to Blaine's soul. Kurt didn't stop to form the words, they flowed over his lips, some with little meaning and some that hit Blaine in his heart with a burst of unexpected emotion that would have knocked him to his knees if he'd been standing. This was his Kurt. His. Forever.

It was hard to believe how beautiful Kurt was, how he shone in the moonlight like a spirit of some kind, as if he wasn't of this earth. Blaine couldn't believe how lucky he was to have Kurt in his life, much less be married to him. He tried to visit each part of Kurt's body, kissing and touching, licking and caressing as he went through the inventory of the man he would have in his heart for all of eternity. At one time he had believed he knew Kurt's body – and it was true that no one knew it better, not even Kurt himself, but Blaine had grown to realize that he could do this every day for all the foreseeable future and never really know it enough. That did not mean he wouldn't try, of course.

Blaine blinked his eyes and concentrated on the feel of all the textures of Kurt's skin. He kissed his right shoulder, then felt the skin as it moved over the belly of the muscle of his bicep once again, and down the sternum to the right. He used his tongue to feel the bit of tougher skin covering Kurt's nipple and felt it contract and stand up, a feeling that was new to Blaine; he found he liked that feeling and repeated it on the left side as he heard the soft hum coming from Kurt's throat turn into a needy whimper. He drew his hand back for a moment and then cupped Kurt's jaw for a moment and brushed his lips across his mouth to reassure his lover that all was well.

Coming to the soft skin of Kurt's belly, he laid his cheek down and rubbed it across the soft hair growing in a fuzzy line down from his naval to his genitals. He blew a puff of air across the hair and Kurt giggled, making Blaine laugh. Then he made his way down further to the shaft of Kurt's cock, semi-hard and waiting. Blaine had loved Kurt's cock from the first time he'd seen it. Not just because it was an organ of pleasure, but because it was truly beautiful and different than any boy Blaine had ever seen. He grew up in the mid-west, the heart of America where babies were born in hospitals and boys were circumcised soon after. He had not given this a lot of thought to his circumcised dick until one day he'd walked in on Kurt when they were maybe nine years old and seen that Kurt wasn't. 

He asked him about it, but Kurt wasn't aware he was different than other boys and the next hour was given to exploring just what a foreskin was and why Kurt had one and Blaine didn't. Burt had gone to check on the boys and found them comparing, which did not come as very much of a shock to him and he explained it. That seemed to be the end of it and the boys went on to watch movies and play a board game with Rachel when she came over that day. Burt forgot about the incident, but it stayed with the boys and they did a bit more curious exploring over the years until they reached an age where they felt it wasn't appropriate to do that any more.

Blaine had never, even to this day, gotten over his fascination with Kurt and his foreskin. He ran his hand up and down Kurt's thick organ a few times, knowing that the head was hidden until Kurt was excited and it was like the tip came out of hiding – and nothing was more erotic to Blaine. He wet his mouth and started his tongue at the base, moving it up and circling the tip before engulfing it in his mouth. Kurt gasped louder than Blaine was expecting and his cock stiffened a lot more, the blood rushing to fill it. He pulled back, seeing that even in moonlight Kurt's cock was flushed a dark rosy color with darker tip. Blaine put his mouth back where it had been and Kurt rewarded him with the first of many moans. Blaine ran his sensitive tongue under the edge of the foreskin, being oh so careful not to hurt this boy he loved.

  
“Blaine...oh...Blaine, yes...yes,” Kurt moaned his name and a shiver went down Blaine's back and right to his gut, heating his blood and filling his cock even more. 

He hummed in reply, his own moan a promise of what was to come. He swirled his tongue around several times until Kurt's whines got higher in pitch and Blaine knew he had to slow down if he didn't want to evening to end here. He sucked lightly as he went down and then up and off, leaving Kurt's cock glistening in the soft light that shone down on them. He took in a deep breath, trying to steady himself but with the air came the scents of lilacs and roses and of Kurt: earthy and clean and spicy with arousal. Blaine was taken by surprise – he'd never had scent play such a major role in making love to Kurt and it threw his mind into a spin for a brief moment. He closed his eyes and centered himself, willing his body to wait, to relax and regroup. 

Kurt took a deep breath, too, and Blaine wondered if the odors of the flowers mixed with desire and anticipation were affecting him as much. Blaine dared to look up and saw those hypnotic blue-and-gold eyes looking back with a dark desire spilling over. 

Blaine broke the eye contact and went back to worshiping the man before him.

Moving those long, sensuous legs apart and planting the feet on the ground to stabilize him, Blaine came up between those legs and kissed his way across first the left thigh and then the right one. He stroked down Kurt's belly once more and took his cock in hand, stroking slowly – not as an end in itself, but as a comfort so Kurt could relax. He'd gotten jumpy when Blaine was touching him and Blaine wanted him to enjoy it as a right, not feel as if he were an object. 

The slow stroking calmed Kurt and Blaine could feel his muscles let go of their tight almost-cramps. He could hear Kurt's breathing return to normal and his belly quit shaking.

“Are you okay, baby?” he asked and Kurt let out a sigh.

“Yes, my love...I have never been better. I love you...” 

“I love you, too.”

“Blaine, don't stop, please don't stop,” Kurt said, his body demanding more.

Blaine once more took Kurt in his mouth and stroked with his lips, in and out in a gentle rhythm until Kurt was arching his back. He slid his mouth off, petting the outside of Kurt's leg to let him know there was time and he needed to be patient. He rubbed his cheek down Kurt's inner thigh a few times until his mouth was close to his sac and put out his tongue to lick for a moment, Kurt letting out an almost strangled yelp of surprise. Blaine smiled a bit and continued, gathering the loose skin in a bit of suction before taking one ball into his mouth and rolling it very, very gently before doing the same to the other side, and letting his mouth move down to lick the skin behind – which was a gentle stimulation to the prostate gland hidden further behind that bit of skin. 

Blaine looked up once more to see Kurt's face, but found his eyes closed and head thrown back with his hands gripping the quilt loosely. Blaine grinned. He was getting impatient within himself, but prayed he was able to hide that from Kurt for a few more moments. He took a deep breath of the lilac air and put his hands on the beautiful round globes of his husband's ass cheeks, rubbing and stroking the pale skin there and pulling them apart. He worried that the moonlight wouldn't be strong enough for him to see, but his fear was alleviated as he glimpsed the small pink entrance he sought. He flattened his tongue and licked across this source of so many nerve endings. 

Kurt whined, careful not to bring his thighs together as his body trembled. His back arched higher and he struggled not to let himself go. There was more to the evening and he wanted to experience it all with the love of his life, with Blaine -but it was hard not to indulge in what his body told him to do.

Blaine smiled. They didn't do this very often and he was starting to wonder why. He licked again, slowly circling to touch all of the muscle and nerve endings, then pointed his tongue and pressed in a bit, hearing Kurt whimper again, his hands now fists in the quilt. Blaine licked and hummed and pushed his tongue as far as he could into his husband for a while until Kurt begged him to open him up more so they could make love. Blaine took the small bottle of lubrication and buttered his fingers with it, touching his tongue to see if it was palatable. It was 'candy flavored' and wasn't too distracting, so he pushed his finger in alongside his tongue and was rewarded with a long, deep moan from Kurt followed by a high-pitched whine of excitement. 

Blaine went back to licking the bit of skin behind Kurt's balls, pressing with his tongue and found the place inside where he could rub his fingers across the prostate -basically massaging it from both sides. Kurt came unglued, bucking his hips as Blaine withdrew his fingers and stopped licking. 

Blaine was afraid Kurt might come too fast – he was overstimulated and needed to stop for a few moments to regroup. He moved up closer to Kurt's face, having wiped his mouth and cheeks off on the edge of the quilt. He just looked into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt looked back with love-light shining. They were in no hurry for the evening to end and so lay together in each other's arms for a while as they watched the stars. 

 

After a while, Kurt rolled towards Blaine, kissing his neck and shoulders. He snuggled his face close and touched his chest, circling a nipple until Blaine smiled and took Kurt's cock into his hand. He slid his hand over it, but Kurt reached down to move his hand away, sitting up to lean over and take Blaine in his own mouth. Blaine was still hard and the joy of having Kurt suck on him, tongue rubbing in just the right place, made him moan Kurt's name loudly. He lay still for a few more moments before placing a hand on Kurt's shoulder to ask him to move. 

Kurt turned his back to Blaine, tugging his arms around to his chest before he pushed against his cock with his ass. Blaine looked down to see the pale, taut ass of his husband and it was a near thing not to just come on the spot without even entering Kurt. Blaine took a deep breath and felt between the lovely cheeks and pushed his thumb into that soft heat, getting a wonderful and encouraging noise from Kurt's throat. Removing his thumb, he pushed in, knowing that Kurt was completely ready and thus Blaine was able to go all the way on the first thrust, almost making him scream. Kurt began to tremble, arching his back once more and pushing his cheeks together tightly so as not to come too soon. Where was his self-control? 

Blaine was having as much trouble with self control as his ears heard the moaning and his body heard the desperation of Kurt's body wanting what it had been promised – and wanting it now. 

Blaine rolled his lover over onto his hands and knees, kneeling behind him to push in deeper and harder the way Kurt was begging him to. Blaine started slow and gentle, then worked them up to harder and faster until Kurt cried he was about to come...and Blaine stopped. Kurt gasped and tried to turn around, his voice cracking as he tried to ask why Blaine had stopped at just...but then he knew. This might be the sexiest thing Blaine had ever done. Blaine began pushing in slowly and gently, kissing over Kurt's back and stroking his body – even stroking his hard cock and whispering sweet things as he made Kurt feel loved and cared for. The intensity built once again, slowly and sweetly as Kurt's breath got shorter and he was close to panting, Blaine not far behind. When they were feeling the coiling of the heat in their bellies and Blaine could hear the catch in Kurt's moans he slowed down almost to a stand-still.

Kurt wanted to complain that Blaine was being unfair. He wanted to offer to take over, to ask for more, to beg his lover to allow him to come, but he trusted Blaine and each time the anticipation was greater, his heart pumped faster and harder, and his love for Blaine exploded in his heart all over again.

Blaine was getting tired. He wanted to come so much, he might give his left arm to just do it. He wanted it, his body craved it, he was coming undone at the seams, but he knew that the longer they waited the better it would be. Finally he knew that he couldn't do it again. He was tired and sore and almost crazy with the desire that crawled under his skin and around his nerves, through his blood vessels into his soul. He needed Kurt. 

Pulling out, Kurt was just shocked and his face wrinkled in puzzlement and fear, not understanding why...but Blaine held him close in his arms and told Kurt how much he loved him and how much he needed to see his face for this. He turned him over and once again entered his husband and began the slow strokes that would lead up to the crescendo. It didn't take long, but it took forever at the same time. Blaine whispered how much he loved Kurt, and Kurt whispered back, their words making no sense after a while, but they both understood. It was gentle and tender, it was a mad dash and hard thrusting and finally, finally Kurt and Blaine came with shouts and moans and words of love as they collapsed onto the quilt, completely spent and completely satisfied.

Kurt held close to Blaine, knowing he needed the support more than Kurt did right now and they closed their eyes and wrapped the quilt around them under the lilacs in the locked garden of their dreams. 

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

**New York, LaGuardia Airport Five Weeks Later**

 

The plane was landing and Kurt held Blaine's hand very tightly. He wouldn't say he was afraid of flying, but Blaine knew he was and offered him silent support. He decided a distraction might be in order.

“So, we've been away from home for five weeks. Are you looking forward to another hot summer in New York?” Blaine asked.

“As long as the theater is cool for rehearsals, I don't mind. Why are they always too cheap to turn on the air conditioning during rehearsals?” Kurt complained. 

Neither of them were booked for a show until August. They didn't want to come home and just jump into work right away. The honeymoon weeks in Spain, Portugal, and Greece were heaven but both were anxious to get back to their friends and family. Kurt looked over at Blaine with his perfect tan, silky curls that needed a trim, and those bright, sexy hazel eyes and just smiled.

“What are you smiling about, baby?” Blaine asked.

“You, of course, and how much I love you,” Kurt said and smiled some more.

“Well, I love you, too. You did get a hold of Seb to pick us up, right?” Blaine asked.

“No. For some reason he wasn't picking up. But no worries, we can call Finn or get a taxi. Don't worry about it,” Kurt said.

“It has to be Seb!” Blaine said, a bit more grouchy than he had intended.

“You'll see Princess soon enough. Maybe he thought she wouldn't like the crowded airport or something. Quit worrying,” Kurt patted Blaine's hand, then played with his wedding ring for a moment. Blaine looked stricken.

“What if something happened to Princess? We were gone too long, Kurt...and they wouldn't want to disturb our honeymoon and she was alone and needed us...?” Blaine worried out loud.

“Blaine, listen to me,” Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand in his and slotting their fingers together then bringing them to his lips for a tender kiss. Kurt looked at Blaine, locking his eyes on Blaine's so he could see how serious Kurt was being. “I don't think Seb would do that. If something happened, you would know, and if you didn't- worrying isn't going to change it. So, as Dad always says, don't borrow trouble – it has its own way of finding you. Just relax, we'll be landing in about two minutes,” Kurt did his best to reassure his husband, trying to brush away thoughts of the day they would lose Princess. He swallowed and let their hands down to rest in his lap, no longer trying to convince him of something they didn't know.

 

There was nobody at the airport to get them and repeated calls to Seb weren't answered. Just as Blaine was about to call a taxi, they heard their names being called from the corridor. Blaine turned to see a man taller than those around him, hand in the air to catch their attention.

“Finn!” Kurt shouted, turning to grin at Blaine. “See, I knew we weren't abandoned!”

They greeted Kurt's brother and walked through the airport and out to Finn's RV in the parking lot.

“Seb called me to see if I could come get you, but Rachel had her ultrasound today so she was still gabbing away about that. I mean, I was excited, too, of course,” Finn rambled as he picked up several of Kurt's suitcases from the luggage cart and started putting them in the back of his RV. 

 

When all of the luggage was loaded, they started back to Manhattan and got caught in traffic of course.

“How's Princess?” Blaine asked. He slid his hand into Kurt's and Kurt squeezed.

“She's fine. Seb brought her over last Friday when he dropped off your mail,” Finn said. Finn had been taking care of Kurt and Blaine's finances while they were in Europe. “We took her to the park and threw the ball for her and she frisked around a little. Not like when she was a puppy, but she can still run when she wants to. How old is she now? It seems like she's been there all of our lives sometimes.”

“She will be eleven in a few months,” Blaine said.

“Wow, that's a long time. She sure doesn't act that old. What do you think she'll do when she sees the new baby?” Finn asked.

“Oh, she loves babies!” Kurt said, relating a story of last summer when they had met a casual friend in the park with her new baby and Princess got excited.

It was about an hour later when Blaine happened to look out the window.

“Oh, I thought we were going right home. Did you have errands to run first?” he asked.

“Just a quick one. Its right up here,” Finn said, looking for a parking spot on the street. He found one and winked at Kurt when Blaine was looking the other way.

“Hey, Kurt, didn't we look at some houses in this neighborhood?” Blaine asked, looking around at the beautiful brownstones.

“Yeah, that one we wanted but it was under contract,” Kurt supplied. Blaine sighed, he'd really liked that house.

They got out to stretch their legs when Kurt reached into his pocket. Finn had slipped a wrapped box in there earlier. Kurt took Blaine's hand and put the box into it.

Blaine looked up, puzzled.

“Its just a little wedding present I got you. I forgot it was in this jacket pocket. Go ahead and open it,” Kurt said. Blaine unwrapped the gift as they were walking behind Finn and followed as he turned the corner. He was paying attention to the box and stopped for a moment, Kurt moving to stand in front of him. Blaine got it opened and took out a key. It wasn't as old and ornate as the one he'd given Kurt to the Secret Garden, but it was a very old-fashioned brass skeleton key on a velvet ribbon. It had a tag that said, “The Key to Our Hearts” on it.

“What? The key to _our hearts_? Not the key to your heart, Kurt?” he asked. Kurt nodded. “I don't understand”?

“Let me show you,” Kurt offered and took Blaine's hand. They walked down the street a few houses and Kurt turned into the sidewalk and up a flight of stairs. Blaine's eyes got wider as Kurt took the key from his hand and opened the door, stepping into the foyer and turning to look at Blaine.

“Oh, my god, Kurt..this is the one we wanted. But...I thought the realtor, LisaRenai told us it was under contract?” Blaine said.

“It was. LisaRenai called me back that night to tell me they had backed out, something about not being able to come up with the down payment. She knew we really wanted it and called to let me know. She said there were six offers but we, being next in line, had first refusal. I offered a shade over the asking price and got it,” Kurt explained.

“Oh, we need to send LisaRenai flowers and a fruit basket...and a vacation to Disneyland!!” Blaine crowed, throwing his arms around Kurt's neck and dancing in the front hall. 

Just as they were hugging Finn, a door was opened from the other side of the foyer and Blaine's arms were full of silky red fur and his face was covered in a warm, wet tongue. Princess was turning herself inside out in glee to have Blaine back. She liked Seb and Finn well enough, and she did love Kurt – but she lived and breathed for Blaine. 

He was almost as happy to see her, picking her up and hugging her to his chest, covering the top of her head with kisses. It was a reunion made in heaven.

“Oh, Princess, my baby, my darling...” Blaine cooed, setting her down gently and kneeling beside her to hug her close once more. 

“Ah, Finn, I'm wondering if I should be offended that he just called that dog the same pet names he calls me?,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. 

Finn broke out in a hearty laugh, leaning forward and clapping Kurt on the back.

“Shall we have the grand tour?” Kurt asked, smiling at Blaine's enthusiasm.

Seb and Trent walked through the doors, Rachel between them. Trent had a large bottle of something and Seb carried six crystal wine glasses on a tray. 

“Sparkling cider to celebrate!” Rachel cheered as she passed glasses to everyone. They drank a toast to the new house, then one to old and dear friends. 

 

That night, Blaine lay in the new four-poster bed under the dark purple duvet and the Egyptian cotton high thread-count sheets. He looked across the room to the fireplace with the flickering flames that made dancing shadows on the walls of their new bedroom. Princess was asleep in front of the fire in her new purple bed, her head lying on her paws. Above the mantle was the large photograph of the last day of the play that he and Kurt had been in all those years ago – Piglet and Pooh holding hands and looking at each other, Pooh with a bright smile that made his face glow with happiness and Piglet looking a little shy as he smiled at Pooh through his lashes with pink-blushed cheeks. 

Kurt walked in and slid under the covers, kissing Blaine's cheek. 

“Well, sweetheart, how do you like it?” Kurt asked.

“It is the best present ever. I do love it. I love it from the kitchen with the old pine cupboards and butler's pantry and soapstone sink to the library with walnut shelves and the balcony that overlooks the park to this amazing bedroom. I love it all, Kurt. And I love you,” he said, lying back on Kurt's shoulder. 

Kurt was propped on the pile of pillows, relaxing after their hard day. They had put away all of their clothes from their luggage, had the dinner that Rachel and Trent had cooked, and went for a slow walk through the park with all of their friends. It had been a long, tiring day – but Kurt would not trade it for anything.

“I'm beat. You know I wanted to christen the new bed tonight, but I'm just too tired. You?” he said, kissing Blaine's shoulder and looking up at him.

“I'm tired, too, baby. Let's just turn on some music and go to sleep. Like Scarlett said, 'tomorrow is another day'.”

“True. Come here and we can snuggle together, Piglet. The forest will always be there, right?” Kurt asked, referring to the end of the play they had been in.

“I would love to snuggle with you, Pooh-Bear. Goodnight, baby.”

 

 


	18. Twenty-Seven Years Old - The End

“We need to call the electrician back, the cable and pulley system for the curtain isn't working properly,” Blaine said, sitting down at a table at the back of the auditorium. Rachel wrote a note on her pad and looked back to Blaine in case he had any more suggestions.

“Honestly, I'm wondering what on Earth I was thinking when this whole project came to mind,” Finn said, his head in his hands, sounding defeated. Rachel set her pad down and walked up in back of him as he sat there. She put her arms around his shoulders and kissed his hair.

“You were thinking with your heart as you always do,” Kurt answered. “Don't let this string of tiny annoying things make you give up on the final product. Speaking of which, how is the therapy dog lady going with the new buildings?”

“Oh, I just heard from Evelyn this morning,” Blaine answered. “She loved the kennels and all the permits are in place. I can't believe a year of planning is going to be done in a few short weeks!” Blaine crowed, smiling down at his own service dog. Princess stood up and walked over to Blaine, leaning against him in silent invitation for him to pet her. He smiled and complied, rubbing behind her ears where she loved it the most. She leaned her muzzle on his knee and looked up with love in her eyes.

 

This whole project had been a dream of Finn's from the very start and as he shared that dream with his wife and brothers, it took shape and grew. It had taken a full year of writing grants and fund-raising and back-breaking hard work to make this dream come true, but it was now in its final stages. 

The friends sat in the theater building, testing all the stage lights and the electric equipment such as the floor risers and the cable-pulley to raise and lower the curtain. The electricians that had donated their time to fix the run-down theater had done a wonderful job. Tomorrow the last of the volunteers would be finishing up the few remaining things. They had hung the heavy red velvet curtains with gold fringe last week, the seats had been repaired and all had freshly upholstered red velveteen. 

Looking around, the four friends were amazed at the change in the donated theater. With the opening just six weeks away, it was coming together quickly. 

 

“You know, I would never have had this without you guys,” Finn said, tears in his eyes as he looked at Blaine, Kurt, and his wife, Rachel. “I could never get it out of my mind, how the three of you became lifelong friends – all because of a summer theater group for children. What would our lives be without that summer? How did it all happen?”

“I was in going into second grade,” Rachel started, “and I knew even then that I wanted to be a star. My dads took me to private lessons for singing and dancing, gymnastics and anything else they could think of to please me. The result of all those was not only that I was sure of myself, but I had learned to alienate myself from any kid in any of those classes. I thought they put me in the children's theater to hone my dramatic talent, and they let me believe that. 

“It wasn't until years later I realized why they had done it. I was so full of myself that none of the kids in my classes could stand me. I was so utterly alone, and I didn't even know it. I thought being your own best fan was the way all kids thought. No, my dads recognized that I was a little terror and one day I would crash when I realized that nobody could stand me. They put me in the community theater so I could be part of something bigger than myself, so I would learn to work as a part of a whole, to value the contributions of others. 

“I think it worked, too. The next year in school, Kurt and Blaine were my best friends and we did everything together. I learned that being friends with them was more important than being the best singer or dancer...that theater group saved my life and I'll always be thankful for it,” Rachel ended, wiping a small tear from her eye. Kurt walked over and hugged her, then Blaine leaned in to kiss her cheek. Kurt cleared his throat.

“I was so lost, and poor Dad had no idea what to do with me. After Mom died, it was like he had left me, too. He had so much grief although he tried his best to take care of me, but the day I cut off all my hair....he took me to a psychiatrist. She talked to me for a few minutes and told my dad to enroll me in soccer or some other sport, but I hated sports. So she suggested the children's theater. She thought it would make me forget myself for a while if I was pretending to be someone else.

“The first day I was so scared. I didn't want to cry, so I had my head down. Just as I thought I couldn't hold back another minute, I felt a warm hand in mine. I looked up to see the most beautiful brown hazel eyes and I knew from that moment that I wanted Blaine to be mine for the rest of my life,” Kurt said, looking now into those same hazel eyes and feeling the same love.

“What brought you to the children's theater?” Finn asked Blaine. 

“It was Cooper. For some reason my sixteen year old brother didn't want to spend his entire summer babysitting me,” Blaine laughed ironically. “So Mom enrolled me in the theater to get rid of me. I was feeling sort of abandoned that day – Cooper was so eager to get rid of me. I understand it now, but then it hurt. When I walked into the room, I saw the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid eyes on, and I knew he needed me. I don't know why, he was looking down at the floor and was so lost. When I took his hand, he looked at me with those eyes – those liquid blue eyes that begged me to hold his hand forever,” Blaine smiled at Kurt, his head cocked just a shade- the same way he'd done it all his life. Kurt squeezed his hand and Rachel put a hand on his shoulder.

“Of course, it wasn't just the two of us – a few minutes later this loud, fearless, demanding girl walked in,” Kurt said, and all eyes went to Rachel.

“I was not!” she said, which earned her a giggle from all three men. She stamped her foot and they laughed louder.

“We were immediately adopted by the prettiest girl in the whole program, Miss Rachel Berry, and the three of us were inseparable from that moment on,” Blaine said, giving Rachel a gentle smile. 

“I have no idea what would have happened to any of us if we hadn't formed that bond,” Kurt said. “So, thinking back on that summer, the summer it all started, I think this children's theater therapy is going to be an amazing thing for the children of New York. Finn, I do believe that this is the most amazing thing you've dreamed up and I know you will make a difference in the lives of so many kids,” Kurt praised.

“I couldn't have done it without you guys. Our first group of children will be starting on the second of June – that's just five weeks away. I have the letters of permission from the publishers to use the plays we wanted to do, and to name the theater,” he grinned at Kurt and Blaine. 

 

“What I can't believe is that on top of this huge project, you decided to do the therapy dog part, too,” Blaine said.

“I couldn't have done that without Burt. He contacted the woman that sold him Princess. She still had a few of her dogs, but hadn't trained more than a few for service dogs in the past five years. When Burt and I approached her, she was excited to be able to move here and start a therapy/service dog kennel again. I thought it would be the hardest part of the whole project, but it turned out to be the easiest,” Finn explained.

There was some fussing heard and Rachel moved quickly to pull a blanket off of the baby carriage sitting a few feet away.

“Oh, honey lamb, Mommy is here. No crying, baby,” she cooed, picking up a pink bundle from the carriage.

Finn held out his hands and Rachel gave him the baby, pulling up a chair and placing a small receiving blanket over her shoulder. She took the baby back and covered her with the blanket so she could feed her.

“How is Rosie's rash doing?” Blaine asked.

“Oh, she's almost over it. The doctor thinks it was caused by new laundry detergent. We switched and she cleared right up,” Rachel said.

“I was right! You can't start a healthy skin routine too soon, didn't I tell you?” Kurt smirked. “Just use that almond milk and beeswax hand cream on her arms and legs to keep them moisturized, and use the special super-fatted soap for her bath. You don't want to expose her delicate skin to detergents and other things that might dry her skin,” he went on. Finn rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Uncle Kurt. We listened and she is doing fine,” he said, but his smile was something he couldn't hide. After being apart from his brother all through college and grad school, Finn had really missed him. This project that he had dreamed up was so perfect – he got to see and work with three major Broadway actors that just happened to be his close family. 

 

“I think we need to set the schedule for classes, right?” Finn asked. “We will meet with the kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays, four hours a day. That's three classes and we can rotate so each class will get time with Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel. I'll help Rachel so she can have time with Rosie,” Finn outlined. “I have the printout of the schedule. We got permissions from all the publishers and the fees have either been waived or a minimum paid for them. I think this is going to be one beautiful summer!” 

Everyone agreed and they talked over the particulars of what to teach, which psychologists would be there and when to help, who to call in an emergency, and more talk of the business side of things.

“I have the screening process in place,” Finn said.

“What screening process? Why would we turn away any child in need?” Blaine asked.

“No, what I mean is that there are scholarships for the children that need help with tuition. I have three foundations that are willing to sponsor several needy children, so that should cover the problem area we were discussing last week. I think its all going to work!”

Rachel finished feeding Rosie and buttoned up her blouse. She changed the baby and both of Rosie's uncles were sitting with their arms out, expectation in their eyes. It was always the same – Rachel was supposed to choose which one got to hold their niece first. She turned to Finn for help.

“Whose turn is it?” he asked, giving Blaine a hard stare.

“Oh...okay, it's Kurt's turn to hold her,” he sighed and Princess nudged his hand with her muzzle. She hated to see her master unhappy. “Hey, its okay, girl. Uncle Kurt will give us the baby in a few minutes,” he said to his dog. 

Kurt was holding his niece, looking into her eyes and smiling. Her skin looked perfect, a light blush of pink over her pale skin and blue eyes looked back. Her shiny brunette hair fell in loose curls around her chubby cheeks as she focused on Kurt's face and smiled.

“How soon before she will say my name?” he asked, giving her a delicate kiss on her head, then held her close by his shoulder and patted her back.

“Babies usually say their first word at about their first birthday – and take their first step, too,” Finn said, “but it can vary by a few months either way.”

“Well, if she's two months now....” Kurt calculated in his head,” she will be saying my name by Valentine's Day next year!”

Blaine laughed. 

“Unless she says 'Uncle Blaine' first...”

Kurt rolled his eyes and held her a little closer.

“Not on your life, Anderson. She will say mine first,” he stated in a voice not to be argued with.

“I think we'll have to wait and see. Babies usually say Mama and Dada first you know,” Finn said, looking fondly at his brother and his daughter. He was so happy that little Barbara Rose Hudson was surrounded by so much love. 

After Uncle Blaine got a chance to hold her, they agreed it was time to go home. Tomorrow was another day and they had a lot to accomplish in a very little time.

 

**Five Weeks Later**

 

“Hurry, Kurt...we're going to be late,” Blaine called down the long hallway. He was standing in front of the mirror, tying his bow tie. It might be just a bunch of kids that he was about to meet, but he was as anxious as he was on an opening night on Broadway. 

“I'm on my way, just had to switch out the waistcoat. I don't want to come home to find sticky fingerprints on my raw silk vest,” he said, hurrying to button his tweed suit coat.

“Right...well, I don't blame you. You look so nice, Kurt. I'm proud to call you mine,” he smiled and took Kurt's hand as they walked down the stairs. 

It had been a long time coming, but this was going to be the best day ever. Finn was so proud of their accomplishment. He came to New York with a dream of helping children and when this idea of a children's theater for kids facing things that most adults couldn't handle came to fruition, it was like a miracle. There were three groups of ten children for this first session. Each session lasted six weeks and they would work with the psychologists to help the children learn that they could accomplish something wonderful. 

Blaine whistled for a taxi and they were on their way to the opening of the center. 

 

A short ride to the theater and Kurt and Blaine got out a block ahead. They wanted to walk to the theater and see it for the first time all done. As they walked, hand in hand, both were lost in the memories of that year they met and all the wonderful times they had. It had given them a sense of accomplishment that had never left them. It gave them the experience of working together toward a common goal and seeing first-hand how to work as a team. No one person could have done what they did, and it was a valuable lesson to learn. The best thing was that it gave them life-long friends. 

As they rounded the corner, Kurt looked up to see the front of the building. The marquee was covered with a canvas cloth and there was a crowd standing in front: parents, children, journalists with their cameramen, and the teachers and psychologists that were part of the new center.

Kurt walked closer to stand by Rachel, Blaine on his other side cooing at baby Rose. Princess put her head over the edge of the carriage, sniffing at the little baby.

 

When it was time to do the big unveiling, the crowd had grown and there were fans of the actors coming to see if they could get a glimpse of Kurt, Blaine, or Rachel. 

The Mayor of New York was standing at the podium, microphone in hand and a genuine smile on his face. He introduced himself and spoke about the community feeling of New York, how they helped each other and when there was a job to do the citizens of this city knew how to pull it together in style. He didn't say a word about the fact that all of the major contributers were from Ohio. He introduced Finn as the leader of the Children's Theater Project. Finn walked up to the podium, his smile a mile wide on his face.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to welcome you to the new children's theater which has been a dream of mine for many years. I've been lucky. Most people have a dream, but few ever see it come true in their lifetime. I had a dream, but I had the help of an entire family of people to help me make this dream come true. They shared it with me, worked tirelessly, gave unending hours and money and love to make my dream come true. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my wife, Rachel Berry,” he paused as the crowd yelled and clapped, “my brother, Kurt Hummel,” again a pause for applause, “and my brother, Blaine Anderson.”

Finn smiled as the crowd let them know how much they were loved. Since their amazing success, Rachel, Blaine, and Kurt had been dubbed 'the first family of Broadway' – a moniker that Rachel loved, Kurt hated, and Blaine didn't pay attention to, at least on the outside. In his heart of hearts, however, it made him proud and a little bit in awe that he was grouped with Kurt's family in spite of being just his husband. 

“Together we have brought this project from a sketch of an idea to something all of New York might soon be proud of, a chance to help its children - and tomorrow will be the first day. It has been a long two years to come to this. I want to thank the foundations, the companies, and all of the marvelous people who have donated their time, money, and hard work to make this possible. Thank you. Now, I'll ask my beautiful wife to do the unveiling.”

Rachel came up to the podium to a new round of applause and screaming.

“Thank you, Finn. My husband forgot to thank one person, so I'll do it. Thank you to Finn Hudson, who took a kernel of an idea and brought it to New York, planted it in a few heads and shepherded it through all the days of hard work and trying times, never quitting when the work got harder, never quitting when it seemed like a lost cause. He is truly the father of this project. Let's show him our appreciation,” Rachel said, standing back to clap. The crowd shouted even louder.

Rachel took the rope she was handed and pulled hard. The pulleys squeaked and the canvas covering the marquee fell. There was the picture of three little children in Winnie-the-Pooh costumes. It was of Rachel, Blaine, and Kurt holding hands, taken the same day as the one that hung in Kurt and Blaine's bedroom. It was taken during the curtain call from the last day of their play: Rachel dressed as Christopher Robin, holding Blaine's hand; Blaine as Piglet, leaning his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt was dressed as Winnie-the-Pooh and had his arm around Blaine, just touching Rachel's shoulder. Above it were large letters with the name of the theater:

 

**Piglet and Pooh**

**Children's Theater**

**~**

**Dedicated to the Children of New York**

 

Kurt and Blaine stood close to Rachel, tears in their eyes as they basked in the applause of the crowd. They didn't know until just that moment that Finn had named it after their characters or that he was using their picture, but it was so appropriate. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After the ceremony, after the grand opening with the reporters and dignitaries, the actors/teachers went into one of the classrooms in the back of the theater to meet the thirty lucky children who would make up the first class in the theater. The children were shy, clutching onto their parents' hands or hiding behind each other, looking around at the new surroundings.

“Welcome to the Children's Theater,” Finn said, smiling at the children and sitting in a low chair. He asked them to find seats and then asked each child to say their name. 

When each child had the opportunity to speak, Finn introduced the actors and other staff and called the names to let each child know who their special actor/teacher would be. He asked them to follow the new teachers to the three classrooms to get acquainted.

 

It was a very short first meeting, the dedication had taken a lot out of the kids and it was getting on towards the dinner hour when everyone was bundled off to their homes and Finn locked up. Standing in front of the building, he smiled at his family: Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine, and thanked them all.

“I guess tomorrow is going to be a lot of fun. I think the kids were all excited about this – at least I hope so. Any questions?” Finn asked, looking around as he held his little daughter close.

“No, I think we're all ready,” Kurt said, grinning. “I think this is going to be one hell of a ride, don't you?”

“Yes, I do. And I can hardly wait,” Rachel said, bouncing on the balls of her feet and hugging Blaine.

“Let's go out to dinner and celebrate!” Kurt suggested and they all agreed.

 

 

**Six weeks later**

 

“It's opening night,” a small girl said, tugging on Blaine's suit jacket.

“Yes, Virginia, I know. Are you nervous?” he asked her.

“No, sir, Mr. Blaine. I just...wanted to know if you were nervous the first time?” she asked, looking at him with her bright green eyes.

“I think I was, but my best friend was there to help me. He held my hand and I felt better. I think it helped him, too,” Blaine told her, running his hand over her dark red curls. “Do you have a friend that you can share that with?” 

“Yes. Mark and I are friends. I met him here and he helped me with my lines. You know Mark, right? He was in Mr. Kurt's class,” she whispered so softly that Blaine had to lean down to hear her.

“Oh, yes, I know Mark. He's a nice boy. Its time to get ready, you look beautiful in your costume, honey. I know you will be so good tonight. The best Tinkerbell I've ever seen,” he told her. Mark was two years older and was playing Peter Pan. 

“Oh! I better get my wings on!” she said and ran back to the dressing rooms.

Kurt walked up.

“Its hard to believe she couldn't gather courage to say a word the first three weeks. What a difference,” he said, watching as she turned the corner into the dressing room.

“And pairing her with Mark was so smart – I wonder how Finn knew that she was just what he needed to make him feel needed. This is working, exactly like Finn hoped it would,” Kurt said, his pride in his brother evident. 

“Let's go back and see if we can help with anything, okay?” Blaine said, giving his husband a kiss on the cheek before following him backstage. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**At the therapy dog kennel**

 

“Evelyn!” Blaine said, greeting the woman that walked towards him from the yard behind the kennels.

“Blaine, how are you today? Princess, I see you're doing fine,” she said.

“Just fine. I got your message, what can I do to help?” he asked.

Evelyn Miles had moved lock, stock, and barrel to New York. She had no family left in Ohio and just when she believed that she would have to find another career, Burt Hummel had called her. She remembered him and they talked about the day he came to get a puppy to help a sad and hurt little boy. Over the years Burt had kept in contact, sending a Christmas card, sending pictures of Princess and Blaine together from high school to college to the Broadway stage. Princess had been by his side every step of the way.

“Well, when I was back in Ohio, I had a favorite Irish setter. Murphy was the best and she had a good many wonderful puppies, one of which was your Princess,” she said, leaning forward to rub behind Princess' ear.

“She had a pup I kept for a brood bitch, and then there was one in the next generation. Today I still have that dog. Her name is Solo and she had a litter a few weeks ago. I know most of these puppies are going to be either therapy dogs or service dogs. There is one, though...she is big for her age, a bit on the clumsy side, but she will probably outgrow that. I know your Princess is getting on in years...twelve now, right?”

Blaine nodded, suddenly sad.

“Well, this is just an idea. I was thinking that she might want to meet this little girl and see if she gets along with her. You don't have to take her, and it might be that you want Princess to live her life without the bother of a puppy. It depends on the dog, you know. It might make her happy to have a companion.'

“I...I never thought about getting another dog. Princess has been the only dog for me, Evelyn. I don't know...and I don't really need a service dog any more. I'm so much better, thanks mostly to Princess and Kurt. Can we maybe meet this pup and then I can think about it?” Blaine asked.

“Whatever you want to do, Blaine. Its just a suggestion,” she said, leading them back to one of the dog pens. 

Princess walked beside Blaine, sniffing but staying at heel. They went inside the yard and Evelyn went to get the pup. She set it down on the grass and Blaine thought about the first day he saw Princess. He closed his eyes and the memories flooded back: the playful puppy rolling in the grass as she chased a ball, the first time she saw snow, the horrible days when he was so scared he couldn't move or speak when Princess came and leaned into him to give him comfort. It was a long time to have such a good friend and he didn't want to think of the day she might not be with him any more.

Princess was sitting beside him, but got up to inspect the little rascal that was prancing along the edge of the grass. The puppy rolled over and Princess sniffed her, wagging her tail. She lowered her shoulders and wagged her tail some more, coaxing the pup to play. By the time ten minutes had passed, Princess and the little puppy had become fast friends. They were running across the yard, Princess holding a ball just out of reach of the stumbling pup. She stopped and let the pup get a hold of it, then yanked it back, running a few steps as the puppy followed. 

“Well, that went better than I thought it would,” Blaine said.

“Its up to you, Blaine. She's yours if you want her. Go home and sleep on it, get back to me when you decide. I'm in no hurry,” Evelyn said, patting the man's shoulder. 

Blaine smiled back at her, then called Princess to his side.

“I'll call you before the weekend for sure. And thank you,” he told Evelyn.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Back at Kurt & Blaine's house**

 

“I just don't know....Princess seemed happy with it, but....” Blaine said, leaning back against Kurt. “She was entertained for the ten minutes we were there, but how long would that last? She sleeps a lot and I'm worried a puppy would just become an annoyance to her. I'm not sure I want to risk it.”

“I will agree to whatever you decide, Babe, but I think it has to be your decision. Princess is a part of the family. However, she is really your dog. I'm wondering if she can still do her job with the distraction of a pup to play with. Which asks the deeper question....” Kurt moved his husband, turning him to see his face. “You know what I'm going to ask, right?”

Blaine nodded his head. He knew it would come to this, whether he felt that he still needed Princess – which meant was he completely well. He'd been asking himself this same question for months. 

“I....I don't really know. I've been in need of Princess and the anti-anxiety drugs and the anti-depression drugs for so long, I don't know if I need them or not now. I haven't had a panic attack in over two years and while I sometimes feel funny in crowds or walking alone in the city, it isn't something that feels overwhelming. I can stop and think for a moment and get through it just fine. Do you see a difference?”

“Yes, but I'm not you. I know we have a deeper connection that most of the couples we've known – maybe because of the time we've spent together? Maybe we are just soulmates,” Kurt grinned. Rachel was always telling them they were soulmates. Kurt said she watched too much Dawson's Creek when she was younger, but if the truth were known, he believed it.

“That being said, Blaine, I don't think I'm the one with the answers here. I think its something you need to see Dr. Fisher about,” Kurt said, referring to Blaine's psychiatrist. 

“Yeah, you're right. I have a session with her next week. You know she's only going to ask me what I think, don't you?” he said in a melancholy voice.

Kurt shifted so he could pull Blaine up onto his lap and hug him closer.

“Yes, baby, I do. Maybe you need to think about it. I know you said she has started weaning you off of the stronger medications over the last year. Do you think its time to get off of them all together?” Kurt asked.

“I've thought that for a long time. My dosages are so small now – I don't have any of the side effects any more, not like when I first took them as a kid. I'd like to be off of them all together,” he sighed. “But she hasn't said that was a choice yet. I thought of just stopping by myself...”

Kurt took in a deep breath. “No...you know how dangerous that can be. These drugs are nothing to mess around with. Please don't do that!” Kurt hugged Blaine tighter, afraid for him.

“I won't. Feeling like I want to and actually doing it are two different things. Remember the time I stopped taking them when we were in high school?” Blaine asked.

“Unfortunately. You were in the hospital for three days. Don't screw around with this. Tell Dr. Fisher how you feel and see what she says,” Kurt begged.

“I learned my lesson, don't worry. Can you come with me? I hate to ask, but I'd feel better if you came,” Blaine asked. Kurt usually accompanied him to his appointments with the psychiatrist, but waited outside with Princess.

“Sure, baby, I'll come with you,” he agreed, kissing his husband's cheek. “Now, let's get to bed. Morning starts early.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Okay, I have the schedule written down here on your calendar, Blaine. She said this will take two months, right?” Kurt asked as they sat in their office in the room next to their bedroom.

“Yes. I need to get the prescriptions filled for the drugs to take in an emergency, but it looks like I'll be drug-free for the first time since I was a kid. Do you know how happy that makes me?” Blaine crowed. He was thrilled to be off of the medication. It had served a definite purpose, and he was glad to have it when he'd been such an emotional mess years ago, but it was time to be on his own.

“You know, Kurt, that I could never have done this without you. You are my life...” Blaine said, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I love you. What else could I do?” Kurt answered, his eyes stinging as he tried to stop his own tears.

Blaine leaned forward, his arms out to hug his husband. They ended up on the floor, giggling in each other's arms, the emotions so overwhelming they had to do something. 

“I love you, too, Kurt.”

Princess wagged her tail, coming over to join in the play and both men hugged her.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Finn!” Kurt and Blaine both smiled when their brother entered the room. They were getting ready for the next session of the Children's Theater. Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel had done the first group of kids and now there were more volunteers to help teach the acting classes.

“Hey, guys. I just wanted to call a meeting to tell you who has signed up for the next session. You knew Matt was on board, right?” Both men nodded. “Well, I also got Neil and Jane. We will be able to have another thirty kids this time.” Finn grinned. He had taken on the theater as a half-time position and was counseling the other half. He was happy to be able to help so many lost and hurting kids, to make a difference in their lives.

Rachel came in, carrying her daughter – who held out her hands towards her uncles.

“Come here, my sweet Rose,” Kurt cooed at the little girl. She was not even six months old and had her uncles wrapped around her little finger.

“She was asking for me!” Blaine said, holding his own hands out. Rachel looked at her husband and Finn rolled his eyes.

“Okay, who had her first last time?” he said, like he did just about every time they were with Rosie.

“Blaine did. Come here, little one,” Kurt cooed, taking the pink bundle from Rachel. He sat the girl in his lap, kissed her forehead and hummed a song to her. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and smiled. Her dark silky hair was getting longer, curling around her chubby cheeks and highlighting her pale complexion. She looked like Rachel, but her attitude was all Finn.

“We are both starting new plays within the month,” Blaine continued, “but they are limited engagements. Kurt and I are taking vacation at the end of next month – we're going to be gone for five weeks, then we can rotate back into the Children's Theater as acting teachers again.”

“That's wonderful,” Finn smiled. “You know you have both given so much, I wouldn't expect any more. I do have a long list of Broadway actors signed up for the future, but you are more than welcome,” he smiled.

“We love it. The kids are always so great, even the challenging ones,” Kurt rolled his eyes. He'd had one doozey of a challenge with two kids the last session, but he handled them with Finn's help and ended up proud of the kids. Rachel laughed, knowing just who he was referring to.

Kurt hugged Rosie for a moment, then sniffed and blinked his eyes.

“Okay, baby girl, do you want to go visit Uncle Blaine now?” he asked, holding her out to his husband. Blaine grinned and took the baby, sitting her on his lap for a second before he smelled why Kurt was so eager to share. Giving Kurt a dirty look, he stood up and brought the baby back to her mother. Rachel laughed and took her, leaving the room with the diaper bag.

“I'm going to remember this, Uncle Kurt and Uncle Blaine, so I know next time she will go to her daddy instead,” she said, leaving the room to change Rosie. 

Kurt and Blaine glared at each other, Finn laughed.

“Next, I wanted to ask you if you want to go with me to Evelyn's today. Stephanie is going to get her service dog today and I thought you might want to be there?” he asked.

“We'd love to!” Blaine said after getting a nod from Kurt.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

They drove up to the kennel a few minutes early, but Stephanie and her father were already there. Stephanie was six years old and had been one of the kids in the first Children's Theater play. She had been in a bad car accident with her mother when they had been hit by a drunk driver. Her mother was killed and Stephanie had lost her left leg. She had not wanted to talk and it had been a year now. Finn had been working with her and she was coming out of her shell, but he thought a service dog would give her more confidence.

“Hello, you must be Stephanie,” Evelyn said, kneeling down to speak to the small girl. Steph looked up at her daddy and Finn, scared to say anything. She had talked about getting the dog and all the things she would need to do to help in its care, but actually being here was frightening. She looked behind her at Blaine. During her session at the theater, she had learned that Princess was Blaine's service dog and she wanted one of her own, she was just shy.

“Would you like to meet the dog now?” Evelyn asked.

Stephanie nodded her head and reached for her father's hand. They walked slowly behind Evelyn to the yard in back of the kennels, passing dog runs with various dogs in them: golden retrievers, collies, Cairn terriers, and many more. Her eyes were huge, not afraid of the dogs but wondering what hers would look like. She had whispered to Blaine that she wanted one just like Princess, but she hadn't been brave enough to tell her daddy that.

“Okay, here we are. If you would all like to sit down on the grass, I'll bring Stephanie's pup out,” the woman said, going down another row of dog runs.

Stephanie sat next to Blaine and her daddy, watching the gate to see her new dog. She was trembling just a bit and her father pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair.

“Its okay, baby girl, this will be fine,” he said.

The gate swung open and a puppy ran through, stopping suddenly when she saw the people seated on the grass. Her tail started to wag and she sniffed the air. 

“Sit,” Evelyn said and the pup plopped her butt down. She looked around, but stayed where she was. “Walk slow,” the woman said and the pup got up and walked slowly up to the group of people. She sniffed and went right to Stephanie, her tail wagging. Stephanie smiled and put out her hand, giggling when the puppy licked it.

“You can name her whatever you want, Stephanie. Do you like her?”

“Oh, yes....” the girl said, petting the silky red fur and running her hand down the long ears. “She's just like Princess, isn't she?”

“Yes. This breed of dog is called an Irish setter. Just like Princess,” Evelyn confirmed.

“Can I take her home?”

“Of course, she's yours,” Evelyn said, smiling. She loved this part of her work. 

Stephanie got up and began her stumbling sort of run, the pup right along beside her as she giggled again. She sat down a ways away and the pup sat next to her. 

“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Kurt said and everyone laughed. 

“Well, Blaine, you picked the right dog for her I think,” Stephanie's dad said.

“I was sorry you decided not to take her yourself, but now I think you were right – this may be a perfect fit,” Evelyn told him, patting him on the shoulder. Blaine wiped away tears, but smiled back at her. Kurt put his arms around Blaine's waist as they watched the little girl seem to forget her prosthetic leg and her fears as she played with the puppy in the yard. They sat for a while, watching her.

“If you'll come with me to the office, I'll get you her service vest, leash, and the papers to sign,” Evelyn said to the girl's father.

“Sure, you guys don't mind waiting with my daughter?”

“No, we'll stay until you came back,” Finn said.

“I think you made the right decision, Babe. Look at her,” Kurt said, watching the girl.

“I've never seen her forget herself this way in the year I've been treating her,” Finn said, a huge grin on his face. “Thanks, Blaine, for telling me about this puppy. I think you have made all the difference to Stephanie.”

Just then, Stephanie came back, sitting close to the men on the grass.

“Mr. Blaine? I know her name now. Since she looks like Princess, I want to name her Cinderella!” the little girl said, smiling at Blaine.

“I think that is a wonderful name. Maybe call her Cindy for short?” he suggested. Stephanie grinned.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Several months later, in Ohio**

 

Kurt and Blaine sat on a quilt in the middle of their walled garden. Princess was walking around by the roses and sniffing to find squirrels. 

“I am so happy you gave me this garden, Babe. It is the perfect place to come and relax. I wish we could have been here for the lilacs, but the late summer flowers are just as beautiful,” Kurt said, lying back on the quilt to look at Blaine.

“I'm glad you like it. I do have to admit it was a bit on the selfish side, though. I love it, too. So many memories go with this place,” he said, turning and lying down, partly over Kurt so he could kiss him. Kurt reached up his arms and put them around his husband's neck.

“Come here, you,” he said, then kissed Blaine – just the brush of his lips to begin with, but that led to pressing closer and deeper. Before they knew it the kiss had become lustful and brought sighs and moans with it.

“Oh, Blaine...I love you so much. I can say that a million times and it never can let you know just how much I love you,” Kurt sighed.

“I know, baby. I feel the same. Living with you, sharing my life with you? What could ever be better?” Blaine said as he laid back, looking at the clouds as they moved across the blue sky. 

“Its been one hell of a life together so far, though, don't you think?” Kurt asked, turning his head to look at Blaine.

“It has. I mean, I knew the first day I met you that you were going to turn my world upside-down, but I could never have envisioned all of this,” he smiled.

“Do you think grandma knew we would end up together?” Kurt asked.

“I don't know. She died when we were...nine? Then probably not. But I bet she knew we would be friends forever. Remember when she taught us to cook?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah. And it was so hard to walk into that kitchen again after – until you and Cooper redecorated it. That was one of the nicest things you ever did for me,” Kurt said, smiling at Blaine. 

“Did you know back then that we'd be together now?”

“I knew we belonged together from the start, if that's what you mean. Look at all the things we went through together! Hey, remember when you stole away on the bus to camp?” Kurt giggled and Blaine looked at him.

“That luggage compartment was NOT comfortable. I was scared I would suffocate and I even pounded on the wall, trying to get someone's attention during the ride, but nobody heard me. I guess someone up there was looking out for me?” he said, a sort of questioning look on his face.

“In that case, I'm sorry you came – I'm sorry you had to endure that. I was so happy you were there, though. I felt lost without you,” Kurt said, sighing.

“I remember the look on your face when I came into the cabin!”

“Well, you did have your hand over my mouth and woke me from a sound sleep,” Kurt defended himself. “Remember the horses?”

“Yeah...Trent taught us how to ride since his dad had polo ponies. Wow, its weird to think we've known him that long,” Blaine said, then a sad look came over his face. 

“I'm glad he and Seb are married now. He is almost like he was as a kid, don't you think?” Kurt commented, looking at Blaine to see if he seemed upset. There had been a time that the very mention of Trent's name upset him, and now that Blaine was off of all his medicine, Kurt worried.

“I do. He looks happy again. When he and Seb dropped us off at the airport, he hugged me for the first time since...well, since the incident. It felt good actually. I forgave him a long time ago, Kurt, so stop worrying.”

“I wonder what went wrong with him to make him attack you that night? I mean, we were such good friends at camp – he was the first one to bring you food and offer his help. Then at Dalton, I thought we were still good friends. It never made sense to me,” Kurt wondered.

“I don't think we'll ever know. My mom was friends with Trent's dad, they did a bunch of business deals. Birds of a feather, I guess. Maybe his dad warped him the way my mother did to me. Of course, hers was mostly neglect, but who knows what Trent went through as a kid?” Blaine said.

“When did you last hear from your mom?” Kurt asked. He and Blaine shared everything, but Kurt knew that sometimes Blaine failed to mention his mother. He didn't really blame his husband for that, his mother hadn't been in his life for years.

“Dad called last week, you know,” Blaine looked over at Kurt and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Kurt nodded. 

“He said she was still in Germany, probably taking over another company or putting serfs out in the cold to starve or something. She hasn't contacted me since she sent us that check for the wedding,” Blaine said in a neutral voice.

“It was a check for $50,000, Blaine,” Kurt said.

“Yeah, but you know as well as I do that she probably gave more than that to the gardener as a Christmas bonus. I doubt it was something from her heart,” Blaine said. “Let's talk about something better.”

“Okay. Remember our road trip?” Kurt giggled, rolling around and holding his stomach. “And when you found the pamphlets that Dad gave me?”

“Oh, my stars, Kurt...how on earth did Burt hold his tongue for so long? We were so in love with each other, and he knew it. I came out to him and so did you, but we were both so shy and scared.”

“I miss those days when we were so innocent.” Kurt sounded sad and Blaine cuddled him closer.

“I know. I think, though, if we had to grow up, we were lucky to have each other,” Blaine tried to make Kurt smile again. It worked and Kurt kissed his cheek in thanks.

“That week, when we were so young and it seemed like the whole world was open to us. I was so in love with you, baby, and so afraid you'd hate me if you found out. I don't know why it never crossed either of our minds that we were more alike than we thought,” Blaine continued.

“It turned out all right in the end, though,” Kurt said, “Then when we got together and we tried to keep it from Dad?” he laughed. Blaine laughed, too. Burt was a lot smarter than the boys had given him credit. 

“I doubt he was fooled for a single minute. He is one person that knows how to keep his mouth shut, though. Remember when we caught him kissing Carole in the alcove at the hospital?” Blaine added, rolling his eyes in imitation of his husband.

“I have never seen him turn so red. We teased him all the way home.”

“He didn't let us slow him down, though. They were married less than a year later,” Kurt smirked. “I'm so happy she is doing well in the physical therapy.”

“Wasn't that something!” 

“Okay, I honestly never thought she would be able to get out of the wheelchair, but seeing her walking again...wow. I was over the moon,” Kurt gushed, thinking of his step-mother's progress since she was diagnosed with MS. 

“Good things really do happen to good people sometimes,” Blaine whispered, coming close to nuzzle Kurt's neck. Kurt hummed his pleasure and tightened his arm around Blaine's back.

“Well, I know that to be true, my love, because I have you,” Kurt whispered back. 

“And I have you.” Blaine kissed down Kurt's neck.

“Do you know what this reminds me of?” Blaine asked.

“This garden?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded. “Yes. Lots of amazing memories, baby. I bet you know my favorite,” he said into Blaine's hair.

“Only because its my favorite, too,” Blaine answered, unbuttoning Kurt's shirt. It wasn't long at all before the two were lounging on the quilt, naked to the fresh air and forgetting everything but each other. 

Fingers found their way to favorite places, kisses covered warm skin, and Blaine and Kurt made love in their private garden. Their dreams had come true after all, and in spite of all the trials and tribulations they had over the years, they managed to hold on to each other and to stay together, and live the life they had dreamed of all those years ago.

 

As the sun set and the breeze grew cooler, they dressed once again and sat holding each other, Princess sitting beside them.

“I love you, Piglet.”

“And I love you, too, Pooh-Bear.”

 

**~~~~THE END~~~~**

 


End file.
